


See You Saturday

by Bane of Spoilers (slightly_Crazy), SpotTheStriker



Series: Lavender Saturdays [1]
Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses, Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Child Experimentation, Crests (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), DLC is ignored completely, F/M, Feral Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Feral Dimitri is Terrifying, Fire Emblem: Three Houses Blue Lions Route, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Non-Graphic Violence, Self-Harm, Slow Burn, Some blending of routes, Started as roleplay, Story mostly complete just needs editing, Written before DLC, background Dimileth - Freeform, background soriku
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 26
Words: 134,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22137514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slightly_Crazy/pseuds/Bane%20of%20Spoilers, https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpotTheStriker/pseuds/SpotTheStriker
Summary: Kishi (Riku Replica) Rowe and Xion Baker are two (mostly) regular students at the Officer's Academy doing their best to navigate the weekly perils of school at Garreg Mach.A Fire Emblem: Three Houses AU for Kingdom Hearts
Relationships: Riku Replica/Xion (Kingdom Hearts)
Series: Lavender Saturdays [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1974994
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Harpstring Moon 1180

**Author's Note:**

> Notes: Chapters are comprised of multiple prompts, one mini story per Saturday of the month, building up to the canon chapter!  
> It should be noted that the Riku Replica in this story is named Kishi because Repliku/Riku Replica is super weird outside of the context of Kingdom Hearts. For the sake of this work, Kishi's personality, background, and development are isolated to this work and not influenced by other RPs, fanfictions, or works.
> 
> Please enjoy!

_5/4 - Thunderstorms_

Xion sat out by the gazebo, head tilted back, water dripping down her face. It was quiet. Everyone was inside, away from the storm. She was alone in the gardens. 

A peal of thunder shook the monastery and she smiled. 

Kishi, on the other hand, did not like thunder. He liked rain but thunder was not ok and he raced from the stables towards the knight’s hall to get away from it. The uniforms didn’t have hoods (which was a mistake but what can you do) so he covered his eyes with a hand. 

Indecisive, he took a left turn instead to loop around to get to the dining hall. That was a better place to be in a storm and he didn’t want to run into anyone who might rope him into extra chores. 

He stopped for a second as he passed the gazebo. 

“Hey! You need to get out of the rain!” he called to the weird girl. 

She almost frowned but the boy probably didn’t mean any harm. She was in her lounge clothes as opposed to her uniform, so it’s not like she was ruining her clothes.

“Why?”

He stared at her a little dumbfounded, like he had never considered that could be an answer. 

“B-Because it’s cold? And wet? And you might get sick?”

She shook her head in response. 

“I’ve never been sick in my life and it doesn’t bother me that much. I can’t stand snow, but rain is relaxing.” 

A rumble of thunder made him consider leaving. If she was going to put a fuss then that wasn’t his business but leaving a girl alone in the rain? That didn’t seem very knightly.

“Well don’t start now. Come on inside!”

Xion sighed but stood and stretch. She’d been here awhile and her clothes were thoroughly soaked.

Satisfied that she seemed to be doing the right thing he ran with her into the reception hall. She found a bench near the door where she could still listen to the rain and thunder. Kishi stood there, wringing out his overcoat and hair. Thankfully, he had pulled it back into a ponytail but it was still wet. 

“Don’t you want to change into something dry?” he asked her. 

“No. I wore this so I wouldn’t have to worry about being wet.” She did wring out the bottom of her shirt. “Why are you so worried? Not that I’m complaining, just curious.”

“It’s not really knightly to leave a damsel in distress like that. It’s my duty to look out for people.” He stomped some of the rain off his shoes. 

“Well, I’m not in distress.” Ah so he was like Ferdinand, she considered.

“No, you’re just crazy.”

“Not crazy. I just like the rain.”

“The rain is nice but the thunder is not.”

“You’re right, thunder’s not nice, it’s excellent.”

...so yeah, crazy. He flinched at the next crack and took an involuntary step backwards before adding, “Ok, well, you enjoy that. I’m going to go find dinner.” 

“You’re going back into the rain?” she asked. 

“We’re in the Reception Hall. The Mess Hall is just across the way.” He motioned to the open door with his thumb. “Short sprint.”

“Did you know that running in the rain makes you more wet?” Unfortunately, Xion’s stomach took that moment to rumble. 

He narrowed his eyes just a little bit.

“Let me guess,” he said with a suspicious edge to his voice, “Black Eagle house?”

“Uh...yeah? Is there a problem with that?”

“...No, I’m going to go eat.” Kishi turned and started back out into the rain with a slight groan, walking to avoid getting as wet.

“Do you mind if I follow?” she called after him. 

“You can do whatever you’d like,” he said with a pleasant tone, more pleased that she was considering an alternative to standing in the rain. 

“Then I think I’ll eat, then go back to the courtyard.” Xion stood up again to follow. 

He opened his mouth to protest but the sky lit up in a flash with a loud crack and Kishi bolted forward into the Entrance Hall with an unintended, tiny yelp. 

“Hey-” She came up to the entrance hall slowly. “You okay there?”

Kishi was hiding behind a pillar but tried to play it off when she approached. “Yeah, just, didn’t want to be wet.” She chose not to repeat her statement about running. 

“...alright. I heard they were making bear stew today, should be nice.”

“That does.” He stood there a little awkwardly. It would be rude to walk away now. “Um, did you want to eat together?”

“Sure. Company’s nice.” Usually. “Why don’t you find a place to sit and I’ll get the food?”

“Um, maybe I should get the food.”

“Alright. I’ll get a table, then.” Xion walked ahead of him into the dining hall. 

Kishi went and stood in line. It didn’t take long to get their food. Fortunately, they were late enough in the afternoon where most of the students had gone to spend their free day either in the village or their rooms so the dining hall was just stragglers. 

Xion picked a corner near the doors to the fishing pond. The wind was blowing the other way, so cold wasn’t coming in as much as it was near the gardens. 

He wasn’t happy with her choice. Of course she’d pick a seat by the window. Chivalry was stupid. He shook his head to clear that thought and then went to sit across from her, giving her one of the bowls. 

“What do you study?” she asked as he sat down. She wrapped her fingers around the bowl and nearly dropped it. “Thanks.”

“Um, besides the basics? Lance and Riding right now.” He sipped at his stew. “You?”

“Lances as well, but sometimes swords instead. Always flying though.” She looked out the door at the clouds. “What house? Blue Lions? They have the most cavalry…”

“Yeah Blue Lions. You’re studying to be a Pegasus Knight? In Black Eagles?”

She shrugged. “I’ve lived in the empire the last few years. Got sent with Edelgard. Might think of switching classes at some point, though.” Manuela was supposedly the best flier of all three professors, it made sense to stay under her tutelage for now. 

“There’s a girl in my class hardcore studying to be a Pegasus Knight,” he said around mouthfuls of bread and stew. 

“The blonde girl, right? I’ve seen her a few times. Her and a pink-haired girl.” She dipped her bread in the stew. “Y’know, I don’t think I caught your name.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, that was rude. It’s Kishi. What’s yours?”

“Xion. Uh, Xion Baker. Do you have a last name?”

“It’s Rowe.”

“Nice to meet you officially, Kishi Rowe.” She extended a hand across the table.

He took it and shook her hand politely while he asked, “So why do you want to be a Pegasus Knight?”

“I want to fly. Always feel the wind on my skin. I could have been a delivery flier, but I don’t ever want to feel helpless again. Why do you want to become a knight?”

“It… runs in the family.”

She shrugged and went back to her stew. 

“I wish I could make bread bowls here.”

“Are you not on the cooking duty rotation?” Kishi asked politely.

“No, I am. We just don’t have the right yeast cultures for the bread.”

He tilted his head a little bit.

“Yeast cultures? You’re really passionate about bread.”

She waved a hand and said, “My family owns a bakery in Enbarr. Bread bowls need to be made with sourdough or rye, other bread will just let the soup leak out.” 

“Must be a nice bakery if you were able to afford to come here.”

Xion looked down a bit. 

“It’s old. We’ve sold to the capital since before the shopping district became the shopping district.” She was leaving a lot out of that.

“So your parents just saved up?” He mopped up the rest of his stew with the bread.

“...you could say that, yeah.”

“Nice parents. This place isn’t cheap.”

“What’s your horse like?” She was absolutely trying to change the subject.

He had to take a second to process the whiplash before answering, “Braver than I am sometimes if I’m being honest.”

“Probably a good horse for battle then. Won’t spook easily.”

“That’s what my grandfather thought.”

“He picked your horse for you?”

“Yeah, he’s… really involved in my becoming a knight.” Kishi scratched the back of his head.

“Do you not want to be a knight?”

“I do! I really do, I just want to do it on my own terms because I want it. Not because I have to.”

Xion nodded, as if that was all she needed to know. It was in terms of him not being just like Ferdinand. 

“That’s not really an uncommon thing though,” he continued, “I mean everyone here has something to prove. I’m just glad I don’t have a crest. I don’t think I’d be able to handle that much pressure.”

“Yeah. I… guess.” She stared down at her empty plate. “Uh… do you have any siblings?”

“An older brother, Riku, He graduated a few years ago.”

“Are you close?”

“Not really.” He gathered up their dishes to take up to the kitchen staff, ending the conversation with a polite, “It was nice talking to you.” 

“You as well.” 

He returned the dishes and then stared at the weather before running in a frantic panic back to his dorm.

Xion rolled her shoulders and headed back outside. The rain always felt nice. She only went back to her dorm when it went from gently thunder to an all-out storm.

* * *

_5/11 - Tournament_

Kishi stood at the training ground with a handful of other students waiting for the tournament to start. They were discussing strategy and Kishi complained a bit under his breath about being one of the class representatives when he felt like Dimitri was better suited for the task. 

Xion was having a conversation with an annoying Ferdinand and, at this point, tuning him out. They were both signed up already, she didn’t need to hear his lengthy speech about duty. 

They were lined up and sorted out to be matched up. Kishi was to fight Leonie first. Xion sat back to watch the first match. 

Oh. It’s Kishi. Maybe they’d fight a later round. 

He stepped up to face off with Leonie who turned out to be a tough first fight. Kishi was good with a lance but better from horseback. Leonie was good all around. 

It took them a while of back and forth dueling before Kishi won. He and Ashe high fived as he went to stand with his class. 

Xion was to fight Sylvain next. 

She was always fast and hard to catch. Sylvain was slower than her, but he hit harder too. She dodged and wove around him, landing the last hit when he used some of his precious time to try a pick up line. 

Ingrid gave him a piece of her mind when he went back to his bench. There were a couple more matches and then it was Kishi versus Xion. 

He stepped up bouncing the lance a bit in his hand. 

Xion took a lower position, keeping her weight on the balls of her feet and shifting around. 

“No banter?” he asked. 

“I could but I think it’s your turn to spearhead the conversation.” She grinned. 

“You sound like Alois.” He took an experimental jab at her middle. She giggled and leaped sideways, attempting to slash at him. 

“Too much? I thought the pun was stabulous.”

“No one likes Alois’ jokes… Except Prince Dimitri and he honestly never had a good sense of humor.” He staved off her attack with his lance and danced in closer for a jab.

“C’mon, Alois’ jokes are totally punny.” She ducked and jabbed from below. 

“Keep trying to distract me, it won’t work,” he said as he jumped backwards to dodge. 

“Who said I was trying to distract you?” Xion lunged forward, bearing down with her lance. 

He sidestepped and swiped with his own lance.

“No other reason to crack bad jokes.”

“Maybe I just like them.” She rolled and jabbed up.

Kishi narrowly avoided the swipe. 

“Not bad for a commoner,” he said only half sincere. 

She brought it back around quickly for a swipe. 

“Not bad for someone who’s never been in a real fight.” 

“Maybe I have been,” he argued as he sidestepped and kicked dirt at her, following it up with a swipe. 

Xion grinned wider and rolled again. 

“Thank the Goddess, otherwise this would be easy.” She held the lance defensively and started trying to circle around behind him.

“Come on Baker, what are you waiting for?”

“Why aren’t you coming at me Rowe? Scared?”

He grinned and stepped up to swipe again. Xion charged, ducking under the swipe before attacking from behind. Kishi took a solid hit to his back and staggered forward a bit. There were some hoots and hollers from both teams. She grinned, but ignored Ferdinand. 

“Are you down?” she asked. 

“You must not know my family very well if you think I’m quitting. You’ll have to knock me out if you want to win.”

He spun around, swiping at her feet. 

“I don’t know them.” She took a few steps back, cleared her throat, and put on a ridiculous accent. “Empire commoners don’t know much about foreign nobles, so I must be educated!” The statement was followed by a tongue aimed at Ferdinand. 

“Even Empire commoners know about Arianrhod.” He surged forward and used the butt of the lance to smack at her wrists. Xion tried to block, but was a tad unprepared. She shifted the lance to a one-armed grip--more flexible, but far less powerful.

“Arianrhod? They’d raise a kid in a fortress?”

“They do when the kid’s grandfather is the Gray Lion. He spent a lot of time there.” He kept pushing her backwards with swift strikes. Xion tumbled forward to try a lower jab. He twisted to follow her and made himself unbalanced. She aimed a kick at him and he staggered. He had to use the lance for balance. 

“You can’t stop me!” she called. Xion launched to attacks, not meant to hit hard but to force him further off kilter. He had to step back, almost tripping on the steps that bordered the grounds but she pursued him, attacking again. 

Kishi countered with the lance, pressing her back so he wasn’t at risk of tripping. Ashe yelled encouragement from the sidelines. She faked a lunge, spinning the lance to attack with the butt. He fell for it and took the butt to his chin, throwing him back to land on the ground with a heavy thud, leaving him dazed and breathless. 

The tournament organizer called it. 

Xion offered him a hand up but Kishi’s vision was still black and he made a little wheezing sound in response. 

“We can get him, miss,” Ashe said gently. He and Sylvain had come over to drag him out of the way. 

“I’ll take that hand though,” Sylvain greeted, on hand on his hip. “I’d be honored to take the hand of such a beautiful woman and I don’t just say that to anybody. I mean it.” 

“Oh? You want to arm wrestle?” She knew what he meant but played dumb. 

“If that’s what you want, then sure,” he said with a wink. Kishi made a strangled gurgling sound.

“Sylvaaaain,” Ashe whined, “stop flirting and help me out.”

“Sorry, milady, we’ll have to revisit this another time, say tonight?”

“I’ll have to pass.” Xion moved to help Ashe but Sylvain gently cut her off and scooped his arms under Kishi’s while Ashe grabbed his legs. They carried him over to the Blue Lions and set him down so he could get his bearings. 

Ingrid stepped up to fight Xion for the final!

The Black Eagle finalist squared up after getting a vulnerary from her class. She squared up against the blonde that she now recognized better from flight training. Xion and Ingrid traded blows for a while. They were both cautious fighters, and while Xion was more active, Ingrid was better at predicting her actions. Eventually, Xion hit the ground for a snooze. 

Kishi was finally coming around and was awake enough to celebrate Ingrid’s win. His back still hurt but it wasn’t too bad. His pride hurt more. He got up and headed back to class with the rest of the Blue Lions. 

Xion woke up a little bit later, got a lecture from Ferdinand, and returned to class.

* * *

_5/18 - Trapped_

Kishi had hunting duty. One person from each house was assigned to this area and Leonie had promptly gone off on her own. It made sense with her hunting prowess. The other one was Xion. He had lost track of her in the woods some time back and didn’t think anything of it until he heard the creak and rustle of a tree being harassed. He cautiously made his way there with his bow. 

Xion bobbed and swung as she tried to pry the rope off her ankle.  
“Goddess damn it,” she mumbled to herself, “I knew I should have marked it better…” 

She was dangling with her head about three feet off the ground when she wasn’t reaching up for the rope. She was also facing away from Kishi and couldn’t see her approach. 

He came around the corner, bow drawn and aimed at her back before he realized what had happened and lowered the weapon. He had to cover his mouth to keep from laughing out loud. 

Kishi quietly snuck up on her, staying low. When he was close enough, he reached out with an arrow and tickled her ear with the feathers. Xion shrieked and kicked back with her free foot. He was too low to get kicked but she came pretty close. 

“Alright, alright, calm down, Baker,” he chuckled. Kishi used the bow to turn her around while she was still hanging. 

“Just going to stand and stare?” She was using one hand to keep her shirt from falling. He smirked at her some. 

“I think I want to enjoy this for a second.” 

Xion smacked him before trying to get free again.

“Oh come on, don’t be like that,” he chided and rubbed his side where she hit him, still chuckling as he stepped out of smacking range. 

“Then help or get lost.” Her grip slipped and she fell back again. 

“Alright, alright, I’m coming.” He went to where the rope was tied and cut it loose. She hit the ground head-first and quickly scrambled to get the rope off. Kishi was standing on the other end of the rope to watch her scramble with an amused smirk. 

“I’ve never been hunting before coming here. Don’t look so smug.”

“After you made me look like an idiot during the tournament, it’s nice to see things the other way around.”

“You… didn’t look like an idiot? Where’d you get that?”

“I lost.” He raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. Did she not get that is was embarrassing for him to lose to her?

“So did I in the next match.”

“Yeah but it’s not a big deal if you lose.”

“We’re both students, why is losing such a big deal?”

“Cause you’re…” He caught himself. It was rude to make a big deal of it and he didn’t want to keep bringing up what should be obvious. “Come on, we still haven’t caught anything.”

“...fine.” She stood up and brushed the leaf litter off. He helped a little bit. 

Xion picked up the dropped bow and arrows. She never planned on using them, as she was pretty terrible with distance weapons. 

“Do you need help setting up another trap?” he asked with a smug grin. 

“Not with that attitude I don’t.”

“Do you want me to watch and make sure you don’t get stuck again?”

“I didn’t get stuck setting it up, I got stuck because I forgot to mark it.”

“Answer the question.”

“...yes.”

He grinned triumphantly and sat on a nearby rock to watch. She took about ten minutes to set the trap back up.

“Good job, you haven’t tripped it yet,” Kishi teased. 

Xion tied a short ribbon around the trunk of the tree and he got up to inspect her work. 

“No bad, might catch something.”

“Probably not. I’m not much of a hunter.” She set a little bait in the trap before stepping away from it after. 

“...thanks for getting me down.”

“No, you’re a baker and you’re welcome.” 

She crossed her arms and chided, “So you do have a sense of humor after all.”

“It’s important for a knight to have some sense of humor. Just not Alois humor.”

“Don’t want to hunt down fun words, huh?”

He grumbled, “Don’t start or I’ll string you up in your trap.”

“Play m e a song on the world’s tiniest violin.”

“Sorry Baker, only songs you’ll get from me are for the Goddess’ ears only.” He took a couple arrows and put them in his bow hand to make them more accessible and started heading away from the trap. Xion handled her dagger. 

“Shouldn’t we be quiet?” she asked. 

“Then maybe you should stop talking,” he whispered. 

“I was asking a question. I’m treating you as a teacher for now.”

He stopped and looked at her in surprise. 

“Well shit, we should’ve been following Leonie then.”

She shrugged and said, “I didn’t run into Leonie and didn’t know I’d be this bad.”

“I don’t know a lot about hunting either…” He scratched the back of his head sheepishly.

“Have you ever been hunting before?”

“Well, yeah, but I’ve never caught anything.”

“That’s still more experience that I have.”

“Xion, why did you want to be a knight?” he asked, still whispering, “Really, why did you come to Garreg Mach?”

“I didn’t have a lot of other options. I think… it’s to keep my brothers and dad safe.” She ducked behind a bush and pointed, about thirty yards away was a rabbit. 

Kishi crouched and drew the bow. It took him a second to line up the shot and then he took it. He wasn’t a bad archer and the rabbit died instantly.

“And now I’m a decent hunter,” he praised himself, “Why not stay a baker?”

“For various reasons, it wasn’t an option. I’m here now, might as well make the best of it.” 

“Or you can go home and do what you know.”

No she couldn’t…

“I’m not one for giving up,” she said firmly. 

He narrowed his eyes in suspicion and asked, “Don’t want to? Or can’t?”

“I didn’t say anything about that? Being trained to fight still offers me a better life than marrying the butcher’s son and being a housewife. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s just not the life I want.”

“Butcher’s son? Is he at least cute?” He picked up the rabbit and started field dressing it.

“He’s cute but rather dumb.” She watched him work. 

“A dumb butcher. That doesn’t seem like a good profession to be missing brain cells in.”

“He knows how to wield a knife but not how to multiply by sevens.”

“But he’s cute.” 

“He’s cute like Ignatz and Ashe are cute. Not like Sylvain or Ferdinand. He’s also fucking terrified of one of my brothers.”

“You think Ignatz is cute?” Kishi asked. 

“You don’t? Not like cute-attractive but cute-adorable.”

“I’m not really into guys,” he said with a blush and avoided eye contact, “Why aren’t your brothers knights?”

“Ventus is taking over the bakery and Vanitas is a monster hunter. Roxas, Sora, and I are triplets. So they aren’t sure what they want to do yet.” 

He paused a moment. 

“...how many brothers do you have?”

“Four. Ven and Van are also twins. They’re seven years older than us.”

“And you decided to become the knight.” He slung the gutted rabbit over his shoulder.

“Sora and Ven are absolutely softies and Van slays monsters for a living, but he’s rarely home because of it. I think I’m pretty mild compared to him. But someone had to keep the bullies away from Sora and Ven. I learned how to fight people bigger than me pretty fast.” 

“Ah, the life of a bakery owner, having to deal with all those bullies,” he lightly mocked. 

“Dad still owns the bakery. I know it’s nothing like what nobles train for. I’m sure you had a much harder childhood.” A mild sarcasm laced her last line. 

“I’m sure I did,” Kishi half-snapped back. 

“Why don’t you take your rabbit back while I check my traps again.”

“Don’t get stuck again.” She frowned and smacked him.

“Hey!” he yelped and rubbed his arm, “You know, Sylvain says that girls who are violent are secretly in love with their target and repressing their own feelings. Something you want to tell me?” Kishi smirked and leaned in for her response. 

She pulled back before headbutting him. He yelped and stepped back a bit. 

“That I’ve kicked your ass before and will do it again if need be? Or that you’re dumb as bricks for listening to Sylvain’s romantic advice?” 

“Says the girl who was hanging in a trap earlier.” He rubbed his nose. 

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It discredits you a little bit.” He pet her hair and messed it up some before turning to head back to the monastery with his rabbit, chuckling as he left. Xion batted his hand away and turned away to fix her hair. Her roots hadn’t grown out yet, right?

She went to check her (empty) trap before finding a quiet part of the woods to sit and think. She’d have to be more careful, fix her hair more frequently, and maybe not be as friendly. 

...Xion missed her brothers. 

As the afternoon turned into evening, she ran into Leonie and got a few pointers on hunting before heading back empty handed. 

* * *

_5/25 - Up too late_

Kishi had overnight guard duty. He had volunteered. It was Ashe’s turn and Kishi knew Ashe was falling behind in his studies so he took over so Ashe could have the extra study time. 

He yawned a bit and then smacked himself to wake up before resuming some pacing. The guard duty was, of course, just for show rather than actual guard duty. They Knights of Seiros were responsible for the actual heavy lifting per se when it came to guarding the monastery. Falling asleep wouldn’t be the end of the world but Kishi also didn’t want to slack off. 

He noticed the figure in the dark and brandished the lance a little more seriously as he stalked forward. 

Xion watched the owl soar away from the mountain. It was a pygmy owl, native to the deserts and hard to spot but the knight was cloudy anyway. She tucked the dye and letter away to be read later and sat on the edge of the monastery wall. 

She took no notice of the guards once the owl was gone.Curfew only applied to certain areas and she wasn’t breaking any rules. The night air was nice and cool. 

Kishi snuck up behind her and was about to strike when he realized who it was. He crept up right behind her and leaned on his lance. 

“Are all Empire bakers so weird?” he asked loudly. 

“No that’s just me. Are all Kingdom knights so nosy?”

She leaned back until she could look upside-down at him. He looked back with a disapproving scowl.

“I’m doing my job. Why are you out here so late?”

She completely changed the subject. 

“Why do I always see you on Saturdays?”

“Because you’re stalking me. Why are you out so late?”

“You’re usually the one interrupting me. How is that stalking?”

“Why are you out so late?” he dully repeated. 

“Because it feels nice, it’s quiet, and I don’t have to deal with people. I can just think.”

“Can’t you do that in the courtyard?”

Xion countered, “What’s wrong with doing it here?”

“Because it’s on the wall and not safe?”

“Lots of things aren’t safe. I like the feeling of the wind coming up the mountain and the open sky. Even if it’s covered in clouds right now. That’s harder to see in the courtyard.”

“Well, wait until morning. I don’t want you up here.”

“Why does it bother you so much? Am I in the way of your patrol?”

“Yes. I’m supposed to be keeping the wall clear and safe and I can’t do that if you’re here,” he told her. Kishi was getting a little more stressed out and being tired wasn’t helping. 

“I’m not an enemy.”

“I’m still not sure about that,” he grumbled to himself before telling her, “Look, I have to keep the wall clear. Please go?”

“Can I walk with you?”

“Would you listen if I said no?”

“I’d stay on the wall,” Xion said simply. 

He took a deep breath in through his nose and let it out slowly with a breathy, “Fine.” Xion swung her legs back over to the ‘safe’ side of the wall. 

“I have pretty bad insomnia,” she told him, “I’m up this late most nights. Most of the knights ignore me now.”

“Well, I’m going to do my job,” he grumbled as he started walking again. Xion kept pace and kept quiet. 

He was tired and doing his best to stay awake but it was making him grumpy and his hair and uniform were all out of sorts. At one point she tried to fix his hair and he flailed a bit.

“What in Goddess’ name are you doing?” he asked. 

“You touched mine last week.”

“That doesn’t mean you can fiddle with mine!”

“Why did you think it was okay to touch my hair then?” she asked him with an accusatory tone. He didn’t have a good answer for that. Well, he did. He was being rude and had done that to be degrading but that wasn’t a nice thing to say out loud so he didn’t answer. 

“How about this: If you never touch my hair again - ever - I’ll go to my room.” 

“Deal!” He spun around, maybe a little too excited. 

“Have a good night.” She turned and left, ready to spend the night dyeing her roots anyway. 

With a sigh of relief, Kishi kept walking the wall. 

* * *

_5/31 - Red Canyon Dominance_

Byleth gathered all the Blue Lions together just prior to their trip to the Red Canyon. She wanted them moving out together. 

Xion shifted her weight from one side to the other. The only people she really knew here were Rowe and Galatea… and Sylvain, but that was hardly positive. She gravitated towards the Professor as they walked. Byleth had asked for mission assistance but hadn’t clarified what she wanted yet. 

Really?? Her?

Kishi was unimpressed. Why was it always this girl hanging around?

He was pretty determined to ignore Xion and hung out with Ashe instead. Kishi was friends with the whole house but Ashe and he had more personal history so he typically stayed near him when he needed an excuse to be engaged with another person. It made the ride to the Red Canyon more bearable and uneventful that way.

When they finally arrived, and confirmed that the bandits were hiding out nearby, Byleth went around to give people instructions for the coming fight. 

She immediately separated Kishi and Ashe, giving Ashe specific instructions to check the area for chests and stolen loot that the bandits may have had on site. Kishi grimaced at losing his preferred battle buddy and started to protest but he knew better and stayed quiet, instead moving to stand by Ingrid. He had high hopes of being paired with her. 

“Kishi,” Byleth said, with the same deadpan voice, “Xion’s going to be watching you today. Fight like you normally do, but you two are going around the side to give us a pincer maneuver.” 

“WHAT?! Professor! Why me? We aren’t even studying the same things!”

“I know what I’m doing.”

Xion looked between the two of them. 

Kishi finally relented with a deep breath and a sighing, “Fine.” 

The Professor moved on to Felix. She hoped those two would get friendly with each other soon. 

The silver-haired teen glared a little bit at Xion and then walked over to his horse to mount up. Xion was still on foot, not having passed her Pegasus exams yet but she followed him quietly. Obviously, he didn’t want to talk to her, which was probably a good thing at this point. Even if it stung a little. 

“Try to keep up,” he grumbled a bit. 

“I can run well enough.” She was a little busy double-checking the straps on her armor. They were late getting into position so Kishi kicked the horse into a trot and Xion set herself at a brisk jog. The warhorse wanted to be moving faster. It didn’t like having to move so slow. He sighed again and stopped the horse, then offered her a hand. 

“I can run when it comes time to actually fight. I’m fast. Do you really want to have me up there?” she asked. 

“No, but you’re moving too slow and I don’t want to be out of position when it’s time to attack.”

“Alright then.” She took his hand and swung herself up. He kicked the horse into a lope and rodee out to get into a patch of trees near the enemy’s flank. Xion stayed quiet. This was a battle now, there was no time for levity. If she recalled correctly, these were the same bandits that had attacked the house leaders a couple months ago. 

Kishi waited until he heard metal on metal and then he kicked the horse into gear, dragging Xion along as he rushed forward to stab at a bandit with his lance. Xion held her lance ready, but didn’t see an easy way to attack around Rowe in front of her. A horse’s movement was very different from a pegasus’.

Honestly, he was having a hard time attacking with her on the back of his horse. The extra weight made moving awkward and he was trying not to hit her with the back of his lance every time he swung. 

After a few fights, Xion dismounted and just ran beside the horse. She actually kept a decent pace, all things considered. She’d make up any gaps when Kishi had to slow down to land a hit properly. That made things a lot easier and their flank was better able to herd the bandits towards the Professor and the others. 

Xion rarely attacked, only going in when Kishi didn’t finish something off in a couple hits. She’d been told to watch and assist when necessary. There was definitely a difference in how they handled their lances. Kishi was more focused on power and effectiveness, even if he was slower than her, he more than made up for it. 

It didn’t take long to clear out the bandits. Kishi hopped off his horse and wiped his lance clean on the grass, making the effort to not look at the bodies of the men they just killed. 

Xion stood there and panted for awhile. 

“You’re --- pretty impressive, y’know…” she offered. His eyes widened a little in surprise at the compliment before he shyly turned away. He didn’t take praise very well. 

“Y-You’re not so bad yourself.” 

“Thanks. We should get back to your class, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah, we should.” He mounted back up and started walking over to where Felix and the Professor were. Xion kept at a slow jog beside him.

“Professor, I think we got all of them,” Kishi reported. 

Byleth nodded and said, “Good work. When we get back, I want you all to eat together and get some rest. Over the meal, discuss things you did well and things you did poorly. I want a page-long report from each of you by Tuesday. Xion, you can turn your report in to Manuela for extra credit.” 

The class grouped up for the walk back. Kishi led the way with his horse. For now, he was the only mounted unit but he knew that others were training for it too. Ingrid was maybe one test away from being a Pegasus Knight. Ashe walked with him. They were chatting about the battle and discussing archery. 

Annette and Mercedes had politely taken to walking beside Xion as a buffer from Sylvain who was being held back from flirting by an exasperated Ingrid. Xion was appreciative of the buffer and made polite small talk with the girls. 

It was a nice day out, but there was a somber air to the group. For some of them this is their first time watching someone die. Some of them didn’t seem as bothered. Dimitri, Dedue, Felix - they were serious, but not so grim as the rest. 

The monastery loomed over them before long. Kishi detoured to the stables with Ashe while the others went to put their stuff away in their dorms. 

Xion ended up taking Mercede’s offer to help her cook and headed to the kitchen after getting out of her armor. They had pulled together a rather basic Beef Wellington. There were little leaves decorating the top of the loaf. 

Kishi and Ashe weren’t the last ones to the dining hall but just barely. Sylvain was last, he had detoured to check out a girl in the hallway and was sporting a hand shaped red mark on his face. 

“Wow Mercie! It looks amazing!” Annette praised. 

“Indeed. Thank you, Mercedes, for making such a delicious meal,” Dimitri added.

“And thank you too, Xion,” Ashe chimed in. Xion turned a little red. 

“It was mostly Miss Mercedes’ work. I just made the dough and the decorative bits.” 

“Your craftsmanship is excellent,” said Dedue. 

Sylvain leaned forward onto one elbow and smiled at her, crooning, “Yeah, absolutely. Not anyone can make a dish look this good. I think… I think I’m falling in love with you, Xion.” 

Ingrid smacked him and snapped, “At least act like a normal human being when we’re eating.”

Xion grinned and looked down. This was nice, for a night. She looked up at Sylvain. 

“You should really cut it out. I don’t date. At all. And unless you want me to kick your ass before the next lance tournament, you’ll give it up.”

“...I like a girl that can handle herself.” Ingrid dragged him out of the room to lecture him. 

“Oh Sylvain…” Ashe grumbled. Kishi dished himself up some food and started eating while he mentally worked on his paper. 

It didn’t take long for conversation to shift to the essay. The discussion was tense. No one really wanted to talk about the mission. Strategy sure, but the actual fight? Nah, it wasn’t a comfortable topic. Xion mostly kept to herself during the discussion, dismissing herself to get the dishes done. Kishi was in a similar boat. He stayed quiet unless prompted by Dimitri. 

Xion spent that night writing the essay in the courtyard by candlelight. She turned it in to Manuela the next morning. 


	2. Garland Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:  
> -(Un)expected Swim  
> -Late Nights  
> -Shopping Duty  
> -Nightmares  
> -Mutiny in the Mist

_6/1 - (Un)expected Swim_

Xion was swimming in the fishing pond. It was a hot day and she didn’t have any chores assigned today. Lounge wear wasn’t heavy, but it wasn’t the same as swim wear. She didn’t have anything better. 

Suddenly, a heavy weight landed on her with a scrambling splash.

“See? I told you I could throw him!” Raphael told Flayn from shore.

“Well done!” Alois added as he applauded the show of strength. 

Xion was pushed down by whatever landed on her and ended up clawing her way up the side of the pond with a new bloody nose. 

“What was that?” 

Kishi flailed a bit in the water. He had been minding his own business! It had taken all of two seconds to go from walking, to having a massive hand on his chest, to landing in the water and on someone else no less. He clambered to stay afloat with his uniform on and swam to the dock where he hauled himself up with a frustrated grumble. 

“Did you jump on me?” Xion asked, annoyed. 

He looked over at her was about to apologize when he saw who it was. 

“...No. Why would I want to jump on you?”

“I don’t know, you landed on me?”

“Maybe don’t swim in the fishing pond!” Kishi snapped back. Xion wiped her face, smearing the dripping blood. 

“Where else is there to swim here? And Petra does it too.” 

“Well, she shouldn’t be swimming in here either!” He wrung out his hair. It had come undone and was all tangled now.

“There’s nothing saying we can’t. No one’s fishing right now anyway and people don’t usually drop out of the sky.” She turned to pull herself up on the ledge and saw her hand. “Ah, shit.”

“Now, I smell like fish,” Kishi complained. 

“Yeah, and I’m bleeding and it is in no way my fault that you fell in the pond.”

“It’s not mine either!”

“I suppose you were just picked up and dropped then? A Wyvern was carrying you off and lost its grip, perhaps?” 

“Dropped?? I was thrown.” 

She stopped and started to laugh, “Why would someone throw you in the pond?”

“Yeah, WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT?” he yelled towards the three bystanders. Raphael, Flayn, and Alois were all trying to look busy, clearing out with mumbled excuses and suddenly remembered obligations. Even the fish keeper was off fishing for some lunch. 

Xion leaned forward and pinched her nose.

“Sorry, guess I shouldn’t have snapped at you but there’s nothing wrong with swimming in the pond when no one’s fishing.”  
He avoided making fun of her funny voice change. “You should be spending your free time studying in all honesty. Or training.”

“If you don’t have enough variety in your life you’ll get burnt out. You’ll always be tired, never interested or engaged in things you used to enjoy and I don’t want to go back to that.”

“I’ll be sure to say I told you so, when you get kicked out for poor performance,” he said with a grunt. Kishi stood up and took his boots off to dump the water out of them.

“My performance is doing fine. I’ll say I told you so-- actually, you might already be there. I’ve never seen you smile or enjoy anything,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Too busy filling big shoes. Not all of us can just do whatever we want.”

“Why do you have to fill them?”

He laughed a little bit, like he couldn’t believe she was even asking, “Because I’m a noble, our lives are determined for us the moment we’re born.” 

“You could leave that. Run away. Just tell them no.”

“Sorry, baker. This isn’t giving up on the pastry business. We have more important legacies to worry about protecting. It can’t just be about us.” he put his soggy boots back on and took his jacket off to wring it out. 

Xion got out and walked away from the pond. She needed to think all of a sudden and the only place that would be quiet enough right now was the sitting area beside the chapel. 

He watched her go and kept grumbling. Why did he keep running into this girl? They weren’t even in the same class. He huffed and hurried off to his next lecture with soggy, squeaky boots.

* * *

_6/8 - Late Nights_

Kishi had fallen asleep in the library working on an essay but not all of the books he had surrounded himself with were related to his career path. He had a sizeable collection of books on Archery as well as what would be expected. The History of Fodlan volume three was under his face as he dozed. 

Xion had been wandering around upstairs when she ended up in the library. Rowe was sleeping at one of the desks which didn’t seem at all comfortable. She went up and tapped him on the shoulder. He bolted upright, shaking his head.

“I’m awake!”

“What are you still doing up? It’s nearly three in the morning.” 

He rubbed his eyes and closed the book, looking over his essay before he turned to look at her. 

“Oh… Baker. I could ask you the same thing.”

“I’m always up late,” she reminded him, “Are you having trouble with your essay?”

“Oh right, you have that sleep issue thing. No, the essay’s done, I was just checking it for mistakes.” He put the essay into one of the books to keep it from getting wrinkled and grabbed the stack to take back to his room. “No, the essay’s done, I was just checking it for mistakes.”

“Do you want an extra pair of eyes?”

“Fine.” He was too tired to argue so he handed her the essay. 

Xion took a few minutes to read it over. 

“Looks perfect,” she said. She handed it back. 

“It should be,” he mumbled sleepily and put the paper back in the book. 

“Hey, I… wanted to apologise for last week. What I said was insensitive and I should have thought about it more.” 

“What are you talking about?”

“At the pond last week,” Xion clarified. 

“I don’t remember you saying anything insensitive. Storming off was rude but whatever.” 

“I still felt bad but if you say it’s nothing, it’s nothing.” She slipped a couple of books onto the shelves. Kishi started to leave but stopped in the doorway. 

“Did you think I was rude?” he asked. 

“You’re always a little rude, but so am I. You were snappier than usual.”

“I was thrown in a lake by that massive deer guy, I wasn’t having the best day!” he defended. Kishi took another step but was feeling guilty and turned to face her. “Sorry for being rude. That’s not really a good quality for a knight.”

“It’s okay. Hey, on an unrelated note, do you know why Professor Byleth has been on me all the time?”

“The Professor? No idea. I don’t have any clue what goes on in her head.”

“She dragged me to choir, lunch, the sauna, tea, dumped an entire bouquet of loose flowers in my arms, and asked me to help with this month’s mission again.”

“...Well that confirms she’s weird,” he sighed, “Listen, I need to go to bed. If there’s nothing else…?”

“Nah, get some sleep… and watch out for the cats, they like to play around at night.” 

He grunted in response and left. Xion finished cleaning up Kishi’s space before heading to bed herself. 

* * *

_6/15 - Shopping Duty_

Xion fiddled with the tassels of her uniform. Byleth was offering to give her extra flying lessons and authorize her tests if the lessons went well, but asked her to go to the market while she set up. 

Kishi knocked on the door to the classroom. The Professor had sent for him as well. 

"Professor? You wanted to see me?" he asked as he entered. 

“Yes, you’re on shopping duty this week, right?” Byleth asked. 

“Yes, Professor.”

“I need some items sooner than expected, can you go today?”  
“Oh, um, yes Professor. Did you have a list of things you need from me?”

“Xion has a list, but I neglected to give her the funds to pay for everything. Are you alright going with her?” Byleth pulled a small money pouch out of the desk. 

“Um… Xion? Professor, she’s not in our class…?” His confusion was evident in his voice. 

“No, but she’ll be attending a lecture on flying that I’ll be at after I get the items I need.” Xion wasn’t in her class yet but she was working on fixing that. Maybe next month. Kishi tried to not look like it was a hassle. 

“Yeah I can go with her.” 

“Thank you. You’re welcome to attend the lecture if you want. I know it’s not your area of study, but sometimes people are surprised by what they have talent in.” Byleth handed Kishi the pouch before returning to her desk. 

"Come on," he told Xion and turned to leave.

Xion fell into step beside him.

"It's nice out today," she said.

"Yeah it is," he agreed as they walked towards the monastery gates. Xion looked at the list.

"It's probably better to go to the farmer's market in town that the monastery market."

"Yeah that's where I was headed." He put his hands in his pockets while they walked.

"Do you usually do the shopping?"

"Not really. Annette and Mercedes usually volunteer and make a day of it for our class."

"All you lions seem pretty close. Must be nice."

"You're not all close in Eagles?"

"There's a lot of tension. Either you don't know anyone, or those you do know you don't get along with… or you're Hubert and Edelgard. Petra and Caspar are pretty friendly, I guess."

"I've met Edelgard a few times before coming here. She seemed nice enough," Kishi mused, only partly engaged in the conversation.

"Yeah. She seems that way." Xion didn't comment on that further. He noticed the shortness.

"You should try to get to know her."

"You try getting anywhere close to friendly with Edelgard, see how Hubert treats you."

"Hubert? The tall guy that looks like he wants to murder everyone?"

"Yeah, him. He's loyal to Edelgard to the point of obsession. And that murder look is because he's always assessing you as a threat. I'm still not convinced he isn't secretly a vampire."

"No one will ever be as scary as Lord Arundel." They were out of the monastery now and heading into the village. Xion shivered a bit.

"I'll bet you anything he's not as terrifying as some of the people I used to know."

"The Empire is just full of scary people buying bread huh?"

That was the wrong thing for her to say and she backpedaled immediately with a quick response, "The butcher used to come in before cleaning up to deliver meat. All five-year-old me could see was his dripping, stained apron under the counter. And then Vanitas decided to tell me horror stories about butchers. Van is kind of an asshole."

"So it's just a few scary people and your brother," he teased.

"Yeah, just a few." Not technically a lie.

"You should try to be more friendly with your class. People are starting to think you're in mine."

"It's not my fault Professor Byleth keeps asking me to do things with her."

"You can say no."

"She offers extra lessons and extra credit."

He shrugged and said, "As long as she doesn't take attention from the rest of us I guess. I don't want to be set back because you become a pet project."

"Honestly it's kinda creepy. Stalker-ish. I don't want to be a pet project anyway… Any chance you want a dagger?"

"...um, what?" He shot her a confused look over his shoulder. She pulled out a sheathed hunting dagger.

"A gift from your teacher that I have no use for." He pulled a matching one from his belt and held it up.

"She gives everyone one like that."

"Pastries too?" She'd already eaten hers, but maybe he hadn't.

"Sometimes. I get gifts from her a lot. Everyone except Sylvain, which is probably for the best."

"Oh Goddess, Sylvain even hits on the Professor?"

"If it moves and has boobs," he said with a shrug, "Sylvain's not a bad guy but he definitely knows what he wants." They arrived at the market not long after that.

"Wish he'd listen when I tell him I'm not interested."

"That's just music to his ears. The best thing you can do is just ignore him outright. ...I can help stave him off if it really bothers you."

"It's a minor annoyance at worst. What do we have to spend?" Xion pulled the list out again.

"I didn't even look at the list."

"How much money do we have?" Kishi pulled out the money pouch and bounced it around in his hand to make it easier to look through.

"About $2500."

"I can probably get everything on the list for $1700."

"Awesome, that leaves $800 to give back to the Professor."

"You don't think we should stock up for next week where we can?" Xion asked.

"Not really. Making students do the shopping is more of a formality than an actual requirement. We don't really need to stock up."

"...I guess. Edelgard always has shopping being filling up stock instead of getting what we need now."

"Like I said, this isn't usually my job."

"I'll still defer to you, this is for your house. I'm sure Edelgard runs it differently than Byleth." Why did Byleth seem to be more in charge of the Blue Lions than Dimitri? Or maybe it was just that Byleth took a more active role than Hanneman or Manuela.

"I thought Manuela was in charge of your house?" Kishi asked.

"She teaches our house, but Edelgard runs it."

"That's weird. I mean, Dimitri helps the Professor but the Professor does pretty much everything."

"Byleth does more with me than either Manuela or Edelgard."

"...that's also weird. She must be trying to poach you."

"Poach?"

"Yeah, get you to change classes."

"...I can't. I have to get stuff done in this class first. She's not even that great at flying... maybe if she was. And if I didn't have to worry about things already on my plate."

"Well tell her that. I'm not trying to recruit you."

Xion took a minute to haggle down some prices.

"Can you help carry some of this?" she asked Kishi. He talked the seller into parting with an old wooden crate that fit well under his arm. Kishi loaded a lot of the items into it and picked it up.

"I guess that works too." They had $850 to bring back to the Professor. Kishi started heading back to the monastery. Xion jogged a few steps to catch up.

"Do you want any help?"

"I got it," he reassured her.

She shrugged and said, "Alright. I've told you lots about my life, tell me more about yours."

He laughed a little bit, "You haven't told me that much!"

"More than you've told me."

"You offered what you've told," he said with a grumble. Now that he knew she was serious he was less playful.

"I guess you don't have to talk about anything you don't want to. Seiro’s knows I've got my own secrets and embarrassing memories."

"Why are you so interested in the first place?" he asked but she just shrugged again.

"The universe seems to be conspiring to push us into each other. Might as well get to know you better," Xion offered by way of explanation.

"Universe? You don't believe in the Goddess?"

"I believe in a higher power. Maybe that's the Goddess, maybe it isn't, maybe she's a part of it. I just don't keep all my eggs in one basket. "

Kishi raised an eyebrow but didn't debate it.

"Do you believe?" she asked him.

"I do. I believe in the Goddess."

"Then I pray she's what you need."

"Thank you. I appreciate that." He took the produce to the kitchens and Xion made her way to the lecture.

* * *

_6/22 - Nightmares_

This was clearly the month for odd jobs. Kishi ended up on kitchen duty with Dedue. He was making gravy while Dedue worked on more important dishes. Dedue was in the storeroom at the moment, away from where Kishi was neglecting the rest of the food.

Xion was passing through the dining hall when she stopped and sniffed the air. That didn't smell right. She changed directions and headed for the kitchen. She pushed the door open.

"Hey, something's burn—Rowe?"

He looked up in alarm, choking out, "Baker? What are you doing here?"

"I can smell something burning."

"I don't smell anything."

"There's smoke coming to from the pot." The gravy was burning. He looked over at the pot and rushed to pull it from the heat, stirring it rapidly.

"Shit, Dedue isn't going to be happy."

"Well, let's just start over. What kind of gravy were you making?"

"Chicken gravy." He scratched the back of his head shyly. Xion got out a new pot.

"Brown a little bit of butter in this, then fry some onions in it."

"You'll want the onions to actually burn a little."

He took the pot from her and did as instructed, heaping a generous amount of butter and onions into the pan. Only when the onions were starting to turn black did Xion hand him some flour and chicken stock.

"Add the stock first and add starch once the whole thing is hot but not boiling," she directed.

"But boiling is how you know it's hot."

"When bubbles are just starting to appear on the side but it's not rolling."

He adjusted the heat some and followed instructions, doing his best to commit what she was saying to memory.

"Chicken gravy is usually pretty mild, salt and pepper are usually enough for spices. You might try some garlic, but we aren't going to go fancy. Add flour until it's the thickness you want," she continued.

He scooped up some flour but added it too quickly and way too much. With a panicked grasp he put the rest of the flour down and tried to scoop out the clumps. Xion found a strainer and scooped off the top, leaving the clumps in the basket.

"Maybe use a spoon next time."

"Well how was I supposed to know that?" he snapped in frustration.

"Hey. It's fixed now, you don't need to get upset." She rinsed out the strainer. Kishi focused all his attention on the gravy.

"Sorry, sorry," he mumbled while he stirred.

"It's alright, you're frustrated and in a time crunch. Taste it, does it need anything else?"

"You taste it. I don't know what to look for."

"You're looking for if it tastes good or not, Rowe."

His grip on the stirring spoon tightened a little.

"Dont get smart with me, Baker. I'm not in the mood."

"I'm not trying to get smart. Does it taste like chicken gravy or not."

He rolled his eyes. She was a commoner talking to him like that but he tried it. It tasted fine to him. Maybe bland if he was picky.

"Is it good?" she prodded.

"It's gravy."

"Then I guess you're done." She turned and left the kitchen.

He glared after her but still felt guilty. He'd have to make it up to her at some point.

Kishi yawned wide enough to swallow a bird without noticing as he plowed across the monastery towards his dorm.

Xion had fallen asleep on the bench in the courtyard. It was too late for most people to be up. She'd probably be embarrassed if she was discovered. But right now she was too busy sleeping. She rolled off the bench as he ran by.

It got his attention and he stopped to check on her.

"Oh wow, hey, are you ok? .... Baker? Oh come on."

She didn't seem to wake up at that. Her face was pinched and she let out a little whine.

"Are you sleeping?" he asked aloud. The second the words were out of his mouth he realized how stupid they were. He gently shook her shoulder. She jerked awake and crossed her arms in front of her face. He let go of her.

"Hey, you're ok."

"I—" It took her a moment to relax and respond, "... I'm sorry."

"Are you ok?"

"Uh—yeah, just a bad dream...why are you up?"

"I'm heading back to my dorm to sleep... Do you need help getting to your room?"

"No, I'm... I'm good. Can I walk with you, though?" She sat up and brushed herself off. He owed her for the help in the kitchen earlier. So he offered her a hand up.

"Yeah that's fine."

She took it.

"Sorry again. I didn't mean to fall asleep out here."

"It's ok." He pulled her up and then put his hands in his pockets.

"You didn't answer my question earlier, why are you up so late?"

"Studying for an exam. Why are you sleeping on benches?"

"I didn't mean to sleep, I was just watching the sky."

He sighed, "Someday you'll take being here seriously."

"I probably take it more seriously than you think."

"Then why do I find you goofing off week after week?"

"Because Saturdays are break days and for whatever reason you only ever see me on Saturday."

"I do actually buckle down and get my work done during class."

"I'll have to take your word on that.... Hey thanks for helping me with kitchen duty today."

"I didn't help much. Just gave you advice. I only touched it once."

"Well, I'm sorry I snapped at you."

She shrugged. "You were stressed. Also, you snap at me a lot, I'm used to it."

He blushed and looked down. "Sorry..."

"You don't need to apologise. I'm pretty rude myself."

"I'm a knight, I'm not supposed to be rude."

"Lorenz is a knight too. And so is Felix, isn't he?" To be honest, she wasn't quite sure about Felix. "You're definitely not as rude as Felix."

"They're not really knights so much as noble heirs."

"What's the difference?" That sounded bad. She continued, "I'm not trying to be mean, I genuinely don't know."

"They will eventually take charge of their houses and regions. Knights serve people like that."

"Rowe doesn't have a region?" Her knowledge of Kingdom territories was shakier than her Empire knowledge.

"We do. We border the Empire. It's our domain that houses Arianrhod."

"And you aren't inheriting that?"

"My older brother is," he grumbled, "I'm inheriting control of Arianrhod, as a Knight to serve my brother."

Ah, that's right. He had mentioned an older brother, when they first met. "You don't sound happy about that."

"My path was laid out for me, it is what it is." He stopped in front of the dorms.

"I don't know what room is yours."

"I'm downstairs. Second level. I can make my way from here... thank you, Rowe."

"Kishi," he corrected. She paused going down the steps and turned around.

"You want me to use your first name?"

"I want you to stop using my last."

"Why do you use mine, then?"

"It's not my fault your last name and your profession are the same."

"I'm not a baker."

"Didn't you say you worked in a bakery?"

"I said my family owns a bakery."

"And you know how to cook," he pointed out.

"Lots of people know how to cook."

"But not a lot of people own a bakery." He shook his head.

"It doesn't matter, just go to bed, Baker." He turned and headed towards the stairs to the second floor dorms. The second his door was closed, he flopped on his bed and passed out.

Xion let herself into her room. She wished she was still just a baker.

* * *

_ 6/30 - Mutiny in the Mist _

Byleth gathered her students again.

"We'll be marching on Gaspard territory today. We shouldn't need to fight, but I want you all to be prepared anyway. We'll be taking Xion again, she's meeting us at the gate. Do you have any questions?"

Kishi tilted his head in confusion. Next to him, Ashe looked gloomy and upset. He stayed quiet while they gathered their things to move out.

Xion was waiting at the gate, already dressed and ready. The class seemed somber again—or maybe it was just some of them. Either way, she stayed quiet and near the Professor.

Thunderbrand Catherine was walking with the Professor, Dimitri, and a sullen Ashe. They were talking amongst themselves for the most part, discussing their boring role as back up ("really you won't even have to fight") and discussing the Relic that the Knight of Seiros had.

Kishi hung back. He wanted to be there for Ashe but he wasn't sure how to comfort him. The whole ugly situation was weighing on him too.

As they walked, the fog thickened. Shouting could be heard ahead, then all around. Xion pulled her lance out and tightened her grip.

A soldier came running up to report to Catherine. The enemy had broken through the Knight's lines using the fog for cover.

"Oh Lonato..." Ashe mumbled to himself. Kishi put an arm around him.

"Hey," he comforted, "It's going to be ok. We'll figure out what happened."

Byleth unsheathed her sword and called, "All of you need to be ready to fight. Now!"

Kishi mounted up and adjusted his gear. He wanted to stay by Ashe but he was being sent up north to flank which was utter nonsense considering the fog. What was he supposed to be flanking? He couldn't see anything. Doing this from horseback was ridiculous.

Xion was going to fight this time, but she was being sent alongside Kishi again. Byleth passed her a torch as she went. Kishi huffed a little and held the horse back to wait for Xion to catch up. She jogged beside the horse.

"Don't slow down on my account. I can keep up, remember?"

He was too tense to argue. They were very close to home for Kishi and he was uncomfortable. He was even familiar with these woods, fog or not. Xion was not familiar. Even in torchlight, she had to squint to make out shapes.

Kishi kept to the edge of the trees. The horse couldn't go through them very quickly. Xion was between Kishi and the edge of the forest.

"It's quieter over here," she observed. And it was. It was difficult to hear the start of the fighting near the Professor.

"Let it stay that way. They can't see us well either."

Xion shut up at that.

There were sounds of clashing in the distance, but it was still quiet near them. After a few more minutes of pushing forward, Kishi’s horse started to prance, ears flicking back and forth, reacting to small sounds in the trees. Xion put the torch away to ready her weapon.

Kishi was watching the horse, trusting its instincts. He stayed quiet for a second, listening. He wasn't sure where it came from at first, but he felt it coming. He jumped off his horse and tackled Xion to the ground. The arrow thudded into his shoulder on the way down, slowed by his armor.

"Kishi?!"

Xion took a moment to stumble up before handing him her vulnerary.

"I'm going to go find the archer, you need to get to Mercedes—actually, do you need help getting to her?" she asked but Kishi covered her mouth with his hand to shut her up, and held still, holding her down while he listened to the forest around them.

It took her a moment, but she stilled as well. That was stupid. This was a battle; she couldn't afford to panic.

He slowly let go of her when he was sure she wasn't going to be loud and reached up to break the arrow. He grunted a little in some pain and his arm was stiff with the head still lodged firmly in his shoulder but with most of the shaft gone it would be safer to move around without making the wound worse.

Kishi motioned to her and then a spot deeper in the trees. The mist was shifting around the trees funny there, passing around movement. She glanced before crouching and creeping toward the spot. Once she could see the person there, she circled behind and attacked.

The archer whirled around to try to get a shot off, but she was too close, and he was a recently drafted townsperson with limited military knowledge. (So no close counter lol.) He died with a gurgling sound.

Xion winced before looking around for other adversaries.

The underbrush rustled as Kishi came around a tree. He dropped another body from his good shoulder on top of the archer's body with a grunt.

"Archers aren't usually alone," he explained. Kishi stepped over the bodies and sludged through brush to get back to his horse.

"You need healing." She kept her lance out. "Or that's going to get worse."

"It can wait until after the battle," he said softly. He remounted. The mist was starting to clear now. Something must have changed.

"... I'm sorry I panicked. Thank you for the save." Xion moved a few paces ahead of him.

He didn't respond. He was distracted. With the mist clearing he could see the light of Thunderbrand up ahead. He needed to be careful. There was a real possibility that Lonato was here or that he'd be fighting someone else he might know. He didn't want to look very hard at the people they were killing. He pushed the horse into a trot to catch up with the rest of the class. Xion followed him, trying to keep herself between Kishi and any possible ambushes.

It was becoming more clear as they approached that Lord Lonato was facing them himself. The battle was much more out in the open and Kishi was much less happy, not that he was in the first place. He could tell Ashe was struggling too.

Xion ended up being sent in a different direction to catch some stragglers while they dealt with Lonato and those closest to him.

Regardless of direction, Kishi went to Ashe to back him up. He knew that Ashe would struggle here. Sure enough the closer they got to Lonato, the more people they recognized. Ashe tried to plead with them where he could, but they weren't going to be persuaded.

Xion didn't have any personal ties to these people, but they weren't soldiers. They were never trained to fight. They had jobs, and families, and hopes that weren't tied to this battle. Xion set out a prayer and silently cursed herself whenever one fell before her.

It didn't take long to surround Lonato. Kishi used his horse to block Ashe when it looked like delegations weren't going well. There was some discussion, and then Byleth killed him. Kishi couldn't watch. Ashe wasn't handling it well.

"Why... Why did this happen? Lonato was always such a kind man..." he lamented to Dimitri and the Professor.

Feeling intrusive, Kishi moved away from them to make himself useful rounding up those few who had surrendered.

Xion ended up pointing Mercedes at Kishi before trying to gather the bodies of the dead. Their families would want to bury them properly.

"Kishi, you need to hold still so I can help you properly!" she insisted, running after him.

"It can wait Mercedes!"

"Get down off that horse right now so I can take care of you!"

He grumbled but obeyed. With Annie's help they got the armor off and Mercedes was able to pull the arrowhead out and cast heal. It took care of most of the damage but left him feeling a little stiff.

Eventually, Byleth gathered them for the March back to the monastery. Kishi was short a pauldron so his shoulder could rest. Others were hurt too but it was isolated to some bruises and scratches. He took up the rear by himself, making sure no one fell behind.

Xion was staying close to the Professor after that, lost in thought and memories.

When they got back, Kishi broke off to head to the stables, not paying a ton of attention to where the others went.

Xion went to the church, to the little sitting area beside it. She was quiet, not trying to get anyone's attention. She just...needed to think awhile.

Byleth didn't give them an assignment this month.


	3. Blue Sea Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:  
> -Flower Crowns  
> -Mail  
> -New Classmate  
> -Scream  
> -The Goddess's Rite of Rebirth

_ 7/6 - Flower Crowns  _

Xion sat in the greenhouse. She'd finished weeding for the day and had gathered all the flowers she'd collected into a basket. She'd work outside, but it was very windy today and she didn't want the flowers to blow away just yet.

Kishi still wasn't feeling great after the prior months mission. Mercedes seemed to get that and helped cover for him. She was on kitchen duty and recruited him with a few easy tasks. For now, he was to fetch vegetables. He knew she had plenty and it was just busy work but he did it anyway, letting himself into the greenhouse with a sigh.

Xion looked up from her work. She had three loops of flowers hanging off one arm and was working on a fourth.

"Can I help you?" she asked.

He looked up with some surprise.

"Tomatos."

Xion carefully put down the crown she was working on and headed to the back of the greenhouse. Dedue wasn't here today, so it was just them. He followed her quietly. The tomato plants were a little off the walkway, and she stepped carefully around the other plants.

"Anything else?" She gathered a fair number of tomatoes.

"Celery." His voice was soft. She went back to the front to get a basket before coming back to the vegetables.

"Do you need to talk about something?" Xion asked him.

"Huh? Oh. No, I'm good. ...do you?"

"...not right now." Celery stalks went in.

"You just seem... distant, I guess."

"Oh, sorry. Just not sleeping all that well since..." Kishi mumbled, then fell silent.

"...did you know them?"

"...yeah. Gaspard territory is adjacent to Rowe's. I saw Ashe and Lonato a lot." Xion see the vegetables aside and brought her flower basket over.

"How many?"

"What?" he questioned, confused.

"How many people did you know there?"

"Lonato, his personal guard... Others I recognized their faces but didn't know their names." He sat down on the edge of the raised beds so he could run a hand through his hair. It was loose today. Xion placed a few flowers in his lap.

"I make these for people I knew that died. It helps, sometimes. Just to acknowledge who they were to me and to know they haven't been forgotten," Xion told him.

"That's... Thoughtful." He fiddled with the flowers, still distant. He took a couple more, weaving them together.

"I can't tell you how to grieve. Just that you should. Give yourself time to be sad, don't act like everything is okay."

"They went against the goddess. I shouldn't be upset that they had to die but I'm upset they felt like they had to turn on the church in the first place."

"And it's understandable to be conflicted about it." She picked up the chain she had been working on before.

"Lonato was a good man," Kishi whispered. "He shouldn't have had to die."

"What was he like?"

"What a knight should be," Kishi said gently. "He was kind and strong and he didn't care where anyone came from. He loved both his sons equally, even if one was adopted."

"Who was he to you?"

"The dad I should've had," he said a little more quietly, as he turned his attention back to the flower crown.

"He was very important to you. I'm sorry." She finished off the crown in her hands and started a fifth.

"You didn't know anyone there."

"No. But I've lost people all the same. And just because I didn't know them, it doesn't mean they weren't people. That they don't deserve my respect in their death. I've known too many people the world has forgotten to not grieve over strangers."

"You're not going to be a very good knight if you feel that way."

"Maybe not. I don't let it stop me. But I think it would be better to take one life to spare ten. So, I do what I have to."

"Sometimes knights have to kill a lot of people in defense of their lord," Kishi reasoned, "and the goddess."

"Maybe I'll be a vigilante."

"Sounds lonely."

"That's nothing new."

"Says the girl with four brothers."

"I haven't seen them in three years."

"...Have you been at the monastery that long?"

"No. A different School." She lied.

"Like Annie did. Which one?'

"It's a secret. I don't know why I'm telling you this, I really shouldn't be."

"That's ok. You don't have to." He finished the flower crown and put it on her head then got up.

"I—thanks..." She paused in making her own crown to look up at him.

"Thanks for helping me find the vegetables." He shouldered the crate and left.

Xion spent the rest of the afternoon making crowns. Most of them she left floating on the pond. The one Kishi gave her ended up on top of her desk.

* * *

_ 7/13 - Mail _

Xion sat in the reception hall. She'd just had breakfast and was waiting to see if mail had been delivered. She didn't expect anything, but she always checked.

She was somewhat surprised to find a letter. Even more surprised to see the plain black wax holding it shut. It was heavier than it should have been, so it was holding something. Vanitas sent her something via official mail instead of his owl. She took it back to the hall almost giddily.

Xion broke the seal and a fancy dagger tumbled out onto the table. She looked at it quizzically for a moment before carefully reading the half-smudged letter. Then decided to look for Kishi. It was Saturday. They were bound to run into each other.

Kishi usually got mail of some kind but it was usually just added pressure. He was pretty determined to ignore it but the messenger had run him down along with others. He accepted the letter just outside the Reception Hall with a huff.

He ripped his letter open where he was standing and scanned through it. His heart sunk a little and he read it a little more carefully. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

He wasn't that far having just left the reception hall heading for the Cathedral when Xion spotted him. She jogged a little to catch up.

"Hey! Can I ask you something?"

He turned around when he heard her voice.

"Baker? ...It must be Saturday. What do you need?"

"If you want me to call you Kishi, you should call me Xion. Anyway, I got a letter from one of my older brothers, with a dagger. He said it was some Kingdom tradition but didn't tell me anything about it. Or what it meant."

"Your brother sent it to you?"

"Vanitas."

"That's more Northern Kingdom. Dimitri would be the one to ask about there. He or maybe Felix,"

he sighed, "It's different in different parts of the Kingdom but the big thing is that it's a wish for the person you give it to, to have strength to cut their own path."

She stopped for a moment. Vanitas wasn't very cryptic with his messages usually. So, she had to go with an obvious interpretation.

"...thank you. Really, thanks."

"It's only really something you see when people really care about each other."

"Eh, Vanitas is weird. I owe you one for this. Is there anything you want?"

He blinked a little bit in surprise at her offer.

"Rain check on the IOU?"

"Sure. Just let me know, okay?"

"Yeah, ok." He distractedly turned and headed for the classrooms with the crumpled letter.

Xion watched him go. Hadn't he been heading for the cathedral earlier...? Oh well. She examined the dagger more closely now. The pommel looked like carved bone—probably from something Vanitas killed.

Carve her own path. Not the strength to do so, but the option. She had to go talk to Edelgard.

* * *

_ 7/21 - New Classmate _

It was sunday morning, just before class and Kishi wasn't having a fantastic day. There was a lot going on this month. The threat on the Archbishop's life, the confusion of the Western Church rebellion, the letter he got from his grandfather... It was just a lot. He kept looking down, dodging the glares from Ingrid and the excited, confused persistence from Sylvain.

Xion hesitated by the doors before coming in and sitting at the front of the class.

Dedue and Felix didn’t give her a second glance. Dimitri and Ashe nodded at her reassuringly. Annie and Mercedes waved with excitement. Sylvain moved to sit next her. Kishi’s jaw dropped a little bit in surprise and Ingrid ignored her to keep glaring daggers, though she redirected them from Kishi to her books.

"Xion is joining the Blue Lion house," Byleth announced. She had very little sense of tact.

"Don't worry Professor, I'll take her under my wing and show her the ropes," Sylvain said with a salute and a wink.

"I think I'll be paired with Ingrid more. Flying and all that. So, if you want to hang out with both of us..." Xion had listened to Ingrid complain about Sylvain often enough to know that would at least be a deterrent.

Kishi promptly stood up, grabbed his books and his chair and moved between them. There wasn't a ton of space, but he pushed Sylvain’s chair with his foot far enough to jam his own chair in there, creating a barrier between Xion and the thirsty idiot.

"I think that's great Xion," Ingrid said. "Come sit with me." She scooted to make room.

"Thanks Ingrid, but I'd rather sit up front where I can hear better."

Kishi tried not to look displeased with that. Three of them crammed at desks meant for two was crazy packed especially with Sylvain manspreading and Kishi stuck between them. He was smart enough to not argue though and did what he could to make sure that Xion had the space she needed. Fortunately, Xion didn't take up a lot of space. She kept her books under her seat when she wasn't using them and was small herself.

True to what she'd told Kishi, in class Xion was serious and focused on her work.

It took Sylvain some time to calm down but eventually class resumed as normal. They studied the better part of the day until it was time to take a break for lunch.

Xion followed the group somewhat quietly. Byleth was pushing harder material than Manuela. She ended up taking a book to study at lunch.

Most of them broke for lunch but Sylvain took his food and tried to find where Xion would be sitting. Kishi cut him off. He stood in front of Xion and glared at the red head. Sylvain knew from Ingrid that Kishi wasn't having a good week. He put a hand up in surrender and went to find other girls to bother.

"Thanks for that. You don't have to drive him off, I have a plan to get him to stop. But thank you."

"He's my friend. Any way to deter him kindly is preferable." He looked around the room trying to decide who to sit with. In the past he would've sat with Ingrid and Felix. They were typically good company, but Felix was eating out by the training grounds and Ingrid kept looking away every time he made eye contact.

"You can sit here if you want to. I'm not going to be very talkative today," Xion offered. She cracked her textbook open behind her sandwich. He shifted a little but kept looking at Ingrid.

"I think I want to eat alone. Welcome to our class." Kishi promptly headed out to eat by the pond.

Xion watched him go quietly before returning to her book.

* * *

_ 7/27 - Scream _

Xion was on kitchen duty and had arrived early to get some dough started for cinnamon buns. She walked into the storeroom, screamed, and ran back into the kitchen.

Kishi heard the scream while he had been investigating the monastery. Their whole class was trying to find out if there was any reason for the note on Lonato’s person.

He rushed into the kitchen looking around in a panic. Xion was backed into the opposite corner from the pantry, shaking and scratching her arms. He ran over to her.

"Baker? Xion! What's wrong?" She looked down.

"There's-there's a rat..."

He let out his held breath with relief and relaxed.

"Oh thank the Goddess I thought it was something important."

She started turning red.

"I'm sorry if I scared you," she said.

"Why are you apologizing? You didn't do anything."

"You were probably busy doing something, right?"

"Just the class assignment." He started towards the storeroom.

Kishi asked, "Do you need help with your rat?"

"...yeah." She probably wouldn't be able to go back in the pantry until it was gone.

"Alright I got it." He messed up her hair semi-playfully and stepped away to go into the pantry. She turned away to fix her hair.

"Hey—you said you wouldn't!"

He messed around with some of the shelving until the rat was startled free. It raced out of the pantry in a panic. Xion shrieked and scrambled up onto the counter. The pest stopped for a second but a thrown apple hit it and startled it out the door and down the walkway to disappear in the grass.

Xion was scratching her arms again and pressed against the wall.

"It's gone you can calm down."

She took a deep breath and softly said, "I'm pathetic."

"Just a little bit." He leaned against the door frame.

"I shouldn't be scared of a rat."

"Why are you scared of a rat?"

"I grew up in a city. Do you know what rat bites do? Do you know how quickly they get infected, or how many bites a scared rat will give a curious child?" It wasn’t quite why she was afraid, but close enough of an excuse.

"Sure but you're not a curious child."

"No but rats still bite when they're scared."

"It's a rat sweetheart," he said, mildly condescending, "You'll be ok."

"I know it's an irrational fear. Doesn't make it go away."

"You'll conquer it someday." He messed her hair up again and then left.

Xion had to stop and fix her hair again.

* * *

_ 7/29 - The Goddess’s Rite of Rebirth _

Xion had passed her Pegasus Knight exam that morning... and then Byleth handed her an axe that she had no idea how to use… and now they were all headed to the crypt but at least she was flying now.

After spending the month investigating the note, Kishi (like the others) was convinced this was an attempt to get into the Holy Mausoleum. Why? He had no idea but after the Western Church uprising, he wanted answers as much as anybody, so he was eager to get his poor horse through the cathedral and into the crypt. He stood near Ingrid. She was mounted now too and the mounted kids were being kept together.

There was strength in numbers, and keeping the mounted kids together meant they could still take advantage of being able to charge ahead. Being on a pegasus now, Xion was with Kishi and Ingrid. Although not strictly paired up as she had been before.

Sylvain caught up to them a little late. He was also mounted for the time being having passed his certifications. He and Kishi exchanged a quick fist bump and Sylvain flashed Xion a sultry look but even he knew when crap was about to hit the fan.

Xion wasn't paying him any mind to begin with, instead scanning the room and making experimental swings with her axe.

They came out into the open space of the crypt and saw the grave robbers. Kishi's horse pranced in excitement, ready to engage. He waited patiently for orders as Byleth and Dimitri stood off, confronting the mages that were attacking one of the grave sites.

Xion's pegasus was fairly calm. It was indoors, no need to fly most of the time.

When it was clear that negotiations weren't going to work, they got orders to move in and they were on a time crunch. Mounted units were split up. One flier and one horse unit to each side to keep the rebels from fleeing. Kishi and Xion were sent right, Ingrid and Sylvain left. Kishi waved his lance to confirm he heard the orders and then led the way around a few pillars and headstones. Xion took advantage of the terrain where she could, guiding her pegasus up into harder-to-reach places.

Kishi didn't like being a forward guard but Annette and Ashe were behind them so it wasn't like they were alone. He saw a mage notice them and kicked his horse into a faster pace. He engaged the mage with his lance, running him through the chest. It wasn't enough to kill the mage immediately. Ashe's arrow from behind saw to that. He kicked the corpse off his weapon and turned to block a myrmidon with the horse so he couldn't get to Annie.

Xion took out the myrmidon with a decently timed axe swing before turning back ahead. The axe was much heavier than the lance had been, but it also dealt a heavier blow. She wasn't sure yet if it was worth the longer attack time.

Kishi came around a corner, chasing a mage, when he saw the other horseman. He was just... standing there. His horse was heavily armored, just like the man, and he was focused straight ahead on the Professor and Dimitri. Kishi readied his lance, his horse pawed at the ground wanting to run at the target. Something didn't feel right about that guy...

"Kishi!" Xion called. An archer was getting close on their side. Xion was still between them and Annette but knew better than to engage from the air.

He looked up when he heard Xion shout and turned to confront the archer. Ashe was engaging him, keeping the man distracted long enough for Kishi to rush in, mowing the guy down with his horse. Xion took the opportunity to dart past him after a mage. Mages wore no armor and were not prepared for axes.

"Ashe, you and Annie cut back to the middle of the room and regroup with the Professor," Kishi ordered. His friend nodded in agreement and they broke off.

"Baker, we're going up the side to meet them at the casket. It looks like there are stairs over there and I want to make sure we don't miss any of these traitors."

Xion nodded.

"I'll take the ones on the left you take the ones on the right?" she offered.

He nodded and then the horse decided they were done talking and they were racing up the stairs and down the space between the headstones to run down the mages hiding there.

Xion had a few misses with the axe. Damn Byleth for taking her lance but she managed to finish off her mages relatively quickly.

Kishi could see the Mage leading the others in the distance.

"Can you handle him?" he asked Xion. Then turned and raced back the way they came without waiting for a response. He was looking for that heavily armored knight.

Xion watched him go for a moment before charging the remaining mage. She knew Kishi could handle himself. She landed the first blow, but not the last. Dimitri did that. Then Seiros' grave was opened and Byleth used a funky looking sword to actually cut the leader down.

Xion took a moment to absorb the fight. It didn't feel as...gloomy, this month.

Kishi could hear the shouting of the others as they caught up to Xion. They must've already killed that knight then. He came around the corner and saw him standing there. He had turned to face the class as they passed by him but was unscathed and unwilling to engage. Why? Who was he? He clearly wasn't on their side but that meant he was with the Western Church uprising, which made him an enemy. Kishi's horse pawed at the ground again and tossed his head. It wanted to attack but the Professor didn't... He had a bad feeling about it.

The Death Knight turned and looked at Kishi and the student felt his blood run cold as the horse beneath him balked. This wasn't someone he should mess with. The knight looked ahead again, and then turned and ran.

"Hey! Wait! Stop!" Kishi ran after him but his horse was fighting him and the Knight got away.

Kishi changed directions and rode up to the group that was surrounding the Professor with awe. He used the horse to get through them and dismounted to confront Byleth.

"Why did you let him get away?!" he yelled but immediately regretted it when he saw the Sword of the Creator and started to feel small. Fortunately, Byleth was escorted away quickly. The Knights of Seiros had caught up and we're taking over.

Xion landed beside him.

"Are you okay?" she asked him. He watched the class move out.

"I'm fine." He got back up on his horse to follow them out of the crypt. Xion carefully lead her pegasus out as well.


	4. Verdant Rain Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:  
> -Stained Hands  
> -Group Project  
> -Test Taking  
> -Higher Places  
> -Tower of the Black Winds

_8/3 - Stained Hands_

Kishi came back to the monastery with his fussy horse in tow and purple hands. Streaks of purple stained his uniform too. Overall, he was grumpy but that seemed to be his default mood these days anyway.

Xion was in the market, getting food supplies for the week. She looked over, suppressed a giggle, and approached him.

"What happened?"

He looked up, slightly startled by her, and then grumbled unintelligibly. The horse snickered and bit at his butt.

"No, seriously, what happened. I can help get whatever that is out of your clothes, but I need to know what it is."

"...blueberries," he admitted.

"Good news: Blueberries don't stain too bad." Xion paid for the items, as well as some soap.

"Do you want some help with it?" she offered.

"...yeah... That would be nice." The horse tossed his head and nipped at his back pocket again.

"Go change and meet me by the washroom." Xion went to deliver the produce.

He nodded politely and a little shamefully and used his horse to hide his face some as he led the animal back to its stable and then headed to his dorm to change.

Xion borrowed some vinegar from the kitchen before heading to the washroom. Kishi changed into his spare uniform and brought the dirty clothes to her. Xion took the shirt and left the pants for him before walking in.

"C'mon, let's go."

He looked at the clothes in his hand.

"Um, you're not doing all of it?”

"No, I'm going to teach you how so next time you can do it yourself. The shirt has all the patterning that will be harder to wash.”

"...you can't just do me a favor and do all of it?"

"...yeah, I can do that. Your undergarments aren't in there, are they?"

He stayed quiet for a second before answering, "Would that be a bad thing?"

"...usually yeah?" Was that not a thing for nobles?

"Well, they are in there... You can't just wash those too?"

"...fine..." She made a face before taking the rest of his clothes.

"Thanks Baker, you're the best!" He messed up her hair and then ran off.

"Stop doing that!" She dropped his clothes to fix her hair. Oh well, they'd get washed later. She picked up the now dusty clothes and headed in to start the washing.

* * *

_8/10 - Group Project_

Byleth had called them all into class on Saturday. It was early, and she sat at her desk in front, nodding as each student filed in.

Saturday was usually their day off to do chores so Kishi figured it had to be important. He sat down next to Sylvain and leaned back in his chair. Xion took her usual seat in the front. Ingrid sat next to her with a warm smile.

"Good morning, Ingrid." Xion had swiped a couple sticky buns from the kitchen and offered her one.

The blonde took it gratefully.

Once everyone had arrived, Byleth stood up and addressed the class, "Many of you are studying to become knights, and you're going to find many non-combat duties can be part of that. I've asked some of the knights for help setting up a few situations for you all. Get into groups of three and come see me. This is for a grade."

Sylvain immediately stood up, looking at Xion, but Kishi grabbed him by his belt and jerked him back down.

"Felix, will you pair up with Sylvain?" Kishi asked.

"Ugh, why me?"

"Cause he behaves around you," Kishi growled. He and Felix locked eyes while a clueless Sylvain moved on to try Annie and Mercedes. They were an easier target with Xion sitting by Ingrid.

Xion watched that all happen with a confused grin before turning to Ingrid.

"Do you want to partner up?"

"Oh! That would be great. I'll get our assignment from the Professor, if you want to find us a third?"

"Sure thing." Xion took her sticky bun with her when she stood up.

Kishi and Felix were still arguing but it was coming to an end as Sylvain found a team with the other girls. Felix huffed and went to find his own team leaving Kishi standing by his desk with a sigh. Xion sidled up to Kishi.

"It's Saturday," she observed. He looked under his arm at her.

"And?"

"We always end up running into each other for something. Want to partner up so we at least know what it is?"

He raised an eyebrow and pretended to be annoyed but said, "I guess that makes sense. Alright, let's do it." Xion grinned and went back to her desk.

"Ingrid's getting our assignment."

"Wait, Ingrid is our partner?"

"Uh...yes?"

He shuffled a little anxiously and mumbled, "Oh. Ok, that's cool."

Ingrid came back with their assignment.

"Xion, did you ask Kishi to be our partner?" she said, looking at him with mild disdain.

"Don't start Ingrid," Kishi sighed, "I'm not in the mood."

"Is something going on between you?"

"It's nothing, Xion," Ingrid said firmly.

"If you're going to be bitter and mean to me the whole time then she has a right to know," Kishi said, folding his arms, "Ingrid and I are betrothed to each other."

"That seems like a terrible idea to me if this is how it makes you two act."

"I agree," Ingrid snapped.

"Well, neither of us have a say, so maybe try and get to know me before you write off the idea," Kishi grumbled, "What's our assignment?"

Ingrid checked the papers she was given and reported, "There's a child missing from the village. We're responsible for finding her."

"Alright. How old is she, and how long has she been missing?" Xion asked.

"She's four and she's been missing since early this morning."

"Ok, then how about we all mount up and search the forest around the village?" Kishi offered.

Xion suggested, "Someone should talk to her parents first. Figure out where she usually plays, and we should start our search from there."

Kishi sighed a little bit, "Ok, let's do that then."

"Ingrid, does it say where she lived?"

"In the village at the base of the monastery."

Kishi turned and started walking out of the classroom towards the stables.

"Uh—okay." Xion got up to follow. Ingrid rolled her eyes and followed.

Kishi grabbed Xions arm and pulled her aside when they got to the stables.

"Do you mind? You're the commoner here. Let Ingrid and I work out the strategy."

Xion frowned and pulled her arm away.

"That's bullshit. There's a kid missing, why would you want to limit the pool of ideas?"

"And we're going to find her but maybe don't undermine me in front of someone who already hates me for existing," he hissed.

"I'm not undermining you. It's a group project."

"I gave instructions and you immediately countered them! How is that not undermining?"

"How big is the town? And the forest? You gave a general area; I gave a starting point. That is in that area. That's not countering, that's just making a more precise search."

"This coming from the idiot who shouted mid battle when there were enemies hiding nearby," he growled.

"Do you mind Kishi? We're wasting time," Ingrid said with disappointment. He glared at Xion and then went to get his horse. Xion turned to tack her Pegasus.

"I guess I won't say anything else," she mumbled. Ingrid started tacking up next to her.

"Xion, your idea is a good one. Don't let the insecurities of men keep you from being the best you can be."

"Thanks, Ingrid. But I'm still probably going to be angry for awhile." Xion swung herself up and lead her pegasus out.

Ingrid frowned and stomped over to where the horses were. There was some yelling and then she calmly walked back to where her pegasus was and mounted up. Kishi joined them a few minutes later on his horse. He didn't look happy but was quiet.

"Are we all ready to go?" Xion's pegasus pawed the ground ahead. Ingrid nodded and took off, leading the way out of the monastery. Kishi took up the rear. Xion flew low enough to see into the trees of the forest.

Per Xion's suggestion, Ingrid broke off to talk to the parents to get more information, leaving Kishi waiting outside, still mounted, for instructions. Meanwhile, Xion found where the kids were playing to ask something similar.

Ingrid came back out and gave Kishi instructions to search through town. He nodded politely and trotted off to start asking around.

"Xion, they said she likes to play on the West side of town, by the trees there. Will you start there?" Ingrid asked, flying up alongside her friend. Xion nodded and took off.

"The kids said by the stream,” Xion noted. Ingrid nodded in confirmation and took off towards a flank to cover more ground.

Xion spent a good hour combing the woods before she heard someone crying quietly. The little girl was curled up inside a hollow tree, face buried in her apron, and mud all over her little dress. The Knight to be carefully landed and approached. She crouched by the log.

"Hey. You doing okay, kid?"

The little girl gasped and covered her face in alarm, startled. There were little scratches on her hands and arms from the brush.

"Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. Am I that scary?" Xion asked as she took a seat by the opening. The little girl peeked at Xion through her fingers, the initial shock was gone and she was better able to see Xion. The uniform was a little intimidating but the girl looked at her pegasus in awe.

"Do you want to meet her? She's pretty friendly with girls." Heavens forbid a boy approach a pegasus. She nodded, her tear streaked cheeks glittering a little in the afternoon light.

"She can't really fit in this log. Do you want to come out?"

The girl nodded again and wiped her face on her apron and then clambered out of the tree, reaching for Xion's hand a little anxiously. Xion let her take it.

"You can pet her if you want. But not her wings." The pegasus towered over the girl. She carefully crept forward and pet the pegasus' leg before hiding behind Xion, still peeking out at the steed curiously.

Thundering hooves hit the ground as Kishi ran up. He pulled his horse in but it still pranced excitedly. "Oh you found her," he said. The girl shrieked in fear and buried her face in Xion's back.

Xion turned her back so she could face the girl and comforted her, "Hey, it's okay, he's a friend of mine. I have another friend who also rides a pegasus, we might see her too." Kishi jumped down and headed towards them.

"Ready to get her home?" he asked. The little girl didn't really like Kishi. He was loud but she liked the idea of home.

Xion asked her, "Do you want to walk? Or ride with one of us?" The child clung tightly to Xion in response and then pointed at the pegasus.

"Alright. I'm going to lift you up now, okay?" She moved her hands to the girl's waist and placed her atop the pegasus. The little girl seemed a lot happier on the pegasus. She nervously held onto the saddle and bounced a bit.

"I'll meet you back in the village then," Kishi grumbled. He mounted up and started through the trees.

Xion swung up behind the girl.

"You're going to want to hold on really tight, okay?" The child nodded and made a "mmm!" sound. Xion gently took off and flew back to town. The little girl squealed with delight the whole way.

"Alright, can you see your house from here?" Xion asked. Little fingers pointed at her house and bounced a little in the saddle but quickly grabbed on with both hands again. Xion gently glided down and scanned the town for Kishi and Ingrid.

Kishi wasn't out of the woods yet but Ingrid flew up next to Xion and waved at the little girl before leading the way back to the little girl's house. They landed gently in front of the house.

The girl's parents were waiting there. Mom had tears in her eyes and rushed to get her daughter from the back of the pegasus. The dad was talking to Ingrid thanking them for their help and praising the goddess for sending such fine knights to help them.

Xion dismounted and ruffled the girl's hair. The child shyly waved and leaned her head into her mom's shoulder.

"We can go back to the monastery now," Ingrid let Xion know.

"We should wait for Kishi so we can properly report our assignment." Ingrid frowned.

"He can submit his own report when he manages to get out of the woods."

Xion sighed, "Group Project, group report. I might not know anything about the politics involved, but I don't want to drop my grade because you two are having a spat."

Ingrid seemed surprised.

"Even though he was rude to you earlier?"

"Grades, Ingrid. I don't have to be happy about it, but I have to get along. And I imagine a battle would be the same. You can't let anger make you slip up with your allies. Otherwise you just have regret."

"I guess you're right, Xion. I'm glad you joined our class. To be honest, I don't really know Kishi. I'm just not sure I want to give up my dream or becoming a knight just yet."

"Talk to your parents then. There's no sense being upset with him when he had no choice in the decision either. It's probably better to get him on board. If you are both protesting the proposal, it's that much more likely to be cancelled."

"It's... more complicated than that but thanks."

"Everything is with the nobility. But wouldn't an unstable marriage be more detrimental than none?"

Kishi finally got out of the brambles. He had sticks in his hair and leaves all in his uniform and was leading the horse rather than mounted on it. The horse was happy. It kept trying to eat the weeds that were sticking out of his clothes.

"There you two are. I thought you guys would've headed back by now."

"We were waiting for you," Ingrid said.

He cocked an eyebrow and suspiciously asked, "You were?"

"Yes, we were. Now let’s get back so we can report to the Professor."

Xion mounted again and took off. She took the opportunity to soar much higher than she had on the trip down. The other two were right behind her.

All three of them got their mounts put up in the stables and gave their report to the Professor. With the mission concluded, Kishi stepped out to go study some more but Ingrid caught up to him. They walked off somewhere a little more private to talk.

* * *

_8/17 - Test Taking_

Byleth stood at the front of the classroom.

"Pop quiz," she announced.

Kishi took a deep breath. He studied more than anyone here except maybe Annie. Pop quizzes were simple enough. He spun his pen.

Xion went from digging to frantically searching her pockets and bag. Shit shit shit where did she put that pen— Nothing.

"You have five minutes to prepare and review however you'd like."

She was just about panicking now. She didn't have her pen and it would take more than five minutes to get to her room and back. She dropped her bag after pulling a small candle out and booked it out of the classroom.

Kishi dug around in his bag for his notes and started reviewing. He saw Xion and tilted his head in confusion. When she ran out of the room he raised his hand.

"Professor may I be excused for a moment?" He got up and ran after her without waiting for a response.

She was snapping thin branches and twigs off one of the trees.

"Hey are you ok?" he asked as he came up behind her.

"I need something to write with," came the explanation.

When she had a handful of twigs, she headed back to class and lit the candle. Kishi followed her curiously, watching with amused satisfaction as Xion carefully burned the end of one of the twigs. He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. She didn't burn them very far up the stick, setting each one aside after about a quarter inch turned black.

"You know, I have a spare pen," he said.

"... that's nice." Once they were all burned, she took out her notes to read.

"Would you like to use it?"

"...yes." She didn't look up from her notes.

He went back to his desk, fiddled around in his bag and came back with a quill pen and extra ink. Xion stared at the quill for a moment before moving her makeshift pencils aside.

"Thank you."

"No problem." He went back to his seat to take the quiz.

Byleth called time and passed out the papers. Twenty-five questions, every correct answer was B. She thought it would be easier to grade that way. She collected them after a few minutes when everyone was done and graded them quickly while her students were here.

Kishi got 21/25. He was pleased with himself. Xion got an 18. Nothing special.

Xion returned Kishi's pen as they were excused.

"Did you do ok?" he asked her. The spare pen went back in his bag.

"Decently? Not outstanding, but not badly. You?"

"Well enough," he admitted.

Xion looked around to gauge how the rest of the class reacted. Most of them seemed to pass. Annie was upset that she missed one question.

"I think Byleth's just good at teaching."

"We have a class over overachievers too." He packed up and headed out to train. Xion put the charcoal sticks in her bag before heading to the library to study.

* * *

_8/24 - Higher Places_

It was a very windy day and Xion sat on top of the cathedral's gate, eyes closed.

Kishi was on his way back from the cathedral. Edelgard had wanted to talk to him and he walked away from that meeting somewhat confused. He almost didn't notice Xion until he was right underneath her and when he did notice her, Kishi was in protective knight mode.

"X-Xion?! What are you doing up there?!"

Xion cracked her eyes open and looked down.

"...is that a trick question? I'm sitting."

"Don't be smart! You shouldn't be up there!"

"I'm not hurting anything."

"Are you stuck!? Let me come get you!" He wasn't sure if he should wait and try to catch her if she fell or not.

"Please don't, I like it up here. Isn't this better than the wall at three in the morning?"

"No! It's windy and you could hurt yourself!"

"I'm not in any danger. The wall's thick."

"It's windy!" He repeated, "and you are tiny!"

"It's windy on a pegasus too."

He thought about that for a second. Feeling progressively more embarrassed. Why did he even care that much? He stared at her while his mind processed that point.

"...Fair." He turned and kept walking back to his dorm.

Xion called after him, "Thanks for using my name, though!"

* * *

_8/31 - Tower of the Black Winds_

Byleth had the class meet in the entrance hall, away from the rain. They didn't wait long until Byleth had them march. Their orders this month were to shut down a crew of bandits.

Kishi was talking with Ingrid and Sylvain off to the side. There was an air of tension, but Sylvain seemed more cavalier than usual.

Xion stood next to her pegasus. She didn't know where exactly they were going, just that it was in the Kingdom. She may like rain, but it created dangerous conditions on the battlefield. Xion's pegasus kept shaking out its wings and drenching her.

Sylvain stayed up front with Dimitri and the Professor. They were talking in hushed tones. Kishi fell back to give them some space. He was staying near Ingrid and Xion who were quiet until they arrived. Kishi didn't mind the rain but it wasn't a great addition to what they were doing.

Gilbert met them near the tower where they were gathered in the tower to take on the bandits.

Xion mounted up. Byleth told her and Ingrid to fly ahead to draw enemies toward the rest. Kishi stopped Ingrid briefly.

"Be careful," he told her, "You too, Baker."

"You called me Xion last time, go back to that." She did flash a brief thumbs up at him but he was already focused on the battalion he had with him, giving them orders. Only a few of them had been given battalions to lead. Xion was not one of them.

She flew far ahead of their group until an arrow came out of nowhere, firing at her. Xion dodged last minute before charging the archer. He was firing from a higher floor through tight slotted windows. He panicked when Xion got close and backed up out of range.

She turned and circled back to get Ashe or Annette to the window. Kishi and his battalion passed her along the outer wall as she turned around. Sylvain was with him. They rushed a few bandit reinforcements together.

Suddenly, a couple thieves tried to come up behind Kishi and the rest of the class but Gilbert turned around to handle them calling out for the others to keep moving.

Xion flew ahead again, rounding the corner. Ingrid was right behind her, tagteaming the tougher, more heavily armored enemies until the others could catch up. For a while, the two fliers just held the corner together for a bit.

Kishi and Sylvain caught up eventually with Dimitri and Dedue on their tails. They passed the pegasi and surged into the next group. It went like that for a while. Xion and Ingrid would fly ahead then get passed up by the others in their group.

Eventually, they rounded a corner and Miklan was waiting for them.

Xion didn't know him and she didn't know Sylvain well enough to see him in Miklan's face. She waited for the Professor's instructions.

Kishi and Ingrid were both focused on Sylvain but he seemed pretty relaxed and nonchalant about the whole thing, despite the clear family resemblance. His attitude made Kishi more wary of Sylvain than the red head’s older brother. Their horses shifted restlessly at the awkward stand off until Sylvain’s finally took off without orders. Kishi quickly rushed after him to back him up.

Xion was quickly commanded to switch to a hand axe and support the three ahead. Byleth instructed the rest of the class to help surround Miklan in the meantime.

Sylvain and Kishi clashed with him. A two vs one duel. The relic in the bandit leader’s hand was proving to be exceptionally powerful especially with Miklan’s pent up rage and hate but Kishi and Sylvain managed to hurt him enough for him to stagger back. He growled at them, but the Lance of Ruin was starting to react funny and he suddenly let out a gutteral howl as tendrils raced from the heart stone to consume the pretender.

For a moment, Xion froze and was somewhere else and it wasn't Miklan being overtaken. But the moment passed and Xion tightened her grip on her axe and followed the class down a level to regroup. She stayed near the stairs to make sure everyone got out.

Kishi didn't retreat right away. He and Sylvain were still right next to the monster as it screeched. It took them an extra few precious moments to mount up and run away.

Kishi regrouped with his battalion and moved back up to the front, per Byleth’s orders, but he was scared. It was evident in his eyes even if he was able to act like he was fearless.

Xion was a bit farther back than those with battalions but when Byleth gave the order to advance, she didn't hesitate. She flew in and around to leave room for the other students, axe singing as she attacked and a crest flashed behind her. Her pegasus danced around behind the beast, she was trying to bring down its barrier magic.

Meanwhile, Kishi was attacking the monster from the front and getting concerned. His horse narrowly avoided being decapitated as the battalion poked and prodded at the monster to hold it in place while others attacked.

Another battalion hit the beast hard enough to confuse it and it stumbled uncomfortably. Dedue and Dimitri moved in then as it thrashed. Several soldiers went flying but it soon went down.

Xion was fast to dismount. In the beast's place was Miklan again. She wasn't sure if he was dead or just unconscious. She wasn't sure she wanted to find out. She sat down. She felt dizzy and didn't want to fall over.

Sylvain moved up to check the body but Kishi put a hand on his shoulder to stop him, letting the Professor take over. Byleth knelt down to collect the lance before asking Sylvain if he needed anything.

Sylvain shrugged the Professor off, talking about how his brother deserved it. Content to not push the issue, Byleth had them move out.


	5. Horsebow Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:  
> -Drawing  
> -Cooking Duty  
> -Search!  
> -Rumors of a Reaper

_9/7 - Drawing_

Xion had been somewhat distant the week since the tower. Distracted. Even when Byleth was looking for clues to Flayn's location, she couldn't add much to the conversation and now she was sitting in the courtyard, scribbling with the charcoal pencils she made the day she forgot her pen. She was absorbed in her sketch.

Kishi was stressed. Flayn wasn't a close friend but the whole monastery was stressed so he was too. He was helping search out of principle when he saw Xion. It was Saturday so he wasn’t surprised. He came up behind her and watched her draw.

It was a monster, not too different from the one they fought. This one had wings and a stone mask. The sketch was messy, charcoal smeared in some places.

"What are you drawing?" he asked loudly.

"Nothing!" She tore the sheet out and crumpled the paper.

"Aw, Baker, that was good!"

"How long were you watching?" She hid the book behind her back. He reached down to take it from her. Xion tried to keep it out of his grasp. Unfortunately, she had shorter arms and he started out behind her so it wasn't hard to grab.

"Awhile."

"Give it back!"

He studied the look on her face carefully. She was really upset by this. He tilted his head and frowned; the playfulness gone. Slowly, he offered it back. Xion snatched the book and held it tightly to her chest and he awkwardly scratched his arm.

"You shouldn't have seen that… I shouldn't have been drawing that. What are the odds you can forget whatever you saw?"

"Why are you so bothered that I saw?"

"I can't talk about it. It has to do with the...secret school."

He watched her a bit before answering, "Ok."

"Just...please forget. It's safer if you do." She was hunched over the book now.

"Alright Baker." He put his hands in his pockets and walked away.

Xion sighed and made sure there was no one else around before flipping through the book and returning it to her room.

* * *

_9/14 - Cooking Duty_

Xion tied an apron behind her back and rolled up her sleeves.

Kishi was a little late. He had traded jobs with Annie last minute. Cooking for laundry. He didn't have a clue how to do laundry and didn't care to learn. At least cooking was easy. He ran into the kitchen, panting some.

"Sorry I'm late!... Baker? ...I guess it is Saturday."

"Huh? Oh, yeah... isn't Annette supposed to be helping?" Xion was a little grateful. Annette was known to burn things on a good day.

"She's doing laundry," he said as he grabbed another apron.

"Alright. Dinner tonight was going to be pork buns, apple turnovers, and steamed vegetables. What part do you want to work on?" She started getting ingredients out of the pantry—no rats this time.

"Um..." He stood there dumbly.

"The meat buns are probably easier."

He went into the pantry.

"Um..."

Xion retrieved the slab of raw pork belly she'd purchased earlier that day.

"Cut this into pieces as small as you can manage," she ordered.

He could do that. Fancy cooking was so foreign, but he could slice and dice his way around a quick field meal.

Xion threw a quick wrapping dough together and rolled out circles before making a spice blend.

"When it's all cut up, mix the spices in."

He spun the knife occasionally and cut fast, adding the spices as he went, and then he sorted everything into little portions.

"Place a little on each dough circle and pinch it closed."

Xion started on the puff pastry while she gave directions.

He used the knife to move little piles of meat into the dough and then started sealing them. Once he knew what to do, he was very efficient at it.

"Can you cut the apples for me?" she asked. Puff pastry took a lot of rolling.

"Sure." He finished getting the buns set aside into cute little rows waiting to go in the oven and then moved the big crate of apples over to his cutting space to get started.

Xion cut the puff pastry into little rectangles.

"Again, the smaller you can dice them the better." Brown sugar, cinnamon, and cloves got mixed in a bowl.

"You got it." Soon he had a neat pile of finely diced apples. Xion pointed to the bowl of sugar.

"Combine them." He scooped all the apple pieces into the bowl and started folding it all together.

"Alright. You can put the buns in the oven, I'll finish up the pastries."

Kishi lightly tossed the buns onto a large paddle and slid them deep in the oven to cook. Then he came up beside her to help seal the pastries.

"Thanks. Puff pastry's pretty delicate, so don't pinch too hard," Xion cautioned.

"I got it." He gently folded them and then moved the neat pastries over to the paddle. Xion chopped the vegetables when that was done.

With basic prep completed, Kishi focused on the oven. The big brick oven had to be kept warm, so he moved to stoke the fire. It was a lot hotter this close to the oven. He took off his uniform jacket and set it aside as he added fuel to the fire. Moments like this he was super grateful that he typically kept his hair pulled back in a low ponytail. Last thing he needed was a head full of fire. He shifted some coals around and then closed the hatch to keep the heat in under the bricks.

She arranged the vegetables in a steamer basket before joining Kishi watching the oven.

_ How scandalous _ , Xion joked to herself. This was the only time she could recall Kishi not being in full uniform or armor.

"If you want to gather the class instead of staying in the kitchen with me, these should be done in about ten minutes," she offered.

"It's Saturday. They'll show up when they want. I'm sure the full-time kitchen staff will be able to keep it warm for people."

"Alright. Do you want to stay?"

"I took my jacket off. I'm committed now."

"What, don't want anyone to see you as less than professional ever?"

"What? No, I was making a joke." He frowned a little with some shame and considered putting the jacket back on.

"So was I. Not all my humor is puns."

"Well I guess neither of us are very funny." He put his jacket back on regardless of the heat. He used a smaller paddle to shift the buns and pastries around.

"Did you hear my joke about the sky?" Xion asked.

"No."

"Nevermind, it's over your head." It really was, Kishi didn’t get the joke and took her statement seriously. Kishi was miserable in full uniform like this. He was hot, sweaty, and getting more irritable but the food was almost done.

Xion added more water to the steaming basket. Not long after, she grabbed the paddle to start removing the buns and pastries. Kishi called over the main kitchen staff who helped them get the food into individual plates and portions to serve. Satisfied, he took some food and excused himself.

Xion took a plate to the dining hall.

* * *

_9/21 - Search!_

The monastery had been on high alert all month and Kishi was half-heartedly helping. It didn't feel very knightly to brush off the search but by this point he couldn't be sure she was going to be found at all. He put his hands in his pockets and wandered aimlessly, occasionally poking his head behind barrels.

Xion had a notebook out and was scribbling as she walked, looking up occasionally so she didn't run into anything. What she was writing varied from 'not here' notes to lines of logic for where she might be.

Kishi came around a tight corner and slammed right into Xion. She fell backwards and dropped her book. He caught her at least. The book was claimed by the ground but he managed to keep her from falling by wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Shit, wh—ah. Kishi. Guess it's Saturday again."

"Baker," he acknowledged simply. She picked the book up and dusted it off before flipping it back open.

"If you keep that up I'll go back to calling you Rowe."

He wrinkled his nose at the thought.

"Sorry... What were you doing?"

"Searching for Flayn. You?"

"Same." He put his hands back in his pockets and continued, "We might as well walk together since the Goddess seems to want us together."

"Sure. Where have you already checked?" Xion asked.

"She's not walking around the monastery."

"She's either not in the monastery, someone is helping her hide, or someone is keeping her locked in."

"She might be dead." He started walking with her.

"Then her body hasn't been hidden in the monastery. It's a warmer time of year, someone would have noticed the smell. And she's not in the pond, I checked." Not that day, but she had gone after something Alois said.

"Could she have been buried somewhere?" Most of the people they passed ignored them but Edelgard waved their direction as she passed. Xion returned Edelgard's wave. Edelgard seemed a little confused when Xion was the one who waved and waved again, this time glaring more pointedly at Kishi. He reluctantly waved back and she walked on, satisfied.

"You see any fresh graves around? It would be better to burn, but that also leaves a heavy smell. She's not a hostage, the church hasn't gotten any demands," she thought out loud and scribbled in her notebook again, "It hasn't rained since she disappeared, so a burial should still be obvious. I'll keep an eye out next time I'm on sky patrol."

"If she was kidnapped, she could be miles away from the monastery."

"She could be and if she is, we probably can't do anything. It's been too long. But if she's still here, she needs to be found sooner rather than later."

"So how long is too long?"

"...kids go missing a lot in Enbarr. That's a big city with lots of people moving in and out all the time. Typically, after two weeks they stop looking. Garreg Mach is small, and only a handful of merchants come and go. Disappearances are still happening in town. If she was taken away, the girls in town should have stopped vanishing as well."

"So, a serial murderer. What if we tried to get kidnapped ourselves?"

"You can't. Only girls have been abducted. We don't know if they've been killed or not."

"So you could be bait," Kishi offered.

"And if it turns out to be more than the two of us can handle?"

"Yeah we should probably grab some of the guys for backup," he half joked.

"Or at least have a healer nearby."

"...We're not actually doing it."

"It's a solid idea, with a little work. As a last resort."

"I wouldn't want to actually put you at risk like that..."

"We're learning to be knights. I think there's risk involved in that."

"I'm not sure the Professor would be ok with the plan."

"Last resort. I'd like to avoid being bait if possible." She turned a page and wrote a few more notes.

They were passing by the stables now. He could see Ingrid and waved at her.

"I'm going to go,” he said, “Don't do anything too out there without backup."

Kishi ran up to Ingrid and started talking to her happily. They had managed to put aside their differences and were trying the friend thing.

Xion went on with the searching and note-taking.

* * *

_9/28 - Rumors of a Reaper_

Xion strapped on her armor as she ran. Byleth had called and she was on edge. She could fight on foot even though in air was preferred.

Kishi had been with Ingrid in the stables when the guard had run up. They quickly slapped on the armor they could and mounted up, meeting up with the Professor near the faculty quarters. Xion met up with them on her way to the stables for her pegasus.

The moment they arrived, Kishi went to Dimitri to get caught up on what they knew. Apparently, they didn't know much. Byleth was acting on a little bit of info and a lot of hunch. Jeritza had also gone missing as had Manuela and the Professor’s hunches were borderline prophetic. It made sense to be prepared.

Xion personally wasn't sure if she trusted Byleth yet, but she did trust her battle instincts. She had to coax her pegasus to go down the passage, though. Ingrid was having similar issues.

The discovery of Manuela and the secret passage was shocking, but Kishi kept it together and stayed focused. Dimitri broke off to care for the Professor and the others headed down into an unexpected labyrinth in pursuit of the lead.

When they finally caught up, Xion and Ingrid had to dismount. All that effort to get the nervous steeds down the tunnel ended up being for naught. There appeared to be many archers, and neither of them wanted to go down. Kishi stayed near Ingrid, helping her keep up and partnering with her.

Byleth had Xion staying close to her, letting Xion finish off most of the enemies she hit. They were told to leave one mage where he was.

Eventually, they managed to get to a final door, but it was jammed shut. Ashe stepped up to pick the lock. Through those doors was the death knight.

Kishi recognized him immediately as did his horse. It pawed the ground in excitement, eager to attack but Kishi held back to wait for orders.

Xion stopped for a moment. This person  _ felt _ dangerous. But her directions were to circle behind and attack from there. Byleth had the entire class using what battalions they could, and those who couldn't attacking cautiously. Kishi advanced with aggressive caution, attacking from the front.

Xion went in with her axe. She got lucky. They weren't great hits with the armor he was wearing, but her crest did activate, giving an extra hit. The Death Knight hit hard, and she urged her pegasus away as soon as she could.

Kishi’s eyes narrowed as he saw her crest flash but now wasn't the time. He rushed at the Death Knight again but an attack from the man had him scuttling backwards, winded.

Byleth whipped out the Sword of the Creator to try and finish him off, but another person in red warped in and away with him.

"No! Not again!" He swung his lance angrily. "Damnit!!"

Xion dismounted and limped over to Flayn.

"Mer-Mercedes, over here!"

Kishi hopped down to help too, noticing the second girl. He moved to help her while Xion helped Flayn. "Monica?" he mumbled under his breath, surprised.

Mercedes didn't have a ton of energy for spells left after the fight, so she focused on getting the two unconscious girls stable.

"They'll need to be taken to the infirmary for proper care. Anyone still injured will also need help there," the priestess reported.

Xion grunted as she lifted Flayn and carried her over to her pegasus. Flayn wasn't small enough to fly with, but it would be easier riding than carrying her. Kishi nodded and scooped up Monica, carrying her out himself.


	6. Wyvern Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:  
> -Cold  
> -Pointed Weapons  
> -Picnic  
> -Stay the Night  
> -Field of the Eagle and Lion

_10/5 - Cold_

Xion was sat shivering in the dining hall at six in the morning. It had been an unexpectedly cold night, driving her inside and leaving her restless. She hadn't gone to sleep at all.

She wasn't the only one up, although it was for different reasons. Kishi was dodging girls. He slipped into the dining hall, quietly closing the door behind him.

Xion looked up from her poor attempt at tea.

"Good morning. What are you doing up so early?" she asked him. He just about jumped out of his skin.

"Baker?!" Kishi’s voice was a couple octaves higher. She took a sip and made a face.

"Rowe." He frowned at her response but didn't dispute it.

"I'm just... Awake now. Why are you awake?"

"Couldn't sleep. Too cold."

"Makes sense. You're from Enbarr."

"Supposedly, cold rooms are supposed to be easier to sleep in. I'm always on edge when a room's too cold," Xion said and then took another sip. On closer inspection, she didn't steep the tea, she just mixed the leaves with hot water.

"Maybe it's a crest thing," he said somewhat coldly. She tightened her grip on the cup.

"That's not actually a thing, is it?"

"I wouldn't know. I don't have one."

"Most of your friends do. I don't know, no one taught me anything about it." Having a crest wasn't exactly something she could lie her way out of.

"You have more status and responsibilities than I do with that crest."

"I don't belong to a noble family and my dad would never force that on me." Even if he knew. "I don't want the damn thing anyway."

Kishi grumbled, "You sound like Sylvain."

"Can't believe I'm saying this, but maybe he's onto something. I only barely know about the drama with his brother, but I can guess."

"You've been hiding it." Kishi wasn’t going to let the subject shift that easily.

"No. I just don't talk about it like I talk about everything else. If I'm hiding my Crest, you're hiding everything about your life." She downed the rest of her tea.

"I'm not hiding anything!"

"That's the point."

The whole conversation was making him angry, but he didn't have time to dispute before Monica caught up. She threw open the doors of the dining hall and sauntered up to a flustered Kishi. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she kissed his cheek.

"We weren't done talking Ki," she pouted. He was too flustered to respond.

"Aren't you engaged?" Xion asked.

Kishi frantically made a 'please don't, just stop talking' gesture but Monica caught on and scowled.

"You're what?"

"Monica, please, can we talk about this somewhere else?"

Xion scratched her arm and looked away. This went from heavy to awkward fast enough to give her whiplash.

Kishi was beyond uncomfortable but he had to get his house in order. He was still mad at Xion but why should he care? She was a weekly interaction, nothing more. He grabbed Monica's hand and dragged her along out of the dining hall.

Xion sighed when he left. She was tired. So tired.

* * *

_10/12 - Pointed Weapons_

Kishi was training alone in the training grounds. It was pretty late and he knew that most people would be heading to bed soon but this was the first time he had been able to get away. Sylvain was helping him out with his girl problem, keeping at least a couple of them away so he could have some peace.

Ingrid was mad at him for trying to talk to her about Monica, Monica was mad at him for not spending more time with her, and Edelgard of all people kept trying to cozy up. He had talked to her a few times but everything she said was over the top friendly and cryptic. He didn't like it and rejected a lot of gifts sent from her way.

Xion wandered into the training grounds. It was late, they would probably be empty— Oh. Guess not. 

_Maybe I shouldn't stay, then. But I need more practice with axes to pass the exam Byleth's pushing for..._ She sighed and knocked on the door that was now behind her.

Startled, Kishi pointed the training sword at her. It took him an extra second to realize it was her. "Almost," he muttered.

"Almost?"

"We almost went a whole Saturday without running into each other." Now that he wasn't alone, he went to grab his shirt and jacket. He hadn't been wearing anything above his waist before then, but it wasn't proper now.

"Must be disappointing." She went over to the weapons rack and tested a few axes for weight.

"Why do you say that?" he asked, concerned.

"I was under the impression that you were still mad at me for not mentioning that I had a crest." She made a few experimental swings.

"I am but I'm sick of all the girls I know being upset with me."

"Annette and Mercedes aren't."

"That I know of." He went back to smacking the dummy. Xion went over to a different dummy.

"I haven't been."

"I thought for sure you were upset after Monica... Well, after Monica."

"Not really. Why would I be?" Xion asked.

"I don't know, you just looked upset."

"Just tired. You aren't the first person to tell me all that. You were pretty mad, and I wasn't feeling great."

"I just don't understand why you aren't more willing to use it."

"It's useful in battle. That's it. But I can't control it, so I don't rely on it."

He grunted in response and focused on beating the dummy.

"Is there some other way I'm supposed to do it?" she asked him.

"Actually move up in the world? Marry a noble or a high ranking knight and use your Crest to do good things for people?"

"I'm already becoming a knight. A crest isn't some miracle that means I'll do great things and as a noble's commoner wife my job would be having kids until one with a crest is born—how does that help people?" Her axe got lodged into the dummy and she had to wrench it out.

"It makes sure that your crest isn't lost," he grumbled. The head of the dummy got smacked off. He rubbed his face. Why was he defending the system so hard? The system was what got him the boot over his brother, but did he even want that? To be a fancy noble running a territory? Being a knight and inheriting Arianrhod was a better thing for him anyway but was that because of the system? Or because he got lucky in his specific situation? The system was why he never got any personal say in his choices. Was he just settling because he wouldn't fight back? If he really wanted to stick it to his parents, he could change classes like Edelgard wanted.

"There are others with the same Crest. Nobles, in fact, one at this school. Bernadetta and I have the same Crest, and as long as I do have kids, there's a chance that it can be passed on and I won't have to give one child special attention for it because there will be no house to inherit." She wasn't sure if she could pass the crest on at all, noble or not. He kept hacking at the dummy, albeit a lot more half-heartedly now.

"Yeah, whatever, it's your life, you can make your own decisions." Kishi’s tone was grumpy now.

"Not always."

"You're a commoner with a crest. You have the freedom to do whatever you want."

"My crest isn't the only problem in my life, and it can't fix the ones I have."

"It's better than having all your decisions made for you."

"That's going to end for you one day. There won't be parents or grandparents giving orders forever."

"No, it will be some Prince or Princess."

"Dimitri seems like a good person. He'll hear you out if there's something you need to say and hopefully, he'll raise his kids the same."

He picked up the pace on his training. Kishi was trying to relax but now he was stressed and confused.

"Want to actually spar instead of using a dummy?"

"Not really," he grumbled. "I probably should go... I'm sure there's someone who's mad at me that I have to deal with."

"Not at this time of night. We're probably the only students up."

"Edelgard and Monica are... Persistent." He hacked the dummy once more and then lowered the training sword.

"I might be able to talk to Edelgard and it if you want. I don't know Monica, though. Why's she so attached? If you don't mind me asking." She was still going strong on her dummy.

"Monica and I used to date, kind of. Our territories were close to each other’s, so we were childhood friends who pretended for a long time and we kept in touch until about four years ago. We just got busy."

"I wish all our problems were so normal."

"Yeah cause everyone's childhood friend comes back from the dead and starts fights with the person you're betrothed to," he sighed, "Monica wants me to swap classes more than anything but I don’t know, she’s just not the same as she used to be."

"I meant just relationship issues but I wouldn't switch to Edelgard's class. Manuela's not a great teacher." And Edelgard is planning something. Xion had no idea what yet.

He shrugged and countered, "What could you possibly have wrong? You don't date, you have a crest, and you're a commoner that got into the Officers Academy. Everything is going your way."

"Hm... maybe I'll tell you after we graduate. Can't hurt me then."

His eyes narrowed a bit and he turned to face her and not the dummy finally.

"If you're keeping a secret that threatens the monastery..."

"...it might. If it does come to that, I'll tell the Professor. I'm on the church's side in it, either way."

He took a threatening, mistrustful step towards her.

"My duty to the Kingdom and the church comes before everything else. That’s what being a Knight means. If you prove to be a threat, I will kill you." The words felt foreign coming from his mouth but even if he didn’t believe he could, it had to be the truth.

"I don't doubt it." She dropped her axe and held up her hands.

He stood there for a second, watching her warily. Then he made a tsk noise, put his hands in his pockets, and started walking away. She picked her axe up and resumed her regimen.

"Hope you figure out your girl trouble." 

* * *

10/19 - Picnic

Xion had two baskets balanced on one arm and a blanket draped over the other as she headed to the gardens. Kishi was staying behind to help Mercedes carry the food.

She set out the blanket and pulled cushions out of the baskets. Sylvain sidled up to Xion, seemingly materializing out of nowhere.

"Hey, why don't you put your cushion next to mine?" he offered.

"...are we really going back to this?" she countered. Cushions weren't assigned anyway.

"Sure! If that's what you want."

"...your average relationship lasts two weeks."

"Because I knew those other girls weren’t the one for me. Turns out I was just waiting for you all this time."

"Keep waiting or move on."

"Hey, I get it break ups are hard but don't worry, I'm the best shoulder to cry on." He put an arm around her shoulders.

"...break ups?" She pulled his arm off.

"Well yeah. You and Kishi right? He's dating Ingrid now. I figured it must have been too rough on you two what with the betrothal and all."

"You thought we were dating? I don't even know if we're friends and I don't date."

"You two were meeting up every Saturday and he never stops talking about you. It was obvious," he laughed, "But that's all done now. Y'know, I don't date either. Maybe we can meet up later to talk about it.”

Kishi punched him. They had just arrived with the food and Kishi had it.

"What did I say about Baker, Sylvain?" he growled.

"Hey, don't worry it was harmless!" the red head tried to defend himself.

"Go help Annette with the rest of the food." Sylvain shrugged and walked off.

Xion sat down. Is that how it looked to everyone? Or was it just more of Sylvain's bull?

He had only caught the end of the conversation, so he wasn't sure how annoying Sylvain had been.

"Just ignore him," he told her, "he's an ass."

"He's better than Ferdinand. Can I ask you something weird?"

"I thought Ferdinand was such a sweetheart," Mercedes said. She was starting to set up little plates on each of the cushions.

"What kind of weird?" Kishi asked. He was distracted helping Mercedes out.

"He means well but he has a habit of looking down on people. Kishi, are we friends?" Xion asked.

"I'm sorry, is this something I shouldn't be here for?" Mercedes asked politely.

"No, Mercedes, it's ok," Kishi assured her, "I mean, we're classmates."

"Okay. It was just something Sylvain said, that got me thinking."

Kishi frowned.

"What did he say?"

"He thought we were going through a breakup."

Mercedes blushed and held a hand up to her face to cover a giggle.

"Oh Kishi, I didn't know you and Xion were dating."

"We're not! We never were! I'd never date her," he told Mercedes all flustered.

"Never, huh?" Xion said, somewhat deadpan.

"Never!" he confirmed. Mercedes looked away embarrassed.

Xion laughed, "Do me a favor and rub off on Sylvain."

He blushed and tucked his head, letting his bangs hide his face. He couldn't tell if he was flattered or offended. Regardless, he was embarrassed.

"Mercedes, will you tell Annie I can't make it? I have some other chores to do," he mumbled.

"You don't want to stay for the picnic?" she asked gently.

"Like I said, chores."

Xion didn't think Byleth had anything assigned right now but didn't pay it any mind.

He avoided eye contact with everyone and got up to leave. The others were showing up as he shrugged past them. Ingrid gave him a concerned look and then chased after him, but the others didn't seem particularly concerned.

Xion watched him go before focusing on the picnic. 

* * *

_10/26 - Stay the Night_

Monica was not the same girl Kishi remembered. Maybe it was the being kidnapped for a year thing, but she was persistent and crazy; not in an off the walls obvious kind of crazy, more the passive aggressive, manipulative, teenage drama x10 kind of crazy. No matter how many times he insisted that he was dating Ingrid, she would find a way to worm into his reasoning and make him feel bad or guilty or angry to make him feel like he chose wrong.

He didn't like it but he was also a teenage boy in school who had never had to make a major decision of his own in his entire life, so he did the logical thing: he ran away. Kishi knew that Monica was orchestrating opportunities to talk to him, and he knew that Ingrid was one funny look away from killing Monica herself and he just wanted them to all get along. So, he avoided his room, the library, the dining hall, etc. but now it was Saturday and he needed to finish studying but he saw them both arguing by the stairs to the upper dorms and panicked. Kishi quickly let himself into the closest dorm room and closed the door behind him.

"Uh. Hello? You could have knocked."  _ What the fuck. _ Xion hoped Sylvain didn't see him come in.

Kishi’s shoulders slumped but he didn't turn around, just slowly let his head fall forward until his forehead tapped the door. Of course it was her room. Why wouldn't it be her room? Goddess why was it her room??? Could they not go one Saturday without an unplanned encounter?

"Sorry."

"Why are you in here?"

"Sorry, I just... hiding..." he said shamefully into the back of the door.

"From what? Also, you're already here, you don't need to stand by the door."

He turned around and looked around her room. Her desk was free, so he shuffled over there and sat in her chair.

"Monica and Ingrid," he said simply.

"Ah. Feel free to stay, then. How long do you think it'll take?" He seemed really deflated.

"I don't know. They just... wait."

"...stay here. Don't go through my stuff." Xion left the room. He sat still on the chair with his study book and notes in his lap, knees together, hair disheveled, uniform wrinkled, bags under his tired eyes, and waited patiently.

Xion came back about ten minutes later with two comforters, a pillow, and a large nightgown.

"I didn't want to guess sizes, so I got the dress kind."

"Um..." He was clearly confused.

"If they're going to wait awhile you might as well not lose any sleep over it." She folded the first comforter in half and laid it out on the floor.

"I can stay here?" he asked softly.

"Yeah? If I wanted you gone I'd have already thrown you out." She tossed the nightgown at him. He dropped his books to catch it.

"Um, thanks..." He started talking his uniform off. Xion turned to look at the wall.

He changed stiffly. The nightgown fit alright, maybe a little on the big side, but it was a dramatic style change to his uniform and he was morbidly embarrassed.

"Ok, you can turn around."

"Fair warning, I talk in my sleep. When I do sleep, that is." She moved a candle from her bedside to the floor.

He was trying to avoid eye contact, as though it would make him invisible. His blush was deep too, but he did his best to shrug it off and politely sat down on the bed she had assembled for him with his books to finish studying.

"You're staying on the actual bed. I'm sleeping on the floor," Xion corrected. Kishi blinked in a confusion as he processed that.

"What? No. This is your room."

“Yes, and I'm going to be a good host."

"Letting me stay here is already enough."

"I'm not likely going to sleep anyway."

"Please, let me sleep on the floor," he insisted.

"Fine. I won't fight you on it." She moved the candle back up to her bedside table.

He sat cross-legged and folded his uniform up carefully to tuck under the foot of the comforter and then resumed reading.

"Thanks, Xion."

"It's Saturday anyway."

He smiled a little, grateful that his back was to her, and said, "So it is."

Xion grabbed a book and pencil off her desk before returning to her bed, flipping to a random page, and starting a sketch.

Eventually, he started to fall asleep sitting up. He caught himself when his head dipped and finally put the book away, laying down to sleep. Kishi didn't snore or shift much in his sleep.

When he laid down, Xion put out the candelabra and lit the single candle by her bed. She didn't go to sleep that night. She did carefully tear out some of the sketches and pin them to the wall, but most of them stayed in the book, as always.

Kishi was an early riser and moved quietly. Even when he noticed she was awake and he was still haggard from waking up on the floor, he did his best to be polite. Kishi quietly folded up the blankets and stacked them neatly next to the bed and then threw his uniform jacket and shirt over his shoulder. "Thanks again."

"Anytime. Really, I'll keep the blankets here." It was Sunday now. She switched from sketching to studying.

He nodded politely and headed out, pulling on his pants and balancing his books under his chin as he went. The door closed with a gentle click and Kishi looked up. Sylvain was looking at him in shock from a few doors down. They studied each other for a second until Sylvain flashed him a thumbs up. Flustered, Kishi booked it to his own room to finish changing.

Xion headed to class a few minutes later.

* * *

10/27 - Field of the Eagle and Lion

Xion hadn't passed her Wyvern exam that morning, but Byleth still believed she was a good choice for today's mock battle. She adjusted the stirrups on the saddle a bit as she prepared for the battle to be announced.

Kishi was waiting on the edge of the group, settled uncomfortably on his horse beside Ingrid and Ashe. The pomp and circumstance of the mock battle was a bigger deal for nobles than commoners. Kishi’s own grandfather would no doubt hear about the battle later so he was a bit worried.

Xion was on Ingrid's other side. The two of them were supposed to charge the Empire's ranks while avoiding the hill and ballista. Claude's class had too many archers. She was mostly excited. To hear the academy talk, it was a bit of a rite of passage for knights. She perked up a bit at the sound of horns. Or were they trumpets?

The trumpets definitely meant go. Kishi’s horse knew them well and surged forward without waiting for a command. Xion and Ingrid took off not long after.

"Dibs on Ferdinand!"

"It's not a game, Baker! Don't do anything stupid!" Kishi scolded. She just grinned and hefted her axe with a battle cry. He turned to Ingrid as Xion passed them by.

"Please don't let her do anything that makes us lose." He turned and pushed a different direction to take the flank.

Xion knew what she was doing. Had Kishi actually stayed for the strategy picnic he'd know that.

Sure enough, not being a part of the meeting put Kishi at a disadvantage. He was cornered by Caspar and Dorothea and was struggling to get out.

After dealing with Ferdinand, Xion circled back to come at Dorothea. For whatever reason, mages had trouble with pegasi. Something to do with the feathers; and the other reason Xion and Ingrid were on the Empire flank.

The help was nice but a little too late. Kishi was knocked off his horse by a spell and knocked out by Caspar who was crouched down by him to make sure he was ok.

Xion swung at Caspar as soon as he was up. Ingrid “finished off” Dorothea.

Ingrid hopped off the pegasus to check on Kishi. She undid his armor a bit to loosen it on his chest and checked for a pulse.

"He'll be ok but he's out for the fight." She tried lifting him, but he was pretty heavy with his armor on and she wasn't willing to waste a lot of time on him. Winning the fight was important and she knew Kishi would be upset if they lost because of him.

"Come on Xion. We can come back for him after we win."

"Of course. Hubert, then Ferdinand, right?" She switched to a hand axe.

She mounted back up and took off, saying, "Let's tag team Hubert. He's pretty strong." Xion nodded and flew off.

Hubert barely knew what hit him. He went down fast when they both rushed in. Meanwhile, Ashe, Dedue, and Dimitri were able to successfully take over the hill as Sylvain, Felix, Annie, and Mercedes pushed the Deer. The Professor moved up to the top of the hill to better give directions. Now that the ballista was theirs, Xion and Ingrid were free to zip around the battlefield.

Most of the battle was smooth sailing. The Blue Lions were much better prepared than the other classes. Felix took a pretty solid hit but was able to keep fighting. Dedue also got banged up, but not bad enough to warrant a retreat. Soon only Edelgard and Claude were left, and Claude just shrugged and surrendered but the noble Imperial Princess wanted the fight.

Edelgard really was tough to take down. Well, until Dimitri and Byleth arrived. Xion had avoided the Imperial princess for most of the battle, but she did hurl an axe her way towards the end.

Victory! The Professor met with the class leaders on the hill to talk while the others cleaned up and tended to any bruises. Ingrid borrowed Dedue and Caspar to go get Kishi and Xion helped ferry the lighter people on her pegasus.

Caspar had hit Kishi hard. When they regrouped, the silver-haired noble was still out and tied onto his horse. Ingrid was walking with him to make sure he didn't fall off. To be fair, Hubert was also out of it.

The really hurt students all ended up in a couple carriages while everyone else walked or rode back to Garreg Mach.


	7. Red Wolf Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:  
> -Pets  
> -Weeding Duty  
> -Gift Exchange  
> -The Flame in the Darkness

_ 11/9 - Pets _

Kishi was hiding. News had gotten back to his grandfather that he had passed out and missed almost the entire Battle; a big, landmark battle like that and he had done a horrible job. The only one from his class to pass out and right at the beginning of the fight no less. He felt awful. Monica was trying to provide comfort. Ingrid at least understood he wanted space and gave it. So, he was hiding in the stables napping in his horse’s stall while the animal was eating.

Xion was heading in to see her pegasus. She'd missed the test again, though not by much. She wasn't going to have much longer with him but on her way, she noticed an open stall. She went to close it before she realized Kishi was sleeping inside. With his horse. That didn't seem safe.

"Hey. There are better places to take a nap than on the ground, you know."

The horse stomped restlessly with her in its space, waking Kishi up. He sat up and reached out to calm him.

"Easy... I'm here. What's... Oh. It must be Saturday."

"Yep. Do you need some help? Need to hide in my room again?" she asked.

"I... No. It's ok. I'm good here."

"Mind if I join you for a bit?"

"Depends. Are you here to judge me?" he asked with a grumble.

"For what? I'm here so the universe doesn't feel the need to push us together again later."

"Yeah, I'll admit I'm not a huge fan of the Goddess's sense of humor." He pulled a knee up to rest his arm on it.

"So...is that a yes or no?"

"Yeah you can stay."

She swung herself up so she was sitting on the wall of the stall.

"What's your horse's name?"

"Saladin," he said. The horse’s ears twisted in response to his name.

"Does it mean anything?"

"Don't know. My grandfather picked it."

"He's well-behaved, at least."

"This is the same horse that threw me so he could eat all those blueberries that made him sick."

Xion laughed, "Maybe not then."

"He’s an ass but he's brave and likes being in fights. He should be strong enough for Great Knight armor too."

"Is that what you're aiming for? Great knight?"

"It’s what my grandfather wants so yeah."

"Then I wonder why the Professor hasn't switched you to an axe yet."

"She's tried," he grumbled, "I have one I just... Don't use it..."

"Isn't the axe a huge part of the test? And you're always heckling me for not using my free time to study."

"I'm working on it in private," Kishi grumbled, "but that's such a long way off, I don't want to think about it just yet."

"Guess we're different in that respect. How long have you been riding Saladin?"

"Five years now. Grandfather made me be the one to break him when he was a colt."

"...I don't know what that means but I guess he's spent most of his life with you, then."

"His whole life," Kishi confirmed. He fiddled with some of the hay he was sitting on.

"Can I touch him?" she asked.

"Yeah. Just punch him if he tries to bite."

"I don't think punching a horse will end very well."

She carefully reached up to stroke his neck. The horse mostly ignored her and kept munching on his food in the bucket tied to the wall.

"He's got to learn somehow," Kishi said with a shrug. He got up and reached around to the ledge outside the stall to grab a stiff bristle brush and started grooming him.

"You can't do anything like that to a pegasus. Half their bones are hollow and break easily and punching a Wyvern will definitely get you bit and you don't want that."

"War horses like Saladin are meant to break the line. They're tough enough to ram through shields. You’re more likely to break your fingers than him. The punch just tells him you don't like what's he doing, and he stops."

"So well-trained but he doesn't always care."

"The nice word for it is spirited."

"Ah, and here I was using Vanitas as a comparison."

Kishi snorted, "You're comparing your brother to my horse?"

"Not necessarily well-behaved despite knowing better. At least your horse isn't an ass, though."

"Saladin is absolutely an ass. He has his moments where his attitude gets ahead of his better judgement and I have to play it off." He swapped to a comb to get the tangles out of his mane.

"Van once replaced Ven's toothpaste with glue. That's how Ventus lost his baby teeth."

Kishi snorted his way through a laugh.

"That's pretty great... Why don't you talk about your brothers more?" he asked.

"Conversation just doesn't go that way. If you want to know, my brothers all gave their pets horrible names. Three cats and an owl."

"An owl?"

"Vanitas has an owl that thinks it's a bloodhound named Darkling."

He looked at her over the horse's back.

"I'm not sure if I'd like your brother," Kishi speculated aloud.

"Very few people do. They like Ven and Sora better."

"Tell me about them?" he asked softly. Having company was nice while he did his chores.

"Well...Ventus and Vanitas are twins. They're seven years older than myself, Sora, and Roxas. We're triplets. Ven is kind to a fault. If you asked for a glass of water, he'd go home and make a pitcher of lemonade. Kinda quiet, sometimes but always smiling. His cat's named Unversed, he's orange. Vanitas is...Vanitas. He left home about a year before I started school and leads a mercenary band named after Ven's cat. They specialize in monster hunting. He still sends messages twice a month via his owl. Sora likes to brag about being the oldest of the triplets. He's friendly, but unlike Ven he's really outgoing. Knows everyone in the city. His cat's black and named Heartless. And Roxas..." She trailed off for a minute before continuing, "Roxas wanted to be a knight. He wasn't super friendly, but he wasn't a cactus like Van. His cat's grey and named Nobody."

"So why isn't Roxas here?"

She looked away and scratched her arm.

"There was...an accident. He doesn't remember anything before it. And he can't see."

Kishi took a deep breath through his nose before responding, "I see... what does Sora do?"

"Don't know. Last I saw him was three years ago, we were thirteen. But he'll probably help Ven with the bakery. Maybe he'll marry the blacksmith's daughter. He had a huge crush on her."

"What about your parents?"

"I don't know my mom. Van and Ven remember her. Dad's great, though he's got a one track mind. 'You're happy? You're not hurting anyone? Good,'" she pretended.

"So he really doesn't have any expectations for you?"

"He has five kids. As long as one of them keeps the bakery running, why bother? He's happy where he is in life."

"Most commoner parents with crest kids try to use that crest to accrue wealth somehow."

"We aren't exactly poor. It's an old, well-known bakery in one of the nicest parts of the city. We supply most of the courtiers. I used to frost the cakes whenever they had parties."

"I'll take your word for it."

"What about your brother?"

He tensed up some and responded slowly, "What about my brother?"

"What's he like?"

Kishi was quiet while he thought about what to say.

"He's perfect. Has a crest, is naturally gifted, never takes him long to master something."

"Bet he's not as much help in the kitchen as you."

"He's a good cook. Honestly, I'm surprised my parents had a second kid."

"Then I bet he's arrogant. Most gifted kids are."

"Humble to a fault," he grumbled. "If my brother has any drawbacks then he's the only one who knows about them."

"You've said you're not close?"

"We're not. We probably could have been, but I was sent to live with my Grandfather."

"Well then, I know three people who are better brothers than he is."

"I don't blame him. Riku is a good man. It's our parents who sent me away for not being good enough."

"Well then I have a dad who has a habit of parenting anyone younger than him. Stop by someday after we graduate, maybe he'll adopt you," Xion offered.

"I don't want to sound ungrateful... My grandfather is a good man too."

"You say that like you're not."

"I'm not what?"

"A good man. You say that about your brother and grandfather but not yourself."

"I'm trying but I can never be what they are." His tone was somewhat sad.

"You don't have to be like them to be good. There are lots of ways to be good."

"Well, it's my responsibility to be like them."

"No, it's not. You're supposed to take Arianrhod, right? Your responsibility is to run it well. Not necessarily the exact same way."

"I don't expect you to understand Baker," he grumbled, "leading Arianrhod means being the epitome of a knight like my Grandfather is."

"I still don't think it means you have to be exactly the same, but you're right, I don't understand."

Xion slid off the rail of the stall and stretched. "I'm going to go take care of my pegasus. If people don't understand, it's on you to figure it out."

"It always was," he sighed sadly.

"It's okay to ask for help, though." She closed the door behind her.

* * *

_ 11/16 - Weeding Duty _

Xion had started her chores at just passed dawn, before the sun could come cook her. Which meant she was currently out in her lounge wear and thick gloves half-covered in mud.

Kishi was sleepily pulling his gloves on when he noticed her.

"Did you lose a bet?" he asked her.

"No? Why, what makes you say that?"

"Just didn't think I'd see you on weeding duty."

"Me either, but here I am."

He made a resigned grunting sound and got down on his hands and knees to start pulling. Xion was digging out a rather stubborn weed.

"Maybe next time Byleth isn't feeling great you'll accidentally end up on sky patrol," she teased.

"Wouldn't be my first time flying," he grunted, "You might be disappointed when I don't fall off."

"It's not my first time weeding, either. Why would I want you to fall?"

"I don't know, I'm tired."

"You could have slept longer," Xion offered.

"Not enough hours in the day to sleep in and still get everything done." He knew where the rough patches of weeds were and focused on those.

"That's true."

She tossed the weed in a bucket. They worked in silence for awhile. Kishi was used to this chore so he was able to move quickly and efficiently.

Xion hadn't done this much weeding before and was struggling some.

"Do you need help with that patch?" Kishi asked, when he noticed her struggle.

"A little help would be appreciated, yeah."

He shifted over to help her with hers.

Xion mumbled, "Thanks."

"Now we're even."

"Even?"

"You helped me on kitchen duty."

"How many months ago was that? And I didn't think you owed me for it."

"A knight repays his debts," Kishi insisted.

"Are you going to expect everyone you help to owe you a favor? Because I was just helping. No debt attached."

He blinked a little in surprise before saying, "I just don't know where we stand so I don't want any lingering, I don't know... sense of obligation."

"Because we need that on top of the Saturday curse," Xion grumbled.

"Maybe an uneven score is why we're cursed."

"But this started before we did anything to each other."

"Maybe we met without knowing it," he offered.

"I don't think so. Has your hair always been white?"

"Yeah it has...that's a weird question."

"Then no, I don't think I've met you before."

"You don't know any other white haired people?" Kishi asked. He was always a little sensitive about his hair color.

"I do, but their names are Lysithea and Edelgard… and a few others I know but you aren't one of them."

"Then maybe the Goddess cursed us as a joke."

"Maybe she needed something to gossip about."

"To what end?" he wondered aloud. She shrugged and dumped a handful of weeds in the bucket.

He started to laugh, adding, "Maybe I'm supposed to marry you."

"And yet you said we'd never date." She grinned.

"Wow, the Goddess wants us to skip a step."

"How scandalous."

"I hope the Goddess knows it would never work." His tone was less playful now as he focused on the weeds again. She turned back to the patch as well.

"Guess she'll have to settle on us being friends, then."

"So we are friends?"

"I think so. Are we?"

"I think so." He got up with his full bucket of weeds.

"It's nice to have a friend, then." She pulled a few more weeds, before getting up.

"Likewise." He reached out for her bucket but changed his mind.

"I'll see you in class," Kishi said.

"See you there, Kishi." Xion took a minute to brush the dirt off. He waved at her and then took his bucket to composting.

* * *

_ 11/23 - Gift Exchange _

Byleth called her class together in the late evening, just after dinner. They didn’t typically have class on Saturdays but today was a special occasion.

Xion sat in her usual seat at the front of the class, sketchbook and pencil on the table. Kishi was in a happy food coma mood. He and Ingrid sat together while the rest of the class filtered in.

The Professor pulled a drawstring bag out from behind her desk.

"Everyone pick a name out of this bag. Check to make sure it's not your own, but don't tell anyone else who it is."

Xion sighed and got up to draw a name from the bag. It was Kishi. That figured, it was Saturday. She went back to her seat to wait for instructions.

Everyone took their turns, Kishi politely let Ingrid go first and then grabbed his. He got Xion.  _ Don't know why I looked _ , he thought to himself.

"By the day before the ball next month, you all are to have a gift for this person. The gift may not cost more than one hundred gold."

Xion balked at the price. That's what she got to spend on herself in a month, and it would all be going to this. Oh well.  _ Not like I'm saving up for anything _ , she thought.

Kishi looked around the room in mild confusion. The two giggly girls in the back of the room were super excited. Dimitri was verbally expressing his joy at the idea and Sylvain was already trying to trade names.

"This is not for a grade, but you are still encouraged to put effort into your gift. The other classes are also doing gift exchanges," Byleth added, "You'll have opportunities to give little smaller gifts until the ball. You can tell other people, but you can't let the person receiving the gifts know it's you."

"Is there a reason why we aren't telling anybody who we have?" Kishi asked.

"It's how this kind of exchange works. The idea is to do good without expecting thanks for it," she clarified.

"So, do we deliver the gifts anonymously too?"

"I've placed cubbies just behind the blackboard so no one can see who you're gifting what, but you'll reveal it the day before the ball." Well, that made it easy but what the heck was Kishi supposed to get Xion?

The rest of the meeting was just questions about the details. Kishi and Ingrid excused themselves quickly, walking off together, once they were excused.

Xion decided she'd track down Ingrid and Ashe to get their opinions on gifts. She got up to follow Ashe as they were dismissed.

"Oh Xion," Ashe greeted outside the classroom when Xion flagged him down, "What can I do for you?"

"You're friends with Kishi, right?" she asked.

"Oh, yes! We grew up together."

"Great. What kinds of things does he like?"

"Huh? Wouldn't you know? You two were dating not too long ago right?" He tilted his head a little as he asked. Xion covered her face in response.

"Oh Goddess, did Sylvain tell people that? No, we didn't. We only just barely figured out we're friends."

"Really? He talked about you a lot, most of us just assumed... Well, I suppose it can't be helped! He likes archery, maybe that will help you."

Wasn't he studying to be a great knight? Xion was sure that’s what he had said. Gifts didn’t have to be practical. It really didn’t matter that much, she reasoned to herself.

"Thanks. Anything else? All he seems to do at the academy is study."

"Well he's trying to chase two dreams, so it makes sense. Hm... I'm not sure what you could get him though. Maybe something for his horse?" Ashe offered.

"Maybe. I'll think of something. Any chance I can help you with your gift?"

"Sylvain should be easy to get gifts for... at least I hope so," Ashe said.

"Ah—yeah, I guess so. Good luck, though. And thanks again." Xion made a few notes in her book before closing it.

"Any time, Xion. Have a good rest of your day."

* * *

_ 11/25 - The Flame in the Darkness _

The students were in the classroom, waiting for Byleth. They were mostly amicable with each other, despite the tense air, and chatted amongst themselves, swapping gossip. There were plenty of rumors flying around the monastery to discuss.

When the Professor finally showed up, she told them to gear up and be ready to march in ten minutes.

Kishi headed to the stables with the other horse people. He and Sylvain were talking and playing around. Boys being boys they were jokingly trying to push each other off their horses.

Xion took a left at the stables. Wyverns couldn't be kept together with the horses or pegasi. She mounted up quickly and rejoined the class to move out.

Remire wasn't far.

The joking stopped the moment the smoke was visible. Kishi and the other mounted units ran ahead bringing information back to the Professor and Dimitri. The village was in chaos, villagers attacking others in a blind rage.

Xion felt her stomach drop when the village came into view. So much fire, everyone was screaming, it was like something out of a nightmare.

Byleth promptly started giving them orders and had them splitting off to rescue what villagers they could. Xion took off over some burning buildings to run down a seemingly possessed villager while Kishi took off up the eastern flank.

Before long, Dimitri noticed Tomas, who revealed himself as Solon. Xion froze a moment at the name. She'd heard it, in hushed, scared tones. She kept fighting, despite the new unease in her gut.

Kishi was too distracted fighting to notice the priest change. His horse had gotten a cut on his flank from a stray axe and Kishi's armor had saved him from an arrow.

The Death Knight towered ahead of Kishi. Ingrid and Mercedes weren't far behind him. His blood ran cold again, and the horse surged a little faster to engage.

“You're not getting away this time!”

He rushed in with a snarl, spinning the lance in his hand as he stabbed at the Death Knight, aiming for that center mass shot. The Knight's attempts to dodge or block failed, and the lance slammed into his chest, shoving the Knight backwards. The horse under him politely backed up, saving the man's life but he wheezed uncomfortably as his saddle shifted. The glowing red eyes met Kishi's in the closeness for a few painfully long moments before Kishi was kicked away by a boot and the Death Knight disappeared, retreating.

"NO! Damn it he got away again!" Kishi snarled.

Byleth called them all to converge on Solon and Kishi reluctantly turned away to regroup.

Xion hung back a moment to close her visor. She'd never met this man, but she couldn't risk being recognized. Maybe it was for the best, but she didn't make it to Solon anyway. Dedue, Dimitri, and the Professor chased him off. Xion immediately took to searching the buildings once Solon retreated.

Kishi was still angry that he lost the knight and was focusing on taking out the extra enemies and rounding up the stragglers.

Ingrid lectured him on being more careful as they returned to the monastery.


	8. Ethereal Moon 1180

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:  
> Decorating  
> Snow  
> Finals  
> The Day Before the Ball  
> The Day of the Ball  
> The Cause of Sorrow

_12/7 - Decorating_

Xion, Ignatz, and Bernadetta were all working on separate parts of a banner. Byleth had taken Xion off Sky Patrol to help make it. She'd dropped a couple of caramel candies in Kishi's cubby that morning as well.

Honestly, were it not for Remire and Solon hanging over her head, Xion would have felt great.

Kishi was in a similar mixed boat. He had gotten a letter from his grandfather praising his work in Remire making the sting of the prior month a bit less painful, but the actual stress of what was happening there made it hard to focus. He was helping hang garlands around the classroom for now, lost in thought.

Xion came back to the classroom while she waited for her section of the banner to dry. She wanted to check her cubby again. She wasn't even surprised to see Kishi today. It was Saturday after all.

She was, however, surprised to see flowers. She pulled one out of the arrangement to tuck behind her ear and decided to come back in the evening for the rest. She moved to sit by Kishi.

"Need some help?" Xion asked.

He tucked a bit of garland over a nail and tossed the bundle over to Ashe who tucked the garland behind the next nail.

"I think we've got it." Kishi looked over at her and did a brief double take.

"The flower is cute," he complimented.

"...Thank you." She looked down a moment before coming back up.

"Why does the classroom need decorating, anyway?"

"Church tradition. I'm sure Seteth knows more," he explained, "We do this around the fort too, but I never bothered to ask why when I was a kid."

"Well, it is pretty, I guess… at least it hasn't snowed."

Kishi responded a little distractedly, "I miss snow. The Kingdom always gets a lot of snow this time of the year and it is cold enough here in the mountains to expect some soon."

"Snow means it's too cold to stay outside for long periods of time."

"No, it doesn't. It makes it more comfortable to fight in heavy armor." The chair he was standing on wiggled a little and he hugged the pillar for balance.

"Some of us don't get to wear layers and layers underneath our armor so that means freezing metal right against your skin and it means more work to prevent rust."

"Well the monastery doesn't get a ton of snow when it does get some." He regained his balance and hopped down to shift over a column.

"Thank the Goddess. Are you sure you don't need help? Or, y'know, want it to make the job easier?"

"We got it, Baker."

"How many times have I asked you to use my name?" she asked.

"Not enough," Kishi retorted. Ashe chuckled a little.

"I'll go back to calling you Rowe again. I really will." Xion knew it was an empty threat. Ashe turned to her to say something but Kishi glared him into silence and he just went back to chuckling and hanging up garlands.

"Just about done," Ashe said instead.

"It looks nice from here," she offered.

"Good," Kishi said as he and Ashe hopped down, "I'll go see if the Professor has anything else, she needs us to do." He bumped fists with Ashe and walked off, leaving Ashe alone with Xion.

"I should get back to painting. The last layer is probably dry enough to work with." Xion stood and headed out as well.

* * *

_12/14 - Snow_

Xion glared balefully at the white flakes coming down outside the classroom after Alois' axe lecture. She knew she had left her bedroom door open, there was no way she was going to sleep tonight and, as it was, her uniform wasn't enough to keep her warm. Xion marched herself down to the greenhouse. It had to be warm year-round, right?

Kishi was out early, standing near the greenhouse and talking to Monica. In the last month she had backed off considerably but was still trying to bond with him. Edelgard was nearby too though she was polite enough to stay out of their conversation.

Xion saw Kishi but didn't say anything she just went inside and shivered as snow melted into her uniform and hair. They were engrossed in their conversation and didn't notice her.

"Monica, I'm serious, you can't keep doing this."

"I just miss being friends with you... Can we just do dinner together? Something as friends?"

"No. I'm done."

He waved his hand dismissively and started heading into the Greenhouse to resume his chores while Monica glared daggers at him. She snorted and crossed her arms.

"You'll regret not choosing me!" she yelled at his back before stomping off.

Xion stood awkwardly inside the door.

"Should I pretend I didn't hear that?" she asked him.

"I don't care," he grumbled after he got over being startled. His hands were shoved in his pockets, shoulders hunched. Xion’s presence was mildly annoying but not unexpected and he was too tired to be upset about it.

"Hey, do you need to talk? Or be distracted?"

"I'm fine, Baker." Aside from the heated nature of the argument, Kishi really did seem ok.

"Getting her off my back was overdue. I don't know what changed but she's... different than the Monica I grew up with and she needs to respect to my choices."

She shrugged and asked, "Do you think Sylvain will make a move on her then?"

"He already has. He's not still harassing you, is he?"

"Not really, but apparently he wasn't the only one who thought we were dating."

"Weird. I don't think he told anyone else that I spent the night in your room...?"

"He saw _that_?!"

"I saw him as I was leaving."

Xion groaned, "Ashe thought we were dating. Said it was obvious and that you were always talking about me. Which I don't quite believe."

His eyes got a little wide for a second and he looked down and away so his bangs and loose hair would hide his blush.

"Yeah. Ridiculous."

She rubbed her arms to try and warm up.

"Unrelated question. What do Fearghus people do when it snows?"

"They wear a lot of furs and eat fatty foods. Here." He offered her his jacket and turned to close the greenhouse doors to keep the heat in. It was Xion’s turn to look down and blush.

"Is that why you have so many meat dishes?" she asked.

"Meat, potatoes, and dairy," he confirmed. He sighed and put the jacket over her shoulders when she didn't take it right away.

"Um—thank you. But won't this drive the rumors more?"

"If you don't want it, give it back."

"I think I'm good. This is warm." She shuffled to put it on properly. The sleeves hung over her hands.

He grunted and then moved around the greenhouse to check on some plants. It wasn't his best subject, but he could at least tell when food was ripe. Xion checked on some of the flowers and pruned ones that were starting to wilt.

"You should buy yourself a fur-lined coat," Kishi told her.

"Don't have the money for that and I didn't need it at home." Her mind traveled to the weapons and paint pots on her dorm room floor. There was no money for a coat this month, or probably the next and the snow might be gone by then.

He just grunted and mumbled, "I'm sure someone has an extra you can borrow for the season then." He brushed dirt off his hands on his pants.

"I'm going to go. Just leave my jacket outside my room when you're done with it."

"I'll do that. Take care, Kishi."

"See you, Baker."

He left her alone in the greenhouse. She stayed there most of the day and returned the coat near sunset.

* * *

_12/21 - Finals_

Xion hadn't slept in three days and not just because of the cold, but because she was cramming. She had absolutely loved the coat she had found in her cubby a few days prior and had worn it every day since. Now she was seated in the classroom and had a pen and parchment ready.

No one else was phased by the cold. They just swapped out for warmer clothes and thrived in it. Kishi was no exception. He felt sharper as a result and was getting ready for Advanced exams. He was one of the first in the class to be tackling them.

Byleth had prepared a general exam for the entire class and individual practicals. The general exam was an essay on playing to strengths and applying said strengths tactically.

Kishi stayed focused the entire time and submitted his essay quickly, exchanging it for his individual exam. That one took longer and those who were wrapping up their general exam were excused while he kept writing away.

Xion took her time with both the general and individual exam, double and triple checking everything from grammar to battlefield positions. She downed her entire cup of tea in one go between exams, grateful that she had brought it along.

Kishi turned his test in and talked to the Professor. Xion was the last to turn her tests in. With the holidays coming up, results wouldn't be posted immediately.

By the time Xion was done, most of the Lions were outside having a snowball fight. She watched from inside the classroom at first before venturing out and making a snowball that looked more like a football. It didn't go very far or hit its target.

Sylvain spotted her attempt and waved.

"Hey, Xion! Come be on our team."

"Leave her alone, Sylvain," Kishi said. He was tired from his test and thus spoke with a grumble, "She's a commoner from Enbarr. No way she'd be comfortable enough in the snow to play." Ashe tackled Kishi from the side and they went down throwing snow at each other.

"There's teams?" she asked.

"Yeah," Sylvain confirmed. "Come be on our team." The red head went down a second later when a massive snowball from Dedue smashed into his head.

"...I think I'll just watch, thanks."

"Told you," Kishi said as he shoved Ashe off and then shoved snow down Ashes back. Xion visibly winced as she witnessed that and pulled her coat tighter. Ingrid managed to get Kishi, exacting revenge for Ashe. They played until everyone was wet and feeling the cold and then headed to get food. Xion was glad to join them at that point.

Kishi and Ingrid sat at the end. In the last month they had gone more public about their relationship and while they weren’t super affectionate in public, Kishi did put an arm around her and lean in whenever they talked more softly to each other.

Xion was excitedly digging into the available cookies.

* * *

_12/24 - The Day Before the Ball_

Xion sat in her usual seat, two large brown packages in her lap. Everyone else filtered in with various items wrapped up. Kishi sat at the desk behind Xion with Ingrid like they usually did.

Xion fiddled a bit with the string tying the paper down until Byleth walked in. The Professor handed out papers, each with two blank lines.

"Write who you had on the first line, and who you think had you on the second. A correct guess is worth fifty extra points on your final exam. Your recipient not guessing correctly is worth one hundred," she told the class.

 _This was worth points???_ Kishi thought. He was a little more panicked now but he did as instructed. He got a bunch of sweets... so it was probably Mercedes. Kishi had traded names with Sylvain at the beginning of the event so he wrote Dimitri's name on the top line and then guessed Mercedes.

Xion wrote Kishi’s name on both lines. As far as she knew, no one other than Kishi knew that she couldn’t afford a coat. It was a logical guess.

Byleth collected the sheets and instructed, "Go ahead and give your gifts now."

Most of them got up and started shuffling about, but Kishi waited his turn for a second. Dimitri was presenting his gift and Kishi didn't want to interrupt. Sylvain was bolder. He sat on Xion’s desk with a sultry, "hey."

"Uh—Hello, Sylvain." She turned her chair toward him a bit.

He offered her the gift without another word. It was wrapped in brown paper and relatively small, about the size of her palm. Xion took it carefully and unwrapped it slowly.

The unwrapped gift was a brass medallion with a raised imprint of the Faerghus lion. The piece was set onto a black leather disc with a wide loop for a cord along the top.

"It's beautiful...what is it, though?" she asked.

"It's a horse brass," Kishi said, he had moved around to where he could see and reached over to grab it from her to look it over.

"You attach it to a horse or mount’s harness or bridle for luck. This is a good quality one too. Good pick Sylvain."

"Yes? Yes! Yes it was." Sylvain didn't know that was what it was, but he played it off. The truth was Kishi had given it to him to give to Xion that morning when Sylvain had predictably picked something inappropriate and self-serving to present. Kishi put the fancy medallion back in her hand and then went to talk to Dimitri.

"Thank you, Sylvain," Xion slipped it in her pocket before standing and saying, "and thank you for the coat. I needed it." She picked up the two loosely wrapped packages and walked after Kishi. Sylvain whined a little but didn't pursue when she left him behind.

Kishi gripped arms with Dimitri, a friendly thank you for the high-quality riding boots. They were talking politely when Xion came up. She waited briefly for them to be done talking and they stopped when she approached.

"Happy Holiday...?" Xion held the packages out to Kishi. He blinked and then took the packages to open them.

One was an axe; one was an unstrung bow. They were both training weapons, though they looked a little sturdier and didn't weigh as much. The handles had little geometric carvings filled with bright paints and lacquered shut.

"Thanks Baker," he said gently.

"Yeah. Hope it's good enough." Xion went back to her seat but he followed her and caught her arm.

"What do you mean you hope it's good enough?" he asked softly and with some concern.

"I didn't really know what to get you. I asked Ashe for help… maybe I should have said 'I hope you like it'."

"I do... Really, this is wonderful. I hope Sylvain wasn’t a disappointment."

She shrugged and said, "He didn't ask me for a date for once. That seems a step in the right direction."

"The brass he gave you, we make them and use them a lot in Arianrhod. All of our horses have them."

"You make them, huh?"

"I've made a couple yeah, but they weren't very good. ...How did you know about the bow?"

"I asked Ashe what you liked."

"Ashe is a good guy," Kishi mused aloud, finding the conversation a bit awkward.

"Yeah, he is. All of you lions are, somehow."

"Well, except Dedue."

"Really? He's never seemed that way to me."

Kishi tried to explain, "He's from Duscur."

"...so?"

"So Duscur dogs don't qualify as people after what they did to our King. Saying all the Blue Lions are good people loops us in with him and I don't think that's fair to the rest of us," he said simply, no hint of joking in his voice. He was raised to genuinely believed that.

"...that doesn't seem right to me."

"You're from Enbarr, I don't expect you to understand and as a tip, just give Dedue space while you're here."

"Won't be much longer anyway." She had no intentions of following that advice.

He blinked a little and responded with surprise, "You're not... You're not staying with Blue Lions?"

"We graduate in two months."

"Right. I guess that makes sense." He tapped on the desk absently and then walked away.

Once everyone had exchanged gifts, conversation drifted to tomorrow's ball.

Xion didn't pay much attention to the conversation, really. She wasn't sure she even wanted to attend. She didn't know how to dance, and the formal uniform wasn't the most comfortable thing to wear.

Kishi contributed where he could but he was pretty sure he already had his date for the ball and while he knew how to dance, he didn't really enjoy it.

Dimitri spoke, "You know... there's no telling where life will take us after we leave here. If only we could find a way to come together again, just like this..."

Dedue added, "A fine notion, your Highness. Perhaps five years from now?"

"Five years from now?" Dimitri questioned, "Ah! That's when Garreg Mach Monastery will be holding its millennium festival."

Kishi listened to the others agree and thought about it for a second as the others voiced their concerns. They were right, Dimitri would be the King by then, most of them would have taken on destined roles, or have jobs, and Kishi would likely have taken his grandfather's place.

"Yeah. No matter what, all of us, no matter where we're at or what we're doing at the time," he told them after a moment’s thought.

"Five years. I think I can make it. That long in the future, it's easier to just not make other plans," Xion contributed. If everything went well, she might have finished what she needed to do.

Even the Professor agreed to the gathering and, after some insistence from the Professor and Mercedes, Dimitri officially committed to the plan.

Xion let out a little smile. Honestly, it felt ... nice, to have something to look forward to. She might not be super close to the Blue Lions, but she'd be lying if she said she wouldn't miss them. Eventually, talk wore down and Xion dismissed herself.

A little while later, Kishi did too.

* * *

_12/25 - The Day of the Ball_

Kishi had gotten dressed early and helped set up the hall with some of the other students. He went outside when they were done and adjusted his formal uniform. His formal wear had more blue trim, fitting of a noble. Most of the noble kids had distinct markers on their formal wear to denote their higher ranks in society.

Xion was wearing her formal outfit and loitering near the doors. She wasn't planning on dancing but there was going to be food. Inside, people were already socializing. She could make out all the house leaders and Byleth on the dance floor. A lot of the people dancing were nobles. She was just glad she managed to dodge Sylvain all day.

Kishi was having less luck dodging his stalker. As the party moved more indoors and escape routes were cut off, Kishi was cornered by Monica again. Despite being there officially with his girlfriend Ingrid, he couldn't exactly say no and risk a scene so he danced with her while she pushed herself close, dancing in such a way that she could whisper in his ear.

Xion saw Monica but didn't really know what to do to help Kishi out. She couldn't exactly go up to Monica and tell her to leave. She ended up asking the musicians if folk songs could be played, only to be turned away. Apparently, the noble students would complain so, she headed to the refreshment table instead.

The longer Kishi danced with Monica the more uncomfortable he looked. She was physically too close to him, hugging him tightly so that he was almost carrying her through dance steps, and it was clear that whatever they were discussing was upsetting him. He looked around for Ingrid, but she was dancing with Ashe and chatting about good books.

"Hey Xion," Sylvain greeted from behind her. He was standing close by.

 _Fuck._ "Hi... Sylvain." Xion didn't want to deal with him tonight and figured she'd kill two birds with one stone as the song started to wind down.

"I'd love to stay and chat but Kishi said he'd show me how to dance so I don't embarrass the class." She made a clumsy curtsy before weaving her way through the dancers. Sylvain just moved on to the next girl with a fleeting pout.

Kishi politely bowed to Monica as they separated at the end of the song. She curtsied, as she was supposed to, and started to step back up to him, ignoring his stiff reluctance but Xion tapped Kishi on the shoulder.

"Hey. Mind if I cut in? I'm trying to get Sylvain off my tail."

Monica got between them with a nasty sneer before Kishi could respond.

"Why do you think he'd want to dance with a nasty peasant?" she spat keeping her voice low as to avoid drawing attention. He looked horribly uncomfortable and mildly fearful.

"Xion, I'd love to," he said quietly, reaching around Monica to take Xion's hand and lead her away from Monica.

Xion waited until they were out of earshot and whispered just in case, "I'll warn you I have no idea how to dance but you looked uncomfortable."

"You can put your feet on mine," he offered, wrapping an arm around her waist and pulling her close. He took her right hand in his left to lead.

"Alright." She stepped up.

"Do you want to talk about it or be distracted?" she asked politely.

He moved a little slower with her weight and had to hold her against himself a little tighter, but he didn't seem to be struggling enough to warrant stopping.

"Thanks," he just said with a strained voice, unsure of what he needed right now. Kishi could feel Sylvain's eyes sizing them up but he didn't care. He was just happy to be away from Monica. Whatever had happened to her in her year away had changed her. She was a different person... her whispers had started polite but turned from violent to seductive to violent again and he was a little afraid of her. More than anything he was grateful to not be in her class despite Edelgard's politeness and continued persistence in trying to recruit him.

When he didn't answer, Xion assumed he wanted to avoid the topic.

"Have you gotten to try the food? Byleth asked me to make a croquembouche," she offered instead.

"N-not yet, been dancing."

"Maybe later then. Any plans to go to the tower later?"

"The tower? Oh... The Goddess Tower. Ah, no I wasn't. You?" he asked, focusing on her.

"I'm going, but not to meet anyone. I just want to see what it's like inside."

"Don't let Sylvain see you leave.”

"Why? I can tell him I wished to die single with forty cats. Maybe he'll finally get the hint."

Kishi started to chuckle, "He might start meowing. He's not a bad guy when you get to know him."

"I'm sure he's not. I've considered saying yes a few times and just enduring a couple weeks so he can move on to someone else."

"That might work... The gifts he got you, were they ok?"

"They were fine. Honestly, I thought it was you when I got the coat."

His heart picked up speed a little bit.

"The brass was ok?" he asked.

"Yeah. I'll put it on my Wyvern once I get to the stables tomorrow."

He let out a held breath and relaxed a little bit, relieved that she liked them.

"I don't think I've ever asked your birthday," Xion said when she realized.

"The 12th of the Wyvern Moon," he told her.

"Missed it then. Maybe I'll send letters after we graduate."

"Maybe I'll come visit your bakery."

"Mmm, I might not be there. Write before you visit, okay?"

"You don't like the idea of me dropping in? Getting the scoop on you from your brothers?" he teased.

"Oh Goddess, they'd probably think we're dating too."

Kishi stopped swaying and loosened his grip on her a little sadly.

"I won't then. Don't want to give people the wrong idea."

"Nah, I'd love to have you visit. My brothers will tease me either way."

He gently lifted her up and off his feet, setting her down on solid ground as the song ended.

"Thank you for the dance, Baker." He ruffled her hair, messing it up, and turned to look for Ingrid. Kishi felt better when he realized that Monica had left. Edelgard had politely asked for a dance and he complied but it was just the one and she was civil, polite, and pleasant.

Xion silently fixed her hair before taking a plate of food and heading to the tower. The Tower saw some traffic. Even the Professor was there briefly with Dimitri before they wandered off to talk.

She spent most of the night sneaking around and climbing to the top of the tower to watch the sunrise.

As the morning sun was just beginning to warm the sky, Kishi left the hall. His feet hurt and his jacket was undone. His mini cape was shoved in a pocket and he just wanted to sleep but he had a suspicion and wanted to follow up. He climbed the Tower and found Xion there.

"Try not to fall asleep out here please," he said tiredly.

"I thought you weren't coming here. Then again, I suppose it's not the night anymore. Sun's coming up, why would I sleep now?"

"Because it's been a long night and rest is important."

"Hasn't been that long. At least I'm awake because I was enjoying myself, and not because I'm scared."

That felt like a jab at something, but Kishi was too tired to figure it out.

"Well, sleep at some point.” He turned to walk away.

"I'll sleep some this morning, probably. Did you have fun with Ingrid, at least?" Xion asked politely.

"I guess."

"Alright." She stood up and hopped off the wall.

"I'm going to change into my regular uniform and get the brass on my Wyvern." He tried not to look super pleased about that.

"I’m going to bed like a normal human being." He reached over to ruffle her hair again. "See you Saturday Baker."

"Saturday." She fixed her hair again and added, "Sleep well, Kishi."

He waved over his shoulder as he walked away to his dorm room. 

* * *

_12/26 - The Cause of Sorrow_

Kishi barely got any sleep before a knock on his dorm room door woke him and he got up to answer it. It was Monica. He started to tell her off when he noticed other students with her. She was gathering a crew to go explore the old chapel on monastery grounds and was inviting him to come along to make up for last night. He was still uncomfortable around her but for old time’s sake (and that it was a group) he agreed to go. Kishi got dressed and headed out with her.

Sometime later, Alois met Captain Jeralt as the later was returning from a mission. Demonic beasts had been spotted inside monastery grounds and the Knight wanted some help. Jeralt and Byleth started gathering the Lions.

Xion scrambled back to the Wyvern tower and mounted up quickly once Byleth called them.

"Did anyone wake up Kishi?" she asked as she grouped up with the others.

Ashe looked around before saying, "He's probably on his way."

"He stayed at the ball longer than anyone," Sylvain told her as he came up beside her, "Let him rest. We can handle this ourselves."

"... alright. Let's get on our way, then." Demonic Beasts in the school? She had a terrible feeling in the pit of her stomach.

The class rushed to the old chapel where four beasts were running rampant. There were calls for help as the beasts focused on students who had been there already.

A distance away, Kishi was face down on the ground. The world was blurry and sideways. He didn't remember much but a sore lump on the back of his head made it easy to deduce what had happened. Someone had knocked him out and left him out in the open to be killed. He was dimly aware of the monster as it sniffed around. The world came back into focus as the beast targeted him and he quickly, albeit awkwardly, scrambled under an arch and rolled into some bushes between a couple trees. The monster slammed through the arch in pursuit.

Kishi could hear distant screaming. Other students were in danger! He was tired and trapped and in no position to help. Claws lashed out and snagged his leg, dragging him out into the open and ripping his leg open below the knee. He cried out with a sharp, pained yell and kicked at the monster with his other leg.

Kishi scrambled for a weapon but was still being dragged along. He tried another kick, but his head hit a rock as he was dragged, stunning him and leaving his body limp. He distantly felt claws gouge into his shoulder and chest and could smell the tangy bite of blood.

Byleth started barking orders as Jeralt moved in. Xion took off to the east flank with Sylvain. Ingrid took the west with Dimitri while Dedue baited the nearby monster closer. Ashe, Annie, and Mercedes moved up as well. Using their ranged attacks to help keep the monsters at bay.

The first monster went down, dead. It melted away to reveal a dead student.

Xion and Ingrid advanced farther while Dimitri and Sylvain swung around behind the first beasts. Ingrid was following a girl's voice and Xion was following a boy's voice. She rounded the corner and threw her hand axe at the monster before her, flying closer—and seeing Kishi. She landed in between him and the monster.

"MERCEDES!" she screamed.

The healer was far away, tending to some recently rescued students. The monster roared its frustration and started to glow. The rushing wind from the wyvern wingbeat started to bring Kishi around but his vision was still blurry, and he could just barely make out the shape of the wyvern standing over him.

Xion couldn't clear the creature’s shield in time, she knew that. She flew around to its other side and attacked to pull its attention away from Kishi.

It turned to face her, lashing out with angry, poison breath. Its tail swiping back and forth was fanning the air over Kishi, threatening to crush him. Sylvain and Captain Geralt were catching up now. They rushed in on their horses and started to attack it.

Xion landed next to Kishi again and tried to pass off a vulnerary. Sylvain's and Jeralt's battalions were keeping the beast occupied for now.

Jeralt was a full-fledged knight. It didn't take him long to kill the monster. It melted away, leaving a dead student. The Captain hurried off when a cry for help came up in the distance.

Kishi was still dazed. He rolled his head about as he tried to process what was happening around him. Xion dismounted and tried to force-feed him the vulnerary. He started to choke on it, making him scramble to sit up which was some progress at least.

"Sylvain, go get Mercedes," she ordered. Sylvain turned the horse and took off.

"Baker?" he slurred. His arm, chest, and leg hurt badly. The hit to his head made his mouth feel funny too.

"Settle down, okay? Don't try to move until we can get Mercedes over here." Her hands and voice were shaking.

"Loan me a weapon," he managed to get out while he swayed a bit and stumbled to his feet.

"Not a chance. You look like you'd fall over in the wind and the beasts are gone now." She made him sit back down with little difficulty. He felt like he was going to pass out and he was extremely pale. Hoofbeats thudded as Sylvain rode up with Mercedes she hopped down and ran to him.

"Oh Kishi! Hold still, I got you!" she called. Kishi shifted a bit to face Xion and grabbed at her hand. "Monica," he managed, "Something's not right. She's too different. Coming here was her idea." There were distant noises, a scuffle of some kind.

"We'll find her, then. For now, you need to stay still." Xion hadn't considered another operative being at the academy and after Solon, she assumed that was the end for the Agarthans. Stupid. I'm so stupid. Why didn't I consider that? (italics)

"Monica?" Sylvain asked, "Wasn't she one of the students we rescued a few minutes ago? She's back with the Professor and Jeralt." Kishi tried to sit up again but Mercedes firmly pushed him back down and cast mend on him. It would take a couple spells, so she held him still while her magic slowly refreshed. She didn't want to overdo it either.

It started to rain. Kishi was getting rain in his eyes but he was ok with it. It was helping the awful headache.

Xion stood slowly, asking Sylvain, "Where are they?"

"Here, I'll show you," he offered.

"Back towards the monastery," Sylvain said. "I can show you Xion."

She nodded and mounted up again. Sylvain mounted up as well and led the way around the buildings, leaving Mercedes to care for Kishi. The healing was helping.

"You should probably go to the infirmary," she said gently, "Professor Manuela can help heal whatever I can't."

"You're doing wonderful Mercedes."

Xion and Sylvain didn't get there in time. Jeralt was dead and the Professor was crying. For once Sylvain wasn't sure how to act. He turned away to give the Professor privacy and then went to meet up with Dimitri to tell him what happened.

Xion headed back to Kishi and Mercedes, there was nothing she could do there and Kishi was still hurt.

"Is he going to need help getting anywhere?" she asked the healer when she got back to them.

"I've done all I can," Mercedes admitted, "He needs to go to the infirmary."

Kishi sat up with a dazed groan. His head still hurt, and his hair was turning pink from the blood on his head where he hit the rock. Mercedes' magic meant he wasn't in danger, but he still looked like hell and his uniform wasn't salvageable.

"Can he ride? Or does he need to be carried?"

"I'm ok," he insisted.

"He can probably ride," Mercedes said, "What about the other students?"

"Most of them are getting help." Xion looked down before continuing, "Captain Jeralt's dead."

Kishi looked up at her with wide-eyed surprise.

"How?"

"I didn't ask. The Professor was crying. I wanted to give her space."

 _The Professor was crying? She never cried... or smiled... or reacted... or showed any emotion at all ever... huh_ , he thought to himself. He forced himself to his feet and started limping towards where the others were. She placed a hand on his chest to stop him.

"You need to get to the infirmary before anything else. We can come answer your questions later."

"Baker, this is the second fight where I was a hindrance and not a help." He grabbed her hand and held it for a second.

"I need to do something."

"The fight is over. You need to get help so you can keep fighting in the future," she insisted.

"I'm not going to keep shaming my family by running off to hide because I'm a little hurt. I'm going to at least be sure the other students are safe." He let go of her hand and walked past her.

"Oh dear," Mercedes mumbled softly. She got up off the ground and brushed off her skirt, "We better follow him to make sure he's ok and we should check on the Professor too."

"I'll go find the Professor," Xion sighed as she mounted up again and took off.

Mercedes stayed with Kishi, helping him stay upright as he was still dizzy. They quickly found the group. Dimitri was with the Professor, talking her into letting go of Jeralt to head back to the monastery to tell the Knights. Ashe looked up in alarm at the sight of Kishi, limping up to them and rushed to help Mercedes. He took one of Kishi's arms and threw it over his shoulder to help support him.

"Ashe, the other students?"

"They're all ok. A little shaken up but not hurt."

"You look awful, Kishi," Felix said as Ashe managed to help him over to the others. Kishi wrinkled his nose.

"Thanks Felix."

"Kishi!" Ingrid rushed over and started checking him over. Xion was near the Professor.

"Hey. You're going to need to get out of the rain...I know you need some time. But not here, okay?" Xion offered her a hand up so she could walk back. Byleth didn't say anything.

"You don't have to talk about it. The others already know, we can handle the reports today," she assured the Professor.

Dimitri looked at Xion gratefully and added, "She's right Professor. Let us take care of things." Byleth numbly pulled herself up and walked away.

"I can fly anyone who needs it to the infirmary,” Xion offered, “We need to ask the knights to gather the body for investigation."

Dimitri grimaced a little and said, "I concur." He turned back to the class and started directing people back to the monastery, assigning odd jobs here and there such as someone to guard Jeralt's body, someone else to help the injured students, etc. It was looking more and more like Kishi was the only one who needed further care after a couple healing spells.

Xion came up and tapped him on his good shoulder.

"Need a lift?"

Ashe answered for him, "He does!"

The small archer still had Kishi's arm over his shoulder.

"Thanks, Xion, but I'll take him," Ingrid said. Xion nodded and backed off.

Ingrid helped him onto the back of her pegasus who was NOT happy and paced anxiously. He slumped forward until she got an arm around his chest and mounted up behind him so she could help him stay upright. She clicked her tongue and they took off.


	9. Guardian Moon 1181

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:  
> Recovery  
> Double Date  
> Fear  
> Slumber Party  
> Where the Goddess Dwells

_1/4 - Recovery_

Kishi's head trauma was the only injury that the spells had failed to heal and he spent several days in the infirmary. He suspected that he could've left sooner but Manuela had insisted on him sticking around.

Xion knocked on the door before coming in.

"Got class notes from the week," she offered.

He was sitting up with a book in hand. No one else was in the infirmary. Thankfully, Manuela still had classes to teach so he got a lot of alone time.

"Thanks, Baker."

"Please stop calling me that."

She placed the papers next to the bed and asked, "You doing okay?"

"I feel fine. I think Manuela is just making me stay so she has company."

"That sounds about right. Mind if I stay awhile?"

"Not sure why you'd want to, but sure."

"Is there something wrong with wanting to spend a little time with a friend?" Xion countered.

He blinked a little bit in surprise and looked up from his book.

"Ah... I... No, there isn't." He put the book down and leaned over to ruffle through the notes.

"Hanneman has been giving us most of our assignments. Class doesn't feel right, but the Professor needs some more time."

"Do we know what killed Captain Jeralt yet? Was it one of the monsters?"

"It was Monica. She had help getting away."

Kishi suddenly felt very sick. He had suspected that was the case, but it was still hard to believe. He turned pale and looked away, studying the blanket covering his lap.

"Did...did you see the students change?" Xion asked, a little more quietly.

"Sometime while we were exploring, I was hit from behind. I just remember waking up to see the beast bearing down on me."

"That's probably for the best."

He got very quiet as he admitted, "I knew it was going to happen."

"You did?"

"At the ball, Monica told me a lot of things... threatened a lot of things. I didn't take her very seriously, but I think she only told me because she intended to have me killed."

"Then why go with her?" Xion asked.

"I truly didn’t believe she would be capable of those things… but in the case she acted on any threats I wanted to be there to stop her."

"I can understand that, at least." She fiddled with the sleeves of her uniform.

"It's a lot to process," Xion admitted.

"Whatever happened to her... Monica changed a lot. She was shy and nice growing up. She never would've tried to use me or threaten me the way she did." He was wistful and his voice was strained like it was hard to talk.

"Losing her must have been hard."

"Yeah it was," he mumbled, lost in his own nostalgia. He stared blankly ahead for a few moments and then went back to ruffling through notes. Class seemed so much less important these days.

"I've been feeding and grooming Saladin while you've been stuck in here."

He looked over at her in surprise.

"You have?"

"You were right to call him an asshole."

He laughed a little, a soft, deeper rumble in his chest and said, "Thanks for doing that."

"It's nothing. Hope he wasn't on any special diets, though. I was feeding him the same as the other horses were getting."

"That's fine. He doesn't need anything special."

"Good to know. Do you want anything brought up to you?"

"No, hopefully I won't be in here much longer."

"Alright. I think I'm gonna go, the smell in here is starting to get to me. Do you want anyone else to visit?"

He thought about Ingrid. She visited already and didn't need to be told.

"I think I'm ok."

"Alright. Take care, Kishi." She turned to leave.

"See you around, Baker."

"Xion. Not Baker." She closed the door behind her.

"Whatever you say," he mumbled as he went through the notes.

* * *

_1/11 - Double Date_

Kishi had finally convinced Manuela that she couldn't keep making up reasons for him to hang around the infirmary and had been released. He and a few of the other lions were trying to enjoy some time in the surrounding villages but there was some multi-tasking. They were keeping an eye out for Monica who was still at large.

It was Kishi, Sylvain, Ingrid, and Xion. Sylvain kept joking about it being a double date and Ingrid and Kishi both kept fighting him off until they finally just made him walk in front. There were some cute features in the village, including a river that ran through town. There were half a dozen bridges spanning it in strategic spots.

Xion walked along the top of a fence on the way. This was one of the closer villages, so she wasn't too worried about getting tired. There was still snow on the ground and ice on the river and Xion was bundled up.

"Are we going to get food?" she asked

"Sure," Sylvain said, "Anything you want, Xion, I'm buying."

"Hey thanks Sylvain!" Kishi cut in quickly.

Ingrid caught on fast, adding, "Paying for all four of us? That's really generous of you!"

"That's not..." Sylvain started but he knew he was cornered there. Another dating attempt crashed and burned.

Xion hid her mouth and giggled.

They got to one of the bridges and Sylvain jumped up on the short stone wall protecting people from the river.

"Get down from there Sylvain," Ingrid scolded but Kishi laughed and jumped up next to him.

"Kishi get down, stop acting like a child!" she scolded her boyfriend too, but he ignored her.

"Hey Sylvain, think I can make that jump?" Kishi motioned to the other side of the river. Xion climbed up with them.

"Maybe if you took a running start. Just don't fall through the ice if you miss," she suggested.

"A running start on two feet of wall," he mused aloud. Ingrid was more disapproving now.

"Kishi, I'm serious, get down. At least act like you attend the Officers Academy!" He was a little torn now.

"If you make it, I'll pay for lunch," Sylvain said, "If you miss, you pay." Caught up in the moment, Kishi agreed.

"Deal."

They shook hands. Xion hopped off the wall and ran ahead.

Ingrid was trying to look like she didn't know them as people passed by. Kishi started rocking back and forth. There wasn't a good way to get a good grip. He crouched down and then leaped! He managed to clear a midway point but fell short of the wall hitting the ice with a crack as it split under him and he ended up in the water with his top half still hanging onto the ice. Sylvain about died laughing.

Xion leaned over the wall to offer a hand up and Ingrid was more annoyed than worried by this point. She ran over to help him out. So did Sylvain. Kishi grabbed hold and helped them pull him out. He was shivering and soaked now in the cold weather.

"Ok-k-k, m-m-maybe this was a b-b-bad id-d-deal," he admitted.

"Let's get inside somewhere, yeah? Out of the cold," said Xion.

"Come on there's a pub down the way," Sylvain suggested, still chuckling. Kishi hobbled along after the red head. His pants were freezing.

"Do you want to go back, then?" asked Xion.

"D-d-deal's a d-d-deal."

"That's the spirit!" Sylvain clapped him on the back, and they headed to the pub. It was one of the only public inns and eateries in the area and there was a roaring fire. Kishi waddled over there to dry.

Xion opened her coat up and looked for a table near the fire. Ingrid went with Kishi to help him get out of his top layer and Sylvain went to the bar to talk to the innkeeper/barkeeper about getting food and drinks.

Ingrid joined Xion a minute after the girl had found it, leaving Kishi, who was closer to the fire than he probably should've been, to warm up. Sylvain came and sat down by them a few moments later. He had four pints of beer with him.

"Food is coming out a little later," he promised.

"Do you guys drink?" Xion asked, somewhat surprised.

"Everybody in the Kingdom drinks," Sylvain said as he took a swig. Ingrid was more polite with hers. Beer wasn't particularly tasty unless someone was used to it. Enticed by the drinks, Kishi wandered over from the fire to grab his. He scooted his chair, so he was sitting closest to the fire and sat down with a soggy squelch.

Xion took a mug to try it and nearly gagged. Kishi took a long drink of his and made a happy humming noise as he did. House Rowe wasn't as far North as Gautier was so drinking was more social and cultural than as a survival tactic. He had been raised on good brew and could appreciate a well-made one. The stuff they were drinking had a low alcohol content but was high in calories.

"If you don't want yours," Kishi told Xion, "I'll drink it." Xion passed it over.

"Most alcohol in Enbarr was fruit based. We had it iced. Or sometimes froze it on sticks in the summer."

"Beer is about the calories," Ingrid explained, "It keeps well in the winter and the extra calories replace what's lost."

"When your body is cold you burn more," Kishi finished for her as he took another long gulp.

"As an added bonus it takes the edge off for most people," Sylvain added. He glanced sideways at Ingrid as he said it.

"Yeah that's why people drink wine. It's not for me, honestly. Maybe sometimes when it's super hot," Xion said.

The man who owned and ran the inn/eatery and his family came with their food. Sylvain told the man they'd take the most expensive options they had so he wasn't surprised when a fine prime rib was brought for the table along with roasted potatoes and fresh baked bread with butter.

Xion's jaw dropped at the meat, though she kept her opinion on the bread to herself. The bread looked decent, not expensive.

Sylvain reached for the knife but Kishi cut him off.

"I'm paying so I get to serve," he explained. The red head grinned in agreement and passed out the plates.

"Xion, would you like me to get you something else to drink?" Ingrid offered. Kishi started tossing huge slabs of meat on all their plates.

She shrugged and said, "Water's fine.”

Ingrid got up to talk to the man at the bar while Sylvain and Kishi argued over who got the slightly bigger slice of meat.

"Give the bigger piece to Ingrid," Xion suggested as a compromise. They both looked at Xion in silence for a second, then turned back to each other.

"I'm paying for it!"

"I ordered it!"

"I'm stronger than you!"

"I'm taller than you are!"

"Then give it to me," Xion interjected. They stopped arguing to stare at her again. Then back to each other once more.

"Clearly I need the protein more!"

"Says the fatty!"

Sylvain gasped, "You don't really mean that."

"Of course not buddy." They resumed arguing loudly until Ingrid came back. She put the glass down on the table and then grabbed both the boys by their ears and dragged them to the door, throwing them out as she yelled after them.

"You can come back in when you decide to be adults!" She calmly walked back to the table with dignity and offered the bigger slice to Xion before dishing up her own potatoes and meat.

"Nah, I was bidding for you. I know you like these kinds of things," Xion said, declining the meat, "I'm not that hungry right now anyway." She passed the plate over. Ingrid gratefully accepted the plate. It was true, she really, really loved her food, especially very expensive food. Through the windows the boys could be seen wrestling in the snow.

"So Xion, I never thanked you for saving Kishi."

"I don't know that anyone else in the class would have done differently."

"It still feels right to thank you. He's hard to keep track of sometimes."

"You're saying this to the person who's accidentally run into him every Saturday since classes started."

"Quite. Can I ask you something while it's just the two of us?" Ingrid asked, her tone was serious.

"Sure thing."

"Is there anything going on between you and Kishi?"

"No, there's not and if something was starting, I'd probably start avoiding him."

"You don't have any feelings for him?" Ingrid wasn't hostile but sounded concerned.

"We're just friends. Maybe if we had met under different circumstances, something could have happened, but it didn't."

"I'm sorry, I don't want to sound mistrustful. He just seems closer to you and he talks about you a lot. I wasn't sure if you might have more insight as to why he's so closed off."

"I'm not sure. I know he wasn't exactly happy with the arrangement. He's tired of not being able to make choices for himself, and it isn't that he doesn't like you, he does, but he's probably conflicted about it."

"I see... The truth is that neither of us want this relationship. We're only dating to try and make the idea of our arranged marriage easier to embrace in the future--" The boys made it back inside. They sat down, wet and cold and dug into their meals, the meat forgotten.

"Maybe next time we train, Ingrid." Xion sliced the bread.

Kishi looked between, getting anxious, and asked, "What are you two talking about?"

Xion glanced at Ingrid before saying, "If you'd like me to go into detail about what we have to deal with once a month—" Both Sylvain and Kishi tilted their heads in utter confusion.

"Do you want to talk about menstrual cycles over food?" she asked. There was another few seconds of processing before they both cringed.

"Oh please no. Change the subject."

"So Xion," Sylvain started, "when are we going on a real date?"

"Thirty second of Pegasus Moon."

"Alright!... Oh, come on, Xion. Surely, you feel this connection between us?"

Kishi shoved a piece of bread into Sylvain’s mouth to shut him up.

"That's enough of that."

"I'll go on a date if you can get Felix to complement Dimitri," Xion offered. Everyone at the table kind of winced at that and Sylvain promptly gave up. Ingrid was focused on shoveling food into her mouth, Kishi was focused on the beer, and Sylvain was trying to play footsie with Xion under the table. Xion delivered a sharp kick to his knee.

It went on like that for a bit. They joked some, ate a lot, drank a lot, and Kishi dried out. Eventually they finished up the massive pile of food and those who drank the beer were feeling a bit buzzed. Enough to feel content and ready for a long nap.

"Are we ready to head back, then?" Xion asked, finally. Kishi was so content he was half asleep. He made a gurgling sound.

"That sounds like a yes to me," Ingrid said gently. She grabbed his arm to start pulling him up. Sylvain stood up and offered a hand to Xion.

"Shall we, milady?"

Xion rolled her eyes and stood.

"I'm the farthest thing from a lady at this table."

"Well you're wrong about that. You're the most beautiful woman in this room, the way your eyes sparkle, the way your hair frames your face... of course you're a lady," Sylvain complimented.

"Literally all three of you are nobility," she counted. Xion closed the coat back up before heading out. He followed her.

"You might as well be with your crest."

"Has Kishi told you what I think of my crest?" she asked seriously.

"Why would Kishi talk about your crest?" Sylvain asked, confused. They had gone outside, leaving Kishi and Ingrid still in the pub while they were getting their coats on.

"Because apparently he talks about me a lot?"

"Well yeah, but he doesn't talk about your crest... Actually, he doesn't talk about you a whole lot anymore. Not since I saw him leave your room."

"Which absolutely isn't what it looked like, but that's unrelated. My crest has caused me nothing but trouble off the battlefield and if there was a way to get rid of it, I would," Xion said, firmly.

Sylvain seemed taken aback by that and got quiet for a moment before he said, "Yeah well, you don't have to be noble to be special."

The door opened and Kishi and Ingrid came out. Kishi was still a little buzzed but not drunk so he had a genuine smile slapped on his face.

"We might have been out too late... It's already pretty dark," he noted.

"Then let's hurry back," Xion agreed.

Kishi and Ingrid made Sylvain take the lead, so he was easier to supervise and they walked home.

* * *

_1/18 - Fear_

Xion was walking away from the church. The stairs were frozen over and she slipped and tumbled the rest of the way down.

Kishi caught her. It was Saturday. He assumed rightfully that something would happen and had gone out to find it instead of waiting for something to happen.

"Aaa—oh, sorry. Hi Kishi."

He set her down on her feet.

"It's slippery."

"Yes, I know that now. What are you doing out here?" she asked him.

"It's Saturday."

"Yeah but what were you doing?"

"I...I was looking for you."

"Really? Why, do you need something?" She brushed herself off. He scratched the back of his head and looked away, a rosy blush on his cheeks.

"No, I just figured. It was Saturday and we were going to run into each other eventually anyway."

"...I guess, yeah… but now I don't know what to do."

"We had our run in so... I guess that's it." He turned to leave and slipped a little. Instinctively, he reached out and grabbed Xion’s elbow for balance. She froze and started breathing faster, eyes blown wide open. He got himself situated and let go.

"Baker?" he asked when he noticed how she was acting. She pulled her arms tight around her.

"It's nothing. I'm fine." She didn't relax.

"You don't look fine. I-Im sorry I touched you?"

" _ Drop it _ . I'm fine." She started to walk away.

"B-baker hold on, what happened?" He grabbed her arm to stop her, holding her by the inside of her elbow. She froze again.

"Please let me go. I don't want to talk about it.  _ Please _ ."

He didn't let go.

"We're friends, if something is bothering you, you can tell me."

"It's not... It's not, something I can tell you now. Please let me go. Just—move your hand, okay?"

Kishi was even more confused and a little hurt that she didn't want to say but he let go of her anyway. She hugged herself again.

"You can ask again after we graduate. Just—I can't right now."

"Ok... Sorry."

"I-I'm gonna go..." She backed away this time before running off. He didn't try to stop her or say anything.

* * *

_1/25 - Slumber Party_

Xion lugged her blankets and pillows to Annette's room. The class had planned a slumber party to try and cheer everyone up.

"Hey Xion!" Annette greeted, "You're here early! You can help me set up!"

"That's the plan, at least. When's the Professor supposed to arrive?"

"With everyone else in half an hour, just before sundown! Help me move some of these books out of the way. There might not be enough room for everyone."

"Gotcha." Xion started picking up books after setting her blankets near the door. Mercedes showed up next with a basket of treats, little jelly tarts, cookies, and tiny pies.

"Hey Mercy!" Annette greeted.

"Annie! It's so lovely to see you! And Xion! Are you both having good evenings?"

"I mostly trained before showing up. How about you, Mercedes?" Xion asked.

"I was making some sweets for tonight!" She came into the room and set them down.

"I hope everyone is able to make it," the healer hoped aloud.

Xion agreed, "Me too. It'll be nice to do something as a whole class for once. Maybe I'll get up early and make breakfast."

"I would like to have a girl’s night out with the girls from our class sometime," Annette told them.

"Uh...this won't include makeup or dress up, will it?" Xion asked.

Both girls squealed, "of course!"

"We got Ingrid to wear makeup for the ball, we can teach you!"

Xion tried to hide her wince.

"I'll just smudge it and end up looking like a raccoon."

"But you'd be such a cute raccoon!" Mercedes said encouragingly. Ashe poked his head around the corner.

"O-Oh am I here too soon?" he asked.

"Nah, early's fine. The more the merrier." Xion waved him into the room. He smiled and came in with his pillow and blanket. Felix was with him, but he didn't say anything and didn't seem happy to be there.

Dimitri and Dedue arrived next. They settled in somewhat awkwardly. Dedue stood in the corner behind Dimitri like a shadow and Dimitri was trying his best to fit in with the conversation but his presence made things somewhat more formal and Felix kept making snide comments his way.

Ingrid showed up right on time, meeting the Professor by the door. Byleth still looked shaken up and didn't bring any bedding. She clearly wasn't planning on staying overnight but her presence at all was encouraging.

Xion looked around and realized there wasn't enough space for everyone to lay out their blankets. "Alright. How many of you have made blanket nests before?" she asked.

"Blanket nest?" Dimitri asked, somewhat confused.

"I believe she is referring to using ones bedding to construct a facsimile of a bird's nest," Dedue told Dimitri.

"Oh of course. Is that common sleepover practice?" he asked.

"Ugh, why don't we just have more than one sleepover?" Felix chimed in, "We're clearly not all going to fit. When it's time to sleep we can just separate into two groups."

"It would be nice if everyone could stay together..." Mercedes lamented, "but that's a good idea, Felix." Ashe started gathering up a bunch of blankets and handed them to Xion, saying, "Well, we can get started on a blanket nest in here for now."

"What do you think Professor?" asked Annie. Byleth seemed distant but politely agreed with Felix.

Xion started unfolding her blankets.

"It might be easier to explain to Seteth if the boys and girls sleep in separate rooms anyway," she agreed.

Byleth gave Xion a slight smile and nodded politely.

"Well, I don't want to be in any room that the boar is in," Felix grumbled. There was a knock on the door and Sylvain stepped in through the open door.

"Sorry I'm late! Got tied up.” He winked at the room with his comment, eliciting a couple groans and a furious stare from Felix.

"I don't understand," said Dimitri a little more urgently, "were you captured Sylvain?"

"Uh... Don't worry about it, Highness." The red head went and sat down between Annette and Mercedes so he could put an arm around each of them. Mercedes handed him the basket of treats to prevent him from expanding that personal bubble and he awkwardly held that instead of them.

Xion stole a sweet from the bowl and addressed Felix, "Sleep by the East wall. If someone opens the door, they won't see you. Just be prepared to have your hair done."

Felix grumbled a little bit but with everyone there his protests were quickly overshadowed.

"We should play a game!" Annette announced.

"That's a great idea!" Ashe agreed.

"But Annie, what kind of games?" Mercedes asked.

Sylvain leaned forward a bit and offered, "What about spin the bottle?"

"I do not think that spin the bottle would be an appropriate game for the company, Sylvain," came Dedue's robotic input.

"Spin the bottle?" Dimitri was becoming more confused by the minute. It was clear that he had never really participated in group events of a jovial nature.

"A kissing game. Truth or Dare is probably better," remarked Xion.

"No kissing games," Ingrid confirmed, "Truth or Dare is a good one."

"Yeah," Ashe agreed, "It's pretty easy too." There was a chorus of agreements.

"Should we wait for Kishi?" Xion asked. Nobody else had really noticed his absence.

"Oh, of course, it wouldn't be right to start until we were all here," Dimitri said. Sylvain tilted his head. "He's not usually late to things. Ingrid do you know where he is?" he asked the blonde.

"The last time I saw him was in the library. He might have just got distracted studying," she said, "He would be embarrassed if he knew we stopped the party just for him. We can probably start the game now."

"... something's gonna happen anyway. It's Saturday. I'll go look for him." Xion stood to leave. Ingrid stood up too.

"Xion, I'm sure he's just late and if anyone is going to go looking it should be me."

"... alright." Xion sat back down. Now that she put that pressure on herself, Ingrid excused herself to go look for him.

"...sooo game?" Sylvain insisted.

Xion nodded and said, "Yeah. Does everyone know how to play?"

"I confess," Dimitri said, "I do not know the rules." Byleth also nodded.

"Usually everyone sits in a circle. One person starts. They ask someone else in the circle Truth or Dare. The target picks one, and the person who asks either challenges them to a dare or asks them a question they must answer truthfully. If they don't, the circle decides on a punishment. Either way, the person asked becomes the next asker." Xion had somehow become in charge of party games.

"Seems simple enough! Are there any rules, such as off-limits questions or tasks?" Dimitri asked.

"No nudity or life-risking," she answered.

"If you're uncomfortable answering a question, you're allowed to pass on it as well," Ashe offered, a little concerned about some of their pasts. Xion nodded.

"I'll start," Sylvain said, "Xion, truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"I dare you to kiss me." There were groans around the room.

"Sylvaaain," Ashe groaned, "That's not polite."

"The only person who's ever kissed me was my father when I was a little kid. Sure you want to change that?"

"Wait, not even Kishi?" Sylvain asked. A few people in the room seemed surprised, even the Professor had thought they had a thing.

"We never dated. but I didn't pick truth, so decide if that's what you really want to know."

Sylvain grinned.

"Kiss me then!"

"Fine." Xion crawled across the floor and planted a kiss on his cheek.

"Anyone got soap?" she asked quickly. Sylvain looked offended.

"That's not what I meant when I asked for a kiss."

"Well you got it so stop complaining," Felix snapped.

"Your turn, Xion," Mercedes said, she was grinning ear to ear.

"Dimitri. Truth or Dare."

He seemed surprised to be picked to participate but answered quickly, "Oh! Well, I shall follow your example, dare."

"Arm wrestle Dedue."

"Finally, the night is getting interesting," Felix declared. He smirked to himself and then helped Ashe get the desk moved away from the wall so that they could use it for the arm wrestle. The two of them lined up and then started! There were jeers and cheers from the room cheering them both on.

"Please accept my sincerest apologies, your Highness," Dedue said.

"Dedue? For what?" Dimitri managed through the strain. The Duscur man put more force behind his arm and won, slamming the Prince's arm down on the desk while the room cheered.

Xion laughed, "I half-expected the desk to break. Sorry, Annette."

The little orange-haired girl waved her hands in front of herself in a gesture of good will and reassured her, "Don't worry! That was fun to watch!"

Eventually the night wore on, the Professor left to her own room and the boys cleared out. Felix left too, though he really snuck off to his own room. The remaining boys grouped up in Dimitri's room while the girls settled down.

Ingrid knocked on the door and let herself in around that time.

"Sorry... I didn't mean to miss most of the party," she offered by way of an apology.

"It's alright. Probably saved Sylvain a black eye," Xion said.

Ingrid’s smile faded.

"What did he do?"

"It was really scandalous," Mercedes giggled.

"Oh it wasn't that bad," Annie insisted.

"We played Truth or Dare and he dared me to kiss him."

"Ugh, I'm so sorry, Xion."

"I thought it was adorable," Mercedes said with a jovial ring to her voice. She munched on one of the jelly tarts.

"It's alright, Ingrid. I expected it and kinda cheated." Xion stole another sweet.

Ingrid seemed relieved. Overall, she was still tense but the mood in the room made it a bit better. She set up her sleeping space and sat on it, reaching for a treat.

"I'm sorry about Sylvain."

Xion shrugged and said, "I'm used to it at this point."

Ingrid looked like she wanted to say more about it but decided against it. They were here to have fun.

"It might be a bit too late for another game," Mercedes lamented.

"That's alright. We can just talk."

"What should we talk about?" Annie asked.

"Whatever we want to. All the sleepovers I've been in we all talked well into the morning," shared Xion.

"We could talk about boys but I think Ingrid is the only one with a boyfriend right now," Mercedes offered.

"Do you think Kishi is having fun with the boys?"

Ingrid looked down.

"I... I couldn't find him."

Xion frowned and her tone lost some of the light-heartedness from before.

"Did he say anything about not coming?"

"I haven't talked to him since this morning," the blonde admitted, "We're... not actually that close."

"But I thought you guys were like, boyfriend and girlfriend?" Annie asked.

"We were trying because of our arranged marriage but we're still more like close friends," Ingrid explained.

"...I think I'm going to use the curse to my advantage. Anyone want anything from the kitchen?" Xion stood up and headed to the door.

"C-Curse?!" Annette hid under a blanket.

"I think we're fine," Mercedes told Xion politely.

"Be back in a bit then." She left.

Xion was near the gates when she saw them coming. She ended up ducking behind the blacksmith's stall.

Kishi was on his way back from the village with Edelgard on his arm. It wasn't a date per se, more a serious political proposition. Now that Kishi was adamant about not joining the Black Eagles, Edelgard was trying a new approach to ensure that Kishi could be counted on as an ally. Why she was seeking out a good relationship with him was beyond his realm of understanding, but Kishi was polite and they had spent the better part of the day roaming the village and talking.

They walked past Xion, not knowing she was there and keeping their voices soft to only be heard between them. She leaned up to kiss his cheek politely and whisper something in his ear then she stepped away. He bowed politely and kissed the back of her hand and she walked off.

Kishi watched her go and then turned around, looking around suspiciously. He was right to be anxious; Hubert nearly materialized out of the shadows and came in close to whisper to Kishi as well. Kishi tensed up and growled a little, making a tsk sound. His hand hovered near the hilt of his sword, but Hubert's hand shot out and grabbed Kishi's wrist, holding him still with a tight grip. He responded to Hubert, something snappy that he chased with a smirk. Hubert frowned and twisted Kishi's wrist. The silverette stayed quiet but grimaced a little. They exchanged a few more words and Hubert let go, walking off.

Kishi twisted his wrist experimentally, satisfied that things hadn't escalated. Hubert wasn't typically a bully like that. He usually skipped the hurting and jumped right to disposing of the body but Kishi knew he could get away with pushing some buttons if he was careful. He looked around again to be sure he was alone in the dark and then headed up the stairs to start walking back to his room.

"Remember what I said about Hubert when you tried getting close to Edelgard? Same happens when she gets close to you," Xion said softly, following him in the dark.

Kishi had his sword drawn and pressed to her throat in a few short heartbeats. His own heart was racing, already on edge from his earlier confrontation. She put her hands up.

"Hey. It's just me."

"Baker." He pressed with the sword a little harder.

"What did you see?"

"You came back with Edelgard and Hubert probably threatening you. Didn't hear anything, but it's Hubert, what else would he be doing?" She didn't seem very afraid.

She didn't hear anything. (italics)He took a deep breath and lowered his sword.

"How long have you been out here?" he asked.

"About ten minutes? Ingrid went to look for you when you didn't show today but couldn't find you. I thought I'd try my luck, given that it's Saturday."

He sighed and put the sword away then he turned around to start walking towards the dorms again.

"Are you going to hang out with the boys at least?" She followed him.

"What?" He didn't slow down.

"The boys in class? Slumber Party to cheer up the Professor?"

"Probably not." His voice was short and snappy, high strung.

"Alright... do you want to talk about it?"

"Don't you have your own secrets to worry about? Why are you always so interested in mine?" he asked with a snap. He stopped walking to turn on her with an aggressive stance.

"... I'm sorry, I wasn't trying to pry. Just offer support if you want it." She stepped around him and continued towards the dorms.

He hadn't been trying to be mean. His nerves were shot, and he was anxious about a lot of things. Between Monica and Edelgard, something was up, and he didn't have a clue what it was but now Captain Jeralt was dead. Kishi still had nightmares of the demonic beast dragging him along, his relationship was unfulfilling, and his friend was keeping secrets but pushy about his. It didn't feel right, none of it. He made a huffing noise and turned around, stomping off away from the dorms purely so he wouldn't have to walk the same way as Xion.

Xion almost went back to Annette's room. Almost. Last minute she decided she'd rather not sleep-talk around strangers.

* * *

_1/31 - Where the Goddess Dwells_

Xion knocked loudly on Kishi's door. There was a crashing, scrambling sound and then the door opened. Kishi only opened it a crack.

"What?"

"Professor wants everyone to gather near the Sealed Forest. They found Monica," she reported.

The door slammed closed and there were more scrambling crashing noises. Less than a minute later it opened again. Kishi hurried out, dressed, long hair put up in a ponytail, sword in hand, and his bow on his back.

Xion turned and sprinted to the next door. While he raced to the stables and geared up. Kishi was eager to be out there, class or not. With Monica, it felt personal. There was no doubt the Professor was feeling the same. He mounted up and raced out of the monastery.

One by one, their classmates arrived. Xion arrived last with Sylvain. Kishi was anxious and it was making his horse skittish. He wanted to race past all of them and get to Monica.

The Professor split the class, one group going north with her and the other went west with Dimitri. Kishi made sure to go with Byleth. He knew she would be rushing to Monica. Xion was in Dimitri's group.

Then Monica started talking, taunting them—then her form changed, just as Tomas had become Solon. She introduced herself as Kronya.

Kishi felt sick but he wasn't surprised. No wonder she was different. It wasn't the Monica he knew; it wasn't Monica at all! He rushed forward, unable to wait any longer. He and the Professor clashed against a demonic beast that cut them off.

Xion was in a similar battle on the other side. She slid the visor of her helmet shut. She'd never heard the name Kronya before, but—she didn't want to risk it.

The burning need for revenge drove the class on and Kronya didn't do a very good job padding her defenses. They ripped through easily and the class regrouped around the ruins where Kronya waited. It hurt holding back but Kishi followed orders. The Professor wanted this one.

Byleth chased Kronya when the murderer ran. The students couldn't properly see what was going on through the trees to the other side of the stones. Then it was swallowed up with black and they couldn’t see anything.

Felix and Kishi both started to approach against orders when the black and purple fire consumed the ruins, but Dimitri and Sylvain got in the way, holding them back while the unknown swirled around. As the dark finally dispelled only Solon remained. Kronya and the Professor were missing.

Dimitri approached Solon with Dedue and Annette, and strong words were exchanged. Kishi held back in the woods with the others. Where did the Professor go? Something wasn't right. This guy... Solon had a strong, evil aura about him. Kishi’s instincts were telling him to turn and run.

Xion landed her Pegasus in the forest beside the others and took a moment to breathe. She could still fight. She had to. Maybe, maybe they could take out Solon today and make her goal that much easier. She took off again to see the sky splitting.

The light was blinding and Kishi had to look away for a second but when he turned back, there was the Professor, having just climbed out of the hole in the sky. Dimitri greeted her and Solon expressed some negative sentiment but Kishi wasn’t listening. He started to run to higher ground as reinforcements arrived.

Xion looked to the Professor before flying over the embankment with Ingrid. They were told to wait there for the rest of the class. Solon was right there though, and Ingrid was getting impatient.

"Xion, we can probably take him."

"The Professor's instructions were to wait so he doesn't get away like last time. He's a mage, you might be able to do something but magic hits me hard and I'd rather not see you without backup."

Ingrid knew Xion was right and just nodded, hanging back while the others caught up. The class defeated the reinforcements and joined the two above.

Once the class was near, Xion swooped in for a hit.

"So, you thought you could get away? You will be punished for this when you return," Solon hissed when he recognized her. 

"I won't be going back," Xion promised. Two quick swings of the axe later and she flew a little ways off to give others the chance to attack. Everyone got some kind of a shot off before Byleth took the finishing blow.

Xion headed back on her own. Byleth stayed to talk to Dimitri. Kishi dismounted and stood off to the side. The Knights of Seiros were cleaning up and Kishi was watching, lost in his own thoughts.

"Ready to head back?" Ingrid asked him. He didn't say anything but went ahead and mounted up again to follow her back.

Xion went to the training grounds and stayed there for the rest of the day.


	10. Pegasus Moon 1181

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:  
> -Kittens  
> -Lunch  
> -Locked in a Closet  
> -Throne of Knowledge

_ 2/8 - Kittens _

Xion was leaning over a pile of towels she'd brought into the classroom.

"Baker?"

Kishi tilted his head as he was passing by. He changed directions and walked over to see what was going on. Resting on the towel nest were two cats and a dozen kittens, most of which were still shiny and wet.

"So, I probably should have called Marianne but I have no idea where she is."

His jaw dropped a little bit when he saw the babies.

"Um... What's going on?" Kishi asked. He had seen animals giving birth before, but the situation was unique.

"I found the two moms giving birth under a bush in the snow and brought them inside where they'd be warm?" she offered as an explanation. He peeked over at them and gently reached out to poke a baby. The mom hissed and scratched him.

"Ouch!"

"You probably won't be able to touch them for a few days. Sora's cat had kittens once and he couldn't pet them for a while either. Then one day she just dropped them in his lap and went about her business." Xion was watching the other cat groom the babies.

"But there's always a chance of a runt or a cat rejecting a kitten and then you have to take it," she explained. He put his scratched finger in his mouth.

"That hurt..."

"Then don't do it again."

Xion grabbed a smaller towel and started trying to clean the mess that was the moms. He pouted a little bit.

"How can I help?” he asked.

"The moms are gonna need to eat, but they can typically take care of the kittens on their own. Right now, they just need to be kept warm and clean." She handed him a rag.

He took the rag and looked at the other mom. These were a lot different from horses. The queen hissed at him and he narrowed his eyes.

"Stop that," Kishi told her but there wasn’t any bite to his voice.

"Switch with me. She had twice as many kittens, she'll be harder."

He shifted over and started wiping the poor mom clean. The kittens were all nursing, sleeping, or both.

"We'll need to get food later, but they're probably too tired to eat now."

"I can go get something."

"Ask Byleth what the cats eat, she's always feeding them."

He nodded and ran out. Byleth was predictably in the greenhouse. He ran up to her.

"Professor, I need to know what to feed the cats."

"For what? I usually feed them extra fish, but they need more than that in their diet."

"Xion found a couple mother cats and their kittens."

"Then feed them poultry and red meat. Preferably cooked but they can eat it raw as well. You might also try talking to Marianne."

"Thanks Professor!" He quickly ran off to the kitchen before he went back to the classroom with some chicken breasts.

"I can get more if it's not enough," he assured Xion. Taking care of something so small and alive was a nice change of pace.

"Nah, this is good. They probably won't eat right away, though."

He crept up close enough to watch them and crouched down to one knee. Xion was doing similarly, although she had her legs folded under her.

Kishi sneakily reached out to pet one of the babies. The mama was asleep now. Pet successful. He beamed. It was the happiest he had felt in a very long time. With all the tragedy going around seeing something so positive was healing in a way.

Xion had lots of scratches up and down her arms from moving the cats and half their litters inside. "Should we tell the rest of the class?" she asked.

"They'll find out eventually. Let's not crowd them."

She nodded and went to the door to grab her coat. He stayed put, completely fascinated by them.

Xion left him alone with the cats, coming back a while later with 'tea'. By the time she came back he had settled in against the wall with a kitten sleeping on his chest. He was dozing some too and woke up more when she came back.

"Did you want some?" she offered.

"Yeah that would be great."

Xion left the mug in front of him and went back to make a second cup for herself. He picked it up to sip it and almost choked. This was not good tea.

Xion came back again a while later, a couple apples in hand as well.

"Baker, this... this is not good tea."

"...I don't know how the Professor gets all the leaves out when she makes it."

"I can teach you sometime." He cradled the little kitten gently.

"I'd like that, Kishi."

He focused instead on the kitten he was cuddling, kissing its head softly. She watched him quietly.

Kishi kept petting it incredibly gently, as though afraid of hurting it by accident. It made a hungry mewling sound as it started to cry and Kishi panicked. He looked up at Xion with alarm and glistening eyes like he was about to cry too but he held perfectly still so as not to jostle the baby too much.

"Wh-What did I do? Is it ok?" he asked.

"It's probably hungry. Set it down next to its mom, she'll know how to feed it."

Kishi very gently put it back and slumped with relief when it crawled to mom and started feeding.

"They're so small and fragile. It's hard to see that in a few months they'll be wandering around and playing with each other," Xion continued.

"They're so different from horses."

"What are horses like?"

"There's a lot more kicking and then they just stand up and start walking around. The babies are just mini adults, they aren't really so helpless like these guys are," Kishi told her.

"Humans are even worse than the cats though."

"I don't really have experience with human babies."

"Not even babies, though. It takes people sixteen to twenty years to get where these guys will be in two."

"Yeah but they don't live as long..." He gently reached in to pet the mama. Mama started purring like a lawnmower.

"That's true. I suppose but turtles hatch knowing how to swim, and they live hundreds of years. At least that's what Petra says."

Kishi wasn't sure how to respond to that, his focus entirely on the mama. He was gently petting her with a soft smile on his face. Xion watched in silence again.

"They can stay in my room," he offered, speaking quietly, "It's warm there, and quiet."

"It's going to be hard to move them all, and here, the moms can still go out and hunt and use the bathroom... but it is warm and quiet, so it'll be easier on the kittens in your room. Maybe get a sand pan so they can use the restroom."

"Yeah, I'll do that," he mumbled as he helped one of the babies roll over.

"Are you planning on making them pets?" she asked. He seemed surprised by the question.

"No, well, um, I don't know..."

"If you give them names, you'll get attached. So, don't unless you want fourteen cats."

"I won't," he promised, his voice a little sadder at the thought.

"Do you want help getting them up to your room?" she asked.

"I'm going to go find a basket." He excitedly got up and ran off. Xion had a feeling these cats were going to end up pets.

Kishi came back a few minutes later with an old crate that he lined with a blanket.

"Here." He put it down next to the little nest with reverence. Xion added the towels as well before helping transfer the cats. They got a lot of scratches.

"Ok, I think that's all of them," Kishi said, double checking.

"Can you carry it yourself?"

"I think so..." He picked it up, straining just a bit until he found a comfortable way to carry them and started heading towards his dorm.

"Aren't you coming?" he asked.

"I've never been to your room but okay." She stood and followed with the chicken.

Kishi led the way to the second floor. His room was ironically right above hers. There was nothing symbolic about that at all.

He kicked the door open and paled. Kishi had forgotten that he had let his room go to crap. His desk was flipped over and books scattered the floor. His blankets were on the floor too and anything that might have been on a horizontal surface certainly was not in its correct place.

"You absolutely cannot let the kittens out of the crate until this is clean," she said firmly after a quick survey.

Kishi nodded a bit and stepped inside, putting the box down on his bed. He picked the desk back up, so the place looked less ransacked.

"Sorry, it was... a rough night," he mumbled.

"Nightmares?"

"Those too." He quickly started picking up books and stacking them neatly to get them out of the way.

Xion opened her mouth but closed it again quickly. The blankets he just tossed on the bed.

"Um... Sand box?"

"Just fill a pan with sand. The moms are gonna use it as a bathroom instead of the floor."

"Yeah, do you have a pan?"

"No. Do you want me to get one?" she offered.

"Could you? While I straighten up?" Xion nodded and disappeared.

He hurried to get the room clean, determined to create a safe space for his new charges. When he was satisfied, Kishi put the crate on the floor and sat next to it so he could whisper words of encouragement to the kittens.

"Hey... I'm not going to name you guys, but I'm here. I'll protect you guys until you're ready to face the world."

Xion arrived about ten minutes later. Kishi didn't notice her. He was still whispering to the kittens, telling them about spring and all the things he liked about it. He was describing the sun and grass and what it was like to play in the fields near the walls of Arianrhod.

She stopped a moment to listen. It was nice to hear about the good parts of his childhood. He always made it seem so... militaristic, or that there was nothing good that happened.

He told them about finding caves to explore and the creeks nearby that were full of fish in the spring when the creeks became rivers. Then he told them about stars and the night sky and how much he preferred sleeping under that sky rather than at home. He told them about hunting and providing and how good it felt to be successful and know that you were helping someone. Then he told them about finding love and how wonderful it was. Kishi was eager to give these little guys the best possible start so he avoided talking about anything negative. It took him an extra few minutes to notice Xion and he immediately turned bright red.

"How long have you been standing there?"

"You were telling them about springtime."

"Why didn't you stop me?" he asked quietly, extremely embarrassed.

"You were happy." She shrugged. "Why would I?"

He didn't have a good answer, so he changed the subject, "Pan?"

She'd already filled it and held it up before putting it on the floor. Kishi smiled at it and pulled it closer to the crate.

"Thanks for helping me get them up here."

"Of course. If you need more help with cats, I grew up with three."

She turned to go. He was already distracted by the babies again.

* * *

_ 2/15 - Lunch _

Byleth met Kishi and Xion in the lunch hall for a lunch date. Kishi had stopped trying to fight the Saturday meetups. He just knew he'd run into Xion and sure enough here they were.

Xion had heard today's special was something to look forward to, but not what it was. She sat next to Kishi, across from the Professor.

"How are the cats?" she asked him.

Byleth set a tray in front of each of them.

"Are these the same cats you rescued last week?" the Professor asked him as well.

"Yes Professor, same cats. Some of the kittens' eyes are open now." He poked at the food. Oh man, it smelled incredible.

Xion's mouth watered. It was pork roast in some sort of cherry glaze.

"This looks way nicer than anything I had in Enbarr." She dug in. Byleth and Kishi did too.

"What's your favorite food?" Xion asked, as they ate. Kishi looked at the Professor to politely wait for the answer.

"I don't really have a favorite, though I do enjoy fish," Byleth admitted.

"What about you, Kishi?"

"The Prime Rib we had last month was pretty good."

Xion nodded and said, "It was. Thanks for it, by the way."

"Of course." With the Professor there, Kishi was back to hyper polite, noble mode.

"You did well with your horse training this week, Kishi. Keep it up."

"Thank you, Professor."

"Xion, you need to get better at dismounting."

Xion winced. She needed to be able to do it while the wyvern was still flying.

"I might be able to help you practice," Kishi offered, keeping the discussion going to keep the awkward silence at bay.

"That would be nice, thanks."

Byleth didn't take long to finish her plate. Kishi finished eating quickly too. Xion took a little longer to finish, but not much.

The conversation was a bit stale and quiet so as soon as they were all done eating, Kishi excused himself.

* * *

_ 2/22 - Locked in a Closet _

Xion was following Mercedes. The healer had asked for help carrying something and Xion hadn't questioned it. Mercedes led her to a closet, then said they were waiting for more help.  _ This is the supply closet for the Knight's Hall, what could possibly need more people to carry?  _ She stood by while Mercedes removed a broom.

Sylvain had used a similar line, asking for help with an unknown task. Kishi was a little gloomy but he agreed to help.

"Sylvain is it much farther? I'm really not in the mood today."

"Just up here." They approached Mercedes and Xion.

"Hey!" Sylvain greeted with a sultry slur in his voice.

Mercedes smiled at t hem and then turned to Xion to say, "It's on one of the higher shelves, but I don't have the best balance. Can you help me get it down? You're always climbing the walls and gates on the monastery, I figured it would be easy for you."

Xion hadn't realized Mercedes had seen that, but it was true, she did a lot of climbing. She started on the shelves. There was maybe three feet of space between the shelves and the doors.

"What am I supposed to be getting?"

"Oh hey, Kishi will you help her out?" Sylvain asked as they arrived, "I have some flirting to do."

He leaned in close to Mercedes. Kishi deadpanned and sighed, coming in close behind Xion.

"Need help?" he asked.

"Uh... no? Why—"

The doors slammed shut behind them and Mercedes stuck the broom in the door’s handles. Kishi was bumped forward hitting Xion and boxing her in. He jumped backwards out of polite alarm and hit the door with his back.

"Wha? Sylvain!! Open this door!" he demanded.

"Excuse my language but what  _ the fuck _ , Sylvain?!" Xion assumed that Mercedes had nothing to do with it until she heard her giggling.

It was impossible for Kishi to move around without rubbing up against Xion, so he held perfectly still to keep things from being weird.

"Sylvain this is not helping!" No response from the door. Not even breathing.

"A-Are you still out there?" he asked a little more earnestly.

Xion kicked the door a few times.

"This isn't funny!" she yelled. Kishi pressed his ear to the door.

"I don't... I don't think anyone is out there."

"What the Ailell." Xion climbed the shelves so she wasn't right up against Kishi.

"Damnit Sylvain... This isn't... Come on..." he grumbled sadly, "Damn it he knows how I feel about you, this is unacceptable."

"What?"

"Sylvain is an asshole," he said over his shoulder between knocks on the door. That wasn't quite what Xion was asking.

"You don't think Mercedes helped him, do you?"

"I don't know," he said as he tried to kick the door but there wasn't enough space for a solid attempt.

"This door doesn't lock. They have some kind of barrier. Kicking probably won't work."

"Well I'm not going to just sit here and not try," he grumbled. Xion scratched her arm awkwardly.

"I'm not saying that. Is there anything in this closet thin enough to fit through the doors?"

It was dark so it was hard to tell. Kishi bent down to feel along the bottom.

"It's pretty tight...not a lot of space under the door."

"I have a dagger. Will it fit?" She pulled it out of its sheath on her belt. He felt for her and grabbed her arm, following it down to the knife.

"Maybe, but it won't reach far."

"Oh. Alright then." She put it away again. He quickly let go of her and moved away as far as he could.

"We're just going to have to wait until someone walks by."

Xion frowned, though it was hard to see in the dark. That could take hours if they were unlucky.

Kishi leaned against the wall and slid down it so he could hug his knees and hide his face.

"This isn't how I saw my day going," he lamented, mostly to himself.

"Did you have plans?"

"No, I just don't want to be locked in a closet."

"No one wants to be locked in a closet."

"Sylvain would if there was a girl in here. What do they expect us to do?"

"At home, you locked two people you wanted to confess something to each other in a closet. It wasn't all that uncommon, but there were lots of reasons, like working out a miscommunication or admitting you liked someone."

Kishi blushed in the dark and mumbled, "Oh... Well, anything you want to confess?"

"...not yet. You?"

"N-No. Nothing."

"How are things going with your studies?"

"It'll probably be a long time before I move up in anything and the next exam requires training a wyvern to read signals. Which means I need to get my own instead of using the Church's extras."

"Can you afford that?" Kishi asked, trying to be polite despite the rudeness of the question.

"Absolutely not. I'm more likely to try and catch one during migration."

"You might be able to find someone who can help you buy a young one."

"Maybe. How are yours?"

"My studies? Fine. The Professor won't let me change goals though."

"What goal do you want?" she asked. The conversation was helping pass the time.

"I want to be a bow knight."

"And what are you studying now?"

"Great Knight," he said simply.

"I have never seen you willingly use an axe."

"I make a point to not use them."

He shuffled awkwardly in the dark for maybe half a second before he blurted, "Ingrid and I broke up."

"What? Did something happen?"

"We just... weren't right for each other. We each like someone else."

"So, you like someone?" she joked, then more seriously asked, "Are you upset about it?"

"A little. I like Ingrid but... there's too much going on right now. I think it would be dangerous to have a girlfriend right now."

"... dangerous?"

_Big mouth_ , he scolded himself.

"Well, yeah, don't you think? With the lives we're destined to lead?"

"...for you, that would mean forever."

"...yeah.." He buried his face in his folded arms again.

"...hey. You can always drop by the bakery after we graduate," she offered.

"I don't think that's a good idea, Baker."

"Why not?"

"We're on different sides. We need to remember that."

"... because I'm a commoner?"

"Because you're from the Empire."

"...why does that matter?"

"The real world isn't like the monastery and I have a duty lined up for me. That comes before everything else."

"...so it's just another thing I won't understand."

His voice was strained. It was physically paining him to say these things, but he managed a shaky, "Yes."

"...sorry to have wasted your time."

He took a deep breath to steel himself.

"It's alright."

"What does _that_ mean?" Xion countered.

"Um, it's slang for I forgive you?"

"...I see."

There was a scuffling sound as the broom was moved and the door was opened.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize someone was in here." It was Ignatz.

"We were locked inside," she said quickly. Xion slipped off the shelf she was sitting on and walked out into the hall, breaking into a run once she made it past the door.

"W-wait! Baker!" Kishi scrambled to his feet and took a few steps in her direction but she was long gone. "Kishi? I-Is everything alright?" Ignatz asked.

Kishi sighed, "No." He turned and left a confused Ignatz alone in the hallway.

* * *

_ 2/29 - Throne of Knowledge _

The class followed Byleth into the tomb. After the events of the prior month, the Archbishop was determined to see the Professor sit on the Goddess’ throne. What she was expecting, only she knew, but the class accompanied her anyway to show support.

Kishi was extremely uncomfortable. He had spent all week avoiding pretty much everyone. He avoided Ingrid because of the breakup, Sylvain because of their fight after he got free of the closet, Xion because of the closet, and Ashe because he was ashamed of the rest of it. He was lonely, scared, and under a lot of pressure from Edelgard, home, and his own concerns. So, when they went down into the tomb, he was distracted, distant, and poorly geared.

Xion had done nothing but train lately. She was prepared for a fight, but tired and sore. Mercedes had tried to apologize a few times, only to get brushed off and she hadn't seen Sylvain.

Kishi wouldn't really look at anyone either and he was too zoned out to notice that nothing happened when Byleth sat on the throne in the holy tomb, too distracted to care that the Archbishop Rhea was disappointed, and too depressed to realize that they weren't alone anymore.

It didn't take the rest of the class long to figure it out. Soon, Byleth was barking orders and Xion was halfway across the room, hacking at a soldier.

The Flame Emperor, the ghostly figure that had been taunting the Professor and proven to be in cahoots with Kronya and Solon, was leading these soldiers, directing them to steal the crest stones from the coffins scattered around the Holy Tomb. Monsters, bearing the Flame Emperor’s colors roared defiantly.

Xion was good at chasing down the soldiers. Even if they got a crest stone, they didn't keep them long.

Kishi pushed one of the bigger monsters recklessly. He wasn't trying to help himself at all and had little regard for his own life. He and Ashe were able to bring one of the beasts down as they pushed the Flame Emperor.

It took some time but soon the class had the Flame Emperor cornered. Her mask fell away.

When Edelgard revealed herself, Xion nearly snapped the reins she was holding. _How dare she? After everything, how dare she work with them?_ Xion thought.

Kishi almost fell off his horse. He was surprised but more concerned. Things were starting to make more sense and he was getting very, very worried.

An enraged, crazed Dimitri charged Edelgard but her retainer, Hubert, appeared to warp Edelgard away to safety.


	11. Lone Moon 1181

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:  
> -Secrets Revealed  
> -To War

_ 3/21 - Secrets Revealed  _

Xion left a folded note in the space between Kishi's door and the wall.

_ Secrets can't wait. Goddess Tower bridge tonight, don't let anyone see you. Baker. _

Kishi found it when he got back from town. He read it with a relatively blank expression but internally he was freaking out. Had Xion figured him out? Did she know that Edelgard was using him? If she had found out he was feeding information to the now Emperor Edelgard… He took a deep breath and grabbed his sword just in case before heading out to meet her.

Xion was sitting on the steps of the tower, head bowed. He stopped a few feet away from her but stayed quiet. She only looked up long enough to see that it was him.

"Can I trust you?" she asked. He took a deep breath and held it, mind racing.

"Probably not," he finally admitted with some shame.

She sighed, "I guess some things are going to stay secret. Not everything. Sit down, you're less likely to be spotted with the wall as cover."

"Baker... Xion. I don't think you want to tell me anything secret right now..." He could almost feel Hubert breathing down his neck. Playing both sides was hard enough, he didn’t want Xion to tell him something he might betray.

"Sit, Rowe. The Empire already knows, because I told Edelgard the first day we were here." Her use of his last name startled him some and he slowly moved to sit down next to her.

The Empire was the enemy of the Kingdom, it stood to reason that the Kingdom should know what she needed to say.

"I was sent to this school to spy on Edelgard for the people she's allied with. I have good reason to hate them, so I told her and fed them bullshit for months. Thought I was getting away with it until Solon revealed himself."

He took a deep breath and held it before motioning for her to continue.

"And I wasn't born with a Crest."

"...but you have one now."

Her voice went monotone. She stared at the stones beneath her feet.

"When we were thirteen, Roxas and I were in one of the bad parts of the city. There was a fire that spread through the entire street too quickly to be natural. People in robes and plague masks started grabbing kids in the chaos of it all. We were the oldest ones.

There were twenty-four of us. Aged five to thirteen. One big room with beds, a hallway, and a smaller room with a table. We all had to wear the same clothes. They'd take us, one at a time to the smaller room. At first it was drawing blood and things that a doctor would do in an average check-up. Then they put tubes in our arms, and everything was about blood. Draining, refilling, testing, it felt like fire. Roxas and I tried to do it more often so they wouldn't take the smaller ones.

One day I woke up with white hair. They put me on a schedule then. Called me a success. Five others' hair changed. The rest died or went mad or were crippled somehow. Roxas too, much later. Towards the end of the first year.

I stopped being obedient after my hair changed and encouraged the rest to do the same. They offered me a deal—if Roxas 'failed' and I stopped fighting, he'd get to go home. Roxas lost his memories and his vision. He disappeared.

When no one was left unchanged, me and the other five were separated from the rest and started training with artificial relics. Four of them turned into Demonic Beasts. The two of us who didn’t, we exhibited crests and were moved to another group.

There were fifteen of us, then. Fifteen successes. We were all branded with our crests and a number and for the next three years all we did was train. Other girls joined, never more than two at a time. We were told whoever had the best results by a certain time would get to leave. Not exactly the truth but I'm here now."

Kishi stayed quiet. Experimentation on kids? He groaned, "Edelgard... Was she one of the others?"

"She was the first. It wasn't the same for her. She already had a Crest. I think Lysithea from Golden Deer House as well. I'd ignore the rumors, but the white hair? There’s your proof ...I dye mine. I hate the Crest and what it means for me. There is very little I wouldn't do to take those people down...but protecting my family comes first. Only Vanitas knows I'm alive, because his owl found me and the others are safer for it. He got them to move into hiding right before I joined your class. I was free to make my own choices after that, because they couldn't go after them anymore. Cut my own path."

Xion made a little more sense to Kishi. He distractedly touched his hair.

"Earlier this year Edelgard pulled me aside and asked me about my crest. She seemed really surprised when I told her I didn't have one."

"Remember when I asked if your hair was always white? No one has white hair in Enbarr."

She pulled a book out and handed it to him. The same one she'd demanded he give back months ago.

"I drew them and what happened to them."

He didn't want to look. He remembered some of her drawings. Kishi turned his head and wouldn't touch the book.

"The ones who asked you to spy on Edelgard... Was Monica one of them?"

"...I think so. Only because Solon was with her in the forest and Solon was. I never met him, but they talked about him like he scared them. He, and someone called Thales."

"...I guess it wasn't actually Monica. The real Monica was probably killed a long time ago."

“The real one went missing last year. I wouldn't get your hopes up."

His blood ran cold for a second.

"Why are you telling me all of this now?" Kishi asked.

"It's a dangerous secret to be keeping and maybe the Kingdom will find it useful somehow. War means my family's safety isn't guaranteed anyway and they knew I wasn't cooperating when Solon realized I changed classes."

"So why tell me?"

"...how likely do you think it is that the others will believe it?" she asked.

"That's why you told me? To get my opinion on whether or not your story is believable? Xion, you don't even know where my allegiance is!" he was a little more frantic, like he wasn't even sure himself.

"I told you because you're the only one I'm sure will believe. Where your allegiance lies doesn't matter. Maybe I just want to have someone else know. Even if we're not friends anymore."

He looked at her with concern.

"Why don't you think we're friends anymore?" he asked carefully.

"What else was I supposed to get from our last talk?

He felt like his heart was being ripped out hearing her say that and he wanted to correct her, but he also knew how dangerous it was for him to have anyone close to him right now. For the same reason she hadn’t told her family everything, he had people to protect too. With Edelgard's declaration of war against the Church and the rest of Fodlan earlier this month, Kishi had to be even more careful. Xion had a family out there and had been through so much tragedy already, to put her in the crossfire would be wrong. What was more important: her life or their friendship?

Kishi looked down sadly, heart aching, and mumbled, "Yeah, that's right I'm glad you got the message."

"Were we ever friends? Or were you just messing around?" She didn't know which answer would be worse.

He kept his head down so his hair would hide his face.

"I guess I'm more like Sylvain than you thought."

"Stay here awhile. People shouldn't see us walking back together." Xion bit her lip and walked away. She wouldn't cry until she made it to her room. She forgot the book.

He stayed out there until he felt cold, well into the night. Then he picked up her book and headed into town. 

* * *

_ 3/31 - To War _

Kishi raced to get in line. He was late and at the worst possible time. The Blue Lions stood together in front of the monastery. The Empire's army—and Edelgard herself—were nearing the gate.

Xion felt like she was full of sand. Until the war was over, or she was discovered, she'd be lying and risking herself, but she couldn't truly stand with Edelgard. Not when she chose to work with the same people who had abused them and continued to take children and others to their deaths.

Kishi was less than pleased when Byleth sent him with Xion along the right flank. He couldn't look at her. Xion, too, didn't look at anyone; just followed her orders.

They barreled through enemies together. Kishi grunted as he took a sizeable hit to his arm but he did his best to ignore the gash. They kept surging ahead and right into Hubert.

Xion saw Hubert approaching and landed before walking to him. Kishi saw her and quickly got between them with his horse, admittedly confused that she’d surrender the higher mobility steed in the middle of battle and unwilling to let Hubert get to her.

"Move, Rowe," she snapped. Kishi looked at Hubert with fear and then down at her.

"No."

He looked around to make sure no one was looking and then yelled to Hubert, "Not her! Edelgard promised!"

"She made her own decision to come with us. Stop making a scene unless you want to revisit your contractual obligations," Hubert replied, his voice oozed and dripped as he spoke. The knight to be felt his heart sink and he looked down at Xion in alarm. She ducked under the horse, probably not the safest thing to do. She hadn't paid attention to the exchange.

Saladin didn't like her under him at all. The horse tossed and kicked at her and Kishi had to drop his weapon to get the animal back under control. It put him severely off balance and an archer took advantage to take a shot. It hit him in chest just under his shoulder and knocked him off the horse.

Hubert shot flames under the steed's feet, sending the animal running and leaving Kishi in a heap on the ground by himself.

Xion moved to help him up. Regardless of how much she was hurting, she couldn't leave him there. He tried to kick her away, one hand pressing on his chest around the arrow to try and keep the shaft from moving too much. Hubert was already stalking forward with a couple Empire soldiers.

"We said we would take care of her. We never agreed to offer you the same courtesy. We're taking him too."

The soldiers yanked Kishi roughly to his feet and pulled his arms behind his back. Kishi bit his tongue to keep from crying out. He wasn't giving Hubert the satisfaction. Xion could hear that, at least.

"Hubert. Do I want to know what that meant?" Not that she couldn't figure it out. She was already playing a part.

"There's no need. A deal was struck and fulfilled; it bears no further discussion." He turned back to Kishi, looking him over with disdain. He barked instructions at the two soldiers, and they started dragging Kishi along. He dug his heels in, glaring at Hubert until the oily snake looked briefly at Xion with a cold grin. Kishi's eyes widened in fear for a second before he hung his head in defeat and stopped fighting, letting himself get dragged away, a prisoner of war to be used later as a bargaining chip.

Xion walked back to her wyvern.

"Straight to Enbarr, right?"  _ Kishi made a deal concerning me. Probably the same deal I made for Roxas. _

"Yes, for you," Hubert confirmed. He returned to the fight. Church reinforcements were starting to show up.

Xion mounted up and took off for the capital. She had a long mission and a long flight ahead of her. Though she was already making plans to get Kishi free, they were a ways off. She could see the battlefield below. The army pouring in. The dragon—dragon?!(italics) She and the wyvern dove out of the way of that. Nope. Not dealing with it. Not long after she heard the Professor scream and her heart sank.

Kishi was dragged to the back of the supply chain where there were a couple of carriages rigged with metal cages. He was dragged up into one and a soldier chained him to the floor by his wrists before closing the door and locking him in. The Empire wasn't taking a lot of prisoners it seemed. The cage was small, only designed for maybe two prisoners...or six if they crammed in super tightly. Most of the students were allowed to flee, any who resisted were killed. He sat up a bit, trying to breathe around the arrow in his chest. Removing it would risk bleeding out, so he had to deal with it until they considered medical attention. Kishi wasn't a very good hostage if he was dead so he knew there wasn't any risk of dying unless he took care of it himself. Pain was another story. He knew that Hubert didn't like him and Edelgard was unlikely to take a personal interest in him outside of his use as an heir to House Rowe.

He closed his eyes, listening to the distant battle. His friends and classmates would live... hopefully. Kishi had petitioned for their lives too. Not that it mattered, Xion was one of  _ them _ anyway. When he warned her that they might be on opposite sides he hadn't considered that she would go back to the Empire so easily.

With a pained sigh, he settled into his new home.

The roars from a distance made Kishi jerk to try and sit up a little more but the ache in his chest and arm made that impossible and he just tried to watch from over his shoulder while Empire troops raced back and forth. After what felt like a long time, the sounds in the distance died off and a pair of soldiers came to the prison carriages with an unconscious Rhea. They put the Archbishop in a separate carriage from Kishi. He tried to get up to make sure she was ok but a gruff guard slammed an ax against the bars as a warning for Kishi to calm down. Not long after, Rhea's carriage pulled away, headed to Enbarr with an escort of Mages.

It was dark when Hubert came to greet Kishi. He brought along a mage who climbed into the cage to get the arrow free and stuff the wound with a clean towel. He was locked back in again and his cart started moving West. Edelgard wasn't wasting any time taking over Fodlan.


	12. Six Months Later

Kishi bolted upright. He was panting and covered in a light sheen of sweat. It was late at night... maybe early morning... and nightmares were keeping him up again. The bed creaked some as he rolled off it and went to the basin to splash his face with water. His left arm still didn't work completely right after the arrow he took during the Fall of Garreg Mach Monastery. There was a knotted, tight scar there from the shoddy medical attention.

A few months ago, Edelgard and the Empire had arrived at the gates of the fortress city Arianrhod, the Silver Maiden, and he had been dragged out and put on display, forced to kneel in front of the Emperor while she threatened to kill him on the threshold. Kishi had expected to die screaming right then and there. His Grandfather was a good knight who valued duty to his master above all else. He wouldn't give up the city for a kid, even his own blood, but a trusted advisor to the royal family, Cornelia, had ordered Lord Gwendal to save Kishi's life and swear fealty to the Empire for the safety of the city.

With the city's lord on the Empire's payroll, Kishi's value dropped to virtually nothing. Even his Grandfather was ashamed of him and Kishi was locked up in the city's castle, in one of the higher peaks under constant guard. It was barely a life and on more than one occasion Kishi considered jumping. Once Kishi confessed to his Grandfather his involvement in helping the Empire start their war and invade the monastery, even Gwendal suggested that Kishi's life would have more meaning and honor if he killed himself.

It had left Kishi depressed, shamed, and little more than a prisoner left to be forgotten. At this point he was just going through the motions.

He splashed more water on his face and then collapsed back on his bed with a groan, melting into the mattress.

A few hours later, his guard pounded on the door and demanded he be dressed in two minutes. He glanced at the door with some disgust and pulled himself up.

There were some advantages to house arrest. He still got a lot of the comforts most nobles had, including clean clothes and three meals a day. He tugged on pants, some taller riding boots, a shirt, and then a jacket over that. He wasn't permitted any armor or ornaments, only simple clothes a step above common wear.

He washed his face to help himself wake up and checked his reflection. Kishi's hair had been cut short not long after he had been caught. It was easier to maintain that way. It stuck out in every direction, but he did his best to keep it from looking too wild, smoothing it in the front. Satisfied, he sleepily went to the door and knocked on it to tell the guard he was ready for whatever.

Xion opened the door and walked to the middle of the room. Her hair had grown out but not been dyed, too hard to find any dye on the front.

"I have questions about—" she turned to the guard, "What are you still doing here?" He started explaining protocol before she cut him off.

"No. I don't think you understand. I'm not a general, I'm a member of the Strike Force. The information I'm looking for is sensitive and well above your rank. You'll wait at the bottom of the tower, then come check on him once I'm done," she snapped. The guard left and Xion pressed her ear to the door to make sure he went downstairs. After a few minutes, she turned to him.

Kishi stood there blinking in alarm as he tried to process who he was looking at. When he put it together, he looked away and stood still, a sort of mock attention. Maybe Edelgard was finally through with him and Xion was here to kill him. It was fitting in a way. His heart hurt at the thought, but he hung his head in a resigned fashion, accepting his fate.

"You look terrible. Better figure it out in the next two months."

"Baker... Xion. If you're here to kill me, just end it quickly please. I don't have any more information that benefits the Empire..."

"I'm not here to kill you. Officially, I'm here to get information on your brother. In reality, I'm giving you an escape plan."

"The best thing you can do for me is leave your knife and go," he said softly. She took a few steps and slapped him across the face.

"There's a lot of work going into getting you out of here and people already getting into the right places. You're not wasting that and you're not dying. You have to make it up to the rest of the class first."

He slowly turned to look at her with a surprised look on his face. D-Did she just...? He reached up and rubbed his cheek lightly.

"I don't... Why should I believe you? I have no reason to believe that you'd do anything to help me after what I did and said."

"I'm not here because I have any stock in you, Rowe. I'm here because I was the best one to get this information to you."

Ah there it was and, in a way, it hurt more than anything else, but that was his fault too. He pushed her away in the first place believing it would protect her and she ended up on the front lines anyway. Selling out his friends and family, the goddess, everything, in the end it was a waste.

"I'm not going," he said sadly. He turned around so he wouldn't have to face her, and she couldn't slap him again.

"Yes you are."

"I have no reason to trust you and you have no reason to trust me," he said, trying to put what little courage he had left in his voice, "I don't have any information on my brother, ma'am. I haven't been in contact with him for years. I'm sorry, but I don't have anything else to offer you."

"You're going to go because there are twelve people I won't be able to contact in time that are all going to be executed if you aren't ready to go. You're going to go because you have a lot to make up for and neither sitting in here nor dying does anything to change that. You're going to go so you can prove that you can be trusted. You're going to go and prove your strengths are better than your weaknesses. We don't have the Professor anymore and the Kingdom needs more people capable of leadership, even a little bit. You were one of the first in our class to command battalion. They asked for you."

He whipped around, tears in the very corner of his eyes.

"How would you even know that?! Everything I did, I did to protect them, and you and it meant nothing because you're one of them anyway! Once an Empire brat always an Empire brat, huh? Look I get it, you hate me, you hate what I did and said but this false hope shit just isn't fair! I am broken already, there's nothing left to mock! I pushed everything I loved away to protect it and I am an empty husk of myself! Letting me out and stabbing me in the back is hardly kind. If you ever cared about me, you'd let me take my own life and just be done with it, so I have at least an ounce of control over my own fate before I die!" He panted a bit before his shoulders slumped and he hung his head again.

"Please... don't tease me like this," Kishi begged.

"I'm not. Most of my family's hiding in the kingdom, currently in Fraldarius territory. I'm the best spy the Kingdom has because of my rank in the Empire. The night at the Goddess Tower I was going to ask you to be my contact. That's why I wanted to talk to you after that."

His chest felt tight. It was stupid to still care about anything honestly. His grandfather all but disowned him, Riku had abandoned everything and disappeared, Xion was all business. She didn't care about him; she probably never did. He was always a means to an end. Kishi felt nothing but near crippling regret. He wanted to curl up on his bed and just waste away, but she was right. This was largely his fault. He needed to atone.

"Alright," he whispered, "What do you need me to do?"

"Hide this somewhere the guards won't search." She took a dagger out of—somewhere, sure that he wouldn’t use it inappropriately now. "In the next two months, you need to start getting muscle mass back. You're going to be running and riding. You're going to have two more visitors between now and then and you're going to need to act like nothing's going on." A piece of paper came out. "The actual escape I don't know the details of. I don't know a lot of what goes on in the other side of the front. It saves lives if I get caught. These are instructions and a letter from Sylvain."

He nodded solemnly and took the things from her.

She turned to leave and paused in the doorway, mumbling a bit, "He said the brass was actually from you. I still use it."

He jumped a little in alarm and looked after her for a second. There was a little glimmer of hope in his eyes for a brief moment before he looked away again.

"I know it doesn't mean much but I'm sorry."

"Prove it. Be at the monastery at the promised time." She disappeared down the stairs.

Xion only communicated orders and information. Very little reached the Kingdom about her. Six months before what should have been the millennium festival, they received a drawing of a jail cell and nothing after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Woo! Good job everyone! That concludes White Clouds. For those who have played Fire Emblem: Three Houses, the rest of the fic will be Azure Moon with some blending of Verdant Wind at the end. 
> 
> There will be spoilers.
> 
> I mean, there already have been but still, heads up. 


	13. Ethereal Moon 1185

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reunion

Kishi pushed the horse through the woods. He was wearing his paladin armor and was geared for travel. He knew he was late. The date had crept up on him and he was mid-mission when he had realized. As a result, Kishi had to run through the night, a day, and another night. The horse was tired, he was tired, but he wasn't about to be the last one there, not after five years.

The sounds of fighting got his attention soon enough. The village just outside the monastery... Kishi turned and ran that way instead. Distantly, he could make out Sylvain’s bright orange hair and see the glow of the Sword of the Creator.

The same fight attracted Xion's attention from the other direction. She was walking with a limp but still broke out to a run. Was that Annette on the other side of town? Maybe. She couldn't go faster at this point.

_ The Professor??? Byleth was alive!  _ Kishi’s breath caught for a minute before he rushed in to help, cutting his way through an assassin.

Xion took a while to get there. By the time she did, she'd picked out all her classmates at some point—and the Professor. She'd heard her scream as she left the monastery, Xion was told Byleth died—but she was here, and she was alive. Xion joined the fight, axe swinging.

As the class converged on the hideout, Kishi was able to pick out others. Sylvain, Felix, and Ingrid he saw frequently, but Ashe, Mercedes, Annie, Dimitri, and Xion he hardly recognized. It had been so long since her hair had been dyed, all the color had long since washed out....no Dedue... He frowned and focused on securing one of the hideout escapes as he heard clashing from inside.

The Professor and Dimitri were whirlwinds. They tore through the bandits, leaving the area quiet. Most of the others rushed forward to greet the Professor but Kishi felt awkward and uncomfortable. He did his best to blend in with the background, even when the class moved up to the cathedral.

Xion fell behind when they moved simply because she couldn't keep up at the time.

Everyone was welcoming, except for Dimitri. He was less inclined to be happy and sulked off early. The others passed around greetings and started to update the Professor on what had happened. Plans were beginning to form as well. Kishi didn't participate. He stayed behind the others with his head down and nodding politely when addressed. His hair was still short, but he had a new scar along his left cheekbone and his armor was asymmetrical to allow for his weaker arm to move more comfortably.

Xion had to find a place to sit and get off her ankle. She expected to not be recognized immediately and she was right. She'd been on the road a month following her escape. She'd find new clothes tomorrow. Her hair was much longer now and braided down her back. She was much more social than Kishi. It was nice to talk to people she could be her full self around.

Once people realized it was her, they engaged with her more, full of praise. Felix and Sylvain had kept everyone in the loop about the spy and who it was so there was a lot of praise for her to be had. Kishi used it as a distraction to slip away to the stables to take care of all their horses. 


	14. Guardian Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:  
> New Year’s Resolution  
> Rain  
> Upgrades  
> Working too hard  
> The Delusional Prince

1/4 - New Year’s Resolution

Kishi spent all his time serving. He cleaned, he cooked, and rarely did he make it back to his dorm to rest, often just leaning against a wall somewhere to grab a quick nap where he could and then back to work. Part of it was the Professor's punishment. He had come clean to her in private, admitting his role in the initial invasion.

It had been Kishi who helped Edelgard move her troops nearby, he had altered the guard schedules, and spread rumors that had scattered some of the Knights, among other things. At the time, he had Edelgard's word that none of the students would be harmed, especially the Blue Lions, but things had obviously gone south.

The Professor had been forgiving but stern and now he was back to what he had been doing for the last four and a half years: trying to atone. He was always good with livestock, so his priority was maintaining the mounts and their equipment. Kishi was working on the Wyverns early that morning, scrubbing scales and replacing worn leather on saddles. Sylvain had brought him food and was reading a book nearby, quietly keeping him company without being overbearing.

He had been good about that. Sylvain and Felix had taken Kishi under their wing in a sense, acting as commanding officers so that Kishi wouldn't be taken advantage of in his subservient mindset over the years. Sylvain had more than forgiven him and while the nature of their friendship had changed, they were still good friends.

Xion was mostly spending her days trying to work herself back into shape. Five months in prison and a month on the road weren't great for staying in fighting shape. Today, the Professor advised her to see the Wyverns and try to ride again. She greeted Sylvain at the door and paused when she saw Kishi.

Sylvain put his book down. He knew there was serious animosity there and he got up.

"You don't have to go in there," he assured her, "I can go get whatever you need."

"I can't avoid him forever and I kind of do need to go in, I need to figure out which one I'll be using from now on."

He winced a little.

"Just go on easy on him." Sylvain sat back down, but he avoided reading so he could clearly supervise from a distance. Kishi was very focused on a spirited young dragon who wasn’t happy to have the old hide removed. He was gently working off the flaky skin with a wire brush. The stables were warm but Kishi stayed in full armor and gloves regardless of the temperature.

"She's going to bite you if don't grab her antlers," Xion said from behind him. He just about jumped out of his skin and the wyvern took advantage to whip around and bite him. Nothing severe. It didn't even get through the armor and she let go quickly. When he got his arm back, he tucked his head, bowing some in respect.

"Sorry, I didn't see you come in," he apologized.

"You look awful. Heads up and don't turn your back on a wyvern who's trust you don't have." She stepped up to it and reached for the antlers, gently rubbing them.

He obeyed. With the Wyvern more safely restrained now, he timidly got back to work with the brush, rubbing in quick little circles. He avoided eye contact with her though, only stealing little glances.

"You changed your hair," he observed quietly with a shaky voice.

"Just grew out. If I could keep it black I would, but hair dye becomes rather hard to find on the front." She stayed at the head. She didn't look at him, but she didn't look angry, just troubled.

"Were you looking for a Wyvern?" he asked softly. Kishi gently double checked he got all the loose skin and then stood up straight to put the brush away.

Xion nodded and said, "I have to be ready to fight at my best, and my best is in the air."

He pulled this Wyvern's saddle out and threw it up into her shoulders. Even if she didn't have a rider, all the mounts were geared up in shifts to ensure everyone was always ready. He started adjusting the straps. Kishi made a tsk noise when he found a broken one and took the saddle off, putting it back on the stand to remove the strap and make a new one.

"There's an experienced one out grazing right now you can have. A couple who lost their riders... This one doesn’t have anyone either," he was mumbling a bit and his hands were shaking. Kishi was in excellent shape but her being here was making him anxious. Even after years of trying to accept what she said, he knew they weren't friends and probably wouldn't be again. It was the same feeling he had around Ingrid when they broke up, heartache. He took a deep breath and focused on cutting the new leather out of a big prepared sheet.

"You know, we're going to have to actually talk at some point," Xion told him.

He paused for a second mid cut and then finished with the knife. The rough cut came free and he rolled up the extra, pushing it back on the table so he could work on the strip he needed.

"What do you want to talk about?" he asked quietly.

Satisfied, that there didn't seem to be any trouble starting, Sylvain politely excused himself to give them some privacy.

"What was said. What happened. I know you're sorry, but I don't know how much of it was a lie. I know you made a deal to protect me, but not why." Xion was still looking at the wyvern.

Kishi was still looking at the leather. He paused, a little distant while he remembered bad days. He was even using the dagger she had given him to escape with. Kishi took a deep breath and kept working the strip, trimming it to make it look a little nicer and fit a little bit better.

"I loved you," he said quietly, voice almost breaking but he kept it together. He reached over to grab a couple more leather working tools, punching holes in the strap for the buckles.

She sighed, finally looking to him.

"Then why go so far with your words that night?" Hearing her sigh made his heart sink again. It was ripping open wounds that never really healed. 

"Edelgard and Hubert made it clear they wanted to use me to turn my family. I didn't trust them to not take hostages to make me cooperate." He swallowed a lump in his throat and then brought the strap and a pen over to the Wyvern. He was still avoiding looking at her as he measured the strap and marked a couple places to trim.

"I guess it didn't matter in the end. I still helped them, they still used me, and I still lost everything I ever cared about." He went back to the bench and dug around in a crate under it for some wool padding.

"You can still get it back," she tried to reassure him. He almost stabbed himself with the leatherworking needle by mistake as he attached the padding.

"My Grandfather disowned me, my brother has disappeared, I don't have any family left and the King I was born and raised to serve wants to crush my skull for being a traitor. I can't possibly trust myself and every day is agony. I'm haunted by the people who lost their lives the day the war started." He trimmed the loose wool and walked back to the Wyvern to test the fit again before moving to attach it to the harness.

"The day the war ends and I've exhausted my usefulness, I'm going to join them," he said softly. Kishi brought the saddle back to the Wyvern and threw it up onto her shoulders, adjusting the fit and tightening the straps.

"How does that fix anything?"

"Maybe I'll finally find some peace." He grabbed a set of reins and clipped them to the Wyverns halter. It was the closest he had been to Xion since she slapped him, and it was taking all his strength to hide his shaking.

"The saddle needs to be tested with proper weight," Kishi said. He offered her the reins. She took them from him.

"For what it's worth, I'm sorry too." She pulled a now very worn brass out and attached it to the wyvern's harness before leading her to the gate and mounting up.

He watched them take off and then grabbed a rake to start mucking the stable. As he worked, he realized, he didn't ask her about how she had been.

"That went better than expected," Sylvain said from the stall door. Kishi didn't answer him. "Kishi, I know you're not over her." Still no answer.

"Do you want me to keep her away from you?" Sylvain asked, a little more gently.

Kishi responded with a defeated voice, "We're back at the monastery, no matter what we try I'll probably run into her every Saturday until the end of the war."

Sylvain chuckled, "well, with the Professor and his Highness back that day might not be far off and then you're coming back to Gautier to be my top knight right?"

"Whatever you want Sylvain," he responded distantly. All his focus on his chores. Sylvain settled back down with his book.

Xion knew this wyvern was young. Probably hatched around the same time the war started. It was cold but dry. No clouds out today and no snow on the ground. She wasn't quite sure what to think or how to act. She wasn't spying, she wasn't rehearsed for the first time in years and she had to figure herself out again. She still didn't hate him. She'd tried, years ago, but most of the anger had burned itself out long ago and left behind the hurt. It still hurt to talk to him, to see him. He was her first friend after four years. Her best friend and she still hadn't picked all the pieces up from having that broken. She wanted to, but she didn't know how to start.

Kishi finished the stalls by mid-afternoon and got food put out for all the horses, Pegasi, and Wyvern. With no one else around, his entourage were more willing to come out. Three of the kittens had survived the long years and they recognized Kishi. They followed him around while he did chores and brought him mice they caught. They were a comfort where he was otherwise very lonely.

* * *

1/11 - Rain

The rain had caught Kishi off guard. He had barely been able to get the animals inside the stables and by the time he got into the hay barn he was soaked through. His kittens watched him from the pile of hay where they had been dry the whole time.

He grumbled a bit and started talking off his armor to let it dry. He never, ever, ever took off any armor unless he was alone. Hence the hiding in the hay barn. One of the black cats meowed at him and hopped down to rub on his legs.

Kishi tugged the gloves off and started setting his clothes out on the hay bales to dry. It was too cold to strip completely so he left his undershirt and pants on. Then he started wringing out his hair. It still felt like there were puddles in his boots, but they could wait an extra second while he settled down. The smaller of the two black cats meowed more persistently, demanding to be fed.

Xion, on the other hand, was walking around in lounge wear again. She was absolutely soaked through when she heard cats and went to investigate.

"Are these the cats I remember you cuddling?" she asked when she poked her head into the barn.

Kishi dove onto his jacket, scrambling to get covered.

"X-Xion!" Oh goddess, it was Saturday and he totally forgot.

"You're acting like I caught you in the buff. Am I that scary or is something else going on?"

He yanked the jacket and his bracers on, more comfortable with his arms covered.

"What are you doing here??" he asked, trying to be more submissive than accusing.

"I was enjoying the rain and I heard cats."

The one cat was still standing there. The other two were hiding now. Kishi’s scrambling had spooked them. She meowed again. Still eager to eat regardless of the new company.

"Y-yeah... She's noisy when she's hungry."

"Are they the same cats we cared for?"

"Y-yeah they are..." he shuffled a little in the awkward. He was shivering and cold and soaked. For someone who didn't like the cold she was oddly comfortable.

"Hey, listen... I'm sorry I talked so much last time. I should've asked you how you were. I was too wrapped up in myself to consider you probably went through worse than I did..." he started.

"...I don't know what you've been through since the tower. I was a spy, I was caught, I broke out of jail. That's what happened. I spared anyone I fought where I could. I got to know the eagles. Fighting them now will be hard, but I haven't had to yet."

She made it sound like no big deal. She was so much stronger than he could ever be. She was able to move among the enemy and deceive them and come out in the other side unscathed. He broke on day 1 and had scars on his arms to prove it.

"You saved a lot of people with the information you sent back," he said softly. He walked over to a pair of crates. One held most of his belongings, the other was cat food and horse treats. He opened the latter to start getting food for the cats. The black cat meowed more urgently and purred around his legs in approval.

"It was my job. I was... actually, I wasn't happy doing it. I was pretty miserable, but I believed in what I was doing and blocked most of the rest out." It's what she'd been doing for a long time. She picked a direction and went, just carrying more and more. Xion knew she couldn't keep it up forever but she couldn't afford to stop and take care of all the baggage until she reached her goal.

He looked over at her, really looked at her for the first time since before they got locked in the stupid closet. He wanted to help but he was too broken to help anyone else right now.

"I wish there was something I could do." Kishi turned back to the food, putting some fish in a dish on the ground for the cat.

"Me too. What did you do, after?"

"After what?" he asked.

"After escaping." He sat down on one of the hay bales that was covered with a blanket.

"I ran to Fraldarius, met up with Sylvain and joined the army under Rodrigue. Free time I spent working with mercenaries protecting this little village in Fraldarius territory." He wasn't sure it was appropriate to tell her he found her family. He hadn't met them to confirm it was them, but he had specifically chosen to guard that village to protect them on her behalf as part of his personal atonement.

Xion nodded and said, "I'm glad the cats remember you and I was glad to see you here for the reunion." She walked back into the rain.

"Y-You should wait until the rain stops."

"I like the rain and the wind. Makes the cold bearable. It's why I was always climbing to ridiculous places in the academy. I spent four years trapped inside and later found out that it was inside a cave as well. The rain and wind tell me I can't possibly be there."

He couldn't argue that but managed an, "Oh..."

"Did you have something else you wanted to talk about?"

Actually, yeah… he asked her, "Did you ever like me?"

"Yeah. I did. You were my first friend after getting out." She scratched her arm and explained, "I'm not sure I would have dated you, but there were other reasons. Not to do with you specifically but in general."

"Do you hate me now?"

"Never have. I was angry—I was so angry, and I hated how I treated you in the tower once the anger burned out."

"You were right to," he looked away as he spoke, "There's nothing else."

"You made the same deal for me that I once made for Roxas. I have no right to hold it against you."

"In the end it didn't matter," Kishi said sadly.

"You made a bad decision. Most people will make those in their lives."

"Do you regret making the same deal for Roxas?"

"... sometimes, I wonder. If I hadn't, would it have made a difference? We were kids fighting against trained personnel but maybe. Maybe there's something we could have done. Maybe Roxas would still remember and some of them would still be alive but I'll never know, because I decided to have one guaranteed survivor over twenty potential. Sometimes I hate it. How could I have picked Roxas over all the other kids? And sometimes I'm sure it was right," Xion answered.

Kishi thought about that and then realized it didn't matter. Their situations weren't really all that relatable. Roxas had been helpless, Xion wasn't. The cost had been a few others for Xion, for Kishi it was all of Fodlan. Xion’s sacrifice had mattered. He lit a match to his entire life to defend a girl who didn't need defending. He had sacrificed the world for a girl who could never love him back.

So that's what dying felt like.

He tucked his head so his bangs would hide his face.

"Have a good rest of your day Xion. I'm sure I will see you again next week."

"Next week, I guess. You too, Rowe." She walked out. He chased after her.

"Xion! It's Kishi. I'm sorry to correct you, but I'm not associated with House Rowe anymore." His voice was extremely pained, he was choking back tears for a lot of reasons.

"Just Kishi, or soldier, or stable boy but not... Not Rowe."

"Kishi then."

He nodded a little and then went back inside. Now that he was for sure alone, he went ahead and stripped down to dry, stretching out on his hay bale bed with his cats to rest.

* * *

1/18 - Upgrades

Xion was at the blacksmith's stall, repairing and upgrading a hand axe.

Kishi was very wrapped up in himself. He didn't notice her even though he was approaching the same blacksmith.

"Good morning," he greeted the blacksmith.

"Kishi! Um, hold on, I have your order right over here." The man took a second to wipe his hands off before digging around for a massive set of shields and a silver axe.

"Thanks," Kishi said, handing him a tip.

"Still trying for great knight?" Xion asked him. He snapped out of his near trance and looked at her in surprise.

"Yeah," he said softly. Kishi picked up the equipment and added it to a handcart.

"You're free to work on bows more if you want, now," she reminded him.

"I swore an oath to be the Kingdom’s shield a long time ago." He loaded the axe and offered her a tired smile.

"Picking something up? There's room in the cart," he offered.

"A hand axe. It's not done yet. Are you getting enough sleep?" The irony of her asking that wasn't lost on her. He dodged the question. New personal rule was to not lie anymore but he also didn't want anyone worrying over him. He didn't believe he was worthy of the concern.

"I have more things to pick up. I can come back around when I'm done."

"Where are you taking this?"

"Back to the monastery when I'm done with the shopping."

"Where in the monastery, Kishi." Xion paid the smith.

Her firmer tone startled him for a second, but it was a welcome reminder that they weren't friends and he needed to remember he was outranked here.

"Near the stables to the right of the entrance hall there's a spot for the carts. I park and unload from there. Would you like me to circle around to pick up your weapon when I'm done getting the other groceries?"

"...that would be nice, thank you." She stuck around, though.

He nodded politely and then picked up the cart handle to start pushing it around town. He was doing a lot of the bulk shopping for the monastery these days and he had a long list of things the kitchen staff needed. With it being wartime, he didn't have high hopes of finding all of it.

Xion made a few sparse purchases, mostly seeds. Some of the food could be grown in the greenhouse and anything was welcome at this point to save money.

Anything and everything that he bought he put in the cart, filling it up as best he could. With his limited personal spending money, Kishi also picked up a new chess board and pieces. He added them to the pile. There was no talking aside from bartering.

"Do you play chess?" she asked him when he bought the board game.

"It's for Sylvain," he explained.

"You're still friends, then?"

"He might be my best friend," he said softly.

"...oh." she looked down and scratched her arm.

Her reaction made him think he had said something inappropriate and he backpedaled, "I mean, for a superior officer at least. He's really good to me."

"You don't have to explain it."

"I just don't want you to think I'm being disrespectful..."

"Why would I think that?"

"I'm talking casually about someone who outranks me by a lot."

"Ranks are bullshit. The only thing they really determine is how much information you're allowed to get," she huffed.

He wanted to argue but ironically, she outranked him and he did care about rank so he just stayed quiet, focusing on organizing the handcart in the most efficient way possible.

"It's good that you have someone."

"People were never meant to be alone," he said quietly. "I'm done here. Hopefully your hand axe is done."

She just nodded. He pushed the cart back to the blacksmith and greeted him. The smith apologized for the delay, but it wasn't quite done.

"If you want to head back, I can wait for it," Kishi offered.

"Thank you. Sorry for the trouble." She turned to go.

He was not going to say anything that might backfire, so he stayed quiet and propped the handcart up on a barrel before sitting down on the ground beside it to try and snooze some while he waited.

It took another hour, but the blacksmith finished, woke Kishi up, and sent him on his way. Kishi pushed the full cart back up the hill and parked it before delivering the things he bought. Xion's weapon he put in the armory and wrote a note that he pinned to her dorm room door. Then he headed to the stables to finish tending to the animals.

* * *

1/25 - Working Too Hard

Xion was on top of the pass between the Knight's Hall and the reception hall, staring off to the horizon.

It was late in the evening. The Sun had set but there was still light in the sky.

Kishi was late getting his chores done. It wasn't entirely his fault. The Knights were late getting their horses turned in and Kishi was scrambling to get them all put away while impatient Knights berated him for his sluggishness. One of the cats was following Kishi around, back and forth as he ran horses to stalls, getting them put away before he dealt with their equipment.

Xion dropped between trips. Well, climbed most of the way and dropped the last ten feet.

"Hey. Make sure all the tack's easy to get ready again."

"I think I know how to do my job," Kishi started to snap as he turned around. His eyes widened when he saw Xion and his shoulders slumped a little bit.

"Yeah I will," he said a little more gently.

"I know you can. There's smoke on the west horizon. I think it's an Empire camp. I'm going to check it out but I'm not sure how far it is. We need to tack up fast if it's close."

"I have a full set of fresh horses already tacked up in case the Knights need to move quickly," he assured her, keeping his voice soft and subservient, "And I'll be sure to get these horses fed and rested, and their tack cleaned right away." He started taking saddles and armor off the tired horses. Their feed bins were already full, and they were able to eat while he worked.

"And please get some sleep. Most people don't function on so little." She couldn't get ‘I'm worried’ out right.

"I'm not most people," he said with a little bit of jest as he got another saddle off a horse. As he walked between the tack room and the stables, he stole bites of his dinner. Sylvain was still keeping an eye on him in that regard and brought him food periodically. A couple of books were on the barrel with the food too. He was trying to study on his breaks.

Xion went to the wyvern tower and flew off, only getting back in the early morning.

Kishi dragged himself out of bed when he heard someone flying in early. He didn't even bother paying attention to who it was, just went to meet them and collect the animal to feed and clean them.

Xion dismounted quickly, saying, "They're about a week away. Maybe a week and a half if they're slow, but Randolph's leading them."

Kishi was half asleep and didn't process a word she said. He just took the reins with a yawn and started leading the Wyvern to a stall where he had food and fresh bedding ready.

"Hey." She moved to grab his shoulder but pulled back. "You really should get some sleep."

He took the saddle off and set it aside.

"Yeah, that's a good idea," he said as he closed the stall door behind him, "After the meeting."

"Meeting?"

"You just came back with critical news. I'm assuming the Professor will want to meet with the whole class to discuss some kind of strategy." He straightened his pauldron as he walked, adjusting his armor to be at least a little more comfortable.

"... yes, probably." Well. Not waiting weeks between discovery and orders was different. He stopped briefly to splash water from a drinking trough on his face and get a drink himself. It helped wake him up and he walked a little more swiftly towards the dorms to wake up the Professor. Xion jogged to keep up.

"It is not fair that you got so tall," she lamented.

He hadn't even noticed and for half a second things felt normal and he turned to banter with her, a comment about her vertically challenged condition on the tip of his tongue but he remembered his place and stayed quiet. He knocked on the door softly to wake the Professor and then turned to head towards Sylvain’s room to wake him.

Xion stayed at the Professor's door. Byleth came out a little later and Xion gave her a quick summary before a meeting was called.

The meeting was brief. Xion told everyone what she had found, and Gilbert promptly began forming a strategy. Most people went back to bed.

* * *

1/31 - The Delusional Prince

Xion was off to one side on the young wyvern. It was an early morning.

Kishi felt like it had been a long time since he had geared up. He was near Sylvain and Felix, waiting for orders.

There was an oil payload coming later. The idea was to light the ground underneath the Empire. Xion was supposed to clear the way for the soldier with the oil and then join the rest of the army to confront Randolph.

Even with his psychological drawbacks, Kishi was a damn good paladin and once battle started, he had good instincts. It meant he was on the front lines, expected to charge right down the middle to bait the enemy in and then clear a path. For the hundredth time, Kishi found himself missing Saladin. The horse had been one of the casualties five years ago. He hadn't been able to find a suitable replacement since. As Imperial flags became visible, Kishi got the order. He rushed in with no regard for his own life to cause a scene and take down as many as he could. Sylvain and Ashe were right behind him.

It didn't take Xion long to realize they had two archers on ballistas between her and the oil's destination. It didn't take long because she had to dodge arrows all the time. 

_ Fuck fuck fuckfuckfuck.  _ She was hit twice before the first ballista was taken out.

Kishi thought it was weird that the ballista in front of him wasn't aimed his way. He tracked its path to the distant Wyvern and felt his blood run cold. He rushed the weapon against orders and barreled through it with his horse, killing the driver and rendering the tool useless.

"Thank you!" Xion didn't have time to slow down. There were a few more roadblocks to get the soldier past.

Kishi wasn't able to respond. The poor positioning left him extremely exposed and a mage got a clean shot, blasting Kishi and burning him and the horse who thrashed and screamed.

Mercedes sent a healing psychic spell his way. It calmed the horse down thankfully and Kishi was able to push forward again with Ashe’s support.

Not long after, the street ahead of them filled with fire. The Imperial soldiers screamed and howled as they went up. It was hard to listen to.

Xion flew over rooftops to rejoin the Lions. She and Ingrid were supposed to take the front, seeing as the flames didn't bother them. Annie and Sylvain pushed up to deal with the heavily armored units.

The Professor was actively engaging in battle now, so orders were a little more flexible. Kishi watched the others for a second. Dimitri was ripping through people with mindless abandon and it was making Kishi feel a little ill. He looped around the East to cut off a couple soldiers there, taking them out swiftly.

Eventually, it was just Randolph left. Xion hid her face when she heard Dimitri's plans to torture him for information. She was almost glad the Professor ended it there. Almost.

Kishi heard him too. A lot of them did and it made Kishi extra queasy. He owed Sylvain and the others even more for not turning him in. If that's how Dimitri felt towards an Imperial general, what would he do to a Kingdom traitor? Kishi turned around to run a perimeter check, looking for stragglers and checking to be sure the fire wasn't spreading as it burned itself out.

Xion went to Mercedes to get the two arrows pulled.

"You shouldn't have waited so long to take care of these," Mercedes scolded, "Promise me that next time you get hurt, you have to come right to me so I can take care of you."

A lot of the class were coming to Annie, the Professor, Sylvain, or Mercedes for medical attention. Dimitri ignored all of them to storm back to the cathedral.

"We'll see, Mercedes. I don't have a death wish but I'm usually too far away to just turn around."

"Then be more careful at least. We love you so much and don't want you to get hurt."

The class was starting to group up to head back. Xion circled around to the professor. Partly to complain about not having backup to take out the ballistas and partly to make sure Kishi wouldn't be punished for saving her.

Kishi dodged any scolding by not being there. While the rest of the class was heading back, he was giving orders to some squires and lesser ranked/younger knights and knights to be. He dismounted and grouped them up sending them to round up any Imperial mounts they could get. His own horse he sent on ahead to the stables with a squire and he rushed back into the smoldering village to try and calm a couple of ownerless horses.


	15. Pegasus Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:
> 
> Breaking   
> Progress?  
> Rat’s Nest  
> The Valley of Torment

2/8 - Breaking 

Xion was watching a flower crown bob and wave on the pond.

"Hey, Xion," Felix greeted as he passed by. Sylvain stopped.

"Hello Xion," he offered, "You look lovely today." There was some charm there, but it seemed a little more sincere.

"Oh...Hi, guys. Did you need something?" She stood up and brushed herself off.

"Just saying hi," Felix said.

Sylvain winked at her and said, "It would be inappropriate to pass a beautiful lady and not remind her of her beauty."

"... actually, Sylvain, can I talk to you about something more serious?" she asked. He seemed a little taken aback.

"Xion I'm not actually trying to date you, promise." Felix's expression didn't change outside of an eyebrow raising.

"I can go on ahead, Sylvain," he said, taking the bag Sylvain was holding from him and adding it to his back next to his own pack.

"It's not that...I need advice. On Kishi." She scratched her arm and looked down.

Felix looked away and repeated, "I'm... Going on ahead." He started walking towards the gates.

"Kishi? Is he being flighty again?” Sylvain asked, “We're headed that way now if you needed to talk to him about something."

"I mean, yes but finding him isn't really the problem. It's being able to talk to him again."

"If he's ignoring you or refusing to talk to you, I can say something to him about it."

" _ I'm _ having trouble talking to  _ him _ ."

"Oh... He's not talking back," Sylvain nodded some.

"Yes, but no, this is a me problem I'm having. Maybe I'm just lonely and pathetic but being silent around him hurts. I want my friend back but talking to him also hurts because I can't get past what he said to me in the closet and at the Goddess Tower and I  _ hate _ it."

"The closet? What did he say?? We locked you two in there so he could admit his feelings for you. I just assumed by the way he was acting that you rejected him… and this is the first I'm hearing about the Goddess Tower."

"... basically, that we couldn't be friends anymore, and at the Tower... he told me that he was like you, and I was just someone he was messing around with."

Sylvain started laughing, "Like me? Kishi’s nothing like me. Listen, I've known him a long time. Kishi does this thing where he lies to himself out loud cause he thinks saying the words out loud makes them true. He was horribly in love with you five years ago. It put a lot of strain on his relationship with Ingrid and he was ashamed of it. Kishi’s a lot of things but selfish isn't one of them. If he told you those things, he was probably pushing you away for a reason or trying to make it easier for himself to give up, but he's nothing like me. If he was, he wouldn't be so uptight all the time." He winked at her. "He's breaking in and assessing the horses we caught at the village corral, Felix and I were bringing him some food and going to watch. You're more than welcome to come if you want."

"I know that now. My problem is that it still hurts and I don't know how to move past it. My best friend told me our friendship was nothing more than a cruel game and for months I believed that."

"I get that," Sylvain said as he shuffled awkwardly, "I guess you have to decide if it's too much to get past. If it is, then you should give him space for both your sakes. I think the fact you're asking me for advice means you want to, but I can't tell you how to move on. …Would punching him help? Give you that closure? That's what guys do when they're upset. We just fight it out."

"I slapped him while trying to give him the escape plan and still feel bad about it. So no."

Sylvain shrugged.

"I guess it's up to you then how to fix it. Come hang out with us. Watching Kishi work the horses is pretty amazing and it might feel more normal with Felix and I there."

She nodded.

"Maybe. Thank you, Sylvain."

"I hope you figure it out Xion. You’re more beautiful when you're happy. Coming?" He started heading to the gate. She followed him.

The pastures and corrals for the horses were just outside and along the walls between the monastery proper and the village. They were easy to see from the top of the hill. Kishi had about seven horses split between two pens. He was inside one of them talking to Felix who was sitting on the fence. Both of them were eating although Kishi was racing through his meal to get back to work.

Kishi hadn’t had a chance to clean up since the last battle. Work in town and with the animals had gotten crazy. He at least had the common sense to get out of his bloody armor, but his face and hair were grimy and streaked with soot. He was still careful to keep his arms fully covered but he wasn't wearing gloves at least and he swapped out his heavy armored boots for lighter riding boots while he worked on the horses.

"Hey!" Sylvain called with a wave. Kishi waved back from the pen and turned back to Felix for a second before picking up the rope and getting back to work. Xion joined them on the fence. Kishi noticed her and was suddenly very self-conscious and shy.

"Keep acting like that and you're going to get killed," Felix called. Sure enough, one of the more aggressive horses charged Kishi and he barely dove out of the way in time. This horse had been taken from a downed soldier and was fearless and mean but not crazy. (The crazy horses Kishi had in a separate pen to be taken to the butcher.) A horse like this one would be better repurposed but only if Kishi could convince it of such. War horses that were strongly bonded to their fallen rider had to have their trust earned back. He hadn't been able to get to this horse to take its tack and armor off, so it was tired and 100% a tank with four hooves. A big, gorgeous, solid black tank with very sharp hooves.

He tried making soothing noises, stance wide, hands outstretched. The horse seemed to respond to them ok, but it was clearly not happy and kept turning to face Kishi as Kishi tried to get around it. He didn't have time to worry about Xion right now.

Kishi moved in a little too quick and the horse reared up to lash out at him and he ducked underneath the horse to get in close, he scrambled for the saddle to try and pull himself up but the horse spun and Kishi barely was able to hold on. His legs dragged a bit and he grunted as he pulled himself up enough to use the fence to kick up and onto the horse, which promptly tried to buck him off. The rope Kishi had thrown over his shoulder had a monkey's fist knot tied onto one of the ends, he threw it under the horse at an angle and looped a leg through it, tying himself to the horse while it thrashed around. He yanked on the reins trying to get the horse to spin and keep it from having so much control.

"Sylvain!" Kishi yelled, his voice all over the place as he was thrown around, "I found a horse for you!" "Yeah Sylvain," Felix said with a mischievous grin, "Trade places with Kishi."

"I think I'll pass."

Xion hid her mouth and snickered.

The horse hadn't eaten since they caught him so Kishi knew he wouldn't be fight for long. It took the animal about five minutes of fighting to realize that Kishi wasn't going to be coming off early and the horse rolled. Kishi was not expecting that. He twisted his body to avoid being crushed when the horse came down, but his leg and hips were going to be feeling that later. If he hadn't been tied on, Kishi would have been left on the ground but the surprised horse came back up with the man still hanging on. It gave up and stood there wheezing.

"Hey... Hey, there you go, see it's not so bad?" With the horse finally calming down, Kishi was able to work on the armor that was on the horse's neck. He let it fall off and then pet the horse's neck. It shook itself off and made a sighing, wheezing sound. While mounted, Kishi took off whatever armor he could find, letting it fall off so the horse wouldn't have to hold it all anymore. Sylvain and Felix politely applauded, although there was some sarcasm there.

"Is it a keeper?" Sylvain asked.

"Like I said, Sylvain, I think he'd be good for you. If you're still studying to be a Dark Knight."

"Uh... I think maybe a nicer horse would be better..."

"I'll have him ready before your test," Kishi promised. He leaned forward to lay down across the horse's neck. He sat up a second later when he saw the butcher from town approaching.

"Oh, hold up I need to talk to him." The second, Kishi untied the rope to get down, the horse bucked him off and Kishi went flying out of the pen with a surprised yell to skip across the grass. He came to a stop on his back while Felix and Sylvain lost it laughing. Xion slipped off the fence to walk over to him.

"... you okay...?" she asked him.

Kishi groaned a little and sat up. He had grass stains all down his front including his face and hair now. "Can I borrow your shoe?" he asked.

"Uh...sure? Why?" She sat down and took a boot off. He took it and threw it at Sylvain, hitting the red head square in the chest and knocking him off the fence. Sylvain just laughed harder.

"Thanks," Kishi grumbled. He stood up and went to talk to the butcher.

Xion walked to the other boys to ask, "Can I have my shoe back?" Felix hopped down to get it for her. It took Sylvain a second to get back up after he calmed down.

"Is he ok?" he asked Xion around chuckles.

"Well he didn't answer that question but he's up and walking and he can see well enough to hit you."

"People get thrown from horses all the time. Kishi's been taking care of the horses for my father's army since he met up with us a few years back too. He's probably more upset he didn't get launched far enough to break his personal distance record," Felix told her. Kishi was showing the butcher the other pen of horses. There were four of them there that were all cowering back against the far side of the pen. Even from a distance it was clear there was some bartering going on.

"He's always been good with animals," Xion said softly. Maybe they'd have some extra meat soon. Probably a good thing, their food stores were constantly low now.

"Well, he is now," Sylvain said as he got up, "He is absolute garbage with anything with wings." Kishi shook hands with the butcher and then came back over.

"Will you guys help me get these horses to the butcher's pen? They need to be one horse per person."

"Where's the butcher's pen?" Xion slipped her boot back on.

"Other side of town... If that's ok...?" he asked, the submissiveness back. Felix's eyes narrowed some at that.

"Hey," Sylvain reassured him, "of course we'll help. Four horses, four of us. No problem." Kishi smiled slightly with relief and then went to grab a couple extra ropes. He took them over to the pen with the nervous horses and hopped the fence to start catching them. Xion followed quietly.

It took Kishi a few tries to catch them. He had already taken off all their tack and they were numbered via soot markings on their rumps. He didn't want to send the wrong horses to be butchered. They were not happy to be wrangled. Only one of them had a decent temperament but he had a swollen and infected leg. It wasn't going to be healed right and the meat was more valuable than another mouth to feed right now. He handed the lead of the gentler horse to Xion so she wouldn't have to fight an animal the whole way.

Xion held the rope near the head. Her knowledge of horses mainly came from Pegasi, but she assumed they weren't too dissimilar.

Kishi took the most spirited one, ‘spirited’ being code for absolutely insane. It was the last one to catch and fought constantly. He was consistently being pulled off his feet and had to give the horse a lot of rope to avoid being bitten and kicked but eventually they were off. Kishi led the way since his horse was taking the longest to do literally anything. It was, thankfully, a shorter walk and the four horses were eventually put up in a small pen behind the butcher's shop.

"Are you coming back to the monastery right away?" Felix asked Kishi.

"I have to finish up the with the other horses," he told them, "I'll be back for dinner."

"Holding you to that," Sylvain said. He patted Kishi on the back and started heading back.

"Xion, what are you up to?" Felix asked her.

"Probably wyvern training. The one I'm working with is young and needs more experience with maneuvering tight spaces."

"Well if you want to train together, I could use a sparring partner."

"You look for sparring partners like Sylvain used to look for girls."

Felix got a little flustered, "Sparring partners are more important than the girls Sylvain look for."

"I'm not disagreeing with that. If you want to spar, that's fine. I'm up for it."

"Excellent, let's head up to the training grounds."

Xion nodded.

"...see you, Kishi."

"See you," he said quietly. He put his hands in his pockets and headed back to the corrals with the ropes.

* * *

2/15 - Progress?

Kishi had finally accepted help in the stables from younger volunteers to free up time so he could resume his studies and help out in other places. He was currently shining armor and sharpening weapons in the armory.

Xion stepped into the armory from the training grounds. She'd broken her axe. He didn't look up but he heard someone enter.

"If you need something sharpened or cleaned just leave it in the back," he called.

"Should I leave behind my wit, then?"

The grinding stone stopped for a second as he processed the voice. He didn't know how to answer that. "Um, did you need something done?" He looked over his shoulder at her.

"I just needed to replace this." She held up the splintered handle of her training axe.

He got up and came up to her to look at it.

"This might be better for the blacksmith."

"Replace. Not fix. This isn't the one I take into battle, it's cheap and I don't keep it up."

He looked down and mumbled, "Sorry, I misheard..." Kishi turned and went over to a rack of axes and dug up another training ax that he brought to her.

"You don't need to apologize."

"Sorry." He offered her the weapon.

"Stop that." She took the axe. He looked away and stayed quiet, not sure what else to say.

"I'll take care of the broken one," he finally said after a few awkward moments.

She handed it over and added, "I miss talking to you."

He almost dropped it.

"I miss talking to you too," Kishi admitted.

"You treat me differently now and that makes it harder."

"Everything's different now."

"Does it have to be?"

He still wouldn't look at her as he answered, "Yes. The world's on fire, how can it possible be like it was?"

"Isn't that half of why we fight? So it can be normal again?"

"It's not why I fight. It's not why the Empire fights."

"You don't have to treat me like I'm better than I was."

"It's not that you're better. I'm just that much worse."

"You don't have to treat me like I'm better than you, either."

_ That's not the only thing... I'm dying everyday knowing what I did and what will never be. _

"I'll try to do better."

"What does that mean?" Xion asked.

"I'll try to be better about not treating you differently."

"...thank you."

He started to bow his head but realized that would be treating her differently and he caught himself.

"I am going to get back to work."

She nodded.

"I have to go back to training."

He smiled at her awkwardly and then turned around to get back to the grindstone.

"Next week, then." She turned to head back to the training grounds.

"Yeah next week," he mumbled to himself as he focused on his work.

* * *

2/22 - Rat’s Nest

For the first time in a long time, Kishi fell asleep mid chores/studying/eating. He was asleep, head in his hand, elbow on the barrel he was using as a table outside the dining hall. He had a book and a full plate of food in front of him. Xion running out of the kitchen with a string of expletives startled him awake and his face hit his food. He looked around in alarm.

She hadn't noticed him. She was glaring at what was visible of the kitchen floor and scratching her arm.

He looked up at her in a daze and then wiped food off his face.

"Wh-" he started to say before he got nervous and cut himself off, he waited to be noticed instead, pretending he hadn't seen her. She took a few minutes to relax before looking around.

"Can I ask you for some help, Kishi?" Xion asked when she noticed him.

"Anything."

"Rats' nest."

"Oh..." He got up, still half asleep and headed into the kitchen. She followed him, still scratching.

"Where is it?" he asked.

"Behind the stove. There's two."

He leaned over the stove to get an idea of where it was and then he reached around to squeeze between the stove and the wall. Rats scattered in every direction. Xion climbed the stove at record speed.

Kishi moved stuff around the stove enough to fit behind there to get his hands around the nest, slowly working it free. He jerked a couple times when the rats bit at his hands but he was able to get the first nest out. He set it aside and went back for the second one.

"Did you get bit?" He was crammed behind the stove working out the other one when she asked.

"Yeah, it's not bad." Kishi made soft wheezing noises as he squished. The second nest was solidly built under there and he was trying to get it one handed.

"They aren't bad, they spread disease. I'll help you clean it later," she promised.

He got nipped again and hit his head on the cabinets above him when he jumped and cussed under his breath. The second nest came free and he wiggled out with the mess in his hands. Kishi set it down by the first and started to put stuff back.

"There might still be rats in here for a while until they realize their home is gone."

She winced at that.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't," he said firmly, "Don't apologize. I'm happy to be able to help." He scooped up both the nests and dug through them a bit. There were some babies in there. His brow crinkled in thought.

"I'm going to go find a place for these guys."

"...thanks, Kishi."

He kinda wished he had a last name for her to call him by. Hearing her say his name just made his heart skip a beat and he turned away from her, to discourage further discussion. Kishi nodded politely and then rubbed some sleep out of his eyes with one hand and carried the nests in the other, he left the kitchen.

She checked for rats on the floor before following him out of the kitchen.

Kishi didn't want to go too far from the kitchen or the mother wouldn't be able to find the babies. So, he took the nests to the hedges in the courtyard north of the kitchen. He set them on the ground before getting on his hands and knees to dig under the hedges some. Then he shoved himself under the bushes, pulling the nests in with him. It only took a few minutes to make the nests seem natural, but he stayed under there a little longer to make sure it was accessible and comfortable.

Xion waited a few feet back. He honestly didn't expect her to still be there when he managed to wiggle out. It made him feel extra self-conscious now that he was covered in dirt and leaves on top of everything else, not that it wasn't dramatically different from how he usually looked. Kishi slept in a barn and couldn't afford new clothes so he usually looked shoddy but for some reason he really struggled with looking bad in front of her. Kishi shuffled awkwardly.

"Did you need help with anything else?" he asked.

"I said I'd help you clean the bites."

_ Oh yeah... _ he looked at his hand. There were three little bleeding bites in different places on it. They were also dirty from the bushes.

"You don't have to," he said, "they're not bad, really."

"Rat bites get infected quickly, even if they're not deep. They've got to be cleaned."

"Yeah, I know," he said gently as he scratched the back of his head. "I can do it myself; you don't need to go through the hassle."

"I want to help."

He wanted to turn her away but it's not something he would've done five years ago so he just mumbled an ok and looked down.

"C'mon, let's go to the infirmary."

He quickly ran back to get his book. He never did get to finish eating but oh well. Now that he was awake it was time to get back to work. Kishi caught up to her and nodded, indicating that he would follow her.

Without Manuela there anymore, the infirmary was generally cleaner. Xion got a rag and some alcohol out. Kishi stood there quietly, politely waiting to be treated.

"Go ahead and sit down." She pulled two chairs out at the table. He obeyed, putting the book down on the table and holding his bit hand out. The bites might've been worse if his hands weren't so calloused. The war had taken its toll on everyone in different ways.

Xion soaked a corner of the rag and carefully cleaned out the bites. He hissed a little bit and recoiled. This was the first time anyone had even touched him in a while and it felt foreign, even the gentle touches while she helped him out.

"Sorry. I know it stings."

"No, it's ok," he assured her.

"Infections are worse." All she'd seen and she was still afraid of rats.

He knew as much. Kishi was careless and reckless but not dumb, but he wasn't going to get snappy with her.

"Yeah, thanks."

"...I had a talk with Sylvain a few weeks ago."

"What about?" he asked politely.

"I was asking for advice he didn't really have but I think telling you is probably the easiest way to deal with it."

"If it's a military thing then the Professor is probably better."

"... it's not. I want to be friends with you again, I just—I just don't know how (italics)to be."

He tensed up and almost ripped his hand out of hers, cleaning be damned. Kishi wasn't sure he even wanted to be friends. Being near Xion hurt. Seeing her made him feel like his heart was being ripped out of his chest over and over. Like he had thought before, it was like dying every day. Being friends again? He'd be a fool to invite that hope into his life.

"What do you want me to say?" he asked, barely a whisper. She looked up at him a minute before bowing her head.

"I don't know. What do you want to say?"

"I don't think you want to hear what I have to say," he admitted, "and I don't want to say the wrong thing trying to do what's right. Last time I did that I facilitated a war for no reason." He took his hand back, finished or no, the physical contact was uncomfortable now.

"...then do you think it's possible?" Xion asked seriously.

"To be friends again?"

"Yes." He looked away.

"I guess that depends. Do you really want that?" he asked.

"I do."

"Then, yes, I think we can be." What was a little more pain on top of what was already there? If it made her happy, he could pretend to be ok, at least until the war was over.

Everything in her slumped in relief and she said, "I'm glad to hear that. Thank you, Kishi."

"You're welcome." He rubbed his hand and got up, tugging his bracers back down a bit to cover more of his hands.

"Thank you for helping clean the bites."

"It's no big deal." She finally looked up again. He still wouldn't look at her. Kishi knew that he personally needed more time.

"I need to go get started on the afternoon chores. Just let me know if the rats come back." He turned to leave.

"I'll do that." She stayed seated for a while. He politely excused himself.

* * *

2/28 - The Valley of Torment

The heat shimmered over a river of molten rock and Xion was very much enjoying the heat. Literally no one else was though. The Kingdom was comfortably cold and everyone else was miserable. Kishi was no exception. He wasn't a fan of their pick-up spot. The Kingdom army was meeting reinforcements from Rodrigue here.

They were just a bit too early for Rodrigue… but not for Gwendal.

"Ugh, I just don't think I can take this heat anymore. I think I'm starting to see things..." Mercedes complained, "near those mountains over there... Is it just me, or is there a group of people gathered there?"

"No... It would seem you are not hallucinating after all," Gilbert assured her.

"Are those Rodrigue's soldiers? No, but their banner..."

Kishi recognized it immediately and tried to make himself very small.

"That is House Rowe's banner. They curried favor with that witch and sold out Faerghus," Dimitri hissed. Gilbert hung his head and said, "We messed up. There must have been a spy among us..." Dimitri whipped around, his one good eye searching the ranks until he found Kishi. Absolute fear washed over the former Rowe son as he saw Dimitri start moving towards him with murderous intent.

"Do we meet them in battle? or wait for Rodrigue?" Gilbert asked Dimitri.

Dimitri was still glaring at Kishi as he answered, "There is only one option. How kind of them to save us the trouble of killing them later. That banner belongs to the Gray Lion. It's a waste of breath to exchange words with one such as him."

"His Highness is correct. He is not an opponent whom we can expect to negotiate with," Gilbert confirmed, "Everyone! Prepare for the attack!" Kishi considered saying something, offering to try and talk to his Grandfather but Dimitri had only just looked away and he wasn't about to draw more attention to himself. Ashe moved up alongside Kishi with an expression that attempted to convey sympathy, but he was just as pained. Gwendal had been close with Ashe too.

Xion kept quiet as she moved out. She was sent north with the Professor at her side. She knew this was going to hurt Kishi, no matter the outcome.

Gilbert had also gone north, he told the Professor, "That man, who raises the Lion's flag? Lord Gwendal. He is an elder knight of House Rowe. Gwendal would, without thought, fight any battle if ordered. There is no chance of negotiating with him."

The ground in some places dangerously vented the heat. Xion didn't have to deal with it, but others did, and it burned. She barely heard Gilbert, but it was nothing new to her from what she'd gathered as a spy. She steered clear of the archer ahead, going after the fortress knights instead. It was starting to be uncomfortable in the heat, now that she was being active.

Kishi was sent west with the group going for the flank. He could feel his stomach in knots. His last meeting with his Grandfather hadn't gone well.

One by one Gwendal's knights started to go down and the class advanced on his position. Kishi's side was moving faster than expected and Gwendal seemed to notice their approach, he turned to start moving slowly up to them.

It wasn't long before Rodrigue arrived with a few men. He ran up alongside Gilbert and the Professor. "So, Cornelia has planted spies even inside Garreg Mach," he lamented. Xion turned off the Professor once they met up with Rodrigue to race after Gwendal.

Kishi was very conflicted but he had orders and he was determined to obey. It's what a knight would do. It was what his grandfather was currently doing. He killed another man, trying to not look at him too hard in case it was someone he knew. He saw Dimitri move up in the corner of his eye.

Gwendal had noticed them and was charging in at the prince who was more than eager to be fighting. Kishi was backing him up. For a moment, he wanted to run but even if Dimitri didn't trust him, even if Kishi hated himself for betraying his Grandfather in the first place, he stood his ground as the Professor had ordered.

"The man praised as a lion is degraded to a mere traitor's underling," Dimitri mocked as his lance met Gwendal's axe.

"A traitor's underling? That's upsetting, Your Highness. I am and always have been a knight of House Rowe," Gwendal said firmly.

"How dare you? You are nothing but a lowly beast scavenging for scraps. You have forgotten the dignity of knighthood."

"I may be lowly, but this beast is devoted to his master."

"Ha! Then I had better kill the pet and deliver its head to that master..." The glee in Dimitri's voice was evident and it scared Kishi a bit.

For a moment he wanted to step between them and save his Grandfather, the man who raised him and taught him everything he knew. Gwendal had shaped every moment of Kishi's life. Kishi owed him everything, but he also knew that Gwendal had trained him to always choose duty over everything else. So Kishi did nothing as Dimitri struck down the closest family he ever had.

Gwendal fell from his horse into the ash, a fatal wound across his abdomen where Dimitri had run him through. Kishi dismounted and ran to him, sliding in the dirt by his head as he propped his grandfather up, holding him out of the dust so he could die with dignity.

"Ah, so I have found a place to die... Young ones... I thank you..." he mumbled. Gwendal smiled a bit at Kishi, seemingly at peace. He motioned to his breastplate as he passed away. Kishi tsked and bowed his head, fighting any tears. The others caught up then and Gilbert solemnly bowed his head too.

"It is the way of knights to follow their master's orders without argument. Lord Gwendal was a good man," Gilbert said.

Dimitri scoffed and wiped his lance off in the dust, "Now he's just a corpse, nothing more. Let's go. Rodrigue is waiting for us."

Xion landed and dismounted near Kishi. She didn't approach. She knew he'd need some time.

Kishi's brow furrowed with pain and confused curiosity. He shakily reached under Gwendal's breastplate. Some knights kept personal things there, a book, a watch, usually something small.

Gwendal was keeping two sealed, worn, old letters. One was addressed to Kishi, the other to Riku. Kishi quietly pocketed both and just held onto his grandfather.

Dimitri stopped walking for a moment and turned around to see Kishi mourning Gwendal.

"Perhaps it would be best to save ourselves the hassle later. I will present Rodrigue with the head of the traitor," the Prince growled.

Kishi looked up to see Dimitri looming over him like an enraged bear.  _ How did he get over here so fast?  _ he barely had time to think before the crazed Prince grabbed Kishi by the throat and dragged him away from Gwendal's body while Kishi kicked and clawed helplessly at Dimitri's grip. The young liege was extremely strong and built. Kishi was no more than a toy in hand.

Xion ran over to stop him.

"That's not possible. He can't have smuggled any information out of the monastery. There's no way he had the time," she reasoned.

"Two rats," Dimitri said, "You would defend him?" The Professor stepped in now trying to reassure Dimitri that they had the wrong guy. Kishi's struggling was getting weaker. His vision was going dark and his head was swimming, still Dimitri's grip tightened.

"He's from the same House," Dimitri rationalized.

"Not anymore Your Highness!" Ashe pleaded, "He gave it up to fight for you!"

"Ashe is correct, Your Highness. A good knight serves his master. Kishi is serving you. Do not reward his loyalty with death," Gilbert added. Dimitri thought about that for a second. He looked at Kishi, hanging limply in his grip. Kishi was trying to make some kind of a noise but nothing was coming out.

"Give me one more reason to doubt you," he warned, "and I will sever your head from your shoulders and mount it on the steps to Arianrhod." He let go and Kishi collapsed wheezing and choking and desperately sucking in air while the Prince stomped off to meet with Rodrigue.

Xion moved to help him up. He took her hand, holding it tightly while he stayed on his knees for a second to catch his breath and get his vision back. Too much was happening at once and he was horribly overwhelmed. Kishi was starting to regret not saving his Grandfather to obey a vicious Prince but what Gilbert said gave him some measure of comfort. Ashe moved to Kishi’s other side and put a hand on his back for comfort.

Xion tried to help him to his horse, once he was up. She still didn't say anything. She didn't know what she could say. Ashe tried to help too. The burning air was hurting Kishi’s lungs and throat as he tried to suck more down.

"Come on Kishi," Ashe encouraged, "The class will leave us behind. We need to get going."

Just as they got to his horse, Kishi remembered something and waved them off, trying to pull away from them, still wheezing, to secure Gwendal’s horse. The stallion was dancing a bit, trying to stay near his fallen rider.

She changed course with him. Easier to go along with it than try to fight it. Ashe stopped him when he staggered. Kishi just wasn't getting enough air in this atmosphere.

"Xion, you get the horse, I'll get him out of here," the archer assured her. She nodded and let Kishi go, approaching the horse carefully. Ashe put his hand around Kishi’s waist and helped him get to and on the horse.

Gwendal’s horse was giving Xion trouble. It was the definition of a prized war horse, fearless, proud, and strong. It pawed the ground and tossed its head her way. Xion had little to no idea how to get the horse to behave, just tried to catch the reins and talked quietly.

"I know you're sad. You lost the person you relied on and trusted, and this place is really scary. I'm not going to hurt you. Someone I know needs your help."

He tossed his head again and walked the short distance to Gwendal’s body to sniff it. Displeased, the horse pawed the ground again, but it didn't flee and didn't shy away from her when she grabbed the reins.

"I'm sorry. He's gone. We have to go; you'll die if you stay somewhere this hot in all that armor." She tried to lead it away and signed for her wyvern to follow. It fought her for a second, snorting and reaching out to bite but it didn't connect and the horse followed where it's head was pulled, staying with her.

Once they were away from the fire of Ailell, the ride home became much easier. It didn't take long to get back with Rodrigue's reinforcements.

Xion tried to find Kishi. Ashe had stayed with him, getting him back to the stables. He sat Kishi down on the hay bale where Kishi slept and helped him get out of his armor. Kishi was moving in a daze. His breathing was still somewhat labored, coming out in a consistent wheeze but he wasn't crying. He couldn't bring himself to.

"...Kishi?" She stood just outside. Last time she'd come in uninvited he panicked, and he didn't need that right now.

Ashe got up and came outside.

"Oh good, you caught him," the boy said.

Kishi followed a second later. He went up to the horse and gently rubbed its muzzle. It balked at first but quickly calmed down and its ears twisted forward to listen to him as he made soothing sounds.

"Thanks Xion," he managed to whisper with a rough rasp. He took the reins from her and led the horse into one of the empty stalls to start taking its armor off.


	16. Lone Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> Thanks  
> Singing  
> Tests  
> Deja Vu  
> The Rose-Colored River

3/8 - Thanks

Kishi was pulling a cart of rubble away from the cathedral when he saw Xion writing at one of the reception hall tables and went inside.

"Xion?" he wheezed. Her head shot up.

"Yes? Oh. Hi, Kishi."

"Thanks for getting Atlas." His voice was sounding a lot better. There was still a little whistle/wheezing sound when he talked and breathed too hard and his neck was covered in a purple/yellow bruise, but it was healing and getting better.

"...it seemed important to you."

"Atlas was always a part of my grandfather," Kishi told her, "He very carefully selected the best horses and always rode the best himself. Really, it means a lot." He nodded politely and tapped his leg some, not sure what else to say, so he turned around so she could get back to what she was doing. Xion got up a moment after he turned and grabbed his shoulder.

"Hey...are you doing okay?" she asked. He didn't flinch which was good, but he was shaking a little under her hand.

"No, but it's ok, I'm sure it will get better later."

She took the hand away and offered, "...Do you want help?

"Nah," he said, trying to be a little more light-hearted but the wheezing sound made it come out a little more creepy and awkward.

"It's just daily chores. I wouldn't be much of a knight if I couldn't get them done."

"... alright. You'll ask for help if you need it, right? If not from me then Ashe or Sylvain."

"Yeah, I will." He walked back to the cart just outside the door and started pushing it again, moving the rubble to a spot outside the monastery.

* * *

3/15 - Singing

The training grounds were finally calming down. The tournament had come to a close and people were clearing out. Kishi was just getting there to train himself. He liked to wait until it was mostly empty.

Xion wasn't looking around much. She sat in the little alley by the sauna, singing quietly, caught in her own little bubble. She hadn't even realized the tournament that had been covering the sound of her voice had ended.

Kishi heard the singing as he passed by and tilted his head. It sounded familiar somehow, but he couldn't place the voice. He detoured to check it out, walking up the stairs and looking around. He saw Xion and immediately balked. They were barely trying to be friends again and he didn't want to embarrass her by making her think he was eavesdropping. He turned around and tried to tip toe back down the stairs.

The cat she was petting jumped out of her lap to run after him, and that snapped her out of it. The words stopped and she followed until she saw the kitty rubbing against Kishi's leg.

Busted by a cat. Somehow that made sense. He was trying to very gently shoo the kitten away.

"Do all the cats like you?" she asked him.

"No... There's an old ginger tabby that won't let me hang out by the pond."

"One cat out of hundreds."

"I don't know why they like me..." he grumbled.

"Maybe it's because you treat them well."

"Who wouldn't?... You have a nice singing voice."

She went red and covered her face.

"You heard that?" He jumped a little in alarm.

"S-Sorry... I didn't mean to..."

"... it's nothing too bad, I'm just...not the best singer and—"

"I thought you sounded good," he offered, timidly. He reached out to gently coax her hands away from her face. She was still beet red, but she didn't stop him.

"You should hear Sora sing, then."

"Not Ven?" he playfully teased.

"Ven's even shyer than me about it, good luck."

"Ye-yeah, hopefully one day." Kishi turned red again. Now he really didn't want to admit his spying on her family. He shuffled awkwardly again.

"What were you doing over here? The tournament ended... actually, I don't know how long ago that was."

"I still train in the evenings, when I can," he explained.

"Ah. Would you rather train alone, or with company."

"I mean... I usually train alone... but it's ok if you wanted to train too."

"...I need to train my wyvern, so not here, but good luck."

"O-oh, right. Yeah... I'll see you." He turned to head to the training grounds. Xion turned towards the stables.

* * *

3/22 - Tests

Kishi wasn't taking his test today but he had been caring for the animals that others were testing on. He dropped off the armor for Sylvain’s horse, the big black beast that had thrown him at one point.

Xion was tacking up Aster in the training grounds while Byleth and Seteth both supervised the test. Even tacking was part of the mastery exams. She carefully placed the brass before mounting. It was old and scratched and the loop holding it to the harness was nearly worn through. She waved at Kishi before taking off with Seteth.

Kishi noticed her wave too late and tried to half-heartedly return it but it turned into a weird half wave. He shook it off and went back to unloading his cart.

Xion had to focus on the test. It had been a while since lances were part of her training regimen and the course included tricky maneuvering on a wyvern she'd been working with for just two months. She had to periodically dive to both attack Byleth and demonstrate moving mounts and dismounts. It was not an easy test and she was 99% sure she didn't pass.

Seteth eventually called the test and she landed. Xion removed Aster's tacking rather carefully. The brass went into her pocket as she led Aster off to the side to watch the rest of the tests. The written portions would come later, providing they passed practicals.

Sylvain was doing alright as was Mercedes. Kishi had picked out a quick, but soft mare for Mercie’s Holy Knight test. He finished offloading the gear and then headed back to the stables to get Ashe’s things.

It took him a minute but Kishi came back with his cart full of metal plates and tack as well as an additional horse, a lovely silver dapple for Ashe who thanked him as they set up for Ashe’s test.

Just about everyone was testing today so it was taking a fair amount of time to get to everyone. Xion ended up taking a break from her studying and brought water for everyone finishing their tests. It was well into the evening by the time they moved to the classroom for the written part.

"Kishi, why didn't you take a test?" she asked him.

"Not enough time," he said as he finished unloading the cart again.

"Next week, then?"

"Maybe," he said absently.

"...do you need help with the cart?"

"Shouldn't you be studying?"

"I can pass the written test confidently. I'm behind on the practicals."

"I feel like you train a lot." He set the heavy armor down for Ashe and counted it to be sure it was all there.

"I have to get Aster up to the same level of familiarity I had with my old one."

"Aster? Oh, you named her."

"Byleth is the head of the church, she let me buy her cheaper than normal. So, I got to name her," Xion explained.

"I'm glad. She's a good Wyvern."

"Until there's food around."

Aster perked up just at the mention of food. He resisted the urge to chuckle.

"Still spirited then."

"Very much."

"Do you need me to go put her up?" he offered.

"...are you heading that way anyway?"

"Um... Not really."

"Then I'll take her back, it's alright."

Kishi nodded and then started pushing the cart. He had to get some stuff for Ingrid's test too. Her practicals weren't until tomorrow but he wanted everything ready.

"...guess I'll see you around, then."

"Oh, yeah. Good luck on your exam," he said.

"Thanks." She led Aster away.

* * *

3/29 - Deja Vu

Xion had missed two nights of sleep and was feeling it. She looked around. No one was in the courtyard... a little nap wouldn't hurt, right? She laid down on a bench and was out like a light.

The second Kishi saw her he felt like a teen again. He smiled a little and left for a second, returning only when he had found a thick blanket. He put it over her and tucked it in around her feet.

Xion pulled the blanket tight and mumbled something. She didn't wake up, just shifted a little.

It was still cold out, letting her sleep here wasn't smart, even with the blanket, and she seemed pretty out of it... He bent down to pick her up bridal style.

That (italics)got her up, albeit not very much. She just blinked at him, not really registering what was going on.

He immediately regretted his decision and turned bright red. Kishi slowly set her back down on the bench and then ran away back to his makeshift room in the barn in a flustered huff.

Xion rolled over and went back to sleep. Her twenty-minute nap turned into three hours.

* * *

3/31 - The Rose-Colored River

The Kingdom army was taking the next major step in the war, moving to capture the Great Bridge of Myrddin. The bridge was the major connection between the Alliance and the Empire and was a strategic necessity. Control of the bridge would grant access to the Empire as well as alleviate some of the pressure on the Alliance, which was still divided between loyalty to the Empire and loyalty to their young leader, Claude.

The bridge really was huge. She'd crossed it before, during the Battle of the Eagle and Lion. Xion rubbed Aster's antlers, trying to make sure they both stayed calm.

Kishi was riding Atlas. For the last month Kishi had been working with the horse specifically, even sleeping in the same stall. The horse was still wary of Kishi, but they were getting along. They were near the back, away from Dimitri.

Xion looked down when she saw Ladislava and Ferdinand were there. She knew she'd eventually be fighting them, but it still hurt somewhat to see them. The two familiar faces were leading Imperial troops.

Kishi’s job kept him maintaining the rear. Dimitri was still bloodthirsty and cruising through troops. The silverette was doing his best to keep an eye on everyone but paid special attention to Xion and Sylvain.

Xion was fairly close to the front. Her job was to keep attackers off their spellcasters, Annette and Sylvain. She flew over a structure in the middle of the bridge to take out an archer before he could attack her or Ingrid.

Atlas noticed something long before Kishi did. The paladin narrowed his eyes some at the horse’s ears as they turned to listen. Enemy reinforcements were coming up behind them. Kishi’s horse started dipping its head and pawing at the ground. It knew something was up and turned despite Kishi’s urging. A figure was rapidly approaching.

"Apologies Highness, I'm on my way," Dedue announced as he emerged from the mist. Not far behind the Duscur survivor came enemy reinforcements, an Alliance lord turned Imperial named Acheron. 

Xion double backed to attack the little weasel and his troops. Kishi met up with her, as did Ingrid. Dedue was behind but moving in. The good news was Acheron and his troops were pushovers. The newcomer wasn't even going to get any action.

Xion flew up to Dedue to brief him on the bridge setup. The second she was within range he attacked. His massive ax came down across the Wyverns shoulders. She dismounted in alarm and applied her vulnerary to Aster before trying to retreat but Dedue wasn't letting her get away. He swung the axe at her neck. Kishi heard the Wyvern roar and turned to see Dedue attacking Xion. He panicked and pushed the horse that direction.

Xion turned enough to catch her arm instead of her neck.

"I-I'm fighting on the Kingdom's side!" she yelled.

"I will not fall for any Imperial lies," Dedue said monotone but resolved, "I saw your allegiance with my own eyes in Fhirdiad." Kishi caught up. He didn't think just attacked. His lance hit Dedue’s pauldron, knocking the huge man back and dislocating his shoulder.

"Ask Felix! I was a spy for the Kingdom!" Xion looked around frantically, hoping the King wasn't in hearing distance.

Dedue shoved the lance out of the way and punched Atlas. The horse spooked and threw Kishi as a result before taking off. Kishi went flying, landing on Xion. The Duscur man towered over them both.

“You are correct to identify as a spy. I will allow you to plague his Highness no more, and if you would defend her, you share in her guilt." He raised his axe over Xion again.

"Aster, get help!" She pushed Kishi off before making a hand sign. Aster lumbered away and screamed at anyone she recognized.

Kishi rolled to get back to his feet. He put himself between Dedue and Xion. The axe hit his bracer and he grit his teeth when the heavy weapon broke through, cutting into his arm. Ingrid noticed what was happening and rushed to get help too.

Xion backed up. She didn't want to fight Dedue and she wasn't sure if she could right now anyway. Kishi also knew he would lose if this went on too long. He yelped when the axe twisted as Dedue pulled it free.

Sylvain and Mercedes were catching up though. They rushed back with Ingrid and used their horses to get between Dedue and the others. Aster was following the three.

"Dedue! You're alive!"

"Dedue you have to stop! Let us explain!"

Xion pressed a hand to her arm, trying to stop the bleeding. Kishi took his sash off and wrapped it around her arm, tightening it until a healer could get to her.

"Thank you," she mumbled quickly. He grunted in response. His own arm was hurt too, and he was struggling. The Professor and Dimitri finally caught up and started to talk to Dedue, but it didn't seem to be going well. Sylvain turned around and dismounted.

"Get on and get out of here, both of you," he ordered. Dimitri was starting to take Dedue’s side in the heated discussion about the two. Sylvain wasn’t about to let two of his friends get killed because of impatience.

He pulled himself up onto Sylvain’s horse and scooted forward to make room for her. Xion struggled a little getting on but she managed with some help from Kishi. They took off as soon as she was on, running back towards the monastery.

Xion had her good arm around Kishi's waist so she wouldn't fall off. If his arm wasn't bleeding so much, and they weren't running for their lives, he would've been somewhat flustered. Kishi didn't stop until the horse started to wheeze from exhaustion. They were still far away from the monastery, but the horse had to rest so he let it walk for now.

"We need to stop somewhere," he managed, "This horse might collapse if we don't."

"Okay. Alright, but we need to get off the road then."

He led the horse deeper into the woods. There was a ditch a little bit deeper in that was deep enough to hide the horse as well. He dismounted and secured the horse to a tree. Xion let herself down and took a few breaths.

"How's your arm?"

"Fine," he mumbled. He struggled to loosen the horse's tack.

"Do you want help?"

"You're hurt too," he said, "You should rest."

"We both should." She tore a strip from the bottom of her shirt. He nodded a bit too tired to argue and finished up with the horse before sitting down and trying to get his bracer off so he could treat the axe wound.

"Can I help you with this, at least? You were hurt defending me."

Kishi wanted to argue but he was in a lot of pain and his hands were shaky and slick, so he nodded his consent and held his arm out. He was trying to get his other bracer and gloves off with his teeth, somewhat distracted. Xion carefully removed his bracer and rolled up his sleeve.

She stopped a moment and stared before shakily asking, "...do you have a canteen on you? It'd be better to at least rinse it first."

"It was on my horse. Sylvain’s might be on his."

Xion retrieved the canteen and wet the corner of her sleeve, wiping the arm off when she sat back down before carefully pouring some of the water over it. He hissed at first and had to resist the urge to pull his arm back.

"We need to take care of yours too," he said aloud to ease some of the silent tension.

"One thing at a time. Mine's been covered the whole ride." She took the strip and wrapped the wound tightly.

He  _ was _ feeling a little light-headed. Kishi leaned back to rest his head on the bank wall behind him. The ditch was angled steeply enough where he could lay back but still stay sitting up.

"Just an hour. To rest. This is still alliance territory." Xion nodded.

"Just long enough for the horse to rest. You should drink," she instructed and handed him the canteen, "eat something sweet when we get back." He took it and drank before passing it to her.

"Let me look at yours."

"Sure." The sash he'd tied on back at the bridge was soaked through. He wasn't able to use his injured left arm very well, but he managed. Kishi gently unwrapped the injury and checked it. They really needed soap or disinfectant... Or a Mercedes to heal this. They didn't have a ton of water, so he was careful to pour with precision, gently pulling the wound open to clean it out. Xion hissed and bit her hand to keep quiet. He felt his heart sink. Kishi mumbled sorry under his breath a few times and rubbed her arm with his thumb.

"Don't apologize. You're helping."

"Sorry..." He had a double layer skirt over his hips to protect his thighs. The inside layer was clean between the top thicker layer and his armor. He tore that and wrapped her arm more carefully than he had before.

"...thank you, Kishi. I feel like I don't say that enough. I appreciate your help and your company, and I care about you." He let go and looked away.

"Too much. Sorry... I'm not ready for that much yet," he said gently, voice strained. That kind of hope was dangerous, and it hurt his heart even if it was just what he needed to hear.

"Rest Xion, I'll keep first watch." He climbed out of the ditch.

"We aren't staying long enough to need separate watches." Yet. Maybe one day. She followed him out of the ditch.

"Then I'll keep the only watch."

"Two eyes are better. There's no reason the watch can't be done seated." Having said that, she crawled into a bush and sat up where she could see the road. He sat down and leaned against a tree facing the other direction.

"Do you think they won?" he asked after a few minutes.

"Yes. With how Dimitri fights and Professor Byleth directing everyone else, I have no doubt."

"Do you think they'll let us keep fighting?"

"That depends on how much sense the Professor, Rodrigue, and Felix can talk into Dimitri and Dedue."

"Rodrigue is a good man. I served under him."

"He's a smart man. He should at least be able to talk them down enough to explain."

"I'm starting to get sick of everyone trying to kill me now that I'm not trying to kill myself," he tried to joke. She shook herself a bit.

"Sorry, what was that?" she asked softly.

He scratched his head.

"Sorry... It was a bad joke."

"...was it a pun?"

"N-No..."

"You hated puns. Why'd I even axe."

He was too tired to see what she did there.

"No, I was upset with people trying to kill me."

"Rightfully so," she said firmly.

"I deserve it, but I still don't like it."

"You don't."

"No, I do not like it," he agreed.

"You don't deserve it." Kishi fell quiet.

"Xion, I am a traitor. That's a fact."

"And I'm a traitor to the Empire."

"You're not trying to fight for them still after betraying them."

"Everyone has their reasons. Maybe we should have joined the Alliance and we're heading to our deaths anyway. There's no telling how things would have turned out if you had made a different decision, and there's no point speculating on what-ifs. You are here, you have changed. What you did in the past does not define you now."

"I don't think Rhea will see it that way."

"Who says Rhea has to know?" Xion asked.

"I'm assuming Dimitri doesn't kill us before we find her."

"Byleth likes you. She won't get you killed."

"I'm useful right now. Dimitri might be right though. I let my emotions dictate my actions, they still do. What happens if I have to choose between someone I love and the good of the people again? Because of me, a lot of good people are dead. If I were anyone else, I'd have been executed for treason by now."

"Regardless. You've now spent four and a half years on this side."

"And I still don't feel like I've atoned. If anything, I feel worse about what I did. Do you feel like you're on the right side of the war?" he asked her seriously.

"It's a war. There are rarely right and wrong sides. I'm not comfortable fighting with Edelgard, who willingly allied herself with the same people who used us as lab rats."

“Even though Enbarr was your home?"

"The courtiers of Enbarr were aware of what was going on and did nothing to stop it. The emperor's family lived within a mile of kids who lived in barrels and had to steal to make a living. Enbarr is far from a terrible place, but my loyalty will always belong to people, not places."

"Your family," he said, offering an example.

"Currently in Fraldarius, not Enbarr."

"I know. They're who you're loyal to." He shifted a bit as he spoke. "I-I might close my eyes. Just a few minutes."

"Don't. You're bleeding, you have to stay awake." She wasn't feeling great either. The yellows all looked too saturated, too bright. His vision was blurry.

"I don't really sleep well in that barn," he admitted, "Just a few minutes..."

"Then sleep in my room when we get back. Not before."

"Maybe we should try to keep moving then..."

"Yeah. Finish off the water first." Xion crawled out of the bush and tried to stand. Her vision went dark for a moment and she stumbled against a nearby tree. He looked up at the noise with concern and pushed himself to his feet. He handed her the water.

"There's not much left. You should drink it." Before she could hand it back, he slid into the ditch to tighten the tack on the horse.

"You're gonna be leading. You need to be alert," Xion insisted.

"I'm ok," he told her. With the mission in mind, he focused intently on getting the horse trail ready and leading it out of the ditch. Then he mounted up and offered her his good hand. Xion took it and helped herself up behind him.

"We'll keep it for whoever needs it first, then."

He nodded and urged the horse onwards. It huffed a little but obeyed, falling into a comfortable lope along the trail. It was well into the night when they made it back and the monastery was almost empty. Everyone was still at the bridge or on their way back. Kishi was about to fall off the horse and as they got to the stables he certainly started to.

Xion had been leaning more and more on him as the day wore on. She fell with him. He managed to at least catch her partially so her head wouldn't hit the ground, but he couldn't get up, not comfortable. So, he just closed his eyes there on the hard dirt.

"C'mon... can't sleep here..." Xion shook his shoulder. Kishi groaned but forced himself to get up. With a pained grunt, he staggered back to his feet and towards the barn. She gave standing exactly one try before crawling after him.

When he turned and saw her struggling, he came back and bent down to try and pick her up, half dragging her to his barn. It was warmish at least. He helped her to his "bed," the stiff hay bale, and then collapsed in the loose straw in the floor.

She sat up when she heard him collapse.

"Can't sleep. C'mon"

He moaned, "Have to."

"Can't. Won't—won't wake up."

He made a pained gurgling grunt in response. It was hard to push anymore, they had both lost too much blood and the adrenaline had long worn off. He couldn't do it. His eyes closed as he fell asleep.

"... Kishi...?" She rolled over to look at him. "Hey...wake up..." She reached down to shake him. "...wake up...you gotta... c'mon, Kishi..."

He made a soft groaning sound but was so tired.

"C'mon... c'mon please..." She rolled off and tried to get both arms under him. "...Please, you can't..."

There was a fumbling at the door as it slid open in a hurry. Ingrid and Sylvain had flown back when they couldn't find them near the bridge. Both Kishi and Xion looked pale and sick. Sylvain hurried to them and cast heal.

"Ingrid, help me get them both to the infirmary."

Xion heard voices, not who was saying them or what they were saying. She let herself down and did her best to cover Kishi with herself.

"...Don't—don't hurt him..."

Ingrid and Sylvain looked at each other in mild surprise before Ingrid gently put her hand on Xion’s back. "Xion, it's us, it's ok, we're going to help you two." She gently looped her arms under Xion’s to pull her off Kishi and try to get to a better position to carry her.

Xion's chest was shaking. If she wasn't dehydrated, she might have been crying. She wasn't able to fight Ingrid.

Sylvain helped Ingrid get Xion onto her back and then threw Kishi over his shoulder. It took some time but the two of them were able to get to the infirmary with their charges where Sylvain focused more on magical healing to make sure they weren't in serious danger anymore.

Kishi didn't wake up until a few days later. His head hurt some and he was incredibly disoriented. It took him a whole minute to realize he was in the infirmary.

Xion had woken up some time earlier and dragged herself over to kneel by Kishi's bed. She was asleep again, head resting on her good arm.

He saw her and gently reached out to touch her head eliciting a sleepy whine but she didn't move.

Kishi grunted a little as he got out of bed. He looped his good arm around Xion’s waist and lifted her up, putting her in his bed so she wouldn’t be kneeling so uncomfortably.

"You're up..." she mumbled, blinking away.

"Yeah." He tucked her in.

"...why am I in your bed?"

He turned bright red when he realized what he had done and how horribly inappropriate it was. He backed up, putting his hands up to show her he wasn't doing anything he shouldn't be.

"I-I just saw you r-right there and it was easier to j-just put you up on my bed." He made a pained whining sound and then mumbled a quick, "I hope you feel better!" and then booked it.

"Wait, come back—" He was already gone. She sat up and went to scratch her arm, only to realize it was in a sling.  "... I'm sorry..."

_D-Did she think I was making a move??? Why did I think it was ok to put her in my bed?_ He ran all the way back to the barn.


	17. Great Tree Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Includes:
> 
> Confrontation  
> Vulnerability   
> Warnings  
> Blood of the Eagle and Lion

4/12 - Confrontation

Xion was walking down to the Wyvern Tower when she ducked into the stables and hid behind the door.

"Do you mind if I hide in here?" she asked Kishi who had looked up in mild shock when she entered. He was moving hay bales to the cart to start feeding the horses.

"Uh... Sure."

"Thanks." She looked out the window to watch for Dedue.

"Why are you hiding in here?"

"Dedue's going the other way and I haven't talked to him yet."

Kishi felt his blood run cold.

"I haven't either. I-Is he still trying to kill us?" he asked with some fear in his question.

"Probably not, he hasn't hunted either of us down, but I kinda don't want to risk it and everyone's been avoiding the topic."

"Dimitri still thinks I'm the Ailell rat. I'm worried he told Dedue... I mean, I'm glad he survived but he's pretty scary."

"...he knows the actual spy was caught like, a week later, right?"

"I'm not sure he cares." Kishi shuddered at the thought.

"Stay here as long as you need to," he offered.

"Thanks."

Xion sat in the hay and after a few moments asked, "... can you take a heavy conversation right now?"

He tensed up some, but he didn't want to say no.

"I-If this is about me putting you in my bed, it was just a convenience thing, I promise I didn't mean anything by it."

"No. I don't mind that. I was just confused. No, look, when I was bandaging your arm, I saw—I saw other scars..."

Kishi visibly deflated as he mumbled, "Oh..."

"Is that still something that's going on?"

"I don't think that's any of your business..."

"Alright." She swallowed, looked down, and wiped her eyes. He instantly felt guilty and wanted to reassure her but wasn't sure it was appropriate.

"Xion, look I... I'm trying."

"Is there anything I can do?"

"You shouldn't have seen them in the first place."

"I didn't know that I would."

"It’s my fault... I should've stopped you." He went back to loading hay bales, feeling embarrassed and guilty.

"You were hurt and needed help."

He couldn't argue with that but said instead, "Don't tell the others."

"I won't. Promise." Xion checked out the window. Dedue wasn't around anymore.

"Listen, Xion," he said, as he loaded a bag of oats to his cart, "I know we're trying to be friends again but... Don't get attached. We're in a war. Anything can happen."

"I'm not sure how much power we actually have over that."

"Well try."

"... even after the war, things happen."

"We will be lucky to both survive the war," Kishi insisted.

"We'll find a way, then."

"I guess I'm more talking to myself. You're not really emotional and I've never seen you sad."

"Maybe I'm just good at hiding it. Maybe I don't have as much time as everyone else and I want to spend it happy."

"What do you mean not as much time?"

She went stiff.

"It's nothing. You don't want to hear it."

"You saw my scars, but you won't share yours?" he said without thinking. He immediately regretted it. “Sorry, I didn't mean it. You don't have to."

"No... you're right, that's not fair of me," she zoned out, staring far beyond the walls of the stable as she continued, "Most people with artificial Crests don't live very long. Their bodies just...give out."

He looked at her with some shock then looked back down. All the more reason for him to not get attached.

"I'll make sure you see the end of this war I started," he promised.

She didn't see the look. When she told him about her Crest, it was as though she was checked out of reality. Waiting until she wasn't talking about something painful so she wouldn’t have to deal with the emotions.

"It's not your responsibility. It's why I didn't date in the Academy and it's not like I'm going to just...drop one day. It's like an animal getting too old and slowing down until they just...stop," she explained numbly.

"...want to come help me feed the animals?" he asked softly, not sure what else to do and feeling a little awkward.

"...yeah, that sounds nice." Xion got up from the window, the present bringing her out of the nightmare. He got behind the bar of the handcart and started pushing it towards the bigger double doors.

"Did they bring Atlas back? I know they got Aster."

"Atlas found his own way back. Sylvain said he was waiting for them when they found us," Kishi told her.

"Smart horse." She held the door open for him. He grunted a bit as he pushed one handed. They were both still hurt after all.

"Do you want some help with the cart?" Xion offered.

"You're just as hurt as I am."

"We both have a good arm, though."

He shifted along the bar to make room for her.

"Then I guess we count as a whole person," he joked.

"We're like, one and a half, three quarters functional each." She moved up to the cart and grabbed the bar with her left hand. Kishi made sure he had a decent grip and then started pushing the cart out of the barn and down along the stables.

"Actually, this would go a lot faster if you sat in the cart and added hay to the stalls as we walked by instead of having to stop so much."

"Wouldn't it just be that much heavier?"

"As long as you sit right over the wheels it's not much different."

"... alright." She let go and walked around the cart to sit on the end. It took him a second to get going but with the continual momentum it wasn't bad. The starting and stopping was so much worse. The hay was already divided into segments so it was easy to toss a couple into each stall as they passed by.

The partnership cut Kishi’s chores down significantly and by the time everyone was fed and the cart put away, he found himself with hours of extra time and no idea what to do with them.

"Well  _ hay _ , that went well!" Xion's mood was considerably lighter by the end of it.

"Yeah it did, didn't it? Sorry to keep you... I assume you still want to train today."

"Mercedes banned me from the training grounds, actually."

Kishi sat down on his hay bed and asked, "...why?"

"She saw me take my arm out of my sling to pick up an axe."

"Oh. I just took my sling off entirely." He lay back so the cat could settle in on his chest.

"Don't let Mercedes catch you then." Xion sat on the ground next to him.

"Y'know, I meant what I said about you sleeping in my room again if you wanted," she offered.

"I couldn't."

"Yes, you can. You said you don't sleep well out here."

"Sleeping out here is part of my punishment. People with homes to return to, families to protect, and honor intact get rooms," he explained.

"All three or just one? Because that might put me outside too. You don't have to punish yourself, either."

_ Yeah I do, _ he thought to himself.

"Thanks but I'm good here, gonna lay down now. …Please don't watch me nap...I'll get right back to work afterwards."

"I won't." Xion got up and headed out, adding a quick, "Sleep well."

_ I'm bringing him a blanket and pillow at least. _

"Thanks. Just... A few minutes." He fell asleep quickly.

She came back in about ten minutes and tossed a blanket over him. Then left.

* * *

4/19 - Vulnerability

Xion was sitting in the alley between the stables and the entrance hall that no one ever used, hoping not to be seen or heard. Her knees were drawn up to her chest and her head was resting on her knees. She'd lost her hair tie, and her hair hung loose around her shoulders.

Kishi was finally finding time to train but it meant shortcuts wherever possible. He led Atlas through the alley to head out of the monastery. Part way through he saw the flash of white and stopped to investigate.

"Xion? Are you ok?" he asked softly.

Xion wiped her face before looking up.

"I'm not hurt."

"Are you crying?"

She sniffed, "Yeah."

He walked over to her and knelt down with a look of confused concern. Kishi had never seen her cry before. It was unnerving.

"W-why?"

"Ferdinand and Ladislava are dead. Informants still in the Empire say Bernadetta and Petra are going to be at Gronder Field. I didn't know them in school, but I do now and...and there's never anything good about war. Right and wrong sides rarely exist and it's painful to realize that if I meet someone I know on the other side of a battle, only one of us can walk away," Xion explained.

Kishi watched her with mild surprise and then a neutral sadness. He shifted so he could sit next to her, staying quiet. This was a common thing to be upset about. It just took her a little longer to get to this point than it had with many of them.

Xion's head went back down and she cried, "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have to deal with this."

"I already have had to," he said simply. He tentatively put an arm around her, trying to offer temporary comfort. She leaned into him and his heartbeat picked up. It was hard to stay emotionally distant in a moment like this, but she needed it.

Her head migrated from her knees to his shoulder. It had been a long time since anyone had seen her cry, and even longer since anyone had helped her through it.

Atlas was standing near them too, keeping them away from prying eyes by becoming a welcome wall of horse. Kishi gently rubbed her arm but avoided leaning back into her. He was very careful since he didn't want to lead her on.

She stayed like that awhile, occasionally mumbling apologies. He always responded with an equally mumbled "it's ok".

Eventually, Xion pulled away and wiped her face, saying, " 'm sorry I wasted your time, but thank you."

"I didn't know you felt like this. I'm sorry I can't do more."

"I'm usually good at hiding it. I don't like people seeing me cry, usually."

"Well, I don't know if this makes you feel better or not, but I didn't think you could cry."

She sputtered a bit, "I'm not the Professor. …I'm sorry if I have that impression, though."

"Why are you apologizing? You just said that you try to be that way."

"I don't know. Habit."

"Well, you're very good at hiding your feelings," he reassured her as he got up and gathered Atlas' reins.

"Thank you, Kishi. Just...thank you."

"You're welcome." He pulled himself up onto the horse's back and turned it around. If he was lucky, he could still cram some much needed training in.

* * *

4/26 - Warnings

Kishi was mucking out stalls. Even with the extra help there was still a lot to do especially with Rodrigue's reinforcements, so he was somewhat startled when Byleth showed up.

"Kishi. I need to talk to you and Xion, do you know where she is?" the Professor asked.

"I can try to find her for you, Professor," he offered politely.

"That would be beneficial. I will walk with you."

He dipped his head politely and left the stall with her. It was Saturday so no doubt Xion was nearby or on her way.

"Hi, Kishi!" she yelled from the roof when she saw him. Xion was on top of the stables.

He looked up in confusion, then alarm, then resignation. That made sense. She did always have a thing for high places. He motioned for her to come down. She climbed about halfway and jumped the rest.

"The Professor wants to see us," he said as he motioned over his shoulder to Byleth standing behind him. There was some anxiety in his heart. He trusted the professor but with Dimitri... he was worried they weren't quite out of the woods yet.

Byleth led the way to the barn and motioned for them to sit. Kishi took a deep breath and then walked over, sitting down near her. Xion sat on a hay bale.

“We're anticipating a fight in Gronder Fields. Edelgard is expected to be there and Dimitri doesn't want to miss his chance to kill her," the Professor told them.

Better her than us. (italics)

"What do you need from us?" Kishi asked.

"I'm here to warn you. Dimitri doesn't trust either of you. He asked—demanded that you two fight near him. He's looking for an excuse to kill you. Do not give him that excuse. That is an order. You both have a habit of breaking formation when the other is in danger. You can't. You will both die."

Kishi nodded solemnly while Xion looked down and scratched her arm.

"I understand," Xion said. Byleth nodded and left.

Xion slumped and told Kishi, "Don't get hurt, then. I'll worry, even if I can't do anything."

He looked over at her in surprise.

"You? Worry about me? Since when?" he asked.

"...a while?"

"I feel like I'm the one throwing myself in front of you." He stood up and dusted off his pants.

"Yeah and you keep getting hurt for it."

"Well, stop fighting so recklessly," he scolded, somewhat jokingly.

"The last few have not been my fault."

"Whatever you say." He messed up her hair without thinking about it and went back to mucking stalls. She didn't mind now that she wasn't hiding the white. She smiled.

"I'll go train," Xion announced, as she hopped down and left. He was already back to focusing on his work.

* * *

4/30 - Blood of the Eagle and Lion

The route from the monastery to the Imperial capital was becoming clearer with the Bridge of Myrddin captured. The next territory to clear included Gronder Field. The Professor’s suspicion was correct. The Imperial army was already there, waiting for the Kingdom forces.

What wasn’t expected, were the Alliance troops moving in on the field. It was unclear who Claude was backing in this fight, but Dimitri didn’t seem to care. He only had eyes for Edelgard. The Emperor herself was waiting for them.

Xion and Aster were behind Dimitri on his left. It was...uneasy, to say the least. Byleth had given her an elixir for this fight and Kishi's brass hung on Aster's harness. The lion imprint was barely visible by now, she'd carried it in every battle in the last five years.

Kishi was placed away from Xion. It was easier to keep them from breaking formation that way. He wasn't happy about it, but the Professor was right, he needed to be more detached. Duty came first.

Edelgard opened the battle with mages raining fire on the other two armies. Dimitri stepped forward, unperturbed.

"Know that I will tear your heads from your shoulders. The dead must have their tribute," the crazed prince said, not even caring if the others could hear him.

Claude spoke up, mumbling to himself, "As big class reunions go...this has got to be the worst in history."

Edelgard sounded...sad, "Years ago, we fought here as classmates...But not today."

The three armies stood ready.

"Kill every last ONE OF THEM!" Dimitri screamed. He raced into the field. Everyone was given the signal to advance. Byleth didn't want anyone attacking the Alliance just yet and instructed everyone to avoid the center hill.

Xion stayed close to Dimitri as he crossed the bridge. As she took off, the loop holding her horse brass finally gave out and it fell into the grass. Dimitri was making a beeline for Edelgard.

She was dodging arrows again. She had to stick tight to Dimitri but he kept too close to the ballista. Xion rushed ahead to clear Dimitri's path.

Kishi and Ashe were taking up the rear. He was running the line with Ashe who was sporting his new Bow Knight class. Their purpose for now was to keep tabs on Claude.

As the armies mixed, Claude gave up on telling them apart and his army attacked.

Dimitri’s assault was cut off by Hubert.

"It was a mistake for Lady Edelgard to simply throw you in prison. I'll fix that for her," he snarled.

Xion took a decent hit before attacking. Her Crest flashed behind her and Hubert retreated, once again opening the path for the Kingdom prince.

The sudden attacks from the Alliance were expected and Kishi and Ashe started picking them off, holding them back with as few casualties as possible. Kishi clashed with Leonie trying to stay defensive by focusing on attacking the tack on her horse. Her lance glanced off of his pauldron and he used it as an opportunity to kick the weapon away and smack the flat of his axe against the horse's rump. It ran off, out of control.

Most of the Alliance were getting the hint and backing off. Kishi started moving closer to the rest of the crew.

Xion and Dimitri were moving farther away from the main body of the Kingdom army. They both moved in on a Demonic Beast, swiping at it from multiple sides. The two weren't able to finish it off right away and she spun in the air to come back at the beast. A sharp pain tore through her and she missed the attack, urging Aster to a stand of trees nearby. She could see the tip of an arrowhead coming through her vest.

Dimitri didn't stop for her, he just kept pushing forward.

Xion dismounted and stumbled to a tree. She signed at Aster, then coughed, and that made it so much worse. She couldn't get a full breath in, her chest hurt and that just made her cough harder, starting the process over again. Aster circled far above. Tears rolled down—when had she started crying?

She couldn't see straight, and she was breathing far too fast. I can't die here. I still have to stop the experiments. I-I want to go home. I want to see my brothers first, I want to see them happy, I want to see Kishi happy again, I don't—

"I don't w-want to die yet..." she whispered to herself.

Dimitri soon reached Edelgard mumbling as he went, "Stab your chest...break your neck...smash your head. I will allow you to choose your own death."

"I'm not interested in methods of dying. All that matters is when death takes place, not how and I have no intention of dying today," the Emperor responded. 

"I'm sure all the people you've slaughtered so far thought the same!" He attacked with his sacred relic, Arheadbar, and she countered with Aymr. After clashing for a bit, Dimitri struck a solid blow. 

"I lost?” she said as she staggered, “Just as I expected you aren't making my path an easy one." Edelgard was warped away by her staff, retreating.

The central hill went up in flames, creating a distraction for the retreating Imperial army. Dimitri, Byleth, and Rodrigue stayed on their heels.

Most of the Alliance had fled which was for the best. Kishi started helping with cleaning up when he noticed Aster prancing about rider-less. He tilted his head with concern but then took a deep breath. Duty came first. It had to. He ran after the army with the Professor.

Mercedes finished healing Felix, taking stock of injuries, when she almost got run over by the Wyvern. Aster bounced around before taking off again, Mercedes in tow.

Xion was shaking and pale by the time Mercedes got there. Spots were dancing across her vision.

"Mercedes, I ca—I can't breathe." She was barely whispering.

Mercedes very carefully helped Xion sit up and pulled the arrow forward and out before quickly stuffing a clean rag in Xion's back and another in the front. She cast Mend which started the process of healing the internal damage but Xion was still bleeding a lot.

"Try not to talk too much," she instructed with a gentle, motherly voice. She waited a few moments and cast a second Mend. The internal damage was almost completely healed now but there was still some surface damage and open wounds on her back and chest. The magic couldn't help with blood loss but at least she wouldn't be losing too much more.

"Lay still, I'll go find a way to get you back to the monastery safely," the healer reassured her. Xion coughed and laid down with a whimper.

Felix and Ashe came back with Mercedes. They managed to get a decent stretcher put together and very gently lifted Xion onto it. She passed out not long after the shift.


	18. Harpstring Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> Waiting  
> Tense  
> Missing Brass  
> Boundaries  
> The King’s Triumphant Return

5/3 - Waiting

Xion woke up to a coughing fit. It had happened a few times that morning and night, but she couldn't stay awake after them. It still hurt to breathe, but it wasn't as bad as it had been. She blinked her eyes open slowly and Mercedes put a hand gently on her shoulder.

"Try not to move too much, ok?" the healer said gently.

She nodded and settled back in the bed.

"What happened after?" Xion croaked, her voice pained.

"We brought you back here to the monastery. All of us had to retreat after… Rodrigue was killed saving Dimitri," she told Xion, "You were really hurt, we were worried you wouldn't make it."

"...I thought I was going to die there."

"It's ok, Xion," Mercedes said with a smile, "You made it."

"...thanks. How—" she was interrupted by another coughing fit, "...how long was I asleep?"

"It's been about a week..."

Xion groaned.

"I sent Annie to get some tea. Do you think you can try some?" Mercie offered.

"Yeah. Tea sounds nice and it usually helps with nausea."

It took Annette some time, but she came with tea and a stack of mugs.

"Hey Mercie! Oh Xion, you're awake!"

"Hi Annette."

"You look awful..." She set the tea down and Mercedes started to prepare it.

"Well next time I'll do my makeup before I'm shot," Xion grumbled. They both giggled a little awkwardly.

"We can help you with that," Mercedes offered.

"No. Don't you dare."

Now the giggle was just happy giggling without the awkward.

"I'll call Ingrid to protect me," Xion threatened.

"Ingrid can be pretty scary," Mercedes agreed. She poured the tea and offered Xion the cup.

"Do I need help sitting up or am I allowed to do that myself?"

"You shouldn't push yourself too hard but if you can then you should."

She sat up with some difficulty and took the teacup. It was warm and Xion spent awhile just holding it.

Mercedes poured some for Annette and herself and they sat there together in pleasant silence while they drank.

Xion just sipped at her tea to make sure it stayed down. She only drank about half the cup.

"I took notes in the strategy meetings if you want to brush up on them," Annette offered.

"That'd be great. Did anyone bring Aster back?"

"Kishi did," Annette told Xion.

"He was late coming back from Gronder Field because he stayed behind to calm her down and catch her again is what I heard," Mercedes said.

She felt weird hearing his name.

"...is it Saturday?"

"Yeah it is," Mercedes said, mildly surprised.

"How did you know Xion?" Annette asked.

"Lucky guess." It would be hard for the universe to orchestrate a meeting with her stuck here.

"I think Kishi still has your Wyvern in the stables with him," Annette added, "Instead of keeping her with the other Wyverns."

"That sounds like a recipe for disaster."

They both giggled.

"It does doesn't it?" Mercedes asked.

"I don't know," Annette added, "I think it's kind of sweet."

"Mercedes, is it normal for my chest to feel tight? It just came on all of a sudden," Xion asked with concern.

"Let me go ask Professor Manuela. Maybe you should lay back down." Mercedes got up and left the infirmary. She nodded and eased back.

Mercedes came back a few minutes later, saying, "I think the professor went out. Is your chest still tight?"

"No, just hurts now."

"Maybe you should try to rest some more," she suggested, "if it still hurts tomorrow, we can get some herbs for a tea to help with the pain."

"I've been sleeping for a week and been up about an hour. I'm not going to be up and active, anyway."

"Here! You can read through the notes then!" Annie put a massive pile of notes on Xion's lap.

"Annette, your note-taking is impeccable as always." Xion took the first page.

"We'll let you get to studying," Annette said as she got up.

"Feel better!" Mercedes added.

Xion read for a while. The real reason she wanted to stay up was to see if the powers that be would somehow make a meeting happen anyway, but they didn't. Not this time. She eventually fell asleep.

* * *

5/10 - Tense

Xion was sitting in the dining hall. She'd been discharged that morning on strict orders to take it easy, rest often, and come back if she felt anything unusual.

"Looks like you're doing better."

She startled up, stammering, "Y-yeah. Little bit."

"Well enough to train?" Felix asked.

"No," she pouted, "I'm grounded and banned from exercise."

"Shame. It's hard to find good sparring partners but it's for the best."

"You can always ask the Professor."

"I guess so. How long have you been up?" he asked.

"An hour."

"At least you were smart enough to get decent food first."

"I've been on a mostly liquid diet for a week. Wanted something solid," -and not necessarily healthy. She loved cinnamon buns too much.

"Well it's good to see you on your feet." He walked off.

"Good to be back." She said to no one. Then coughed. It wasn't nearly as heavy or drawn out as it had been when she first woke up.

Kishi snuck into the kitchen to pick up a quick meal. The chefs who worked there saw him coming and were trying to coax him to the back of the line but he was trying to cozy up to them so he could get back to work faster.

Xion saw him and perked up. She'd been seated for about an hour; a little walk was probably fine. She made her way over.

"Missed you last week."

He stopped bartering for food to turn to look at her.

"Xion? You're up?"

"Well I'm not sleeping. I think."

"Are you sure it's ok for you to be up?" Kishi asked with concern.

She waved a hand.

"Mercedes cleared me an hour or so ago. I have a lot of restrictions but I'm good."

He smiled a little. His hair was out of place and he had dark circles under his eyes. His light armor for around the monastery was dirty and unpolished and he had mud caked onto his boots, no doubt leftover from the rain a couple nights prior.

"I'm glad you're ok."

"You don't look so good. Did something happen?"

"It's just been a long couple of weeks," he said. There was relief in his eyes. He was full of regret still. She could've died and he wouldn't have even known for some time. Xion had already been taken halfway to the monastery before he even knew she was hurt. He felt horrible for it even though he knew he shouldn't have.

"...I heard Rodrigue died. I know you held a lot of respect for him. I'm sorry."

The relief turned to grief and his shoulders slumped a little. He wasn't hungry anymore.

"He was a good man. I'm just glad some good came out of his death."

"Something good?" she asked.

"It seemed to snap Dimitri into some semblance of sanity. He's not trying to kill us anymore."

Xion looked down. She wasn't sure that was good news—lots of soldiers had died for Dimitri and it took someone close to him dying to snap him out of it. To Xion, it was more a sign of just how far gone he had been.

"Byleth's probably happy about that."

"I think everyone is," Kishi said a little more softly, "Hey, I need to go finish my chores. Aster is in the hay barn. She will really want to see you."

She nodded.

"I'm glad to see you, Kishi." Oh yeah. Her Wyvern was with the horses.

"I'm glad you're ok." Was that too personal? "The army really needs you."

She looked down as he said that.

"Yeah. Thanks. I'll...go see Aster now." She turned to go.

He just nodded politely, feeling relieved that she was ok, and horrible that he butchered the social interaction. He sighed and left the kitchen to go finish his chores.

Going to see Aster alone was probably not a great idea as she bowled Xion over as soon as she was in the door.

* * *

5/17 - Missing Brass

Kishi came into the tack room with a saddle that needed repairing. He set it on a stand and started unbuckling the worn straps when he heard all the rustling. Xion was going through every wyvern's tack and harnesses. With a curious tilt of his head he went up and down the rows of saddles to see who it was.

"Xion? What are you doing?"

She looked up.

"You brought Aster home. Kishi, where did you put the brass?"

He had to think for a moment before admitting, "I didn't see any brass on her tack."

"No...no, no, no, I put it on her just before the battle..." She went back to searching the tack.

Kishi's brow furrowed. Now he was worried that maybe he misplaced it. He started looking through the loose tack as well.

She was trying to hide it, but she was genuinely upset. The brass had been with her every day since leaving the monastery—if it wasn't on her wyvern, it was on her person but it wasn't with her things when she finally got them back from Mercedes, and it wasn't with Aster's tack. The lost and found was a bust too. Kishi checked there twice and then ran back to the hay barn to see if he could find it there. No luck.

When he got back, Xion was seated with her head in her hands. She was still supposed to be resting often and limiting activity.

"Xion? Is it really that important?" he asked. It was just a tiny thing she had gotten as a holiday present.

"...it shouldn't be, but it is. It's not like I lost a key or an important letter, but I feel wrong not having it. Like a kid losing their favorite toy or security blanket."

"I didn't realize it meant that much... Can I get you a new one?"

"... that'd be nice. I'll keep looking for the old one, but that'd... it'd help."

He fished around in his back pocket.

"Hold onto this for me in the meantime." Kishi offered her another brass, this one had a lion on it too, but it was on an intricate background, a field with distant horses and surrounded by laurels. There was faded script on the edges and the back.

Xion took it and tucked it in her vest pocket.

"I'll take good care of it. Thank you, Kishi."

He nodded and got back to working on repairs. Xion checked the tack once more before going to see Aster.

* * *

5/24 - Boundaries

Xion was laying on her back in the gardens. It was an unusually warm day and she was enjoying the sun until Kishi dropped a book on her belly. Her eyes shot open and she sat up.

"Wha—oh. Hello, Kishi."

"You should probably be studying for your exam."

"I'm still grounded for a week. I don't think I'll be taking it just yet."

"Then you have an extra week to study." He sat next to her with his own books.

"I passed the written part last time. Do you want help studying?" she asked.

"I'm good. I don't have a problem with studying, just finding the time for it."

Xion picked up the book he dropped on her and cracked it open.

"Are you taking your great knight exams this week?" she asked.

"N-No," he said, "I'm nowhere near ready."

"Study-wise or skill-wise?"

"Both," he admitted.

"Well then. I guess I'll try to make the next few Saturdays study and training sessions instead of just random meetings."

"You don't have to do that."

"I don't mind helping you."

"I study at weird times..."

"I'm awake at weird times."

"I don't have set study times, most of the time I need to study while doing chores," Kishi debated, fumbling for an excuse.

"Then I can read the books aloud to you."

Kishi shut his mouth and hid his face in the book. He was losing the argument.

"And for training, I need to do that anyway, once I'm allowed," Xion continued.

"We train differently."

"We both need axe skills for the test."

She really wasn't letting him off the hook.

"I... Yeah, you're right," he admitted.

"Unless you want to keep Saturdays random."

"I just..." Kishi sighed, "think we need to be careful and keep some distance."

That... didn't sound good to Xion.

"Why?" she asked.

"It's just... hard to be around you sometimes." He was trying really hard to not hurt her feelings, but he also needed to protect himself some. It made finding the right words very difficult.

"...oh." She looked down and scratched her arm. "I'm sorry."

It broke his heart to see her upset like that.

"Xion, it's not your fault. I hope you know that."

"But I'm the one always hanging around."

"But you don't get a say in what I feel."

"... would you be _ happier _ ...if I wasn't around so much?"

"That's not fair, Xion."

"I'm asking. I'm not judging."

"I'm not going to answer that."

"... alright." She didn't think he'd be hesitant to answer if it was no and he could tell she was disappointed.

"Xion, look, I can't know the answer."

"I don't want to hurt you."

"That's not something you can control."

"I can try."

"And what if you make it worse? You don't know how I feel, you don't know what I need."

"You can tell me if it's worse. Or what you think you need."

"And I do and will continue to do so," Kishi insisted.

"But it will never get better if we don't do something different."

"I'm just saying we need to be careful."

"What does that mean, exactly?" Xion asked.

"It means maybe I handle my own studying."

"... alright. I'm sorry."

Despite his own warning he reached out to put his hand over hers.

"Don't," he said gently, "don't apologize. It's not your fault, not even a little bit."

_ Not everything is yours, either. _ She turned her hand up to his. Kishi squeezed it reassuringly and then let go and got up.

"I have to turn the horses out. See you in the strategy meetings."

"Yeah. See you then." She handed his book back. He smiled at her with tired eyes and then walked away.

* * *

5/31 - The King’s Triumphant Return

Xion was tacking up Aster just outside of Fhirdiad. Kishi's brass hung from her harness.

After Rodrigue’s sacrifice, Dimitri’s narrow-minded urge to kill Edelgard was curbed and prioritized had changed. Recovering the Kingdom and taking the throne was the new priority. They were poised to recover the capital in the name of the King.

Atlas was already ready to go and waiting near the front lines while Kishi helped a few others double check their gear. He mounted up when he was sure things were in order and headed up to get his orders from the Professor. He was readjusting some gear to compensate for some extra weight. Byleth had given him a stronger axe to deal with.

Aster sauntered up to Atlas once they were ready.

"I'm following you again," Xion told him as she approached.

"I figured when you came over here."

"Which way are we going?" She adjusted herself in her saddle.

"We are flanking from the East."

"Understood."

"You're still hurt so I would prefer you not do any fighting," Kishi said.

"The Professor said the same. I'm only allowed a training lance and only allowed to take finishing shots."

He nodded and leaned over to get his lance from where it was propped up against a wall.

"Alright, let's go." Kishi squeezed Atlas' sides and he started moving out to get into position. Aster followed and Xion stayed quiet.

Kishi wasn't sure why their reinforcements were limited, but the professor sent them alone. Resistance was fairly heavy, but limited to normal enemy units as opposed to the Titanus, the monstrous machine that the others were fighting some distance away.

Xion followed her orders well. Only attacking once to finish off an enemy Kishi had mostly cut down.

He focused a lot on using the Silver Axe he was given, getting a feel for the weight in his hands. It didn't take them long to loop around and regroup with the others as they pushed Cornelia. Dimitri was within range of her when he was stopped by another enemy unit. It took him a second to dispatch his attacker giving Cornelia an opportunity to target him. She had a crazed gleam in her eye as she attacked with a Luna spell. Kishi saw her winding up and abandoned Xion for a minute to rush in. Atlas body checked Dimitri out of the way and Kishi took the hit. It bought Dimitri time to rush Cornelia, they briefly exchanged words, and then Dimitri dealt a fatal blow.

Xion flew in once Dimitri moved out.

"Do you need to see Mercedes?" she asked.

The armor had protected Atlas well, but Kishi was dazed. Dark magic always effected the body so strangely. Fire burned, thunder shocked, but dark magic was so different. Kishi wasn't bleeding or visibly hurt but he felt drained, like the life had been sapped from him, and it was hard to lift the axe.

"I think I'll be ok," he mumbled around panting breaths, "the battle's over anyway."

"...I think you should see her anyway."

"I'm not in any immediate danger," he said softly, "when things settle down, I will, promise."

"... alright."

The Professor and Dimitri crowded Cornelia as she died before barking some orders. The city was reclaimed, and the Kingdom traitors were to be rounded up and weapons taken as part of the surrender. Dimitri seemed more willing to let them go or offer to take them into his own army rather than kill them like he might've a few months ago but Xion was still wary and stood back with Kishi.

Dimitri motioned for Dedue, Kishi, Sylvain, and Felix to follow him and the Professor to the palace before he started walking. Kishi was a little anxious but he dismounted and slowly started to walk after them, using his lance for support.

Xion watched from afar. She wasn't called and still wasn't sure about Dimitri or Dedue.

Atlas pawed the ground and started to follow Kishi until Kishi pushed him off.

"Xion, will you hold him?" he asked. She nodded and dismounted to take his reins. Atlas wasn't happy with that and fought her some as Kishi went up into the palace.


	19. Garland Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Next Day  
> Another Day  
> Just Not Ready  
> Lakeside Camping  
> The Golden Deer’s Plea

6/1 - The Next Day

Blue Lions were staying in the palace for a bit while things settled down. Dimitri was introduced to the people who accepted him as King, and he had gathered all the Kingdom lords to pressure them into rejoining the Kingdom against the Empire. Any who put up a fuss were jailed.

For now, Kishi tended to Atlas. He was feeling a bit better. Food and rest had helped but he was still unwilling to let a stable hand take care of his last connection to his grandfather.

Xion came to the stables in the afternoon to check on Aster.

"Hey. Are you feeling better?" she asked when she noticed Kishi. He looked at her over Atlas' back.

"Yeah. Just needed some rest to recharge. Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Not supposed to do anything strenuous but I can return to regular activities."

"That's good... It looks like we might win the war after all."

"Yeah. It does." She fidgeted a moment before asking, "What are you going to do after?"

"Dimitri reinstated me," he said quietly, "I swore allegiance with the other lords to the Kingdom. With my brother missing, I'm the only Heir of House Rowe and Arianrhod. I will serve the Kingdom for the rest of my days as a Knight and noble."

"Is that something you want?"

"I don't know."

"... maybe you'll still be able to visit the bakery if you're in Enbarr, then. If it's... something you can do."

"I didn't intend to live long enough to fulfill any duty like this," he said quietly as he brushed the horse, “it was always my purpose, my dream... but... I don't think I'm worthy of it."

"Well...what would you need to do to earn it?" Xion asked.

"I don't think I can... some things can't be forgiven."

"Does Dimitri know? What you did, and why?"

He admitted, "I couldn't let him restore my name without telling him."

"...whether you think you deserve forgiveness doesn't change the fact that you have been forgiven."

"I just... I'm scared I can't live up to my grandfather or be good enough to make up for what I did."

"You've already done so much."

"But is it enough?" he asked himself quietly. Kishi stopped brushing to rest his forehead against the horse's side.

"I can't answer that. It's probably a question you'll always be asking but the farther away it gets, the less important it will seem."

"If only my brother hadn't run."

"How much would change?" Xion asked.

"I guess in some ways this puts me back on track before I betrayed everyone. Like nothing ever changed."

"Can you accept that?"

"I don't really have a choice." He went back to brushing.

"You always do. Even if the other option is something you won't consider. It usually means you know who you are."

"What are you going to do?" he asked.

"I need to stop the experiments. Even now, during the war, they're still taking kids. Edelgard does nothing… and then I want to find a way to reverse what they did. I'm not ready to die, I realized that in Gronder." She realized other things too, but it seemed cruel to say them now.

"When the war is over, I'll have power again. If you want help..."

"Will _you_ be able to? Or would you send others with me?"

"Which would you prefer?" Kishi asked.

"I'm asking if you'll be able to leave your position as the head of your house while you are so new to it. I'd love to have your help, but I know how strong your sense of duty is."

"That's what being a Knight means but maybe I could do both."

"...if you can, I'd like to have you along."

"Would you consider staying in Arianrhod?" he asked softly, "after you finish what you set out to do?"

"... Maybe. I think that might be something I'd like to do."

"I'm sure Arianrhod needs a decent bakery in its walls."

She laughed, "so that's what you want me for! Free pastries."

Oh she had the most darling laugh... He hid behind his horse and focused a little harder on brushing.

"Yeah, that's it."

"Not my breadful puns, then?"

"Keep that up and I won't let you in the city at all," he promised.

"Of course. Maybe. I dunno that I can go back to a life of kneading dough after everything."

"Stay a Knight."

"But then you won't get your pastries except on special occasions… but I'd probably get to see you more and that's definitely a plus."

"Be a Knight for me. Your family can move to Arianrhod," he said a little more hopeful.

"I'm pretty sure my family will move back to Enbarr, but that...seems like a good life for me." It wasn't... exactly what she wanted, but it was still good.

He nodded a little but knew it was wishful thinking. She would ultimately want to stay near her family, and he wasn't sure he could comfortably be her master. As much as he would want to see her frequently, Kishi knew it would hurt his heart too much. It was just a dream in the end.

"Would I get vacations to visit them? I don't know if I can completely let them go."

"Of course," he said gently as he moved to combing Atlas' mane.

"Then I'm not seeing any downsides."

"Yeah, me neither."

A part of it hurt. She'd get to stay. She'd probably see him happy, but she'd probably have to see other things. Things that would remind her that she was just too late for it.

"If you still want it by the end of the war, let me know," she said softly.

"Yeah, let's focus on getting that far first."

"Yeah." Xion picked out Aster's tack and left.

"Have a nice day, Kishi."

"You too, Xion."

* * *

6/14 - Another Day

Xion was leaving Hanneman's office upstairs when Kishi literally ran into her and she fell over.

"I am so sorr- Hey, Xion."

She stared up from the floor.

"...Hi."

He offered her a hand, saying, "Sorry about that."

"Not the first time it's happened." She took it and pulled himself up. He nodded politely and kept walking. Xion almost followed him, but turned to go downstairs instead.

* * *

6/21 - Just Not Ready

Kishi was almost done packing to head to Alliance territory. After the recapture of Fhirdiad, Claude had reached out, requesting help in Deirdru, the Alliance capital.

Now that he was reinstated, people were more respectful and the expectation that Kishi was just the quartermaster was gone. People were looking up to him a bit more and he was doing more coordinating than actual work.

He passed by where Xion was drawing in the gazebo courtyard, giving orders to a couple stable workers.

She slammed the book shut when she heard his voice. Nope. No way was he seeing what she had been drawing.

He took a deep breath and checked a few notes in his book before he noticed her. He waved awkwardly from the path. She waved back, staying on the bench and he walked over to her.

"Hey, is Aster all ready to move out soon?" he asked.

"Aster's almost always ready to fly places. Just throw a saddle on and you're good. Is Atlas?"

"Yeah, he's doing alright. Debating if I bring the extra armor or not."

"Have you passed your great knight test yet?" she asked and patted the bench next to her.

"Haven't tried taking it yet."

"You'll pass. You were always at the head of the class."

"It's not the test I'm worried about."

"What is it?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to wear the armor," Kishi admitted.

"You've been using axes more lately. If you don't think you're ready, I'd talk to Byleth. She doesn't say much, but she always seems to know the right thing to say."

"She wants me to take the test. I'm just not sure I'm ready... emotionally." He scratched the back of his head/neck awkwardly.

"Atlas is a Great Knight horse. I'm not sure I can fill my grandfather's shoes yet."

"Maybe don't put it all on yet? Like, start with just the greaves and work up to it emotionally at the same time as physically.”

He thought about that for a second and admitted, "That's actually a really good idea. Thanks."

"You're welcome." Xion tapped her pencil on the cover of her book. He stood there awkwardly for a second.

"I'm going to go check the other guys."

She nodded.

"Guess I'll go pack."

Kishi shuffled away back to the hay barn.

* * *

6/28 - Lakeside Camping

There was a lake halfway between Garreg Mach and Derdriu. The company decided to stop there for the day and wait for tomorrow's ferries, rather than take five days to go around.

Xion was on dinner rotation, so she had a few hours to kill. She took off all of Aster's tack and changed into her lounge clothes before heading down to the lake. Wyverns were excellent fishers so Xion was letting Aster get some extra exercise at the same time as feeding her and entertaining herself.

Xion was riding bareback and enjoyed diving with her. Eventually she started jumping off Aster before they hit the water. Trying to make as big of a splash as she could. She was laughing and grinning through most of it. She had one bad jump turn into a twenty-foot belly flop.

Kishi had set up camp near the edge so he could keep an eye on the horses and have some semblance of privacy. What he hadn't expected was for the animals to be kept between camp and the lake. The view was great, but the traffic was unwelcome. People periodically passed by to check out the water. He tossed some fish to his stowaway cat and ate some himself while he worked a piece of raw brass in his hand using a pair of pliers and a small hammer.

He watched Xion while he worked with the hand tools. Kishi wasn't trying to be creepy but he was zoning out some while he worked and watched and ended up staring.

Who would've thought that bratty Wyvern would've made such a good companion? Kishi didn't really care for flying. He was very scared of heights and for every cat or horse that liked him there was a Pegasi or Wyvern that did not. The cat he had brought along climbed up his body to lay across his shoulders while he worked. It purred and headbutt him, admittedly more of a distraction and a hindrance than a comfort. He looked up at Aster again and then back at the metal in his hand. He made some adjustments and then checked again. So far so good.

What a change of pace, to see Xion so happy. He felt like that was such a rare expression these days. He'd never been able to make her happy like that. His heart hurt some thinking along that route.

Eventually Xion and Aster retreated from the water. Xion went to start dinner prep—Sylvain had suggested dinner with the class separate tonight, which meant two dinners to prepare.

When Xion got out of the water, Kishi had made himself scarce. He didn't want her to think he had been stalking her, so he had made himself busy helping with camp.

Xion gathered the class a few hours later. Everyone was handed a plate with raw dough, two mostly-cooked sausages, fruit, and a clean wooden dowel with one sharp end several feet long.

"Um..." Felix started to say, clearly confused.

"We're doing campfire food. You get to do some actual cooking yourself and socialize for once," Xion explained.

Felix looked annoyed, Dedue looked pleased, Mercedes and Annette were excited, and Ashe looked apprehensive but hopeful. Dimitri was already asking Dedue for help, Sylvain was offering to help Ingrid with hers, and Ingrid was having no trouble getting set up without any help. The Professor also knew what to do which left Kishi who was at a loss. Fortunately, it didn't take a lot of thought to figure it out.

He sat with Sylvain and Felix to cook his food. His cat stole one of his sausages.

Xion took a seat near the fire ring and began packing the dough over the blunt end of the stick. The dowel was lowered over the fire to cook the bread.

She settled in and asked, "What's something everyone's going to do once the war's over? Not like big life plans but little things you've missed. I'm going to dye my hair again."

It was a good discussion topic. Everyone had something small that they missed or an activity they never had time to participate in. Ingrid listed foods she missed, and Sylvain teased her for it before admitting he wished there were different girls around to hit on that didn't already know his tactics.

Xion shook her head at Sylvain. Byleth said something about being able to travel without needing to fight. Dedue mentioned gardening very briefly and Ashe mentioned learning how to cook a little better.

Felix, Dimitri, and Kishi hadn't answered. Felix was a fighter, Xion knew he wanted the war to end but wasn't looking forward to going home and Dimitri was King now, everything would be different. She still wondered about Kishi though.  _ Would he take his cats home with him? _ she wondered.

Kishi wasn't sure how to answer.

"I guess I miss exploring the countryside," he admitted, "It will be nice to be able to ride without armor."

Xion pulled the roasted bread off the stick and filled it with the fruit.

"Hey that's a good idea," Kishi mumbled as he scooted up closer to her to see what she was doing.

She'd cooked the dough in a tube so it could be stuffed. He mimicked her. The tone of the camp was relatively jovial. Some strategy was discussed but otherwise it was more like old times in class. One by one they excused themselves to rest.

* * *

6/30 - The Golden Deer’s Plea

Atlas ran down a couple mages before they could attack. Kishi and Sylvain were side by side cutting off reinforcements from the West. The battle was in full swing. The Kingdom army had shown up barely in time to see what was left of Claude’s resistance get pushed up against the harbor by the Imperial army. It wasn’t looking good for them and any well-crafted strategy had gone out the window when they got into the city.

The fliers had to deal with some archers, but not enough to be worrisome. It didn't take them long to meet up with Claude.

"About time," he greeted.

Xion turned in towards the city. She could see the Empire commander on his horse coming their way.

Kishi saw him too and left Sylvain to chase after him. He wasn't willing to let the commander get away. The closer they got the more Kishi recognized him. Lord Arundel. He was a scary but reasonable man. Dimitri might be able to reason with him.

Xion was closing in from the opposite side and Dimitri from the middle. It was an unintended but effective pinch. Arundel pulled up as Xion came up in front of him and tried to turn but Dimitri pushed him back against a building. Kishi promptly cut off his escape, trapping him.

Arundel didn't want to stick around and talk. Xion was directly between him and Claude, so he went after her.

"Lab rats belong in a cage," he growled as he pushed her.

Xion bit a rather strong Dark magic attack she couldn't identify, but the words made her blood run cold. She landed a heavy attack back at him but wasn't fast enough to hit twice. When Kishi saw Arundel go after Xion, he no longer cared about a diplomatic solution. He slammed his axe down on the man and Dimitri's lance nearly finished him off but somehow Arundel retreated, warping away.

Xion slid off Aster as the rest of the class cleared the city.

"Are you ok?" Kishi asked her.

"...fine. Just tired," she admitted, leaning on Aster, "Arundel is with the same group as Solon and Kronya."

Kishi frowned. Somehow it made sense.

"Is there anyone from my childhood who isn't evil?" he wondered aloud.

"Ashe?"

"...you're right. It's hard to imagine he's evil."

"...do you think your brother was evil, for leaving?"

His gaze hardened as he answered, "In a way, yes."

"...I see." She slid down to the ground.

"I'mma take...a little nap. Can you wake me up if someone needs something?" she asked him.

"R-Right here?"

"Why not? I'm tired and the battle's over and I don't want to fly back half asleep."

"Here, hop on, I can take you back to camp," Kishi offered. She blinked up at him.

"If I fall asleep on you that is your problem." She retrieved his brass from Aster and climbed up behind him.

"Well, try to stay awake as best you can." He turned Atlas and they started walking back to camp.

"No promises..."

He didn't push the horse too quickly. If she did fall asleep, he wanted to be sure she didn't fall off, so they stayed at a brisk walk. She fell asleep just before they got to camp.

Kishi held her arms gently to keep her from falling off until he got back to camp. He very carefully got down and pulled her off the horse to carry her. He stood in the middle of camp for a second before he realized that he wasn't sure which tent was hers. Awkwardly, he took her to his instead, setting her down on the cot and covering her with the fur blanket before excusing himself to help clear out the city.

She woke up a few hours later and went through a stage of confusion and then fluster.


	20. Blue Sea Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> Vanitas   
> Beasts and Brothers  
> Asking for Help  
> The Silver Maiden  
> The Impregnable Fortress

7/5 - Vanitas

" _ Let me go _ !" Xion's shouting could be heard from the entrance hall.

Kishi was passing by with his arms full of armor. The second he heard Xion's voice, he dropped what he was holding and rushed in to see what was going on. A man with spiky black hair and his back to Kishi had Xion in a headlock.

Kishi’s eyes narrowed as he assessed the situation in a few moments. This guy wasn't wearing armor consistent with the Knights of Seiros or any of their assigned battalions and he was clearly well travelled. He immediately suspected an Imperial assassin looking for the Kingdom spy, Xion. He rushed forward and punched the man in the side.

The man dropped Xion and turned on Kishi. A sword was out and at Kishi’s throat in the blink of an eye.

"Who do you— _ you _ ." His bright yellow eyes went from irritated to enraged within seconds of seeing Kishi.

"Where's my brother?" the mysterious man snarled.

Kishi had an expression caught in the middle of a feral, overprotective snarl. He had pulled a dagger from his belt and had it pressed against this other guy's gut, keeping them in an effective stalemate. 

"Wouldn't you like to know," Kishi spat.

"Where the  _ fuck _ is Sora, Riku?"

Now Kishi faltered, the snarl turned into a more guarded scowl while he processed that. A flurry of emotions cycled through him for a second. This guy was looking for Kishi's  _ brother _ . Riku and Kishi  _ were _ virtually identical. Aside from Riku's crest, they could've been the same person.

He didn't appreciate the implication that Riku was a kidnapper. Kishi was already struggling to cope with Riku being a deserter but this? Sword at his throat or not, Kishi punched the man in the face.

The man lunged forward and Xion stepped between them.

"Can you two  _ not _ kill each other?" she asked. The newcomer stepped back at that.

"You're going to defend the scum who took Sora away? Who made our father lose  _ another _ child? Xion, what the  _ hell _ ?"

"Kishi was still at the academy when Sora ran away. You have the wrong person."

" _ Our _ father?" Kishi asked, all riled up now and more than itchy to fight especially with this guy talking badly about Riku, "I don't give a shit who you are or who you think I am, my brother is a lot of things but he doesn't steal people away!"

" _ Both of you stop _ !" They were starting to attract attention from the other people in the entrance hall.

"Kishi, this is my asshole brother, Vanitas," Xion introduced. Vanitas went from angry to suspicious, lowering his sword. Kishi was still wired and wary but he still put his dagger away and walked up to Xion to check that she wasn't hurt, making sure he was always facing Vanitas who was sizing him up the whole time.

"Why do you look so much like Riku?"

Kishi ignored him to ask, "Are you alright, Xion?"

"I'm fine, Kishi."

Vanitas did  _ not _ like that.

"Answer me, kid."

"You were shouting earlier," Kishi said to Xion, a little more softly this time, more gentle and protective.

"Vanitas was being an ass," she assured him.

"I was  _ teasing _ you!"

"He's not a Knight or hired by the monastery," Kishi told her, still ignoring Vanitas, "I can throw him out if he's bothering you."

"I'm actually here on war business. Not a pleasure visit," he was apparently saying to no one.

She sighed, "It probably wouldn't do very much if you tried. Vanitas can get into anything. Van, if you're not here to be rude, state your business."

"I found an Empire facility full of Demonic Beasts."

"Found? Or own?" Kishi snapped.

" _ Kishi. _ "

"I hunt Beasts, I don't breed them. After everything the Empire has put my family through, why would I even  _ consider _ helping them?"

Kishi double checked Xion again and then stood away, watching Vanitas with narrowed eyes.

"Dimitri and the Professor should know about it then. Leave your weapons with Xion and I'll take you to them."

"I can find my own way and you don't take weapons from other visitors. This isn't the first time I've been here, kid. Rhea used to employ me," Vanitas countered.

"Don't call me ‘kid’ and maybe you haven't noticed but the Archbishop isn't in charge anymore. Rules are different so if you want help then you do what I say." Kishi was still a little burned by their first impression.

"How old are you?" Vanitas asked as he handed Xion his sword and a hidden dagger. He had three more on him anyway.

"Old enough," Kishi growled.

"Lead the way then, grandpa." His hand shot out and grabbed Vanitas by his collar.

"You wanna run that by me again?"

"You're the one who said old enough and has grey hair."

Kishi was ten seconds from punching this guy again when he felt a hand on his shoulder. The Professor had been passing by and saw the scuffle. She frowned and Kishi let go with some effort.

Vanitas smirked at him and addressed Byleth, "You must be my sister's Professor. I've heard quite a lot about  _ you _ , let's talk away from the children."

He started to wind up a punch but Byleth's grip tightened so he took a deep breath before walking away to cool. Byleth nodded politely to Vanitas and motioned for him to follow her to find Dimitri. Xion followed Kishi while Vanitas went with Byleth.

"Hey, I'm  _ sorry _ about him. I swear he's not always that bad," she said.

Kishi could tell he was still worked up, so he ignored her for a second. He didn't want to lash out at her in a misguided rage. He turned and punched the wall instead. His gauntlets absorbed a lot of the impact so he didn't break anything, but it still hurt.

"He knows my brother."

"He thinks your brother took Sora."

"Sora your brother?" he asked for clarification.

"Yeah. He went missing right before the war, left a note."

"I guess Riku and I will have to discuss that."

"Sora apparently ran away with his boyfriend. Van's just pissed and looking to vent."

"How is that Riku's fault?"

"I'm assuming it's someone who looks like your brother and has the same name."

Kishi growled and paced for a second.

"I'm going to go care for Atlas."

"Do you need some space?" Xion asked.

"I'm fine, just... angry and I don't know why."

"... do you want to talk? Or is that too close?"

"That's probably too close. I'll see you later. It sounds like we'll have an extra mission this month."

She nodded and walked off. He stomped off to the stables to muck out empty stalls.

Vanitas finished arrangements and went looking for Kishi. He asked around a bit and got directed to a barn. Not what he expected but oh well. He let himself in and petted cats while he waited.

Satisfied with the state of the stalls, Kishi went back to the barn to get ready for dinner. He froze when he saw Vanitas, that bubbling pit of anger already rolling in his gut again.

"This isn't where I'd expect a young Lord to stay. But that's not my business, is it?"

"No it's not. What do you want?" Kishi growled.

"Actually, I need to talk to you about my sister."

Kishi immediately became more guarded.

"What about her?"

"You are the single most frustrating thing for me that could have happened to her."

Kishi snorted and relaxed a little bit. He moved to his chests of things to feed the cats.

"You seem to have all sorts of problems with my family."

"What is she to you?" Vanitas asked.

"She's just a classmate," he responded. A knife whizzed by Kishi’s ear.

"Don't lie to me again. I know everything she does."

Ok that freaked Kishi out a little bit. He steeled himself, channeling his anger as an effective mask. Slowly, Kishi stood up a little straighter, glaring down at the sitting Vanitas.

"You  _ think _ you know. You're pretty shit at intelligence if you think there's anything going on between me and your sister. Xion made it clear that she and I are just classmates so that's what we are. Your time is better spent looking for your brother, Sora. No doubt he's the one who took my brother away."

"I know there's nothing going on. Which is why I asked what she was to you, not what you are to each other. I'm not stupid, your first instinct was to protect her earlier and you made that little deal with the Empire to keep her safe." Vanitas completely ignored the jab at Sora.

Kishi’s eyes narrowed as he wondered if he was really that easy to read?

"What does it matter if nothing will become of it?" Kishi mumbled.

"Do you know what you are to her?"

"We're trying the friend thing, see what happens there."

"Wrong, but not that's not your fault. She's a good actor."

Kishi was getting angrier now. He didn't want to know any of this. Even if it was true, Xion said they couldn't be. They both had missions and duties to worry about too. It wasn't fair to play with his heart like this and dangle hope in front of his face. This was crueler than the things he said about Riku.

"Do you know where my brother is?"

"If I did I'd be there. I'm not here to talk about that. You're a flood where she's a drought."

"Stop," Kishi said firmly.

"No. Not a chance because you've fucked her over before and I need to make sure it won't happen again. The Agarthians took everything she had and sucked her dry and you, for reasons I cannot fathom, let her grow again. Then you took it all back. If that's where it ended, you'd be dead now and they wouldn't find your ashes, but it's not. When I say you're frustrating, it's because I want to strangle you for hurting her, but I can't because you're her best chance and you won't hear it. Your head's too far up your ass feeling sorry for yourself and remorse for everyone else to realize what you've done for her," Vanitas said while Kishi shook his head the whole time.

"You clearly don't know what's actually going on. I gave her everything(italics). I lit the world on fire and gave everything that I had including my future and the lives that were lost for Edelgard's war for her and it meant absolutely nothing to her. It was a complete and total waste, one sided. I get that I hurt her, but it was to save her life. I won't take that back, but I have a responsibility to not repeat it. We're friends, that's it. It will never be more than that. She doesn't want that."

"She loves you."

Kishi punched him.

"Fuck off."

Vanitas returned it, adding, "If you hurt her again, if I have to read one more tear-stained letter about you, I will hunt you down and rip your intestines out through your throat."

The hit sent Kishi to the ground. He grunted a little and rubbed his jaw.

"You'd kill me for something outside of my control?"

"Absolutely," Vanitas confirmed and started walking out, "Oh, and, as far as she's concerned? We never had this talk."

Vanitas retrieved the knife he had thrown and was gone.

Kishi spit his direction. He growled and kicked a few hay bales before grabbing his coat and Atlas' saddle. He stormed out, geared up his horse and raced out of the monastery to be alone.

* * *

7/12 - Beasts and Brothers

Xion and Aster were flying well above the class as lookout. Their destination wasn't in sight yet, but the beasts could be heard shrieking.

Kishi was hanging back. Vanitas was along for this mission and was up front near the Professor and Dimitri. Ever since their chat, Kishi had been avoiding everything, Xion, the monastery, and responsibilities. He was uncomfortable, hurt, and torn. That asshole had dumped all that information on him with zero regard for what it would do to him. Now Kishi's emotional train wreck was being swept down river over a cliff while it was still on fire.

Atlas tugged on the reins. The horse was eager to fight and could hear the beasts in the distance. Kishi let him tug a bit. He was too distracted to pay a lot of attention. What did Van expect from him? He sure as hell couldn't ask Xion out. Even if they did love each other there was a  _ war _ going on. A war that  _ he _ helped facilitate.

Kishi could still remember the way she looked at him when she stood by Hubert looking down at him while he groveled in the dirt. He could still remember how cold and rough the stone was under his knees when Edelgard humiliated him in front of the gates of Arianrhod or the way Xion looked at him when she came to break him out because she was ordered to. Five years of trying to atone and he didn't even feel ready to live let alone take care of her. He was keeping her at a distance out of self-preservation for both of their sakes but what if Vanitas decided that was hurting her? Well, at least he'd get his death wish so at least that wasn't so bad. In the meantime, he was left with an aching heart, the weight of responsibilities, and the burden of a happy fantasy that could never be.

Xion dropped down to the front when she spotted the enclosure. It was a fenced in field, maybe half a dozen beasts roaming about with mages interspersed throughout. There were two entrances, east and west and a large building in the center.

Xion and Ingrid would be able to fly over the fence, but Xion was sent East with Van's company.

Kishi was still only paying half attention when he got instructions, heading West with Dimitri and Sylvain. Sylvain kept flashing him confused looks, so Kishi was sure he wasn’t doing well hiding how distant he felt. He fiddled with his lance some as they moved along the fence to get in position.

Xion and Vanitas were looking at two monsters through the gate. Which put four on Byleth's side, though the building in the middle obscured them from view. Vanitas had them through the gate quickly and Xion took out the mage inside. The siblings fought silently, but the monsters were not so quiet. Shouting was heard from the building

Byleth broke down a part of the wall and Dimitri and Felix slipped inside. They went after the mages first, letting Sylvain and Kishi have a relatively safe path to the nearest monster. Atlas knew what to do before Kishi did and Kishi was snapped out of his daze when he almost fell off. The horse was racing towards the beast while Kishi fumbled to ready an attack. It was sloppy but he got the monster's attention.

The two teams were notably different in their approaches. As they started to focus more on the fight, Kishi, Sylvain, and Dimitri were more willing to hoot and holler to confuse the monsters. It was attracting most of the attention and providing a distraction.

It was not confusing the mages, but they seemed more preoccupied getting to the building than with stopping the intruders. Byleth noticed and called for a change in tactics.

Xion and Vanitas had to scramble to get to their new locations. They'd only taken down one beast on their side as various Dark mages advanced.

Kishi and Sylvain were finishing off the last beast while everyone took up positions. Kishi whistled to get Sylvain's attention and motioned to the other beast. Sylvain nodded and both of them kicked their horses into a canter racing to clean up. Sylvain's magic caught it off guard, herding it into a confined corner while Kishi jabbed at it with a lance.

Vanitas called his battalion to rain arrows on the beast, leaving Xion at the door. Not that Xion was struggling. Byleth had sent her in with a short axe and she was doing about the same damage to the mages as they were doing to her. Xion couldn't budge from the door, there weren't as many people on the east side. She plucked a door key off a fallen mage.

Kishi was still pretty damn close to the monster when the arrows rained down. Atlas balked a little in surprise. The beast went down and Kishi spun to see which idiot almost got him killed too. He glared at Vanitas before he turned to target a mage. Kishi had to be careful. He really wasn't good at tolerating magic attacks.

Vanitas just waved before chasing a different mage down but Kishi's javelin slammed into the Mage's chest moments before Vanitas could get to it. He frowned but moved his units to back up Xion all the same. 

Sylvain came up beside Kishi to take a hit meant for the paladin. It glanced off of the redhead's armor almost harmlessly.

"Thanks, man," Kishi said, still focused on the door to the building where Vanitas and Xion were. He was starting to zone out again.

"Kishi, you need to get back in the fight before you get killed."

He grunted in response and pushed Atlas towards the downed mage to retrieve his javelin, knocking down other mages along the way.

"Van, take over," Xion ordered as she used the key and got inside the building. Vanitas switched from sword to bow.

Kishi always got nervous when Xion dismounted. She seemed so much more vulnerable... His mind raced over what Van had said before and he shook his head. He had to give up on Xion. He had to for both their sakes.

Still distracted, he didn't see the attack coming. Dark Spikes surrounded Atlas. The horse knew it was in trouble and started to run but the spell blew up the ground behind them and Atlas and Kishi both went flying. Kishi skidded across the ground, coming to a stop on his belly while Atlas went rolling. The horse thrashed on his side until he was able to get footing and pull himself back up.

His pride was hurt more than he was. Kishi scrambled to his feet hoping that neither Vanitas nor Xion saw that. Fortunately, Xion was already inside. No such luck for Vanitas.

"Pay attention!" the man snapped in Kishi’s direction.

The silverette growled a little to himself as he mounted back up onto his horse. How embarrassing... Kishi sighed and tried to find someone else to attack but things were under control. Ashe, Annie, and Ingrid were cleaning up while Sylvain and Mercedes tended to Dimitri and Felix. Vanitas went to discuss things with Byleth. Xion didn't come out.

Kishi wasn't sure what to do now. He urged Atlas into a canter. It didn't look like anyone else was securing the perimeter. That was something he could do.

It took Xion half an hour to emerge… with a dozen children.

Mercedes and Annette were the first to approach with Mercie going into full mother mode. Dimitri hung back, talking to the Professor about the safest way to get them back to the monastery. Xion seemed dazed, following the kids around like a cloud following the wind.

These children were failures where she had been a success. Inside the building was a schedule for transformation. The six beasts they'd fought today had been kids a few weeks ago.

When Kishi was sure there weren't any other mages he came back to see the kids. He briefly talked to Ashe who filled him. It looked like they were planning to have the kids walk with the rest of the army back to safety at the monastery. All his problems seemed so small looking at them. Kishi was worrying over pointless things while these little ones were fighting for their lives.

He dismounted and went up to one of the smallest ones. A little boy no older than four but with much older eyes. He seemed shy and was afraid of Kishi. In response, Kishi put his hands up and spoke softly to reassure the kid.

"Hey, it's going to be ok. We're going to take you somewhere safe where they can't hurt you guys again." The little boy seemed to understand but there wasn't a lot of life left in the poor kid. Kishi gently picked the boy up and put him in Atlas' back.

"Ashe, Sylvain..." Kishi started. They understood and trotted over so Kishi could hand them kids to ride with. It didn't seem fair to make the kids walk anymore. They had been through enough. Kishi helped a seven-year-old girl get up on Atlas behind the little boy. The other kids he helped get mounted up with other horse units before they started to move out. Kishi walked beside his big war horse and their precious cargo.

Xion let her hair down to hide her face while they all interacted. She saw ghosts in those children's faces. The youngest was even smaller than Emer had been. The little girl riding with Ingrid could be Meg, if only her hair was a little longer. She remembered the identical outfits, how itchy they were, all white so they could tell if they were bleeding quickly. The food was always the same gritty mush that filled but had no taste. This was probably their first time outside in over a year.

Xion went back to the building and collected as many papers as she could before gathering wood and dry grass. They wouldn't use this building again.

Kishi’s entire focus was on those kids the entire way back. It was exhausting and by the time they made it back he was ready to collapse for the night.

Vanitas was quiet on the way back and travelled behind the group. He left a battalion for Xion and was gone by morning. Xion watched the building burn long into the night. She'd tied up the papers to make them easier to transport and arrived at the monastery in the very early morning. The papers were dropped in front of Hanneman's office and she went to the kitchens to start making breakfast for the kids. Different food would be the easiest way to show them it wasn't another lab.

* * *

7/19 - Asking for Help

Kishi had been pulled aside by Dimitri and the Professor. With the Alliance under Kingdom control, the kids from the raid placed in foster homes pending finding their real parents, and Enbarr back in the cross hairs, Dimitri wanted to ensure complete control of the Kingdom. There was one stronghold left in Kingdom territory that still belonged to the Empire: Arianrhod.

With Kishi set to inherit it, no one alive knew the fortress better and Dimitri wanted to know if it was practical to reclaim it. Kishi told him absolutely, but not with a high-quality assault team. He told the Professor and Dimitri a very loose strategy that would require some measure of stealth and they agreed to it.

Now it was a matter of getting the class together to tell them the change of plans. Kishi went to ask people individually. He knocked on Xion’s door.

There was a scrambling sound inside before the door opened.

"Hi—Kishi, hello."

"Professor wants to know if you're interested in joining a stealth mission."

"Uh...yeah, I guess I'm up for that. Do you have the details, or do I need to see her?" she asked.

"I'm filling everyone in when I'm sure who all is helping. We're going to meet in the strategy room."

"Got it. Thanks."

He went to track down a few more people before going to the strategy room himself.

The only people who had been invited were the original Blue Lions. Kishi hadn't missed any of them and they were quick to meet up, albeit with some grumbling from some of the guys who were mid-training when Kishi had grabbed them.

Xion sat at the far end of the room with Sylvain.

Kishi was nervous but the Professor was putting him in charge. It was the first time he had taken any kind of charge, even refusing to lead battalions these past five years. He stood up and called everyone to order.

"Thanks for coming," he greeted, "Listen, what we're asking... what I'm asking, is extremely dangerous and outside of what we've done in the past. So, if any of you want to leave now, you can."

No one got up. That made him feel better. He let out his held breath.

"We're going to reclaim Arianrhod." A few scattered cheers went up. Mainly from Sylvain. Kishi blushed, he hadn't expected the support at all, and he could feel the tears in his eyes.

"Um, since it was built, the city has only fallen twice, and I don't think there's an army alive that can reclaim it without help on the inside. I grew up there and was expected to inherit it, so I know every way in and out. I know how to get a small strike team inside. You guys are the most elite soldiers we have and the Empire's hold on the Kingdom is weakened. I think we can do it. Now that we know you all want to help; I will work with the Professor on the strategy. We move out in one week, this coming Saturday."

Xion had only been to Arianrhod once, to see Kishi while he was captive there and give him an escape plan, but to Kishi, it was home. It was where he grew up and now it was his responsibility. She nodded along with what he was saying.

The Professor dismissed them and most of them filtered out to start preparing but Kishi stayed to talk to Byleth. He was holding a sealed, worn letter, discolored from ash, dirt, and consistent handling. They talked in low tones before Byleth nodded and they left together.

Xion was one of the last to leave.

* * *

7/20 - The Silver Maiden

Everyone was heading out after meeting discreetly in the woods outside Garreg Mach. Kishi was a little bit late so Byleth was giving out initial orders. No one was assigned battalions and they were all armed very carefully. For a large part of the mission, they would be separated into pairs or groups of three. Kishi finally caught up down the road.

Atlas was decked out in the heavy armor of a Great Knight, Kishi too. He had taken the exam early that morning and felt compelled to offer a prayer to the goddess for her help before leaving. He tucked the now open letter under his armor and rode up to stop Xion.

"Hold up a second," he said as he approached.

She stopped and turned Aster around.

"Yeah? What's up?"

He dismounted and moved up to Asher's tack to remove the brass. He slid a new one on. Also, finished this morning.

"The brass I loaned you was my Grandfather's. Now that Atlas is a Great Knight horse again, I think he needs it back. Hopefully, this one I made will be an ok replacement." Kishi attached Gwendal's brass to Atlas' bridle, under the armor that covered his face. Then he mounted up and shifted the armor around appropriately.

The brass that he left on Aster was shiny and new. It depicted Aster herself mid-roar, surrounded by laurels entwined with little polished flowers. The same kind they had used to make flower crowns all those years ago.

"...thank you, Kishi. It really does mean a lot to me." Xion couldn't see it mounted but she would later.

"Yeah, don't die today," he said gently, albeit a little detached. He still had Van's warning ringing around through his head. He urged Atlas into a run to catch up to the front of the line. He knew a more isolated way to get to the city and was leading them there.

"...you too, Kishi." Not that he heard.

It didn't take long to reach the city at all. Rowe territory was close to Garreg Mach just across Gaspard territory. Kishi was the last to get into position. He had to personally take people to their respective entry points. Everyone, aside from Kishi and the flying units, opted to leave their mounts behind, choosing other classes that could move more swiftly and fit in tighter corners on foot. Armor was hidden under travelling cloaks to better blend with the populace inside the walls.

Xion and Ingrid, as flying units, were instructed to enter through the main tower. There was a ballista up there but visibility close to the walls was poor. Very, very careful flying/climbing could get them to the top without the ballista or guards noticing.

Dimitri, Dedue, and Mercedes were entering through a false wall in the north. Sylvain, Felix, and Ashe were coming in through a loose drainage gate under the city. Annette and Byleth were entering through a guard tower near the main gate and Kishi knew a way in through the stables that was more horse friendly.

Everyone was to enter the city, find a hiding place, and wait until they got a signal from Ingrid and Xion. They had each been given a mirror to signal the others from the captured tower. It was the only place in the city that could see all the other entry points.

Xion had chosen to climb where Ingrid would fly. Aster was waiting for a hand sign to join her. Xion couldn't be as fast as Ingrid, but she was far quieter than the steady wingbeats of a wyvern. Taking out the ballista from there was easier than expected.

The Empire was trying too hard to rely on Arianrhod's reputation and everyone found that any guards they had to take out early went down fast and quietly. The goal was to get to the Main Hall of the noble's living quarters. It was a big building, just shy of a palace off to one side where the walls were the thickest and the patrols heavier. Kishi suspected that was where the Officer in charge of Arianrhod would be. Removing him would likely lead to a surrender.

With the signal received, the others moved up to surround the palace. Kishi didn't join them. He went through the stables tack room to find the ornamental pieces of Atlas' armor. The sashes and flags of the Gray Lion were hung from his gear and then Kishi mounted up. This was the riskier part of the plan. Kishi knew how beloved his Grandfather was to the residents of the fortress city, the soldiers weren't going to all go down to just their small band.

He led Atlas out into the light and waited until he saw Ingrid and Xion land within the inner walls of the mansion home. Kishi had already talked to the stable staff who were eager to help so he also allowed them time to spread word through the city. The whispers and energy of a city on edge became clearer when the soldiers noticed the Lions moving in. Sylvain was more willing to be loud now that they had been discovered and loud sounds of magic could be heard on the other side of town. Kishi raced into the streets to incite a rebellion, giving the people inspiration to fight against the Empire.

Archers gathered to shoot at Xion and Ingrid as they landed in the courtyard. Xion dismounted. She'd had more than enough arrows in her lifetime for her taste and she didn't see other soldiers in her immediate vicinity. She charged with her axe ready.

The archers panicked some and tried to run but their leader just came storming out in an angry huff, making them turn around. They were more scared of Metodey than Xion. Metodey brandished his Venin Sword and grinned.

"Finally, I was getting bored with just these weakling citizens."

"Really? They left _you_ here after Gwendal's fall? The Empire must be getting short staffed," Xion scoffed as she mounted up again before flying at him.

"You!? I knew you were never really one of us. I'll gift your head to the Emperor, traitor!" He ran at her, sliding under the Wyvern to slash at Aster's belly. Xion had Aster roll.

"News flash: You are literally the last person to find out." Ingrid came up behind him. Enraged, he spun, swiping wildly with his sword. Xion attacked with her axe, though she did get nicked in the process.

He was fast. It made sense considering his assassin class, but the others were catching up. Ashe hit him with an arrow, slowing him down so Xion's axe could cleave him nearly in two. He died with a look of shock on his face.

Xion flew up to look for the rest of the class. Everyone was finishing up clearing out the mansion and political center except Kishi. He was helping the rest of the populace fight the soldiers scattered around town.

She went to tear down the Imperial flags flying around the city.

It took most of the morning but by mid-afternoon the city was reclaimed. The citizens of the city were cheering and singing for Dimitri and Kishi, their King and their lord. Kishi was more than a little humbled and excused himself quickly, disappearing into the mansion to check on the staff that he had known his whole life.

Xion waited nearby with the last of the torn flags. Honestly, she was feeling a little queasy.

The housekeeper hugged Kishi and squeezed his hand before leaving him in the hall. He took a deep breath, finally feeling like things were done and for the first time he really felt like he was earning some redemption. Reclaiming the city proved to be a decent step towards helping him feel better. He turned to go outside and saw Xion.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked.

"Metodey has a habit of using venin weapons. I'll go see Mercedes in a bit, I just got scratched and she's helping the citizens who helped in the fight right now. Are you? Okay, I mean?"

Kishi walked up to her. He felt a little too noble wearing his grandfather's shoulder cape and sashes. He gently took her hand and turned her arm so he could look at the cut.

"There's an infirmary down the hall." He gently tugged her along.

Xion let herself be pulled along, though she looked down most of the time. Maybe she could pass off the blush as a fever, but she didn't want to try lying if she could help it.

The infirmary was modest, just one bed, meant for a small noble family. He had her sit down and then went through the cabinets. The cut was small, it would heal alright without magic as long as the toxin was dealt with. He pulled out a mortar and pestle, some little baskets of dried herbs, and loose bandages. There was a basin of water and clean washcloths already out on the counter. He started mixing the antidote right away.

Xion folded her hands in her lap while she waited.

"You didn't answer me earlier. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am," he said quietly. Kishi set the bowl aside and then pulled up a stool to sit in front of her. He took her arm and gently started taking her bracers and gloves off. Xion helped where she could.

"...thank you. I'm glad you're alright."

Kishi set her gear aside and rolled her sleeve back. He gently cleaned the wound with a washcloth and then applied some of the antitoxin salve to the cut. She'd need to drink one to be safe, but this would help with any itching and prevent infection. The soft cloth bandage went on next and then he rolled her sleeve back down.

"There you go."

She rolled the arm before looking up at him. She didn't say anything.

"What?" he asked, a little worried he did something wrong.

"Ah—nothing, sorry." She looked down, red again.

"Just thinking," she admitted. He saw the blush and felt a little sad. His expression didn't change but he stood up and offered her his hand.

"We should get back."

"... yeah, we should." She took the offered hand and stood up.

He let go when she was on her feet and helped her gather her things before walking back to the rest of the group that was getting ready to head back. Kishi deviated briefly to talk to a couple of important looking people that had been freed from the prison. They were weak from their imprisonment but the oldest of them agreed to be a steward of the city pending Kishi's return.

Xion got an antitoxin from Byleth and got ready for the return trip to the monastery.

* * *

7/31 - The Impregnable Fortress

With the Kingdom and Alliance reclaimed for King Dimitri, the assault on Enbarr was resuming. There was one last obstacle between them and the Emperor, Fort Merceus. The massive fort was similar to Arianrhod and would have to be captured in order to get to Enbarr.

Xion was tracing her fingers over the brass while she waited for her orders. She was so used to worn brass. The new one felt almost sharp, and the leather backing was still stiff.

With his noble status reinstated, Kishi was playing more of a planning role. He had his own battalion again and was expected more near the front because of his ability to tank everything as a Great Knight.

Xion was mage guard, assigned to Sylvain today. The red head was exceptionally happy to see her and greeted her warmly but he was notably less flirty and much more genuine.

"Sup. Ready to kick some ass?" Xion asked.

He chuckled, "You know it." Sylvain offered a fist bump. She grinned and bumped his fist.

Felix was standing next to them with an annoyed expression.

"Do you mind acting like adults once in a while?" he grumbled.

"Yes. I mind but I'll behave during the fight, Felix, you know that."

He snorted.

"Come on Felix, don't leave me hanging." Sylvain offered a fist bump to him too. Felix stared at it for a second and then bumped his fist without any change to his expression. Kishi rode up at that moment to catch everyone up.

"It sounds like we're trying to sneak in. Just our class and respective battalions."

Xion looked back at the battalion Vanitas had left behind. Wyvern riders like her that he'd been training since she started at the academy.

"Got it, Kishi."

Sylvain and Felix nodded. Felix didn't have a battalion. They weren't really his thing, but Sylvain had a crew of mages.

"Cool, we're just following the Professor for the most part, so it should be easy I hope," Kishi said. He ran over to Ashe and his own battalion as the company moved out.

Aster followed Sylvain and Xion dropped the playfulness.

As they slipped into the Fort the first thing Kishi noticed was the openness. It was kind of nice. The second thing he noticed was the Death Knight acting as the commander. Finally, it was time. Kishi didn't know why this guy rubbed him so wrong but for some reason he just did. Ever since he escaped the first time, the second time at Remire, and then a third time beneath the monastery, Kishi just wanted to put an end to the man.

For once, the Death Knight didn't have anyone to warp him out, but he still tried to retreat once the Lions started to infiltrate. Kishi wasn't about to waste the opportunity and neither was Atlas. They booked it, mowing down anyone who got in the way. Ashe was trying to cover him and keep up all at once but Kishi was making it hard to follow.

Xion and Sylvain were coming around the other side, blocking his escape route.

Cornered, the Death Knight turned to fight. Atlas bodily slammed into him and Kishi slammed his axe down across the Death Knight’s lap. Magic coursed over Kishi; a retaliation spell that made him retreat a bit. Sylvain ran around to cast Heal and the Death Knight took the opportunity to try and get around Xion to flee.

She threw a short axe in response. It clipped the Knight, slowing him down so Kishi could get back into the fight. Atlas pushed around to cut off the escape and Ashe caught up, finishing the Knight off with a couple of arrows.

Xion landed near the body. Even in the Empire, the Death Knight was a bit of an enigma. The others were catching up and Mercedes looked somewhat downtrodden despite their decisive victory.


	21. Verdant Rain Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> 8/2 - Symbols  
> 8/9 - Turnovers and Frosting  
> 8/16 - Acceptance   
> 8/23 - Dance with me?  
> 8/29 - Eve of Battle  
> 8/30 - Our Chosen Paths  
> 8/31 - Hubert’s Letter

8/2 - Symbols

Xion was making flower crowns again. Kishi saw her in the courtyard when he passed by and considered talking to her, but it was still hard. He kept thinking about what Vanitas had said and had been debating on how to handle it. Was it fair to ask her how she felt? Would it matter? She wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship and he was too busy for one. He ended up standing there staring while his brain worked through some thoughts.

Xion looked up at him after finishing a crown.

"You've been staring awhile. Do I have something on my face?" she asked. He jumped, not even realizing he had been staring.

"N-No. Sorry." He turned to go.

"You don't have to leave."

Embarrassed, he considered running away faster but that wouldn't do so he turned around and stood awkwardly. She patted the ground beside her and started another crown.

"You don't have to say anything," she reassured him. Relieved, he sat down and started making a crown as well. She stayed quiet, for a while, humming bits and pieces of a song a few times.

"Sorry about your friends," he said softly.

"Sorry about your grandfather," she replied, "Good people."

He stayed quiet while he finished the flower crown. Xion had a pile in her lap at this point. She'd been here awhile. Kishi put the one he made on her head.

"I still have the last one you made,” she admitted, “left it to dry on my desk. It was still here when we got back."

"I didn't realize you kept it."

"I don't know why." She knew why she was keeping this one, but she still hadn't figured it out for the last.

"You can probably throw it out. It's old now."

"It's brown but it held together."

"It's not really worth keeping though," Kishi insisted.

"Because I have a new one now?"

"Because it's just a flower crown."

"... maybe." The ones she made… they weren't. They all had names and faces attached to them. Kishi was still trying to keep some distance but he was enjoying her company.

"Oh, I got you something." He dug around in his bag for the little glass bottle of hair dye. She put the chain she was working on aside. She looked like she was about to cry.

"Looks like I'll need to cut my hair short again."

He got up and brushed his pants off, leaving the dye in her hands.

"For what it's worth, I think you look good either way," Kishi told her.

"...thank you, Kishi. It... it really means a lot to me."

"You're welcome." He started walking away again. She watched him go.

* * *

8/9 - Turnovers and Frosting

Xion was working in the kitchen.

"Do you make those little mini apple pies?”

"Is that a request? I'm currently working on cakes, but I don't mind making more things," she said.

"It is," Kishi said. He came fully into the kitchen and stole some icing from one of her cakes with his finger.

"I need two of them."

"You  _ cannot _ do that again," she scolded and scraped off the frosting he touched and started smoothing it back out, "but I'll get on them in a minute. When do you need them done?"

"Whenever, no rush." He pouted a little bit at the scolding and took icing from the bowl instead.

"I was hoping to give one to this girl I really like who works way too hard and then one for me of course."

"...really? Who's that, Annette?" Xion looked down at the cake.

"Maybe working too hard is an exaggeration," he said as he stole a couple strawberries from the basket of clean ones. His hands were pretty dirty, but he didn't feel the least bit guilty for contaminating the whole lot.

"I just feel like I don't get to see her a whole lot. Not as much as I'd like."

"Well if you can't see her right away the turnover will spoil." She was piping flowers onto the edge of the cake. Kishi leaned over her, close enough to hear her soft breathing and stole one of the icing flowers.

"I'm not worried. I can leave it where she will find it. Mmm. Can you put a cute little cream flower or heart on hers?"

"...Sure thing, Kishi." Her chest was feeling tight again. "If you mess up my frosting again, your hand is getting slapped."

"...Do you think strawberries would be a better filling? Girls like berries more than apples right?"

"Entirely depends on the girl. I like cherries best, but Mercedes likes apples," Xion said.

"Do we have fresh cherries?" He went to the pantry and dug around, pulling out a basket of cherries. "Better do cherries then. One cherry pastry with a little cream flower on it for her and then apple for me."

"Can I ask where all this came from all of a sudden?" Xion asked. She didn't remember him talking about liking a girl, but maybe that was getting too close. Also, now she wasn't sure if he was talking about her. He shrugged some and leaned against the counter to reach for the icing again.

"I am officially in charge of my own territory now. I guess it's time to stop waiting and start looking for a girlfriend. Y'know, before I die in battle."

She put her piping bag down and said, "You had better not die, Kishi."

He blinked a little at her seriousness and looked away.

"You make it sound like I'm still trying to."

"Trying to or not, a lot of people would miss you." She didn't want to bury him.

"The goddess ultimately decides our fates, Xion."

"...I know that." The Goddess, or the Universe, or whatever had decided she needed to be here wasn't always kind and this was war.

"Which is why we need to be open and honest and forgiving of each other," Kishi said. He stole more icing from her cake when he said forgiving.

"This cake is for the gatekeeper. It's his birthday today and Byleth asked me to make something." She didn't pick up the piping bag.

"...who is it?"

"Who's what?" he asked, taking advantage of her lack of attention to steal more icing from the bowl.

"Who's the cherry turnover for?"

"Why does it matter?"

"...I guess it doesn't." A part of her wanted to push, but...it really wasn't her place. "You're going to spoil your dinner. Worse, you'll spoil your turnover."

He could tell she was upset.

"Xion," he said a little more softly, "why does it matter?"

"It's not a big deal."

"It is to you. Tell me why." He pushed off the counter and stood behind her, leaving space for her to turn around if she wanted to.

"... maybe I'm a little jealous of whoever it is." That was not technically a lie. She would be but that was a tiny feeling she could get over. She didn't turn. He smiled a little at the back of her head.

"Why would you be jealous of a turnover? You could just make yourself one whenever you wanted."

Now she was embarrassed and red.

"Like I said. Not a big deal."

His voice got even softer as he said, "Xion, if it's important to you then it's important to me but I won't push you if you don't want to talk." He leaned over her to steal another flower from her cake.

"I'll be back in an hour to check on the turnovers. Or do you think it will take longer?"

"Every time you mess up my cake it takes longer."

He stole one more, talking around a mouthful of icing.

"Ok, an hour and a half and make it the best two turnovers you've ever made. I'm hoping to win a date out of this." He walked to the door and tapped the frame lightly with his knuckles.

"Thanks again Xion."

Xion frowned at the door before turning back to her cake.

Kishi came back exactly an hour and a half later. He didn't bother knocking just came right in and leaned against the counter to steal some leftover apple slices.

"They're still in the oven," Xion told him. There weren't any cherries left out.

"About done?"

"Not the cherry one. I'll have to give it half an hour to cool before I can add the flower."

He groaned impatiently.

"You stole three flowers. It's your fault I had to re-frost half a cake."

"Well is mine done?" Kishi asked.

She opened the oven and pulled it out.

"Piping hot." The cherry one came out not long after. It had a flower cut in the upper crust for the cream to fill in. He grinned at them.

"They look great!" He eagerly watched her, waiting for his to get icing. She looked down and smiled to herself.

She gave it ten minutes before adding icing. He would've wiggled if he could. His eyes flicked over to the window briefly, judging the time. He really shouldn't have cost her so much time.

"Damn it, I'm going to be late," he grumbled, "I'm going to need mine to go."

"Go ahead. Where should I take the other?"

He scooped his turnover up, bouncing it around in his hands as he hurried out the door. It was still hot after all.

"Make sure you actually add the cream flower before you eat it," he called over his shoulder.

"Wait—" She was bright red. "Wait you said—you said you were hoping to get a date out of it, why are you telling _ me _ —"

He was already gone. Kishi, Felix, Ashe, and Sylvain were heading out for the next week for long term field training.

Xion fumbled outside for a minute before heading back in to finish the pastry. She was blushing and half confused.

* * *

8/16 - Acceptance

Kishi and the other boys got back late afternoon, filthy and tired but otherwise in good spirits. The survival training had turned into a good-natured campout vacation for them. Something none of them realized they had needed.

In retrospect, Kishi realized he timed his pastry stunt knowing he would get a week to run away from any reaction. He knew Xion loved him, or at least her brother thought so, but she wouldn't say it, even prompted, so he wasn't sure if those feelings had passed for her some time ago or if they were still there. He was somewhat scared of the answer but considering the life they led... He didn't want to die without her knowing that he still loved her. Kishi hadn't stopped loving her for five, nearly six, years. It was what haunted him and caused such agony, knowing she might not love him back was scarier than any battle scenario he could conceive, so he ran and hid in the woods after his first outward admission of love since starting a war for her. The pastry hardly compared to lighting Fodlan on fire, but it seemed the more appropriate expression of affection.

He looked both ways as he snuck into the stables, relieved to find them empty of people. Even the staff had finished their chores and Kishi was able to get Atlas put up fairly quickly. He went into the hay barn to feed the cats.

Xion had spent the week lost in thought. It all seemed impossible. Kishi had been so hesitant about being even friends, always holding her at arm's length and being around her had hurt. It seemed like a sudden turn.

She was working Aster's new shed off when Ashe and Sylvain passed her, stopping for a second. They were in good spirits.

"Hey!" Sylvain greeted, "So? How did it go?"

"How'd what go? Wait, you're back? Do either of you know where Kishi is?" She dropped the wire brush.

"You haven't seen him yet?" Sylvain asked, "well, let him down easy. He was super uptight and nervous the whole time."

"...he was?"

Ashe shook his head some and corrected, "No more than he has been for years."

"You just haven't been paying enough attention, Ashe." Sylvain put on his best mocking Kishi voice, "Oh Sylvain, I love her so much, but she could never love me back." He pretended to swoon expecting Ashe to catch him, but Ashe absolutely let him fall.

"Ignore Sylvain, Kishi is bad at expressing his feelings so just be gentle if you turn him down ok?"

"... Sylvain's kind of hard to ignore," Xion admitted. She wouldn't be... turning him down, so much as making sure he knew what he was getting into. Sylvain managed to pull himself back up somewhat winded and dazed. Ashe helped drag him off.

Xion picked up the brush again and finished Aster's shed before heading to the dining hall.

Kishi was grabbing some food from the kitchen quickly to take back to his barn when he came around the corner and narrowly avoided running into Xion. He had half a loaf of bread in his mouth and a few apples in his hands.

"So...we need to talk. Preferably in private. I'm not turning you down, but there still needs to be a talk," she said when she realized it was him.

His anxiety skyrocketed. He just stood there blinking at her in stunned and somewhat panicked silence. 

_ Fuck. She didn't like the pastry move. Damn Sylvain that was his idea. Oh, goddess strike me down now, I can't deal with this, _ he thought. If Vanitas had  _ lied _ about Xion...

"...can we go somewhere else?" she asked. He looked like he was about to cry but he nodded.

"I'm not saying no. There's just...a few things that need to be asked before I say yes."

Oh man... There was that glimmer of hope. He nodded. The bread still in his mouth and his arms still full of fruit. Xion took half the apples so she could take his hand.

"Does my room work?"

He made a strangled little peeping sound and took the bread out of his mouth, putting it in his arm with the apples he still had.

"Y-Yeah." Xion quietly lead him to her room.

"Where do you want to sit?" she asked when they got there. He looked around, trying to find a spot that allowed for an easy escape if he couldn't handle what she had to say. He ended up standing awkwardly. Xion moved to sit on the bed.

"I didn't think that this could happen now. I thought—I thought I'd missed my chance with you five years ago."

"I thought you hated me after what I said to you," he said with shame at the memory.

"I didn't like you very much. I was angry and hurt, but that didn't last. In the last year, it's practically vanished."

"Xion, we are good friends. We can stay that way if you want."

"I do love you and I do want to be with you, but what if I can't change what was done to me? Is four years enough for you?"

He slumped to the ground, resting on his knees while he held back sobs of relief. That psychopath wasn't lying! Kishi buried his face in his hands while shook, just so overwhelmed to hear her say she loved him too. He spent five years trying to forget about her. Almost the entire last year avoiding her to protect himself, believing wholeheartedly that he was going to kill himself after the war as penance. To hear her say these things...

He took a deep breath to relax and looked up at her with watery eyes, managing to squeeze out, "haven't we wasted enough time?"

She slid off the bed and sat beside him. It all still seemed like a fever dream. So far away and impossible, like staring out at the ocean for the first time in Derdriu. Her chest felt tight, like it was going to burst open. Heart hammering, but she was completely still. Holding her breath, even.

"Can you hold me?"

He didn't waste a single second more. Kishi looped his arms around her and pulled her against his chest as he fell backwards to sit on his rump and not his knees. It was more a tight, sitting down hug from behind but he didn't care. He curled around her protectively, still sobbing some.

"There's no need for tears now," she assured him. Xion covered his arms with hers. She was shaking—relief, joy, so many things were going on it was hard to get a good grasp on exactly how she felt. A few tears rolled down her own cheeks.

"I'm sorry it took me so long," he said to the back of her head, followed by a gentle kiss.

"We have time to make up for that." She pulled his arms just loose enough to turn and face him, placing her face in his shoulder. Kishi’s heart was racing. He pulled her legs to the side so she could sit sideways in his lap.

"Are you happy?" he asked her.

"Yes." She hadn't been this happy in a very, very long time.

"Do you mind telling your brother that?" he was only half joking.

"...sure? I tell him almost everything." It seemed like a weird question to her. He took a deep breath and let it out with relief. He would probably survive a little longer.

"Are you ok with dating a noble?"

"Are the other nobles going to be okay with your commoner girlfriend?"

"Let them talk," his grip on her tightened some as he asked her, "...are you ok dating a traitor?”

"Only if it's you."

He gently grabbed her chin and tilted her head back so he could look at her.

"Do you think this was the goddess's plan from the beginning?'

She held his gaze, eyes still wet.

"I don't claim to know what she planned but something kept pushing us together."

He couldn't wait anymore. He kissed her gently. It wasn't a strong, passionate kiss but it was full and long, and it felt right, like she fit in this moment. Kishi was the one who broke it, pulling away for a breath.

"I need to go soon," he mumbled, still distracted by her. She was warm and soft and just beautiful.

"Go where?" She wrapped her arms around him.

"I still need to eat," he mumbled, as he leaned in to kiss her cheek. His actions were still a little timid, nervous even, like he wasn’t sure what they were doing was ok.

"And feed the horses a-and respond to the letter from my steward," he kept mumbling.

"Can I have dinner with you?"

"Absolutely. I'll make sure you get anything you want, for as long as you'll let me."

"... it's the dining hall. I'll eat whatever they're serving."

He laughed a little, "That's not what I meant. Sorry, it's hard to find the right words right now." He let go of her so she could get up. She wiped her face and smiled at him before getting up.

"Words have never been my strong point, either."

He got up and stood in front of her. One hand came up to gently cradle her face while he stole another kiss.

"Whatever time you have," he promised, "I'll do my best to make it worthwhile."

She was crying again and hugged him. He hugged her close and kissed the top of her head before taking her hand and opening the door of her room to go get food.

"I hope you don't mind but I'm a package deal. I come with three cats and a horse."

"I come with a wyvern and family visits."

"Even Vanitas?" He wrinkled his nose.

"Not very often but yes."

"Alright, I think I'm ok with that."

Kishi led her to the dining hall to eat where they were promptly swarmed by the boys hooting and hollering and being rowdy until Kishi physically tossed them from the dining hall to eat in peace with his girlfriend. Xion laughed a little at the sight, then groaned at realizing Annette and Mercedes were absolutely going to interrogate her later.

"Actually... Do you want to go get dinner in town? Away from the monastery crazies?" he asked.

"Sounds great but I don't have money."

"I do now," he said. He took her hand and pulled her along. Xion was happy to run along with him.

* * *

8/23 - Dance With Me?

Kishi came up behind Xion and wrapped his arms around her, leaning down to put his chin on her shoulder.

"Hello, Kishi." She smiled and placed a hand over his.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" he asked.

"Seeing you?"

"That's a good answer," he complimented and kissed her cheek, "there's a dance in the village tonight."

"I still don't know how to dance."

"You can stand on my feet again," he offered, swaying a little bit and pulling her along playfully, "that way I can hold you close enough to keep Sylvain from stealing you."

"Hm. I think it's going to be hard for him to pull me away." She turned her head to return his cheek kiss. He turned his head to catch her lips, not even caring that people could see them. She just smiled.

"A dance sounds great, Kishi."

"Good, I'll meet you by the gate in an hour." He let go of her to go finish up some chores. She snuck one more kiss before he went.

There was an extra spring in his step as he finished caring for Atlas and the barn cats. As they didn't know how much time Xion had left they had agreed to count the past few years as part of their dating and move a little faster than most couples. Kishi moved into her room a bit and started sleeping beside her, alternating who got to be the big spoon. They still hadn't been intimate having agreed that was the one thing they could take slow.

By now the whole monastery knew they were dating with most people alternating between confusion ("They weren't already dating?") or relief ("About damn time!"). Sylvain was exceptionally supportive though he continued to flirt a bit, insisting it was an old habit and he was trying to stop. Ingrid was also supportive. Kishi had worried that she would be upset about it, but she was really happy for them and told Xion as much whenever they were on sky patrol together.

He allowed himself some time to clean up, so he didn't smell so strongly of horse and put on his cleanest uniform. He checked himself in the reflection of the pond and then thought of something last minute. Kishi ducked inside the greenhouse.

Xion put on her formal uniform. It was the closest thing to nice clothes she had. Mercedes tried to get her into makeup and succeeded in getting a little on her before Xion ran to Ingrid. She was ten minutes early to the gates.

It took Dedue's help but Kishi managed to put together some flowers for Xion. He knew they were going to a dance and holding flowers that long would be annoying, so he made the bouquet into a flower crown. He was very careful to pick flowers they typically didn't use for their tributes to those who passed on hoping this crown could be more of a reflection of life than death. He saw her a ways off by the gate and jogged to catch up.

She turned when she heard him walking up and grinned.

"You look good," he said with a soft smile as he approached. This past week had brought so much more life to him. He had stopped cutting, was resting properly now, and eating better. The sparkle in his eyes was back and he didn't look so tired and rundown all the time. He was still haunted by his past mistakes, but the healing was evident. He put the flower crown on her head.

"So do you." She blushed a little.

"Not that it's hard for you," she complimented.

Now he was blushing. He scratched the back of his head and looked away shyly.

"W-We should get going."

Xion took his hand and threaded their fingers together. He lifted her hand to his lips to kiss them softly. Then he playfully started pulling her along, almost running.

"Come on!"

She chased after him.

The dance was lively and full of people. A lot of soldiers from the monastery had come down to participate even though it was really meant for the townsfolk. With the end of the war potentially in sight, the village town wanted to do something to celebrate, a last hurrah for those who might lose their lives in the upcoming battle.

There was a ton of food, lively music, and the square was completely full of happy people. Kishi wasn't personally a fan of crowds but the energy was nice and as the sun touched the horizon it was nice to be in a place so bright and happy.

Xion liked the outdoor aspect. Unlike the ball, the dances were livelier and less coordinated. Xion was happy to be close to him, either way. At one point she thought she saw Dimitri and Byleth together and Sylvain slipping between partners, but she mostly kept her eyes on Kishi.

Kishi was in a similar boat. It didn't matter where they were or who was around or what song was playing, he only had eyes for her. He liked this dance better than the last time all those years ago. He could hold her close without feeling awkward. They were both stronger now too. Kishi was able to hold her up on his feet so they moved gracefully together from one song to the next.

Xion let herself be pulled along. As the evening wore on the songs got slower before stopping altogether.

Slow songs were the easiest to dance to. Mostly just soft swaying and as more and more people left and the night got colder, Kishi found himself grateful for her warmth though he could tell he was getting tired.

"Do you want to head back?" she asked.

"Mm? I'm good," he said sleepily.

"Do you want to get back and help me warm up a bit?"

He rubbed her back gently before letting her go.

"Alright."

She held onto his hand even then.

"You know what, Kishi? This week has been the best I've had since... actually, it's the best I can remember."

Kishis eyes widened a little in surprise and then his expression softened.

"I'm honored that you feel that way. I love you a lot Xion."

"I love you too, Kishi. So much."

"Come on, let's get me to bed." He thought of saying get her to bed but with her insomnia that didn't make a ton of sense.

"Of course." It was less pulling along now and more strolling side by side. He was tired but enjoying being with her, so he deliberately dragged his feet as they walked.

"I don't think I'm going to make it," he groaned overdramatically.

"I'll just have to carry you. What a shame." ... _ could _ she?

He made a groaning sound and swooned, dropping to the ground.

"You must."

"You could have just asked. Now your uniform's all dirty." She crouched beside him before helping him up onto her back. That was the easiest way to carry people. He wasn't expecting it and scrambled a little to hold on, wrapping his arms around her shoulders.

She groaned a bit standing up but once she was up, she was able to get going.

"You're already doing great at the warming thing."

"I will be very impressed if you can get me up the hill," Kishi mumbled.

"Is that a challenge?"

"Absolutely."

"What do I get if I make it?"

"What do you want?"

"Hm. A kiss. No, two kisses. No— _three_ kisses!"

"Three kisses it is." He kissed her ear to distract her some. She giggled but didn't slow down.

"It's a deal."

Kishi was very tired. It was kind of nice not having to be the big strong guy. Having a strong girlfriend made them feel more like equals. He buried his face in the crook of her neck and closed his eyes, falling asleep. Xion could tell when his grip loosened. __

_ I had better still get my kisses, _ she thought. Eventually, she did get to the monastery and her room, though she was huffing and puffing by then. She only woke him up so he could get changed.

He was too sleepy to care that she was in the room and trusted her not to look if she was uncomfortable. He pulled on a shirt and shorts and flopped onto her bed with a happy groan.

Xion waited until he was facedown to change herself before climbing in behind him and wrapping him in a bear hug.

He made happy little moaning sounds and rolled some so he could pull the big, fluffy fur comforter over them. It was something from his old room that he brought to hers when they started dating. Everyone from the Kingdom had at least one.

She kissed the back of his neck.

"Good night, love. Sleep well."

"Try not to stay up too late," he told her with a slur in his voice. He fell asleep not long after that.

Xion did sleep, albeit not nodding off until a couple hours before dawn.

* * *

8/29 - Eve of Battle

Xion was looking out from the camp towards Enbarr. Home. She had mixed feelings about the coming fight, about Dorothea and Petra, and possibly seeing the bakery again. She had provided Byleth and Dimitri with information on the city's layout and shortcuts they could take.

Kishi finished up polishing his and Atlas' armor and was helping Ashe out with a frayed strap on a saddle. The rest of the camp was making similar preparations. The past several days had been spent travelling and setting up outside of the Imperial capital. The Kingdom army was settled in and ready to put an end to the war.

With the strap fixed, Ashe left the makeshift quartermaster tent, leaving Kishi to finish up the clean-up. Eventually the silver haired man stepped outside the tent, wiping his hands off with the cloth. Despite his best efforts, they were still smudged with polish and oil.

Xion turned when she heard the tent flap move again. She hadn't been far, deciding to wait for Kishi once Byleth was done with her.

"Hey," she greeted. He smiled warmly at her.

"Finish up with the briefing?"

"Yeah, about half an hour ago. All the tack's ready to go?" She stood up and walked over.

"Have I ever not had it so?" he teased.

"Nope. Always impeccable." She smiled and reached for his hand. He held them both up to show how gross they were.

"I probably should wash up first," his voice got a little softer, "hey... Are you going to be ok?"

"...I dunno. I...I never let myself be friends with them, but I know them like they are and...if we stop now, what were all those other deaths for?"

Kishi studied her face with an expression of sympathetic pain.

"Stay at the camp."

"What good does that do? I'm more useful on the battlefield and I know Enbarr better than anyone here."

"It protects you."

"I can protect more people if I go."

Arguing with her was pointless. He turned his attention back to wiping his hands clean, but he did so with a more worried expression.

"What if we lose tomorrow?" she asked quietly. He took a deep breath. It wasn't something he had allowed himself to consider.

"I guess it depends."

"I don't think we will. Byleth's strategy can't be beat."

"Why did you ask me then?" Kishi asked.

"Because I'm still worried."

"Xion, I don't think the Goddess would let us get this far if we were meant to lose." Kishi threw the rag over his shoulder and stepped up to her, putting his hands on her waist to pull her in close.

"Thinking about what might be... it's just going to make it hard to focus on the now," he said.

She looped her arms behind his neck.

"What if we win, then? How will you celebrate?"

"You think we'll have time to celebrate?"

"I'm talking about after we defeat Edelgard."

He kissed her cheek and asked, "and I repeat, you think we'll have time to celebrate?"

"There will be time eventually."

"Maybe after we shut down the people who hurt you and Fodlan settles down again."

"Still. How do we celebrate?"

"You sound like you know what you want," he observed, kissing her cheek again and trailing little kisses down her jaw.

"Do I? Maybe I just want to hear your plans before I go making mine." She softly blushed.

"No way," he mumbled, "that's what I was doing!"

"I think... I'm going to kiss you first. Maybe a couple times."

One of his hands moved up to cradle her face, holding her still while he kissed and nuzzled her cheek and neck.

"Hm, we have to wait until we win for that?"

"No...but it's the first thing I'll want to do."

"Mm, don't tell anyone Xion, but I think I'm in love with you."

"If you can keep a secret, I think I love you back. Sylvain will be so disappointed."

He gently rubbed her cheek with his thumb and kissed her once more before pulling back. "Heartbroken. Poor Sylvain," Kishi confirmed. She was getting very dirty at this point.

"He'll have to get over it. I'm already taken by you."

"I never thought I'd get to be the luckiest man in the world," he said gently. He booped her nose, leaving an oily smudge, and stepped back to get back to work.

"Do you want me to double check Aster's tack?"

"No, I probably need a bath now… Will you meet me at the tent when you're done?"

"Of course," he assured her. She stood on her toes to give him another kiss.

"Then I'll be waiting."

He watched her go before turning back to his equipment. Kishi still took good care of his tools, even if they were no longer his primary purpose anymore.

"I'm surprised you didn't cave," Sylvain teased. He had been in the tent eavesdropping and polishing his own gear.

"We have to both survive tomorrow first," he said a little more seriously. Sylvain flashed him a grin.

"Did you finish making it?"

Kishi pulled a ring out of his pocket in response. It was incredibly simple, just a gold band with a modest sapphire stone set into it and flanked by two diamonds. He was good with his hands but fine things like jewelry were still hard. The red head whistled and tried to hand it back but Kishi shook his head.

"Hang onto it. I don't want to risk her finding it until I'm sure we're both ready," Kishi said gently. 

"You got it."

Xion took her bath, oblivious to her boyfriend's scheme. She was still pretty uneasy but feeling better than earlier when she got to their tent. She didn't want to go looking for her pajamas, so she just grabbed one of Kishi's undershirts and wore it like a nightgown.

After convincing Felix to swap patrol shifts, Kishi headed back to their tent and let himself in, closing the flap behind him. Xion sat up in the cot.

"Everything ready?" she asked.

"Yeah, no doubt we will be moving out early." He took off most of his armor but left on his greaves and bracers. Kishi was still taking a shift tonight so he couldn't get super comfortable.

"Are you on second patrol or third?"

"Third." He scooped her up to make room for himself, settling down on the small cot with her cuddled up on top of him.

"So you've got a few hours."

"A few hours that I should spend sleeping." He rubbed her back with one hand, the other behind his head to prop himself up some.

"I won't distract you  _ too _ much, then." She slid down his chest a bit, resting her head over his heart. He played with her hair, massaging her scalp in long, gentle strokes from her temple to her neck. They were rocking a similar hair style now and for a bit he entertained the idea of growing his own hair out long again.

Xion remained mostly still. Her attention was mostly on his hands, though listening to his heartbeat was a little distracting. She knew he needed the sleep and didn't want to keep him up.

His strokes got a little slower along with his heartbeat and breathing as he fell asleep. Xion ended up falling asleep half an hour before he needed to wake up.

* * *

8/30 - Our Chosen Paths

Kishi and Atlas stood up near Dimitri and Byleth, getting the last of their orders. Dimitri's change in personality was... unnerving to say the least. The King was remarkably calm, even after the face to face meeting with Edelgard a month prior.

Kishi nodded politely as his instructions were concluded and turned to head towards the West part of the city. That left flank was swarming with ballistae. With his heavy armor, it was only fitting he ran them down as he was best equipped to handle the arrows.

Xion was placed closer to the center of the city. Aster was anxious to get started, but Xion wasn't so excited. Some of the bad feelings from yesterday were still hanging around.

With the army divided it was hard to tell who moved first. Kishi just knew he was being attacked and responded accordingly. He surged forward down the narrow alleys with Sylvain on his tail.

The first ballista went down without trouble and it became easier for Kishi to just zone out and focus on fighting. He and Sylvain were also offering each soldier the chance to surrender per Dimitri's orders. Any soldier that surrendered wasn't to be harmed.

As the last of the archers were immobilized, a demonic beast landed on the roof above Kishi, Sylvain, and Ashe, roaring at them and demanding their attention. All three of them took the time to bring it down together.

With the monster killed and floating down the canal, Kishi split off from the others to head up north, clearing out the enemies there while the others raced across the bridge to back up the others.

Xion had come to accept the fact that archers would always bother her, but at least this time Byleth was doing a good job of keeping them away from her and Ingrid with careful strategy.

She wasn't focusing on faces much until she heard Dorothea's voice. She wasn't going after her, but Xion knew her former friend wouldn't give up the fight. It didn't take long before Xion stopped hearing her.

A flying demonic beast descended on the ground crew, beating its wings rapidly as it hovered about Dimitri and Xion, the latter of which flew around the beast to remove its barriers from the other side.

Felix went under, helping her catch the monster off guard and ultimately kill it.

The two halves of the army were starting to meet up finally as reinforcements arrived. Kishi was the only one late to catching up but fortunately, the new arrivals, led by Petra hadn't noticed his compromised position.

By the time Kishi caught up the reinforcements had been dealt with, a testament to the army’s strength and how far Kishi had to travel. He grimaced a little as he passed the carnage. Petra hadn't surrendered.

The gates to the palace were up ahead and just inside them waited Hubert, the Empress’s right hand.

Kishi wasn't to engage, which were orders he was having trouble obeying especially as Xion was acting as backup for Ingrid as they pushed in to attack.

Hubert scowled at Xion.

"I wondered when you'd have the nerve to return here. It's too late to beg Lady Edelgard's forgiveness."

Xion threw an axe, growling, "I don't need forgiveness. Just closure."

He dodged it and cast a wave of black magic her way.

"No greater closure than death."

Xion took the hit as Ingrid swooped in with Luín, her hero’s relic. Hubert went down laughing, a throaty chuckle that was reminiscent of wheezing.

Xion landed a little ways away and stumbled in her dismount. Kishi couldn't hold himself back anymore. He pushed Atlas towards her and jumped off his horse to run to her side.

"You ok?" he asked her softly. She was breathing hard.

"Just...just tired..." She probably needed healing before they went to the Imperial Palace. He put a hand on her back and held one of her hands with the other before looking around for someone who could help. Mercedes was already riding over. Xion sank to her knees but held tightly to his hand.

"... war's almost over." Kishi helped lower her to the ground, resting on his knees beside her while Mercedes dismounted, casting Mend on her.

"Yeah it is," he told her gently, "You ready to come help end it?" She was feeling a lot better after the white magic set in.

"Yeah. I'm ready."

He rubbed her back, still a little worried. They were all feeling some fatigue but all that was left was the palace, it was time to end this. Kishi stood up and helped her to her feet before mounting up again to regroup with Dimitri and the Professor as they started moving up the stairs to the palace.

Xion mounted up again and flew beside Ingrid. She'd stayed at the palace a few times but was not as familiar with it as with the city below. She knew how to enter through the back gate from delivering cakes for some of the parties, but everyone was going through the main gate.

Edelgard had filled her throne hall with the best of her soldiers, the worst of her monsters, and some of her allies: the mages with the black robes. The Empress herself was behind closed doors but it was evident that she was here based on the entourage she had surrounded herself with. They would have to move carefully.

Xion was a little uneasy. Flying indoors was always tricky and this would probably be the hardest fight thus far. She was going down the middle.

Kishi was hesitant to leave her side but he was being sent closer to the left to deal with a couple assassins. As they started to advance, magic attacks started to come seemingly from nowhere, focused primarily on Dimitri.

Xion kept most of the other soldiers off Dimitri while Byleth handled mages.

This was probably the first time that Kishi could remember where all of them were fighting the same front. He took a second to look over their crew.

Here at the end. all of them had made it. Even Seteth and Flayn, who he almost never interacted with were doing their part. Gilbert was defending Ashe who was covering Dedue from afar. Annette was defending Ingrid who was covering for Felix. Mercedes and Sylvain were on top of healing.

He could remember the first time Xion was handed an axe and now here she was, an expert Wyvern Lord, and at the head of them all, Dimitri and the Professor; their King and their teacher. It was surreal and beautiful, and it was almost over and gratefully so.

He turned his attention back to fighting as Dedue ripped through the door blocking Edelgard from their advances. The class advanced on... something. It wasn't Edelgard anymore. Aster was hesitant to move into the throne room at all. In fact, all the animals resisted to some degree. Even Atlas, a seasoned war horse wanted to nope out of there. Kishi had to push the animal into the throne room.

They all fanned out to clean out the room while the Professor and Dimitri advanced on Edelgard.

There weren't many people in the room. A couple of white mages. They were taken care of quickly and the class began ascending the stairs behind their king and teacher.

Kishi dismounted and hung back. He felt a little out of place. Edelgard had personally spurred him but he didn't have the same history with her that Dimitri had so he hung back to let them handle it. The rest of the class didn't end up doing much against Edelgard herself, despite her new monstrous appearance.

Kishi didn't really want to watch. When it was clear the Empress was beaten, Kishi led his horse out of the room to wait with most of the class. Dimitri and the Professor stayed behind to handle the end.

Xion went all the way back to the steps and sat outside. Kishi joined her when he saw her walk by. He sat next to her and rested his arms on his knees.

"...it doesn't feel different. I don't think it's hit yet," Xion admitted quietly.

"I’m not sure it ever will. Whether that's because daily life feels like a battle or because we are so used to war _ as _ our daily life... It's hard to tell."

"My life hasn't been normal in eleven years. I'm not sure if I can adjust to not looking over my shoulder all the time."

"Then trust me to watch your back," Kishi assured her and she grinned tiredly.

"But if you're always behind me I'll need to turn to see you."

"I can look over your shoulder." He leaned over to kiss her. She kissed him back. The war may have been over, but the fighting wasn't. Not for them, and she'd steal all the kisses and little moments she could until then.

He pulled away, to say, "Listen, Xion... This isn't really how I pictured it, but I do have a plan for us now that the war is over." Kishi patted his pocket and then remembered...he didn't have the ring... Sylvain did.

"Uh..."

She gave him a quizzical look as he trailed off. He blushed deeply and turned back towards the city, both his hands on his knees. He was embarrassed that he started something without being able to finish it.

"Um... We should visit your family," he fumbled.

"...we can't get to Fraldarius overnight...and..." She stopped. The whole reason she hadn't visited, or even let them know she was still alive, was to keep the Agarthians, the vicious mages that experimented on her, from finding them. It had only been Vanitas for so long.

"It might be a surprise, seeing me." Then she stood up and offered him her hand and an alternative.

"But we can go to the bakery. You can see where I grew up."

He took it gratefully.

"I would be honored."

Xion pulled him up and led him down the steps into the city.

It was bizarre walking through the streets. The city was still damaged where the fighting had been. The dead were being cleaned up and those who had surrendered were being held in groups by the Kingdom army. The war may have been over but there was still a lot to do and word needed to get around. He squeezed her hand as they walked and she squeezed back.

The route she took had them following side streets away from the battlefield. It was only a few blocks, in the shadows of the Palace in the evening. She stopped in front of a small, boarded up two story building. Faded paint above the door just read 'Baker's', with a loaf of bread painted next to it.

He looked it over for a second before moving to the door to pull the boards off. Xion was pulling boards off the windows while he cleared the door. Kishi let himself inside when he was able and she followed him after there was some light coming in.

Everything was covered in white sheets that were in turn covered in dust. Xion sneezed a few times pulling them off, revealing a display case and a few pieces of furniture.

"Is it wrong that I'm disappointed there aren't any pastries to buy?" he asked.

"There wouldn't be at this time of day anyway. Everyone buys their bread before lunch, we'd be prepping tomorrow's batch right now."

Everything was polished by wear. You could tell where people walked, where they stood, where hands brushed the counters for centuries. The bakery had been here a long, long time. Xion lifted a piece of counter to move behind the case. There was an indent in the wood shaped by all her family lifting it in the same spot for years. She reached for Kishi's hand again and he took it reverently. He felt like an intruder in a special place.

She led him through a swinging door behind the display case into the home itself. The hall was musty and dark, picture frames lined the walls too dusty to see through.

Xion continued to the back, where a staircase was flanked by a door on either side. She turned into one of the doors, hinges squeaking from lack of care. Inside were more sheets, pulled away to reveal couches, a fireplace and tables.

It was humbling to see how commoners lived. He couldn't imagine a large family living here. He just stood and stared with a concerned look.

She kneeled by the fireplace a moment, disappointed to find no firewood but she pulled open a drawer to remove a candle, lighting it and casting shadows around the room. The living room showed the same wear and age as the rest of the house.

"Xion, this is so small..."

"Not all of the world can live in a fancy estate. Maybe it was small, but it was cozy."

"Five kids in here? ...Xion, move your family to Arianrhod," he insisted.

"I don't think they'd go, if they had a chance to come back here. The Bakers have lived in this house since before the founding of the Empire. When Enbarr was still just a village."

He could understand the value of tradition, but it still made him feel bad.

"What if I had the entire bakery moved?"

She laughed, "That's a long way to move an entire building. Best keep it here."

He was serious.

"If it means you and your family could be close to me, yes."

"They've been uprooted for seven years now. I think they just want to go home, Kishi. I know that I'll be able to visit, once they're safe. You don't have to move my family to make me happy."

Kishi knew he'd lose the argument, so he stayed quiet and looked away, busying himself by looking around.

There were other pictures in this room. Mostly of Ventus, Vanitas and her father, but a precious few also showed a woman who looked an awful lot like Xion, if a little older.

Who was he to judge? They were clearly happy. Happy and present which was more than Kishi could say for his parents. He went over to Xion and squeezed her hand briefly.

"I'll wait for you outside."

"You don't have to go. We can spend the night here, if you want."

"Is that what you want?" he asked gently.

"You don't have to, but it's probably better than the cot in our tent."

"Xion, what do you want?"

"To make you happy."

Now he laughed, "Then we're at a stalemate."

"Well then. I think I would like to sleep at home, and I enjoy sleeping with you."

"Ok. Then we will stay the night here." He turned to leave.

"Going to tell the Professor?"

"Getting firewood." He waved over his shoulder as he went downstairs.

Kishi was gone for a while. He had run back to the army to be sure Aster and Atlas would be cared for and then found firewood for sale. The stall was unattended, but he left money anyway. He came back with a couple little dinners as well. He set them gently on the table before starting the fire in the fireplace.

Xion was making the beds. It had been a while since they'd been used but the sheets had protected the beds from dust. She crossed back not long after he got there and hugged him from behind.

"You got me," he said gently. Their armor clinked together as he rocked a little bit.

"You're a good catch." She stood on her toes to kiss the back of his neck. He put his hands over hers.

"Can you keep a secret?" Xion asked.

"I bet we have the same secret."

"Hm...mine is that your eyes remind me of the sky just past dawn and I'll never feel trapped again as long as I can look at them."

He was glad she couldn't see him getting a little choked up.

"Ok we don't have the same secret."

"What's yours, then?"

"I was going to say I love you," Kishi admitted.

"I love you too but that's not a secret."

He turned around in her arms to hug her tightly, picking her up. She let out a peep before smiling.

"I hope everyone knows."

"I'm going to shout it from the mountain tops until the whole world knows!" Xion called to the empty room. He gently tipped her head back with a finger under her chin and kissed her around her grin.

"War's over, you got what you wanted, so now what?" he asked her gently.

"Now we see where life goes." She didn't want to think about the coming fight right now. "And we don't have to steal kisses."

"You can have them whenever you want them," he promised.

"And hugs and just being with you."

"Tomorrow we'll regroup with everyone and figure out where they need us. The war is over, but I think they will need us to help pave the way for the new Kingdom."

"Tonight's just us, though." She kissed him again and he let his hands wander a little bit while they kissed. His armor felt a little too hot, a little too heavy. He grimaced when he realized he hadn't grabbed their sleeping wear.

She pulled away to ask, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine. I just realized I forgot to get our pajamas."

"...well... do you think we're ready to see each other like that?"

Kishi chuckled, "That's all up to you but I won't ever put that pressure on you. I can go find us something to wear."

"I don't know if I'm ready to go farther than that. "

He rubbed her arm.

"That's ok," he said softly, "I'll go find us something." He pulled away to leave.

"No—wait, that was poor word choice. I'm not ready beyond getting naked."

He stopped at the top of the stairs.

"Xion, it's ok if you want me to go get clothes."

She shook her head, insisting, "It's okay."

His brow furrowed with worry. He didn't want her to be uncomfortable for him. Kishi was a guy who was more than comfortable going al natural, but he knew Xion was more sensitive to that and he didn't want things to get caught in the awkward middle ground. He went over to her and kissed her forehead.

"It's no trouble. I'll go get some so we have the option."

"... alright. Maybe we should eat first? Before dinner gets too cold?"

"You eat. I'll be back."

She pouted but relented. He kissed her once more and then left.

Xion moved his food next to the fire so it could stay somewhat warm before shedding her armor and eating.

It took him a while to get back and by the time he did it was late and dark. He let himself into the house quietly and crept up the creaking stairs.

Xion was zoning out by the fireplace when he found her. Kishi covered her with the heavy fur blanket he had brought and ducked into a side bedroom to change out of his equipment but Xion stumbled up and after him.

"This blanket's probably too heavy."

He blinked a little in surprise when she walked in on him shirtless.

"It gets cold at night," he said.

"It's Enbarr. Cold for us is pretty warm for you." She blinked a few moments before turning red.

He saw her blush and shamefully put his shirt back on, rubbing his arms a little self-consciously. There weren't any new scars since they started dating but the old ones still itched. She took a few steps forward and hugged him.

"Don't be scared. You don't have to be afraid," Xion reassured him.

"I don't want to make you uncomfortable."

"Uncomfortable isn't the word I'd use..." She was still pretty red.

"Um, let me change first, then I'll give you the room."

They took turns and got changed quickly, still awkward teenagers at heart.

"Thank you for sharing your home with me," he said gently as he put an arm around her when they met again in front of the fire.

"There's no one else I'd want to share it with." She rested her head on his shoulder and he leaned into her, already falling asleep after a busy day.

"Should I carry you to bed, love?"

"Mm? No, this is nice."

She adjusted him until his head was in her lap.

"Go ahead and sleep."

He blushed a little bit but nodded and closed his eyes to sleep. Xion played with his hair long into the night before falling asleep herself.

* * *

8/31 - Hubert’s Letter

Xion and Kishi had headed back to the palace that morning. She stayed close to him as they walked.

Dimitri and the Professor were working with the remaining Nobles of the Empire to get things squared away and officially found the New Fodlan with Dimitri as its King. Rhea was also present having just been rescued from the palace dungeon.

When Kishi and Xion arrived, the Professor got up and pulled them aside to show Xion a letter they had been given pending Hubert and Edelgard's death.

Xion frowned and took the letter. She'd never been friends with Hubert. Never talked with him about anything other than strategy and orders. She broke the seal hesitantly.

_ Xion Baker _

_ If you are reading this then the Empire has lost. No doubt you took part in the final battle. I am hoping this letter need not be delivered, but I must prepare for every possibility. _

_ You are a victim of the same group as Edelgard. I will not go into details you surely already know. We loathed having to work with them, but Edelgard will do anything to make her goals reality. The plan was always to turn on them after we won. But if you have received this, we did not. _

_ I leave this letter to you as opposed to Dimitri or the Professor because you have a personal stake in bringing this group down. The name we have given this group is Those Who Slither in the Dark. Contained in the following pages is all of the information we have managed to gather on them, including the location of their city. _

_ Hubert von Vestra _

Xion handed the first page to Kishi when she finished reading. He took it and read it, immediately feeling a sense of dread.

_ This soon? _ He thought for sure they'd have been able to take their time in dealing with Xion's personal demons.

Xion was rifling through the other pages as she said, "I don't think just the two of us will be enough..."

She was right. He took a deep breath and took the letter over to the professor. Byleth scanned the paper twice before looking up.

"Is this the group responsible for the child experimentation?" she asked. Xion nodded in confirmation and scratched her arm.

"You should tell Dimitri and the rest of the class about this."

Kishi nodded politely and then went to talk to Dimitri. Xion followed him quietly. The idea of telling their whole class...was intimidating, to say the least. She could count on one hand the number of people who knew her past. That number was about to grow exponentially.

After conferring with the King, Kishi turned to her.

"Xion, you don't have to be a part of this if it's going to be too hard."

"I have to. It's... it's not something I can just leave to others. I'm just... nervous."

"You also don't have to tell everyone,” Kishi assured her, “we can ask the Professor and the King to keep your involvement a secret."

"They'll start asking questions when I have more information."

"Then let the Professor answer their questions."

"... okay. Alright."

He turned to her.

"Listen, I don't want to make you do anything uncomfortable... If you need me to fend the others off, I will."

"...I just need you to be there if I can't handle it."

"Anything, Xion. We're going to put these bastards into the ground," he promised.

"I just want to make sure they can't hurt anyone ever again." She stepped up to him and buried her face in his chest. He cradled her head and kissed her hair.

"I'm glad to have your and everyone's help. I'm just... nervous," Xion admitted.

"You're allowed to be. Don't worry, we've got you."

"...thank you, Kishi."

"Come on. Let's get back to the monastery to prepare."

She nodded and said, "Yeah. Let's go home."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay! This marks the end of the Azure Moon path from the game, Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Additional chapters will now follow the end of the Verdant Wind path. Spoilers ahead! Be warned!


	22. Horsebow Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> 9/6 - From the Mountaintops  
> 9/13 - Overprotective  
> 9/20 - What does this mean?  
> 9/27 - The City Without Light  
> 9/30 - Excavating

9/6 - From the Mountaintops

Kishi had spent the better part of the day in the kitchen with Dedue and Mercedes. Ashe was hanging around too and it was turning into a cooking party.

Xion made her way to the kitchen in the afternoon. She was still...a tiny bit uncomfortable around Dedue so it took her some time to get there.

However, Sylvain and Felix cut her off. Sylvain put his arm around her and neatly redirected her away from the kitchen, Felix took up a position on her other side.

"Xion!" the red head greeted in a sing-song voice, "You look stunning today."

"Better not let Kishi hear that, Sylvain," Xion scolded. She was suspicious, not because of the flirting but because Felix seemed in on it.

"We've actually been looking for you," Sylvain said, pulling her along as they walked out towards the stairs to the pond.

"Ingrid said if we saw you, to tell you she needs help with some flying maneuvers," Felix told her.

"...yeah, I don't believe that for a second. What's up?" She stopped and crossed her arms.

"No, it's true," Ingrid said as she walked up. She waved a little bit.

"When we were clearing out Enbarr I noticed my team chemistry wasn't great. I think it would be best for me to be paired with another airborne unit but that means practicing my positioning," the blonde assured Xion.

"... I'm still suspicious but okay."

Ingrid waved off the boys and took Xion’s hand, pulling her along to get their mounts and go train.

Kishi poked his head out of the kitchen a moment later and Sylvain flashed him a thumbs up and a wink. He let out his held breath and then got back to work.

Ingrid had Xion out running drills all day and only seemed satisfied when the sun was touching the western sky and they missed dinner.

"Thanks again, Xion."

"Yeah...but you really didn't need the help. Your maneuvers are top notch as always."

"There's always room for improvement. Um, I think you have someone waiting for you." Ingrid pointed to the edge of the stable area where Sylvain was waving.

"...thanks, Ingrid." Xion walked to Sylvain.

"Ready for dinner?" Sylvain asked with a grin.

"Dinner's still being served?"

"Sort of." He walked with her, leading the way through the monastery to the second floor and then the third. Kishi was there, pacing.

"...are we allowed to be up here?" Xion asked. Kishi smiled at her and Sylvain excused himself.

"Not really, but that's ok." He took her hand and led her over to one of the walls where a rope ladder was attached to the roof.

She kissed his hand and asked, "Are we climbing?"

"Unless you'd rather pass on the chance to eat dinner on the highest point of the monastery."

"Is that why Ingrid had me running drills for six hours?"

"It took me longer to make than I thought," he said a little shamefully.

"I don't mind waiting for you." She stepped up onto the ladder and he followed her up.

The roof of the tower was relatively flat. The center was raised, and a gentle slope moved from the middle to the edges, so it wasn't a good spot to sleep but the picnic stayed well enough without rolling off the roof. He had made roast with gravy, mashed potatoes, seasoned vegetables, and his first attempt at fresh bread. There was water and wine to drink and he had a pair of turnovers hiding in the basket next to the fluffy fur rug he had laid the spread out on.

Xion helped Kishi up the last bit before crawling over to the rug and opening the basket.

"...did you make all of this?" she asked.

"Dedue helped a little bit," he said as he settled down. Kishi noticed her peeking in the basket and hurriedly closed it.

"You can't start with dessert."

"Oh, you're no fun." She playfully stuck out her tongue. He chuckled a little and helped dish her up a plate before serving himself.

"Thank you, Kishi." She poured the wine for him.

He made sure they took their time eating while they watched the last of the light leave the sky and the stars and moon slowly appear.

Fortunately, Dedue was a genius in the kitchen and was able to correct any of Kishi’s mistakes early. The roast turned out tender, the potatoes creamy, and the vegetables were cooked to a nice crisp. The gravy was the only thing he did completely himself and it was admittedly lacking. It needed some salt.

"Dessert?" he asked anxiously when he could see her getting to the end of the meal.

"You know I'll never turn down sweets." She smiled and leaned over to kiss his cheek.

He smiled gently in response and finally got into the basket, only fumbling a little in the dark. He presented her with a cherry turnover with a sloppy attempt at an icing flower. He was going for an aster but it looked more generic in the end. Tucked in the icing was the ring.

"...thank you, Kishi." Xion lifted the little icing flower with a finger to eat it and oh it was too heavy.

"Is there something in this?" she asked. He gently took off the top layer of icing to reveal the ring, sparkling in the moonlight.

Xion didn't say anything for a moment. _ A ring. He's giving me a ring. _

"Are...is this... Kishi, are you  _ proposing  _ or am I jumping to expectations?"

"I told you, I know what I want now that the war is over," he said, blushing, "Xion, please, do me the incredible honor and let me be your husband."

She covered her mouth.

"Oh Goddess, oh _ Goddess _ ." Xion crawled into his lap.

"You mean it? I'm not dreaming?" she asked. He blinked a little, still anxious.

"Is that a yes?"

_ "Yes." _

He couldn't stop himself. He kissed her. Xion grabbed his collar to keep him from pulling away. Kishi tried not to lose his balance but let himself fall back anyway to lay on the roof with his new fiancé on his chest.

A couple of tears fell onto his cheeks and he gently pushed her a little away at that so he could see her.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong?"

"Nothing.  _ Nothing _ is wrong." She hadn't considered the chance of getting married since she was a child. Up until Gronder she'd expected not to live long enough and wasn't trying to change that.

"I'm happy, Kishi. So happy."

"Oh, ok. That's an ok reason to cry." He very, very gently wiped her tears away with his thumbs.

She sniffed and tucked her face into his shoulder.

"I love you," she sniffled. He sat up again, holding her to his chest as he did so.

"I love you too. Here, put the ring on. I want to make sure it fits."

She nodded and held her hand up. He took the ring from the icing and gently cleaned it on the corner of his shirt before tucking it onto her ring finger.

"Is this a good alternative to shouting from the mountain tops?"

She grinned and said, "We can still do that."

He gently wiggled out from under her and stood up to yell out over the monastery, "I love Xion!!! I'm going to marry her!!!"

Xion joined him a moment later, yelling, "I love Kishi Rowe and I'm gonna be his wife!"

There were a couple muffled, celebratory cheers from downstairs before their owners scattered. Seteth came barreling out onto the landing and Kishi quickly and quietly retreated from the edge. They weren't technically allowed to be on Rhea's roof. Xion covered her mouth to suppress a giggle before sitting back down.

They waited in tense, mildly comical, silence until Seteth left and then Kishi was comfortable laughing.

"I'm so happy," he told her, "Xion, I hope it wasn't too soon to propose. We haven't been dating long but I just couldn't wait anymore."

"...I didn't expect it, but I'm happy too." She reached for his hand. He let her take it and squeezed her hand back.

"I need to clean up," he told her, "I'm pretty sure Mercedes and Annette are waiting to ambush you too."

She hadn't eaten the turnover. Oops.

"What can I help you carry down?"

"Just yourself my dear. I have Ashe waiting to help me get stuff down so you can go show off to the others."

She blushed a little.

Then groaned, "Am I going to sleep tonight with Annette and Mercedes asking questions?"

"I think you can still hide in our room tonight. I don't think we have to split up until the wedding."

"Oh, when do you have in mind?"

He blanked on that.

"Uh..."

"Can't be winter, I'd die in the cold."

"We have time to figure that out. Let's put an end to the bastards who slither first and then I'll see about getting your family home so they can help plan and be a part of it."

Oof, that was going to be an awkward conversation.  _ Hi Dad, not only am I alive I'm engaged to a Kingdom Noble. _ Yikes.

"Alright, love." She kissed his cheek. He beamed and started putting the leftovers and utensils in the basket, but she snagged her turnover before he could put it away.

"You did pretty good with the meal, by the way."

"I practiced," he said proudly, like a child after their first piano recital.

She laughed, "You must have. Puff pastry's difficult."

He wrapped the basket up in the blanket and tied a rope around it, then leaned over the side of the roof and made pigeon noises. There was a brief delay and then a return pigeon response and Kishi lowered the wrapped-up basket down to Ashe.

"...what was that?" Xion asked.

"Seteth has been keeping a close eye on Rhea since we got back, so we can't exactly be super loud in front of her room."

"The bird noises. How did you do that?"

He curled his hands together in front of his face and recreated the pigeon sound. She just kind of stared.

"That's really cool but I still have no idea how you do it."

"I'll teach you sometime." Kishi started down the rope ladder. She followed him down once he reached the landing. He pulled on a little string to undo the rope ladder and rolled it up to tuck under his arm. "Alright, let's go," he whispered to her. She linked arms with him and Kishi kissed her gently before starting down the stairs. They came around a sharp corner and smacked into Seteth. There were a few awkward moments of processing before Kishi recovered. He grabbed Xion's hand and took off running past the elder man.

He didn't stop until they got to the reception hall. Xion was still giggling when they got there.

"Damn, Seteth is scary," he chuckled.

"Not as scary as the butcher."

He smiled and looked at her like she was the greatest thing in the world. He was so humbled by her. It was like looking out over an ocean and knowing that he could never love or appreciate her majesty and awe-inspiring power and beauty enough, but damnit he would try.

"I need to go feed Atlas," he told her quietly, somewhat entranced, "meet you back at our room?"

"Sure. Of course, love." She kissed his cheek before walking off. Xion squealed like an excited teen as soon as she got to her room.

Kishi skipped the entire time he did his chores.

* * *

9/13 - Overprotective

Ever since Kishi proposed he started to get a little more anxious and protective. Now that Xion would be marrying into a noble family, Kishi was concerned that maybe she wouldn't know how to handle it and people would take advantage of her.

With help from the other lions, he had started finding books for her to read, different teas to try, manuscripts to study, and he was eager to expand on her self-defense all while they were prepping to assault the Agarthian slitherers.

He was following her around today, pacing somewhat.

"Okay, when you kidnapped- not if, when... Xion are you listening? This is important!"

"If anyone manages to get me, I'll rip their junk off," she muttered around a mug of tea. She was getting a little weary of the safety talks.

"Or use my dagger," Xion added as an afterthought.

Kishi paused for a second and then hugged her head to his chest, nuzzling her hair.

"That's my future wife," he said affectionately.

"I really think you're too worried. I'm a warrior of the Kingdom and a master of espionage. I need more etiquette training than warnings."

"Then you're probably fine overall," Felix said, looking up from his book. He was sitting near them in the dining hall.

He continued, "Kingdom nobles don't really worry so much about that frilly etiquette stuff like the former alliance or empire nobles. As long as you make a good knight and come from noble bloodlines it's usually enough." Kishi glared at him a little. Felix wasn't wrong but Kishi still wanted her to be more nobly than she already was. He loved her a lot but was admittedly worried his people wouldn't.

"Being a commoner is easily outweighed by a crest, though," Xion pointed out.

"You're probably more fit to be a noble than Kishi," Felix grumbled. Kishi gasped a little.

"Except that I'm rude and have little respect for authority. Kinda like you, Felix."

The swordmaster snorted in response. Kishi was torn between incredible pride and mild horror. He settled on pride.

"You're going to be such a good wife," he mumbled into the top of her head.

"Xion Rowe. Guess you can't call me Baker anymore." She turned her head to kiss him. Felix made a disgusted grunting sound but Kishi kissed her anyway.

"It makes me kind of sad. I liked calling you Baker. It was something unique that only I called you."

"You can always take my name then… and I thought you just didn't like me."

He seemed a little saddened by that.

"I... wasn't very good at admitting my feelings back then. Don't worry, I'll come up with a good nickname."

"I'll leave that up to you. You can call me anything except late for dinner."

He grinned and kissed her once more.

"I need to go finish working Atlas then. We still have a lot of work to do. I love you."

"Love you too, Kishi." She turned back to her book.

* * *

9/20 - What Does This Mean?

Kishi was helping put books away in the library. It was just after dinner and he had originally come up here to look for something new to read but the mess was something special and he knew that Cyril was overworked enough as it was.

Cleaning up now was mildly cathartic. Tomorrow they were leaving for what would hopefully be the last fight, the true end of their war and peace for his wife-to-be.

Xion came by half an hour later.

"Kishi? Sylvain said I'd find you in here..."

He turned around, a few books in hand, and smiled at her.

"Hello beautiful."

"Cleaning up? Mind if I join? There's a conversation I've been meaning to have with you."

He tilted his head curiously and asked, "What about?"

"What's getting married actually going to mean for us?" she asked in response.

"Uh..." he managed. The question was unexpected.

"It means we will be husband and wife...? I'm confused, is this a trick question?"

"Like...do you want kids? Or are there different rules or expectations for the Kingdom? That kind of thing."

"Oh... Well, yeah, I would like kids. I don't think there are any special rules and you would mostly just support me while we ruled over our county."

"Okay...any kids we have are likely to come in pairs," Xion warned. He grinned.

"All the better."

"What about raising them?"

"What about raising them?" he asked, "We will be there to help them, and we can have nannies and wet nurses if we need them too."

"...I guess we can work on that when we get there. What about family? I've never heard anything about your parents, are they still around?"

"Cornelia killed my mother a few years ago, my father passed away recently, just before we took back the Kingdom."

"...oh. I'm sorry."

"I barely knew them. I was raised by my grandfather." He didn’t seem remotely upset.

"Did you know your grandmother?"

"She died before I was born."

"What about on the other side?"

"I never knew my father's parents. I'm not really sad about it. I wish you could have known my grandfather Gwendal, but my parents were not good people. They sold out immediately and tossed me away when I proved crestless."

"...we won't be like them," Xion promised.

"No. I imagine the world will be a lot different now with Fodlan as it is now. …What did you think marriage would be like?"

"... I'm not sure. I never got to see my Mom and Dad's."

"Um. Speaking of your dad... I didn't ask for your hand or offer a dowry to him before I asked. Is that going to be a problem?"

"... probably not? It's going to be an awkward conversation anyway. He, uh... doesn't know I'm still alive."

Kishi took an uncomfortable, deep breath and said, "Well. Maybe it's good I didn't go to him first."

"It's probably Vanitas you have to worry about," she admitted.

"Well, it's a good thing he doesn't know."

"...um..."

All the color drained from Kishi's face as he squeaked out, "What do you mean um?"

"...he does? Would you rather he found out by hearing about our wedding from someone else?"

Kishi could've been a ghost, he was so pale.

"How exactly did you phrase it?" he asked.

"...why?"

"Because I like my intestines where they are."

"C'mon, Vanitas is an ass but he's not a killer."

He flashed her a queasy, uncomfortable expression like: 'really?'

"...what?" she countered.

"...nothing."

"...well, what about other things? Like, birthdays and holidays and travel?"

"We can celebrate those. Travel will depend on how busy we are."

"What year were you born?"

"1160," Kishi answered.

"So, you're turning twenty-six this year?"

He thought about that for a second, then said, "Yeah I guess I am."

"Did you forget?"

"I stopped paying attention to the date or my birthday during the years without the Professor."

"Guess I'm helping you make up for it this year. It's next month, right?"

It took him an additional second to think through that.

"Yeah I guess it is. Just after we get back from this hideout."

"Guess I'll have to ask Sylvain's help planning something."

"Y-You don't have to do that." He had gone so long without celebrating, he still wasn't sure it was ok to start again.

"I want to spoil my ex-boyfriend."

"Ex? Oh right," he smiled a little with relief, "I-I'll think about it. We need to focus on the mission first."

"...yeah. Shambala," she said quietly.

He took a deep breath and asked, "Do you think we're ready?"

"...I don't know. In all my memories, I'm a scared child trying to care for other scared children, and I was powerless against them. I'm not anymore, but...I can't say how we'd measure up."

"You aren't alone this time either."

"... you're right. I'm not alone, and I never will be again."

He messed up her hair.

"Not ever. Now go to bed, we need to be rested."

"Yeah, yeah, okay." She grinned and elbowed him. He kissed her forehead and went back to putting books away. Xion went to their room.

He joined her a couple hours later, cuddling in behind her so he could hold her protectively while he slept.

* * *

9/27 - The City Without Light

The road to Shamballa was long and arduous but finally, they were there and ready for the fight ahead. Camp had been hastily established with little down time between travel and the onset of the fight. No one wanted to be there long enough to worry about a long term camp.

Xion stayed close to Kishi during the approach. They wouldn't be fighting together, but they were unwilling to part until they had to. She was on edge as soon as the cavern came into view.

The Professor barked orders and Kishi blew Xion a kiss. He was nervous leaving her, but the Professor usually knew what was best, so he and Sylvain took off running down a long hallway to set up a flank while Xion took off with Mercedes and Ashe.

She trusted the Professor but still didn't like these tiny groups and the stillness in the cave made her skin crawl.

The hallways surrounded the center plaza where most of the inhabitants had retreated. The Professor's gut was right and surrounding them proved to be the better option, all escapes were cut off and the enemy was mobilizing Titanus machine units now.

Kishi and Sylvain mowed a few people down, occasionally fist bumping to improve morale. The wide-open space of the citadel made it easy to see their allies as they all converged on the massive building where Thales was holed up.

The class were all engaged when Xion broke formation. She recognized one of the branching hallways. Ashe saw her break and followed her to provide back up. She turned into a door, expecting to see kids.

Instead, the beds were gone. The room was empty, aside from a few filing cabinets. She pulled a drawer and hauled the whole thing out. _Can I strap this to Aster and still fly?_ she thought.

Ashe dismounted to follow her into the room.

"Xion? The fighting is back towards the citadel."

"...I expected to find something different here. Sorry, let's regroup." Maybe she could hand it off to Byleth to drop in the convoy. He walked over to the cabinet and pulled out a file.

"...What is all of this?" he asked.

"... information? I was a spy at one point. I'm still going to take the opportunity to grab what might give us an advantage. but we can't take the whole cabinet."

"Maybe we can come back for it after we take the city."

"...yeah. Maybe." Xion put the drawer on the floor.

"Let's get back," she said. Ashe nodded and ran back to his horse. He and Xion raced back to the class.

By now the others had Thales' building surrounded and Byleth and Rhea were pushing up.

Xion did a quick flyover to make sure Kishi was doing alright. He and Sylvain were backing up Annette as they double checked the perimeter. He looked up when he heard Aster's wingbeats and nodded her direction before they moved out farther. Ingrid met Ashe and Xion.

"Thales is holed up inside. Rhea and the Professor need back up from us," she reported. Xion nodded and flew up beside the door.

Once the door was open those closest moved in. Byleth, Rhea and Flayn came up the stairs where Seteth and Xion flew. Church leadership, and those with personal stake in Thales defeat seemed to be the best option.

Flayn and Seteth quickly mowed down the guards, leaving Thales alone in the middle of the too big room at the bottom of a steep and bland staircase. He looked them over with disdain.

"A rat returning to its cage," he observed when his blank stare found Xion.

_ A rat. Really? That's— _

She stiffened a bit. She knew that voice from somewhere else—where? Where had she heard it before? Arundel! Thales was disguised as Arundel just as Kronya had disguised herself as Monica!

"Where are the other kids?" Xion snapped. She flew over and swung with her axe.

"The others were failures, thrown to the fires," he said simply before throwing a Death spell at her.

Xion faltered. If Aster wasn't so smart, she probably would have taken the full brunt of the spell but the Wyvern dodged expertly.

She knew that was likely what had happened to those kids. But...but  _ actually hearing _ it, having those suspicions confirmed, it made Xion’s blood simultaneously freeze and boil. She yelled and attacked again.

Byleth moved in to back her up but even Thales wasn't ready for her assault. He took a crippling blow to his chest. His armor splintered and blood dripped beneath him. He turned and hobbled up the stairs, but it was clear he wouldn't survive much longer.

Xion had Aster land at the base when Byleth and Rhea chased him up. She couldn't see straight; her eyes were swimming. Her whole body shook with each breath.  _ All dead. _

“You will never… get to enjoy your victory,” Thales told them as he pressed his hand to a series of carvings in the floor.

“It can’t be…” Rhea said as they started to glow purple, the light filling the room. Byleth looked to Rhea for some kind of direction but Thales was on a roll.

“For all Agarthans…” Thale called, “let there be light!”

The first blast punched a hole in the ceiling and knocked down the walls and pillars around Thale's hideaway. Orange light from the setting sun lit up the dust and dirt obscuring all vision, and the confused army scattered where they could. Kishi, Sylvain, and Annette quickly turned around to head towards the collapse. Horses were racing past them after throwing their riders, but the damage was mostly contained to just around Thales and the attack force around him.

That was at least enough to snap her out of it temporarily. Xion urged Aster up, looking for a way to direct the army out of the debris.

The second blast was all skyward, the shock wave blowing them all back and chasing any remaining animals away as Rhea destroyed it, becoming The Immaculate One to try and protect them from dragon form.

The third blast was where Kishi stopped being able to keep count. They poured down like rain and while Rhea was able to stop many of them, several slammed into the city, and rubble rained on all of them. The already bewildered army was more than scattered now. Eventually, gratefully, the dust settled.

There were shouts and moans and people began cataloging their injuries.

Xion had landed Aster after the second. They'd been extremely lucky to only get hit by smaller stones, but she knew from the sounds when it was over that it wasn't a universal experience.

"Who needs help?!" she called.

Byleth, Seteh, and Flayn had found Rhea, human once more, and were seeing to her. She had taken a lot of damage but otherwise seemed ok. Ashe was helping Dedue stay upright. The Duscur man seemed dazed and had a massive lump on his head. Ashe looked worse than he was. The gray-haired boy had a cut over his eye that was bleeding badly.

Ingrid limped over to Xion, also looking around for anyone who would need help. Many soldiers from battalions had been seriously injured or killed, Mercedes was running between injured men, healing them enough to dig themselves out and start helping others, Felix was doing his best to help as well, although he was favoring one arm, the other hung a little loosely.

Some distance away, Annette was sobbing. She was almost completely unscathed, just a little dirty from the settling dust. Dimitri was standing next to her and Sylvain, who was kneeling on the ground. He had just pulled Kishi out of the rubble with Dimitri's help and was supporting Kishi's top half in his lap with one arm draped over his friend to hold him up. The other was pressed against Kishi's chest, palm glowing faintly as he tried to heal him while whispering words of encouragement.

Xion picked her way through the rubble once she spotted them, picking up speed when she realized Kishi wasn't moving. She called his name once, twice, before she managed to get over.

Sylvain looked up when he heard her voice and called out to Dimitri who immediately moved to cut Xion off. He looped an arm around her and tried to block her view with his body.

" _ No _ — no,  _ please _ , please, let me go—" Her voice shook and she tried to break out of Dimitri's hold, even knowing the man's monstrous strength.

"—please, I can't lose him too—"

"Xion... You do not want to see him. This is not how you want to remember him," he told her gently, hugging her. Annette came over to her.

"He saved me... I'm so sorry Xion..."

"One of you go get Flayn or Lady Rhea," Sylvain snapped at them. He was drained from the fight but kept healing where he could. Annette ran off, still sobbing.

Everything seemed to be crumbling—literally and figuratively. Xion pounded on Dimitri's chest plate a few times, repeating her previous demands before going still.

"...I at least want to be able to say goodbye," she said

"I have been where you are, Xion," Dimitri said gently, "You do not want to do this to yourself and he may yet live. Let us go help the others. It would not be wise to be in the way of the healers." He slowly loosened his grip on her and she slowly backed away.

"I have held children as they died afraid and thought I would never wake up at Gronder. I am not thinking of myself. Would you want to die alone?"

It was hard for Dimitri to show positive emotions with his battle-hardened scowl, but he tried for something that was similar to sympathy. He looked away and stepped aside.

Xion stumbled toward Kishi but stopped just short and took his hand.

His eyes were closed and blood was on his lips, slowly dripping down his cheek and jaw to stain his hair pink. The Great Knight armor might've saved his life, but it was badly dented now and completely unusable. It was hard to tell what he looked like under the mutilated armor but it couldn't be good. There was enough blood under him and smeared across the ground to cause concern.

Sylvain had one arm wrapped around Kishi's shoulders, keeping him upright while he kept working through healing spells. He looked at Xion with grief in his eyes. He hadn't given up yet.

She didn't want to get in Sylvain's way, but she returned his look then kissed Kishi's hand and held it to her chest.

Sylvain looked up when Byleth ran over. She was just ahead of Flayn and Rhea was coming up with Seteth's help.

"Lay him down Sylvain," Flayn ordered. The more experienced healer knelt down to start working on him.

Rhea frowned and ordered, "Seteth, help our beloved Professor and these students find others who need help. We should leave this wretched place as soon as we are able."

"Of course, Lady Rhea." Sylvain gently lowered Kishi and got up.

"Xion, come on..." he whispered. She kissed Kishi’s hand again before getting up.

"Tell me how to help," she told Sylvain as he gently pulled her away to help pull people from the rubble.

It took almost all night to find all the survivors and get them back to the convoy/camp outside of Shamballa. Anyone with any knowledge of healing magic was working double time to get everyone healed up. Everyone except Flayn and Rhea.

Exhausted, Rhea and Seteth flew back to the monastery after Kishi was stable. Flayn had Dedue carry Kishi back to his tent where they managed to get his mangled armor off. He wasn't out of the woods yet and it was dangerous to move him, magic could only do so much.

Xion had helped ferry people out of Shambala until Aster was exhausted. It wasn't until she was sitting outside of Kishi's tent, waiting for any news, that she started to break down again.

Sylvain put a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, Xion? He's going to be ok," he comforted. Felix came up to them.

"So... Listen, the camp is moving out tomorrow. Everyone wants to get back to the monastery now that it's over but Kishi can't be moved yet. Some of us are volunteering to stay behind," he reported.

She kept her head down and managed to say, "I don't want to go. N-not yet."

"Sylvain and I will stay. Ashe volunteered too," Felix said, "...Xion, you need to rest."

" 'm fine with no sleep. Do they—do they need me back that badly?"

"What? No, Xion, no one is asking you to leave his side," Sylvain assured her, "the four of us are going to be there for him when he wakes up, I promise."

She wrapped her arms around herself.

"...thanks."

"You're not going to be able to help him if you're too tired to work," Felix said a little harshly, "Go in the tent and try to sleep."

"I'm not tired." She stood up and walked into the tent anyway.

It was just Kishi in there. Instead of a cot, the Lions had pitched in their bedding so he was laying on a pile of furs with a lighter one over him. They had cleaned him up as best they could and got him settled in for the long haul.

She sat on the ground next to him. He was barely breathing. She didn't want to move the blanket; didn't want to see how bad it was but she pressed a kiss to his forehead.

The night was quiet and Kishi slept. He didn't wake up even when the camp was packing up around them. Ashe stuck his head inside the tent.

"Xion? Did you want some dinner?" he offered. She shook her head.

"No, thank you.”

"Xion..." Ashe sat next to her for a second.

"I don't think Kishi would want you to stop taking care of yourself," he said gently.

"I'll eat later, Ashe. I'm just not hungry."

He reached out and gently squeezed her hand before leaving the tent. 

* * *

9/30 - Excavating

It wasn’t until three days later, in the late afternoon, long after everyone had left, that Kishi woke up. He opened his eyes slowly and tried to take a deep breath, but his chest felt tight and sore and it turned into a soft whimper instead.

Xion had left to get lunch. She'd eaten about half of it, the rest sat on a plate in the corner, when she heard him make noise.

"You're awake? Kishi, oh  _ Goddess _ , we were all so scared..." The tears started up again and she put a hand on his cheek. He turned his head just a hair to look at her.

"Jus' sleepin'," he slurred in a whisper, trying to joke with her despite the pain in his chest and legs. She laughed around a couple hitches in breath.

"Good dreams?" she asked.

"Lo's of good food."

Sylvain poked his head in, saying, "Hey Xion, I thought I heard--! Hey, look who's back from the dead." He came to stand next to Xion with a big grin on his face.

"Had to come back," he whispered, "my fiancé would've kicked my ass if I didn't."

"Kicked it to Ailell and back," she managed around her relieved tears. She kissed his cheek.

Sylvain knelt down and very gently pushed on Kishi's chest. It didn't take a lot of pressure before Kishi took a sharp breath and started to lose his vision with the pain.

"We might have to stay here another few days," Sylvain said with a frown, "try to go back to sleep, doctor's orders." Kishi nodded and tried to get comfortable with subtle little wiggles while Sylvain left. Moving in general just hurt.

"Do you want any help?" she asked but he shook his head.

"You ok?"

"Just some scrapes and bruises. Nothing I can't handle." She was tired but didn't care much at the moment.

"We won?" Kishi asked.

"Yeah. We did. Someone dug up Thales' body to be sure."

He smiled and shifted a little.

"Will you hold my hand?"

"Of course. Anything you want." She fished under the blanket for a minute to find it. He was seriously bruised, and he didn't have a lot of strength to squeeze her hand, but he tried.

"Don't worry about me, ok?"

"Not gonna happen. I love you, worrying comes with the package but I won't get lost in it, how's that sound?"

"You drive a hard bargain," he whispered and smiled at her as best he could, "I'm going to try and sleep now."

"Go ahead, love." She kissed his hand. He nodded and closed his eyes. It didn't take him long to fall asleep again.

Not long after, Ashe poked his head into the tent.

"Hey Xion, can I borrow you for a second?"

She looked up.

"Yeah, what do you need? Outside?"

"We have a lot of time here; I was wondering if you wanted to try and dig out the files."

"...oh. Yeah, that needs to happen, can you get Felix or Sylvain to stay with him though? I don't want him to wake up alone..."

"Yeah, I'll ask Felix." Ashe left the tent.

She kissed Kishi's hand and then forehead again before getting ready.

Xion had removed most of her armor for the flight so Aster could carry more on the way back. Seeing the crater from the air...a lot of it was still smoldering. It was a miracle they had survived such an attack.

Ashe held onto Xion tightly. The early evening air was nice even if the scenery was morbid. Finding the room in the rubble would be challenging.

Xion brought Aster into the cavern and the immediate heat was very noticeable. Pools of glowing melted rock popped and bubbled in places. Thank the Goddess Kishi hadn’t been trapped under any of the hot rock.

"The layout in here is completely different..." Ashe lamented.

She ended up landing near the cave wall. There was less debris and they'd have an easier time finding their way back.

"Can we work with that?"

"Yeah this should do. Do you remember where it is?" he asked.

"...I'm not sure if I'll still recognize it. I can probably find the general area, though."

"Alright, let's get moving. This place is unsettling." He was looking around uncomfortably. She nodded and set off towards where the battlefield had been.

"Where did we come in from?"

Ashe moved through the rubble as he said, "Over here, this kind of looks familiar."

"So, from here, in the fight, we went..."

Xion started retracing their steps. It took her about an hour to find the room. It was partially blocked off and it was starting to get dark. Ashe lit a torch and set it in some gravel. Then, he and Xion started moving bigger boulders. It was hard work, and they were sweating heavily by the end.

It was dark by the time they cleared the door and got to the files. Ashe started thumbing through them.

"This... Wow, Xion... this is horrible, the things they were doing."

"...yeah. It is."

Xion was trying to separate useful data from unimportant notes, but it was slow going.

Most of the documents were records and ledgers. Like true scientists, they were careful about taking detailed notes and it was in chronological order, starting at twenty years ago.

"Are we taking all of it?" Ashe asked.

"I'm trying to sort it. Keep anything with names, so at least their families can know."

He started pulling out individual files, hesitating when he found Xion, Lysithea, and Edelgard’s files.

"Something wrong, Ashe?" she asked. He handed her the file with her name on it in response.

Xion closed her eyes when she saw it, mumbling, "... yeah. I was here. With my brother, Roxas."

Ashe wasn't sure what to say, so he stayed quiet.

"I'd appreciate it if that didn't get around to anyone else." She stayed quiet after that too, just sorting journals.

Eventually, they started two piles: one for things that were dated and irrelevant and another for things that could be acted upon. Xion had the foresight to bring twine with her. Once everything in the cabinet was emptied, she tied the pile of useful intel into stacks that would be easier to carry.

"Let's head back. This is more than I thought we'd find."

Ashe nodded and grabbed a bundle, heading out of the rubble when there was the horrible scraping sound of boulders crashing together.

Xion looked up, expecting more of the cavern's ceiling or perhaps a pillar to have collapsed. Ashe tilted his head some.

"The area must still be unstable," he observed.

"... let's get out of here quickly." She started back the way they came.

He followed with the torch, but Ashe’s archer eyes noticed something across the destroyed city center and he quickly put the torch out in a pile of gravel debris.

Dragging himself out of a massive pile of rocks and boulders was the biggest man Ashe had ever seen. He had a purple flame about him and carried an unsettling aura that filled the area with feelings of dread. Xion's stomach dropped looking at him, once she did finally notice.

She dropped her voice to a whisper, "...we need to go. Now." She walked as fast as she could without making noise. Ashe didn't need telling twice. He did not care for ghosts. He ran after her, which was tricky with just the moonlight.

Nemesis pulled himself free finally and yelled a battle cry that was eerily close to an actual animal roar. He didn't immediately start moving though. Rather he turned and looked around before sitting down on a boulder to wait. More rubble shifted as the Saints of old also began to rise from the dead and start the long climb out of their graves.

When they reached the wall of the cave, Xion tied the bundle to Aster so she could fly properly before mounting and offering Ashe a hand up. Ashe held onto his Intel and wrapped an arm around Xion, doing his best to keep quiet.

Aster's wingbeats weren't as quiet as a pegasus', but that couldn't be helped. At least the wyvern's darker hide would make them harder to spot at night. Xion still kept them near the edge of the cavern until they could fly out and back to camp.

Ashe jumped off before they even landed and ran straight to his own tent to start packing. Sylvain was nowhere to be seen but Felix stuck his head out of Kishi’s tent to wave briefly in greeting.

Xion left Aster's tack on when she went to see Felix.

"It's not safe to stay here," she reported.

His eyes narrowed just slightly as he asked, "Why?"

"Because there's a giant with weird purple magic obliterating everything left down there."

"Is Ashe telling ghost stories again?"

"No. I saw him, Felix. Do I scare easily?"

"No, I guess you don't. It's probably a mage we missed and who cares if they're just beating some rocks." "Hey, Felix, Ashe just told me that there are ghosts in the city," Sylvain said as he approached the tent, "Oh, hey Xion."

"I only saw one person. He was terrifying, but just the one. Ashe saw more?"

"You're seeing them too? Now I feel like I missed out on a party."

"Come on Sylvain," Felix said, "Let's go prove there's nothing there."

"What I saw wasn't a ghost. I'd describe it as closer to a devil.  _ It's not safe _ to go back," Xion insisted.

"I'm sure it's fine Xion."

"We'll be careful." They both walked off. Xion held in an irritated scream, not wanting to wake Kishi up when Ashe came rushing over.

"...where are Felix and Sylvain?"

"Going to confirm what we saw. They don't believe us."

Ashe paled and rushed after them while Xion watched from the tent flap. She couldn't leave Kishi without a guard right now.

The camp wasn't too far from the now hole in the ground, but it was far enough where it took them some time to come back and they were a lot more serious. All three came into Kishi’s tent to talk about a plan.

"So, you were right," Sylvain admitted, "and it gets worse."

"There's more than one," Felix said, "there are actually a lot of them but that's not the bad part. I recognize the sword the big guy had. I don't know how it's possible but it's definitely the Sword of the Creator."

"We need to get back to the monastery," Xion whispered. She had packed most of her and Kishi's things.

"...is there a safe way to do it, Sylvain?" she asked, thinking of Kishi.

"It's... Really dangerous to move him right now," Sylvain admitted, "if we did, we'd have to move pretty slowly."

"Slowly is better than nothing. What would we need to do?"

"Um..." Sylvain had nothing.

"We don't have a cart, or wagon, do we," she asked.

"If we did, it would likely be too bumpy, the roads out here aren't in great shape."

"We will have to take turns carrying him by hand then," Felix offered, "Xion you can catch up to the convoy and warn them."

"I... yeah. Okay."

Kishi's safety was more important than her desire to be near him at the moment.

"Come back after you warn them," Ashe told her.

"We might be able to hide," Sylvain offered.

Felix countered, "Unlikely, if this is Nemesis somehow, I don't think we'd be able to stay hidden. In any case we have to start moving and we are left with the same problem."

"I'll keep trying to heal him while we break camp and make a stretcher," Sylvain offered. Xion gave Kishi a long look before exiting the tent.

Sylvain sat next to Kishi to get started. Ashe and Felix left with Xion.

"Find out what the Professor wants us to do and meet us as soon as you can along the road," Felix ordered.

"I'll make sure. Anything else?"

"Fly fast and be safe," Felix told her. He and Ashe hurried to break down camp. Xion mounted and took off.


	23. Wyvern Moon 1186

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> 10/2 - Race!   
> 10/9 - Guerilla Warfare  
> 10/12 - Birthday on the Road  
> 10/17 - Great Bridge of Myrrdin Take 2  
> 10/19 - Fodlan’s New Dawn

10/2 - Race!

The main army convoy had moved quickly and were almost home. The monastery was just over a week's marching distance away from Shamballa. The fast pace getting there shaved that down to a week, but the Knights of Seiros, eager to be home could get that down to six keeping this pace. With Kishi as hurt as he was, the Lions left behind were looking at a two-week journey, assuming they weren't stopped before then.

It took Xion two days to reunite with the boys flying at full speed both directions. The Professor's orders were to get Kishi to the monastery as quickly as was safely possible and run scouting missions in the meantime.

They had two horses and Aster with them. Ashe was using his horse to keep tabs on Nemesis and his growing army, the other was Sylvain's. At first, they had tried to find a way to get Kishi on the horse, but it seemed to remember him from those months ago and at the first sign of bucking, they scrapped the idea.

Eventually, they had figured out a type of travois and just hooked the front end of a stretcher to the horse's saddle. As long as they moved slowly and someone was always leading the horse, Kishi didn't jostle too much. Just to be safe, they still tied him in and wrapped him up in a blanket.

Xion and Aster also took turns with the scouting but mostly stayed with the group, as Ashe tended to see the army a little better.

"How are things looking?" Felix asked. Ashe and Xion had just gotten back.

"They move faster than us," Ashe said, "but they stop a lot to... to make the army bigger."

"And I retract my statement about them not being ghosts," Xion added. Ashe made a tiny peeping whimper noise at that.

The horse hit a little bump and Kishi groaned a little, coming around. Sleeping while being dragged behind a horse hadn't been easy but he was healing ok. Occasionally, they would stop for tea and that was helping him out too.

Xion winced at the sound of his groans. She was grateful she'd spent the entire trip from Gronder to the monastery unconscious.

"Hey Kishi," Sylvain greeted. The red head was walking behind them to make sure Ki didn't fall out. Kishi yawned a bit and tried to sit up some but he still couldn't quite do that.

"What's going on?" he asked.

Xion fell into step beside Sylvain and told him, "We're heading back to the monastery."

He smiled softly at her.

"That's good. I don't think I like camping anymore."

"...yeah. We shouldn't have to do too much more of it." She returned his smile, though it was strained.

"Hey Felix, we should stop for a second while he's awake to eat," Sylvain called. The horse stopped in response.

"Alright, but not long, I don't want to be overtaken."

Kishi tilted his head and managed to wiggle an arm free so he could reach for her. She stepped up to take it.

"Hope you're hungry," Xion said softly. He squeezed her hand.

"You look tired..."

"It's been three days since I heard your voice." He really did not need the extra stress right now, so she kept the approaching enemy to herself.

"I'm sorry, I'm here."

"You need the rest right now. You don't need to apologize."

"You need to rest too," he whispered, "tell Felix we should camp here for the night. We don't need to be rushing back."

"We'll manage. We're not pushing it with speed and we're hoping to get you back to the monastery faster."

"You know, if we wait a few days I can just walk with you guys instead of being dragged," he insisted.

Xion looked to Felix, Ashe, and Sylvain. In that order.

"... maybe if the Professor didn't want us back."

He winced a little. They couldn't really argue with the Professor.

"Does she really need all of us? You and I could stay behind."

"I'm not trained in anything more than basic field dressing," Xion reminded him.

"I'm going to lose this debate, aren't I?" Kishi asked with a soft smile.

"Probably. We'll take rests when we need them, okay?" She squeezed his hand gently.

"You too? Please, Xion, I don't like seeing you so tired."

Felix and Sylvain had gotten a little mini fire going and were heating up some water for tea. Travel equipment for something as frivolous as tea wasn't usually in the Kingdom Noble's bag but Felix had the foresight to hang onto a set when they realized Kishi would need to be taking in nutrients somehow.

"I promise to get some rest," Xion assured him. They physically could not make it to the monastery without sleeping at least once. He nodded, satisfied, and looked around.

"Where's Atlas?" Kishi asked.

"...we don't know. We couldn't find him after the rubble settled." She felt guilty for not looking more when they went looking for the research. Kishi tried to hide his despair but his heart hurt a bit.

"...He was old. It's ok if he didn't make it."

"I'm so sorry, Kishi."

"It's ok... really, it is."

Sylvain came over with a teacup for Xion, and one for Kishi.

"You up for this?" he asked his friend. Kishi nodded and Sylvain bent down to help him.

Xion took her cup. She wasn't going to argue this with him right now.

"Y'know, I'm still shit at making tea."

"Felix could probably teach you," Sylvain said but Kishi gently waved him off.

"I want to teach her."

"He did say he would when we were still students," Xion confirmed.

"If he's taking that long then maybe you do need a new teacher," Felix said, as he walked up with his own tea.

"It just hasn't come up again."

Xion preferred the hot chocolate Petra had made once but she had no idea how to make it or how to get the beans they were made from.

There was a sound of thundering hooves as Ashe rode up.

"Why aren't you guys moving?" he asked urgently.

"Kishi's awake, we want to get something in him while we can," Xion told him.

"Well the army is catching up," Ashe said. Felix promptly moved to clean up.

"Army?" Kishi asked, more alarmed.

Xion cringed and confirmed, "Yeah. The reason the Professor wants us all back."

"I thought we won."

"...we did. This army came after."

He looked distraught and confused.

"Don't worry about it, Ki," Sylvain told him. Felix finished putting the stuff away and started moving the horse again.

"We'll fill you in more once we're back at the monastery,” she promised. Xion stood up and adjusted her travel gear.

He opened his mouth to say something, but they started moving again and it was hard to focus on words with all the bumping.

* * *

10/9 - Guerilla Warfare

They had been on the road a week and with their slow pace they were barely over halfway home. Kishi was finally able to sit up with some help, eat solid foods, and hold his own teacup but Sylvain refused to let him get up and walk around.

Meanwhile Ashe was getting more anxious. The army behind them was catching up. The only reason they  _ hadn't  _ been overtaken was because Nemesis kept stopping at every possible village to visit their graveyards for recruits. If he wasn't satisfied, the mad General killed the inhabitants to recruit them.

It was early morning when they crossed a smallish bridge over a quick moving river and Felix insisted they stop to top off their waters.

Xion stayed with the horses and Kishi. Hopefully Sylvain would let him ride in a few days and they could pick the pace up. She still hadn't gotten much sleep, only enough to be functional. She'd had to keep her patrols low to the ground to avoid being seen.

Ashe and Felix came running back at full speed. They had gone to check on Nemesis. Sylvain looked up from the river where he had been filling up waters.

"We need to start moving immediately," Felix said, "We might have had to take out a couple scouts." He was relatively calm but Ashe wasn't.

"They know we're here," Ashe mumbled with anxiety in his voice.

Xion swore and then said, "Sylvain, please tell me he can ride with one of us."

Kishi looked at Sylvain with concern.

"If he tries to ride too early it could mess him and cause internal bleeding. I don't want him to bleed out because we rushed it."

"Give me a bow," Kishi said, "I can cover our backs while we move."

"...do we have spare weapons?" Xion asked.

"I have a spare bow," Ashe offered. He fished around on his horse for one and passed Kishi a modified Steel Bow. Kishi was looking at the road behind them.

"Hey... can we burn the bridge?" he asked. The bridge was smaller, made of mostly wood.

Xion looked back and thought aloud, "It'll definitely slow them down. We should at least try it."

A chill settled on the air and Kishi's blood ran cold.

"We should do that... We should do that right now."

Felix got out flint and started working on setting the bridge on fire, but it was slow going and the wood wasn't completely dry because of the river beneath it.

"Sylvain, you know fire magic, right?" Xion asked him while he was finishing up packing.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Once he was content with everything on the two horses and Aster, he ran over to the edge of the bridge and launched fire at the far side. It was hard to maintain a consistent flame and the wood smoked a lot. There was a loud shout from the other side, distant enough where the owner wasn't visible, but it was clear their position was known.

"Next time we'll bring bombs or something," Xion mumbled to herself and mounted up. She took off on Aster and flew under the bridge to try and weaken the supports.

The bridge was  _ not _ burning fast enough. Sylvain kept attacking it, but it was taking its time lighting on fire and the sounds of people approaching were getting louder. There was a pained roar from the other side as Ashe managed to hit a shot in the dark.

There was more yelling as Kishi helped Ashe out too. Some of the undead army were emerging from the trees now, wandering out onto the road behind Nemesis himself. Kishi felt so much more exposed now.

The bridge groaned as it started to collapse. Xion flew back around, trusting its weight to pull it down.

"Let's get going!" she yelled.

Nemesis stopped at the edge of the river as the bridge collapsed. Kishi and Ashe both shot at him, but he neatly deflected both arrows with his sword. The Sword of the Creator was darker than the one that Byleth had but it unfolded the same way. It lashed out like a whip towards Xion, the closest to his side of the river.

Xion hissed and Aster roared when the tip of the sword caught them across her leg and the wyvern’s side. It wasn't a deep cut, but it still hurt. She barreled past the horses.

Kishi promptly started shooting at archers that were starting to target her. He used his bow to smack the horse he was attached to, moving himself out of range while Ashe, Sylvain, and Felix jogged to catch up.

"That should buy us some time," Felix confirmed.

"Do either of you know where the nearest bridge is on this river?" Xion asked as she landed beside them.

"This is old Alliance territory; I don't think any of us know it well enough," Ashe lamented.

"... okay. Let's just go, then." Xion applied the half concoction she had left to Aster's wing.

"You don't want to try picking them off from across the river?" Sylvain joked.

"Ha ha."

* * *

10/12 - Birthday on the Road

A few days after their confrontation with Nemesis, Kishi was able to sit up on his own and walk around some. Destroying the bridge bought them more time than they thought and the army was too distant to be a concern. They still weren't dawdling, but they were more willing to take some time to let Kishi find his legs again.

Sylvain didn't want him riding yet but he could at least walk if he didn't get his heart rate up too high. He was helping Ashe find fresh tea options in the forest beside the road. Xion had left him to Ashe for a moment to talk to the resident nurse.

"Hey Sylvain. Is there anything nice we can do for Kishi today?"

"Something nice?" Sylvain asked, "What do you mean?"

"It's his birthday."

"It is?" Sylvain seemed pretty drawn back by that.

"I guess the date got away from me," he admitted.

"Yeah. I think it got away from him, too."

Kishi and Ashe came back and got tea started.

"Well, whatever you do for him," Sylvain said, keeping his voice quiet, "keep in mind that he's still healing."

"...yeah, I'll keep that in mind. Is cold a concern?"

"I don't think so... What did you have in mind?"

"I dunno, stargazing? I haven't settled on anything yet."

"He should be ok as long as he's not outside super, super late."

"Maybe sunset's better then."

"It sounds like you have something in mind. Felix and I can go hunting for a decent meal," he offered.

"I'm not going to do anything big, but we do need something to stretch our rations a bit."

"We should be ok to take our time tonight. I'll grab Felix and we'll go find something."

"Thanks, Sylvain. You're a good friend."

Kishi and Ashe were about done steeping the tea when Sylvain grabbed Felix and the two of them disappeared in the brush.

Xion came and sat down beside Kishi, asking him, "How are you feeling?"

"Better." He smiled at her and poured her some tea. She took the cup and kissed his cheek.

"Always good to hear."

He beamed at her.

"Where did Sylvain and Felix get to?"

"Hunting."

She took a sip of her tea and sighed, "Don't want our rations to run out before we get to the monastery."

"I probably should gather other food too then," Ashe offered. He got up.

"I can cook whatever you bring back." She scooted until she was behind Kishi and hugged him from behind. He grunted a little and put his hand over hers.

"Happy Birthday, Kishi."

"You remembered! I didn't even do that."

"Sorry I don't have a present."

"You're my present," he said gently and sipped at his drink.

"...are you gonna unwrap me?"

She peeked over his shoulder enough to give him a smirk. He spit out his tea and started coughing.

"Whoa, whoa, I'm joking, don't choke!"

He managed to stop coughing and took a few wheezing, painful breaths.

"So, I can't unwrap you?" Kishi asked mournfully.

"Maybe after you've got a clean bill of health. Not out here."

He almost choked again but managed to avoid hurting himself.

"Tonight we're just going to be able to snuggle a bit."

"I would like that very much," he told her softly as he resumed drinking his tea. She kissed his cheek in response.

It took the guys about an hour to secure food. They found a small antelope and Ashe had dug up a wide assortment of herbs and mushrooms. Xion got up to help skin and dress the meat.

"What part do you want to eat tonight?" she asked.

"With antelope we should stick with steaks or maybe put together a stew," Sylvain suggested.

"Skewers might be easier but stew means we can use the mushrooms," Xion thought aloud.

"I think I have a small pot in my pack," Ashe offered before moving to check his horse.

"We can do skewers too," Felix offered.

"Alright. Kishi, what sounds good to you?" Xion started rearranging the fire.

"I think both of those sound great," he said happily.

Xion finished with the fire, looked at Kishi, and put on a shit eating grin.

"Do you know why the painting went to jail?" she asked. All the boys looked at her in confusion.

"Why would a painting be put in jail in the first place?" Felix asked. Kishi’s eyes narrowed in suspicion.

" _ It was framed!" _

"I don't get it," Ashe said. Sylvain facepalmed.

"If you have to explain a joke it's not punny anymore but you frame paintings, and you can also frame someone for a crime," she explained.

"OH! That's very funny, Xion," Ashe said, laughing finally.

She smiled before looking at Kishi.

"And you said no one else liked puns."

"I stand corrected." He reached for some mushrooms to help cut them, but Sylvain slapped his hand.

"It's your birthday, you're not allowed to help, doctor’s orders," he said.

"Besides, it's kinda crowded at the fire right now. Even if you could help, there's not  _ mush room _ ."

That one made Kishi laugh albeit not very hard since it hurt his chest to do so. She smiled at his reaction before focusing on the meal prep. Ashe and Sylvain helped while Felix quickly checked the perimeter.

"I know it's not really what you guys had in mind, but thanks for sticking around for me," Kishi said, every word coming from the heart.

Xion came and sat next to him. Her part was mostly done anyway.

"I'm with you til the end of the line. We may not have tied the knot yet, but we're too tangled up for me to leave."

Ashe and Sylvain made overdramatic "awwww" noises but Kishi ignored them to kiss her turning their noises into "ewwws." She kissed him back before resting her head on his shoulder.

"Is this okay?" Xion asked the doctor.

"I guess I can allow it," Sylvain said.

Sitting by the fire, good food cooking, surrounded by friends out in the quiet wilds away from tall walls...

"This is perfect," Kishi mumbled, mostly to himself. He took Xion’s hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back.

"Also, Sylvain? I don't ever want to hear you complaining about me kissing my fiancé when I've seen your tongue down at least six girls' throats," she scolded.

"It's been more than six," he said defensively.

"Six that I have personally seen. Either way. Stop complaining." Xion kissed the tip of Kishi's nose. Kishi suppressed a giggle and stood up for Sylvain.

"It's different when it's a close friend and his girlfriend."

"I don't hear Felix giving a shit," she countered.

"Felix has always been good at respecting other people's privacy," Ashe said as he poured more tea.

"That's fair." Xion retrieved a cup for Kishi. He gratefully sipped it. The evening was starting to get chilly, the sun dipping below the horizon. She wrapped him in a hug from behind again while they waited for the food to cook.

"Do you guys want us to set up the tent for you?" Sylvain asked slyly.

"We've kept our clothes on pretty tightly, Sylvain," grumbled Xion.

"Wait... Have you seen each other naked at all?"

"No."  _ Shirtless once _ , she thought.

He was completely blown away.

"And you're getting married???"

"...yeah?"

"And that doesn't worry you?? I mean Kishi could be missing stuff down there!"

"Hey! You've seen me naked; you know I'm perfectly fine," Kishi protested. He was bright red.

"Have you considered... that's not why I want to get married? That's just a bonus," Xion reassured him.

Sylvain looked like he was having an aneurysm.

"Healthy sex is important in a marriage! What if you tie the knot and aren't compatible??"

"Ok, Sylvain, I'm going to stop you right there. This isn't any of your business," Kishi said, still very flustered. Xion got up to flip the skewers.

"At least  _ you _ strip down Kishi. Xion should know what she's getting into."

"W-What? Here???"

"All of us have seen you naked. What's the big deal??"

"We're in the middle of the woods!"

"That didn't matter when we were camping! Here I'll help."

"Ack! Sylvain! Go back to the other side of the fire!"

She whipped around, brandishing the fire stick like a lance.

"Sylvain, cut it out! I saw him shirtless once and liked what I saw, I'm sure the rest matches."

He put both his hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"What did Sylvain do this time?" Felix asked, emerging from the bushes.

"He's trying to get Kishi’s pants off," Ashe explained simply.

"Again?"

" _ Again?" _ Xion growled.

"Teenage boys," Felix and Ashe both said at the same time, as though that was enough explanation, while both Sylvain and Kishi flustered through trying to get them to hush.

"Don't think I want to know, then." Xion kept the stick when she went back. There was a wave of relief from the two more adventurous boys as they lay back in the grass. 

Felix leaned over the stew to smell it.

"Smells good."

"We don't have any bowls, do we?" she asked.

"All of us keep mess kits," Ashe said.

"...ah. Yeah. Totally." Xion thought back to when she'd last seen hers and drew a blank.

"We can share," Kishi said as he sat back up.

"Thanks, Love." She took his hand again.

Felix took over stirring the stew. He sampled it and then sent Ashe for the mess kits. He found all the boys' kits and brought them back to hand out while Felix moved the stew off the fire. The skewers could come off soon too. Xion had opted for five smaller skewers so they could smoke the leftover meat overnight.

Kishi gratefully accepted his bowl and offered it to Xion first. She took a bite before passing it back.

"It's good, Felix and Ashe."

They fist bumped between bites. Kishi gratefully helped himself to his stew.

"I'm so glad you guys cook better than me," he mused in response.

"Too bad we don't have flour and eggs out here, huh?" Xion grumbled but Kishi didn’t mind.

"Xion, this is wonderful. Best birthday I've ever had."

"Being on the run from an army of the undead after nearly dying yourself seems like a weird best birthday ever," said Felix.

"I have my three best friends, the love of my life, incredible food and good tea. It's not too cold, not too hot and there's no immediate danger. Seems pretty perfect to me."

"Glad we got to share it with you then but you're definitely getting something big next year, okay?" she promised.

"Only if I get to spoil you too."

When he was done eating, he helped Ashe unload some of the furs. There wasn't any risk of rain and while it was cold, it wasn’t cold enough to warrant a shelter if they slept close to the embers. One fur to sleep on was usually enough and then one to cover up with.

"You can spoil me on my birthday. Can we double up tonight?" Xion asked Kishi.

"Absolutely." He was already settling in, a little worried that he might have overdone it today. His chest hurt and his breathing was a little labored.

Xion rolled up one of her furs to serve as a sort of pillow and draped the other over the top before sliding in beside him.

Kishi still had to stay on his back. It wasn’t the most comfortable, but he did what he had to. He put one around her to pull her in close to his side.

"Sleep well, Xion. You guys too."

There were grumbled well wishes and happy birthdays thrown his way from the other sleepy piles and Ashe, who was taking first watch.

* * *

10/17 - The Great Bridge of Myrddin Part 2

There had been no sign of Nemesis and the small crew were moving a lot faster now. Kishi was able to keep up on foot but still had to take a lot of breaks and Sylvain was nervous to put him on a horse in case he was thrown. The monastery was only a few days away which meant they were coming up on the Great Bridge that connected the former Alliance and Empire. They wouldn't have to cross it, thankfully, but the road went past there.

Smoke was rising in the distance from the south and the more they advanced, the closer the fires were. Xion eyed the smoke nervously.

"Do you think they got ahead of us?" she wondered aloud.

"If they did, we won't be able to get back to the monastery in time..."

"Kishi, you've flown before. You could ride Aster."

He wrinkled his nose uncomfortably.

"I would really, really, really prefer to not fly," he admitted.

"I'm not sure we can just keep walking, though."

"Xion, can you fly ahead and see how close we are to being cut off?" Felix asked.

"Yeah, I can do that." She mounted up and took off.

The army was barely getting to the bridge. At everyone's current pace, both groups would reach the fork in the road at the same time. She turned around once she'd spotted them and reported.

"We need to get going faster."

They picked up the pace but Kishi was starting to ache. He did his best to pretend it was fine.

"Are we sure we want to be in front of the army?" Ashe asked, "Maybe it would be best to be behind them."

"...we might be able to stay hidden, but they'll absolutely reach Garreg Mach before we do," Xion confirmed.

"We can beat them," Kishi wheezed. Sylvain and Felix exchanged looks.

"Ok, Kishi, here, take a sword in case we have to turn and fight." Felix offered a sword and Kishi stared at it. He hesitated to reach for it with his hands shaking so much. There was no way he'd be able to hold it.

"We can't just burn the Great Bridge of Myrddin."

"We can't out run them either," Ashe lamented.

"Then we stay behind," Sylvain said, "we follow them and when they attack the monastery, we'll hit them from behind."

"That's just a few days away..." Xion pointed out. There was no way Kishi would be in fighting shape by then.

"I agree. If we try to outrun them, we'll be overtaken and killed," Felix said, putting the sword away. "Leave me," Kishi said, "You guys can make it if you leave me."

"Fly with me," Xion insisted. Sylvain was uneasy with that.

"Maybe if we tied him in..." he wondered aloud.

"Wyverns don't throw. If they do, they aren't allowed to be ridden."

"It's not the throwing I'm worried about. It's the jerking around and moments of weightlessness that come with flying."

"Then we all stay behind," she said.

"I will be fine on my own for a few days," Kishi insisted.

"Even at full speed, the army will stay on our tail and there's no villages between here and there that they're going to stop at now. They don't stop to sleep. We'll reach the monastery exhausted and unable to properly defend it."

"Then we stay behind them and keep our own pace," Felix insisted.

Sylvain nodded and said, "We might be late to the party, but we'll at least be able to help."

"Ashe? What are your thoughts?" Xion asked.

"...We should stay behind."

Xion looked to Kishi.

"What?" he asked.

"Are you okay with that?"

"No, but I already know I'm going to get outvoted."

"We should still listen to everyone. What flaws do you see in it?" Xion asked.

"I still think you guys should leave me behind. You four could easily make it to the monastery to help them defend it."

"...we could also try to mix in with the rear of the army as they pass us. It will let us gather more information to use in the fight, but that's probably the most dangerous option and I don't think all of us could pull it off," she kept thinking out loud.

"None of us are dead," Felix said.

"Kishi might be able to pass as dead," Ashe offered.

"Roll in the mud for a bit and no one could tell the difference visually but it's not just visuals, it's body language and actions. We wouldn't be able to talk to each other in there. We can also just...send one person ahead to warn the monastery," Xion suggested.

"With the scouts in the area, I have no doubt the Knights of Seiros know," Felix assured them.

"Then there's no reason to rush ahead. A pincer attack is the sounder option."

They started creeping forward again, moving into the trees near the fork in the road to hide while the army started to pass in front of them. Nemesis was leading himself and the army seemed to have doubled in size since the last time they checked up on him.

Xion was literally up in a tree. She was counting the numbers of each kind of weapon she saw, trying to figure out how to best match up against them.

The push had put a lot of pressure on Kishi and he was taking shallow breaths, focusing on staying quiet over getting the right amount of air. He had to sit on the ground, back to a tree.

Once the army had actually passed, Xion dropped down and made her way back to the group.

"They're clear."

"How much distance do we need to leave between ourselves in the army?" Ashe asked.

"Not much if we want to keep up," she reported.

"We just have to watch for scouts," Sylvain reminded.

"Yeah. They're more likely to send scouts ahead but we should still be vigilant," Ashe added.

"Alright, let them move on ahead," Felix said. Sylvain knelt down beside Kishi.

"You doing ok?"

"Yeah, yeah," Kishi said with a strained voice.

Xion came to sit by him, asking, "Are you sure? You don't sound good."

"Chest just aches a bit. I'll be ok."

"Ashe, go ahead and tail them a bit closer, we will catch up," Sylvain offered. Ashe left quickly.

Xion placed a hand on Kishi’s shoulder. He nodded at her politely and then pulled himself to his feet.

"Come on, we won't be great back up if they finish the fight before we even get there," Kishi insisted.

"Maybe one of us can give you a piggyback. Or something."

"I like that my pride is still intact for now," he half joked.

"What can we do to make it easier, then?" she asked softly.

"Xion, I'm fine.”

"Come on," Felix said as gently as a Felix could. Sylvain and Kishi followed him out onto the road. She sighed and followed with Aster. 

* * *

10/19 - Fodlan’s New Dawn

Ashe ran back to them when the army ahead had started to slow down. They had been following the army for a couple days now, slowly falling further behind.

"It looks like they're stopping," he told them.

"We're not quite to the monastery yet," Sylvain thought out loud, "It's still a half a day away."

"The Knights of Seiros might be meeting him out here," Felix reasoned, "I don't think they'd want to fight in the monastery proper if they had a choice."

"...if that's the case, what do the five of us do?" Xion asked.

"We can come up from behind when the fighting starts," Kishi offered.

"We'll have to be careful... it looks like the fighting is going be in that old swamp."

Xion bit her lip and thought aloud, "With five of us it's also going to be difficult cut off from the main body of the Kingdom army.”

"Then we'll just have to fight our way through to them," Kishi told her.

"Can you fight?" she asked.

"Do I have a choice?"

"That's...then what's the safest way?" She looked down and scratched her arm.

"We'll figure that out," Sylvain told her, "You and Felix find the best place for us to approach from."

Xion looked to Felix before nodding and mounting up. She kept Aster low, not wanting to call attention to them.

Felix started moving through the brush carefully, leaving the others behind to figure out the best option for Kishi. After a bit, he used a mirror to get Xion’s attention, waving her over.

She went up to him, asking, "Found something?"

"The path splits here and one fork goes down into the canyon. There are walkways up the side of the cliff that come up right beside the swamp. We can go up there."

"Can the horses make it?"

"We can ask Kishi. The alternative is coming up right behind them," Felix grumbled.

"Let's go this way, then. Hop on, we'll save time heading back if you're not on foot."

He nodded and hopped on. Xion flew them back to the group, again, staying low to the ground.

Kishi was strapping onto Ashe's Bow Knight horse. Ashe was helping him adjust while Sylvain was getting his Dark Knight armor squared away.

"We found a way in the side. What's the strategy here?" she asked as Felix hopped down.

"Xion, Kishi is going to back you up," Sylvain said.

The thought was both relieving and stressful. She could keep an eye on him, keep him safe, but she sacrificed a lot of mobility to do so.

"What weapon will you be using, Kishi?"

"Bow," he said simply as he waxed the bowstring of the spare Steel Bow that Ashe had. Ashe had taken up the sniper role again, which was honestly more comfortable for him.

She landed beside him.

"I'm going to rely on you to keep other archers away because I won't be able to just fly out of range." Not that she'd been super good at that in the past.

"Can you do that?" she asked.

He gave her a slightly annoyed look.

"I know how to fight."

"...sorry. When are we going to be ready to move out?"

He realized immediately that he had been snappy, and he leaned over and reached out to grab her hand. It was shaking badly.

"I'm sorry, Xion. I promise, I'll do everything I can to protect you."

"So will I, and I trust you to always have my back."

She squeezed his hand before letting go and asked, "Are you ready?"

He nodded but the truth was he was scared. The last time they fought, really fought, it hadn't gone well.

"Come on, the fighting will have already started," Felix ordered. Xion turned Aster around.

"We're ready."

Kishi focused on stealing himself as they started moving out, following Felix to the route up the canyon wall. It was not a comfortable route and the two horses balked at first but Kishi had Ashe wrap a scarf around the horses' faces so they couldn't see the drop.

Needless to say it was much easier on Xion. Aster didn't need to use the walkways. She stopped just shy of the top of the plateau.

By the time they got to the top, the battle above was in full swing, the other Lions and the Knights were doing their best and were making some progress clearing out the little enemies but it was becoming clearer that Nemesis was protecting himself with magic tied to his generals: the resurrected Saints.

"Where are we heading, Kishi? North or South?" Xion asked. She didn't want to enter the swamp proper. The swamp was toxic and the horses could tell, they didn't want to go that way at all.

To the South were the Professor and their class so he motioned North.

"Let's take out who we can," he suggested. Aster veered North and Xion prepped her short axe.

Kishi was already taking shots at a soldier that had broken off to attack them. She chased the soldier with the axe but he went down before she got there. His buddy rushed her instead, so she threw the axe before circling back to Kishi.

Kishi was running along the top of the wooden bridge. There was a Fortress Knight waiting there. His arrows bounced harmlessly off of its dense armor.

"Let Sylvain get him!" Xion ordered. Sylvain was a little behind, but he shot fire over Kishi and the Fortress Knight tumbled to its death.

Up ahead was a trio of enemies, the center of which was elegantly dressed in Gremory robes. The crest of Lamine was prominent in the design and for a dark moment Kishi suspected this was Lamine herself.

Sylvain turned to fight but froze when he saw a Great Knight running along the higher platform, waiting for him. Gautier's crest and colors were impossible to mistake. This was undoubtedly Sylvain’s ancestor reborn.

A massive Wyvern decked out in the colors and heavy armor of Lord Dominic turned and barred down on Xion. She turned to meet him. Xion knew she didn't handle magic very well and the Great Knight would be easier to take down with magic which meant Sylvain was on his own with Gautier. This other Wyvern was hers.

Gautier vanished for a moment, the Great Knight had turned and run to the ramp allowing for access to the lower level they were on. Sylvain was still frozen in shock at seeing his ancestor rushing him with a Dark Lance of Ruin.

Kishi couldn't focus on Lamine right now. He forced the horse past Sylvain to block the charge. Atlas' absence was very missed now. The Dark Lance of Ruin barely missed Kishi who grabbed onto it, to hold the significantly larger man in place.

"Sylvain! Snap out of it! Kill him!" Kishi yelled. The redhead stared with wide eyes for a second before shaking his head and launching spells at the heavily armored unit.

Meanwhile, Dominic's Dark Crusher came swinging in wide as his Wyvern expertly dove under Aster to give its master a clean shot. Aster roared and Xion screamed when the attack connected, and the Wyvern dropped to the platform. Her left wing and Xion's knee were wrenched out of position, leaving them in a dangerous position where Xion couldn't dismount nor could they take off and they still had to deal with the gremory.

Xion threw the short axe at Dominic again, hoping to at least slow him down but he veered up and away, circling around and dodging the weapon.

Kishi heard Xion scream and immediately turned to find her. The horse under him was skittish and twisted as well, allowing Gautier, armor still steaming from the magic, to push him back against Sylvain's horse. They were at risk of being trampled and with Xion on the ground behind them...

Sylvain hit Gautier with another blow and Kishi did his best to shove him back. The Great Knight Gautier missed a step and the horse slipped, falling into the canyon.

Kishi fought to control his horse, getting Sylvain a little more space before he turned to shoot at Dominic, keeping the Wyvern Lord at a distance.

Aster wasn't listening anymore. She was just screaming. The Wyvern didn't jump off the platform at least. Xion hurled her axe at Lamine. The enemy Gremory hadn't done anything, but she hadn't taken any hits yet either and probably had the ability to keep Dominic healed. Lamine dodged the thrown axe.

Sylvain pushed his horse up close to Xion and used a Mend spell on Aster.

"Th-thanks." Xion was breathing hard but once Aster had her wings again, she took off. Xion changed to a steel axe to attack Lamine again.

Kishi was trying very hard to keep Dominic at bay while Sylvain and Xion pushed Lamine but the zombie man was  _ fast _ and Kishi was only a temporary Bow Knight. The Wyvern Lord looped back around and the Wyvern itself attacked Aster with its claws.

Their group was tired, and their mounts were no exception. Xion turned her axe up to counterattack. The Wyvern was moments from hitting Xion when Kishi managed to sink a solid blow under its wing, throwing it off kilter allowing Xion's axe to slice clean through the Wyvern's wing and it went tumbling off the edge of the cliff.

_ That just leaves Lamine.. _ .Xion thought. She flew into the canyon a bit to let Sylvain ahead of her. He at least had better defenses against magic and she still couldn't dismount.

Kishi was worried about Xion. He was distracted, focusing on her for a bit while Sylvain pulled away and where were Felix and Ashe? He looked around for them too, but it was hard to see what was going on from this lower platform.

"Sylvain!" Kishi yelled, "Heal Xion!" The red-head scrambled to send a heal Xion's way.

Kishi shoved past Sylvain before he could argue brandishing his bow to attack Lamine. Kishi had almost no resistance. The animal under him had some but Kishi knew he couldn't take a solid hit... but then again, neither could she.

He felt something tear in his chest as he pulled the bow back further than he had been. The arrow launched and hit Lamine square in the chest. She fell back with a gurgle and her guards moved in, a Fortress Knight and Swordmaster.

It wasn't 100% better. Xion wasn't sure if she could walk on the partially healed leg but she should at least be able to dismount. Xion's Crest flashed as she attacked the Swordmaster, swooping in to protect Kishi.

Sylvain turned to take out the Fortress Knight, clearing the way for them to get up and off the platform. Both horses surged out and onto dry land... well, dryish land. They were surrounded by poisonous muck but at least it was easier to track the battle.

The Knights of Seiros were pushing up the other bank creating a pincer with them on Nemesis himself. The mad general was still a little way away, but there were very few additional enemies between them and him.

Kishi could taste blood on his breath. He was pushing himself too hard, but it was fine, he reasoned, as long as he could protect Xion. He knew she was hurting too. It wouldn't do for him to retreat and leave her to fight alone.

Xion tried to direct Kishi and Sylvain to dry ground. She may not have to deal with the water, but it was clearly doing bad things to those who did.

"Can we make it to the army? Or do we wait?" she asked.

"If it's safe to move up, we should," Sylvain said.

She turned Aster, wondering, "Where did Ashe and Felix go?"

Kishi shook his head and Sylvain shrugged.

"They might have gone to try and regroup with the others so they know we're here."

"... alright. Let's try to catch up then."

The trio slowly made their way towards Nemesis. They moved farther north, baiting out a few of the soldiers around Nemesis. An Assassin turned and rushed at them, dancing over the toxic swamp.

Xion took the lead on the attack. Kishi was still shooting around Xion and Sylvain. His shots were a lot weaker now and he had to be closer, but his accuracy was still fine.

They were further along than the others. It looked like Felix had managed to regroup with Dimitri and the Professor. They were leading the rest of the army. A Falcon Knight near Nemesis broke away to fly at Felix while a Bow Knight turned and raced at Xion.

Xion saw the bow and circled around behind Sylvain. She knew it wouldn't keep her safe but at least she was a little farther away from the deadly arrows.

Riegan was smart nonetheless. The undead archer knew that he could have the easy kill if he went for Xion. The Bow Knight pushed Kishi and Sylvain to get the clear shot at the Wyvern. Kishi's eyes traced the shot and he didn't think, just acted. He ran his horse into Riegan, but not before a bolt from Failnaught, the hero’s relic, raced towards Xion.

Xion took the shot just above her right collar bone. It hurt and would probably bleed a lot, but it didn't puncture anything vital. She threw her short axe again. Sylvain threw a couple spells on the tail of her axe. Kishi scrambled to get clear and Riegan went down.

This close to Nemesis it was clear that killing the general had an effect on the big boss man himself. A shimmery shield shattered, leaving Nemesis vulnerable. Kishi watched the Professor move in and knew he didn't have to worry about the fight anymore. He pushed the horse towards Xion, worried.

Aster landed on a dry patch and Xion nearly laid down in her saddle.

Kishi threw himself from the horse and bit his tongue to keep from coughing. His chest felt like it was on fire, it was impossibly hard to breath without feeling the bubbly, gurgling of liquid in his lungs but he didn't care, he raced to Xion's side and grabbed Aster's harness, urging the Wyvern to lay down so he could pull Xion off. The Wyvern was still very unnerved from the fight and tried to rear up before settling down. Xion pushed herself back into a seated position.

"I'm—I'm gonna be okay. Just resting a moment," she reassured him.

He still grabbed her around her waist and pulled her down. Kishi very carefully lowered her to sit on the ground with the weight on her better leg.

"Sylvain! Get over here  _ now _ !" Sylvain hurried over and dismounted, tenderly pushing on the skin around where the arrow had pierced. It wasn't bleeding much yet. The arrow was stemming the blood flow, but he knew removing it was going to hurt.

"I'll be fine, Kishi. I've had worse. Sylvain's gotta help others right now."

"Stop talking," Kishi ordered but his voice was gentle and had a rolling affect. He coughed a bit and fought the urge to heave, swallowing any blood he tasted.

Sylvain delicately broke the arrow and said, "This is going to hurt. Count of three ok?" Kishi's grip around her middle tightened a little bit. Xion pulled her shirt out a little and bit it. Sylvain started counting, yanking the arrow out at two instead of three. He quickly put a hand over the wound and started focusing on healing it.

She pitched forward when it got pulled. The shirt served two purposes—keeping her from breaking her teeth and muffling the cry.

Kishi felt her tense up and held her tighter, kissing the top of her head and rocking a little bit. He was getting dizzy, but he didn't care, she was all that mattered to him.

"Alright, that should be fine," Sylvain said, "Try not to move your arm or leg too much, they'll both be pretty stiff for a little bit until they can finish healing."

She shook for a minute before starting to relax.

"O-okay... Kishi, are you okay?"

Sylvain looked at Kishi expectantly but Kishi just nodded. He loosened his grip on Xion so she could relax better without him holding her at an awkward angle.

"Alright, I'll go help the others," Sylvain said before getting up and running off. She turned over after a few more minutes and hugged him with her good arm. He hugged her back weakly and leaned into her with a heavy, wet sigh.

"It's over... it has to be," he said, keeping his face away from her.

"I said the first thing I'd do is kiss you."

He buried his face in the side of her neck and ran his fingers through her hair.

"You don't sound good..." she commented.

His breathing  _ was _ labored and every breath brought more blood up to his mouth, but he was just so relieved that she was ok, that they made it to the end. For a brief moment he imagined the irony of finally finding something worth living for and then succumbing to his injuries, but he chuckled it off and just pet her hair and back.

"I could use a bath," he admitted.

"You aren't breathing well. Let me call Sylvain. Or Mercedes."

"Xion, don't." He found her hand and held it gently.

"I just need to rest... in our bed if that's possible," he reassured her.

"I can't get you there..." She squeezed his hand.

"That's ok," he said gently, "I'll just nap here for a second and then we can go together."

He leaned into her, slowly relaxing. It felt like so much had happened in one morning. There were splashing sounds of footsteps running towards them as Dimitri and the Professor caught up to greet them.

"Xion! Sylvain told us you and Kishi were still over here," the King said as they ran up. Xion looked up at Dimitri.

"Sorry we couldn't catch up completely."

"You came to our aid even after a long journey, and with very little rest no less. It was noble and we are eternally grateful... Is Kishi alright?" he asked. Kishi was very unconscious and drooling blood all over her shoulder in his sleep.

"No...he wouldn't let me get help." She looked over at him again and the panic started setting in as she realized how bad it was.

"Kishi?!"

Byleth went down to one knee and put a hand on his back, focusing on a Recover spell that seemed to be helping. His breathing seemed less labored and his sleeping a little more restful.

"Come, Xion, we will make sure you and he get the proper care up at the monastery. Are you able to walk?"

When his breathing evened out she let out a breath. It took her a minute to refocus on the King.

"No. Sylvain said no."

Dimitri turned around and waved briefly to get Dedue's attention. The Duscur man ran over and took stock of the situation.

"Dedue, carry Kishi back to the monastery," Dimitri ordered with a gentle tone. Then the King bent down to grab Xion, scooping her up in a bridal carry. Byleth helped Kishi onto Dedue's back and they headed off up the hill with the rest of the Lions, all in various states of well-being.

Xion didn't lie still, always twisting and trying to keep Kishi in sight. It wasn't quite lost on her that the King of Fódlan was carrying her, but she'd seen that king as both a beast and a classmate and a title didn't change that. That was something Kishi would absolutely hate to hear.

It was a relatively short walk to the monastery, only about 20 minutes, and Dedue and Dimitri took Xion and Kishi to the Reception Hall. It had been converted into a temporary hospital after their fight in Shamballa, with beds lining both walls. They put the both of them next to each other on the North end. 

"It is not very private," Dimitri said, "but hopefully you will not have to stay here very long."

"We'll be fine. Thank you for your help." She looked up at the King.

He gave her a reassuring smile and left, stopping at the door and motioning at Xion and Kishi. He had things to attend to, but they would need food.

Kishi was doing a lot better in an actual bed, even if it was on the floor. His breathing had mellowed out and while there was still blood on his breath it wasn't as strong as before. The Professor's healing magic was exceptionally strong.

Xion crawled across to him as soon as they were out of sight and curled up next to him.

Finally, the fighting was done, the war was over. Kishi had kept his promise and saw them both to the end. Fodlan and those who fought…all that was left was to heal and they could do that together. 


	24. Epilogue 1 - End of the War

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> 10/24 - Big Brother is Watching  
> 10/26 - Unexpected Road Trip  
> 11/2 - The Long Road Back

10/24 - Big Brother is Watching

Xion had spent the days dodging nurses who kept trying to get her back to her own bed. She'd been provided a crutch but had yet to use it and was drinking painkiller tea like water.

On this particular day, she was eyeing the crutch like she wanted to go somewhere but hadn't made up her mind yet. Her arm was healing faster than her leg and while she had some motion back, she didn't have a lot.

Kishi wasn't in much better shape. He was mobile at one point but, much to Sylvain's horror, had undone most of the healing from their extended journey home. His bones were ok, thanks to Rhea's fieldwork healing but his lungs and inner organs were still damaged, and he had pneumonia as a result.

It meant lots of tea, lots of bed rest, and daily visits from healers. After the last five years of fighting, Kishi wasn't complaining. At one point, Xion had just asked Sylvain to push her bed next to Kishi’s. The sleep was nice, Xion was there every time he woke up, and the tea was... ok, the tea was average, but it was tea.

He sipped at his tea gently. It was still hot. He was propped up with a few pillows for now, but the angle was still not great for drinking so he had to be extra careful.

Xion was sitting up properly and wide awake at the moment.

"...I want to dye my hair again, but I'm not sure if it's worth leaving you right now," she announced. He blinked a little and looked up at her.

"Xion, Starlight, it's fine. You should go enjoy the fresh air, dye your hair, a girls' day out even. I'll be fine here. Maybe a little bored but fine."

Kishi smiled and reached over to squeeze her hand briefly before tucking it back under the covers. The nurses had taken his armor off and put him in a short-sleeved shirt. It made him uncomfortable having his arms and scars exposed so he did his best to read, drink, eat, and anything else quickly or from under the covers.

"I won't be gone long and after you can mess with my hair all you want."

She kissed his cheek before grabbing the crutch and hobbling out. The moment she was out of eyeshot, a hand came down on Kishi's shoulder.

"Maaaaan, she's really attached to you huh?" Vanitas glared down and his voice got softer and somehow scarier. "You're going to keep your mouth shut for now, right?"

Kishi recognized the voice and his blood ran cold. He froze but his eyes darted around for a weapon that he might be able to utilize, and he clenched his fists under the blanket. Surely, Vanitas wouldn't try anything in a hall with several other witnesses? They were on the other side of the hall, but a scream would undoubtedly alert them.

" _ Do I need to repeat myself or do I have your attention? _ Nod if you understand me," Vanitas hissed.

Kishi turned his head slightly to glare at Vanitas out of the corner of his eye. For a stubborn, long, few seconds, he considered not saying anything but he knew that he couldn't fight or defend himself really and while he doubted Vanitas would actually kill him, Kishi wasn't willing to take the chance that the crazy monster killer wouldn't hurt him. Additional pain wasn't something he wanted so he nodded once.

"Good. You're really something, y'know? Aren't noble brats supposed to have more manners? You didn't ask  _ any _ of her family if it was okay to marry her." Vanitas moved his hand and sat cross legged on the floor.

Kishi felt a bead of nervous sweat run from his brow down to his jaw. He didn't really have a good answer for that, and he  _ did _ ask Xion if he was asking for trouble.

"She didn't mind that I didn't," he said with a testy tone.

" _ She _ might not but have you considered  _ we _ might? My family thinks she's dead. She might be home for maybe a week before you take her away and they haven't seen her in eleven years. You couldn't have waited?"

Kishi growled a little bit but he did feel guilty. The knot in his stomach turned over a little bit.

"It's not my fault she's kept distance. If I had my way, I'd move your entire family to Arianrhod."

"I bet she shut that down fast."

"She'll come around."

"Good luck with that, kid."

Kishi twitched a little in irritation and snapped, "Don't call me that."

"Do you like Little Brother better? Or maybe  _ grandpa _ ."

"I will never understand how someone as good as her could come from the same blood as someone like you."

"Me either. My twin's the biggest goody two shoes in the world. At least the triplets had a competitive streak. You could walk right over Ven and he'd still be smiling," Vanitas said as he stretched his arms, "Not asking our dad annoys me but I'm here because you made her cry again."

Kishi felt a jolt of alarm jump through his spine but he relaxed a little bit.

"You won't do anything to me. Hurting me hurts her now and as much as you don't like me, I know you love her."

Vanitas wasn't looking at Kishi anymore.

"She said she'd never been happier," he mumbled.

Kishi wanted to be snappy but the change in Vanitas' demeanor made him hesitate some and he looked down at the blankets instead. Despite the discomfort, Kishi made himself sit up and put his hands in his lap, over the top of the covers instead of hiding them under. It made him feel more vulnerable, but it also felt more honest.

"Vanitas, I know you're not her father, but you matter a lot to her, so I don't feel uncomfortable asking you... May I have your sister's hand in marriage? She'll never want for anything again," he promised.

Vanitas gave him a once-over, yellow eyes flashing through more emotions in a second than his voice ever did.

"You are absolutely still going to ask our dad when you meet him. I am not her father, so you still gotta do the official shit.

"Know that you will never know her as she was. Running through the streets of Enbarr, chasing Sora and Roxas' heels. Sketching puppies and learning to draw because it made Dad smile. Sticking her tongue out as she cut up cookies and learned to mix dyes for frosting. You will never see that. That is the girl that we lost.

"You know, and are gonna marry, someone different than my father will think he's given away but you'll know her better than any of us. I don't need to tell you who she is now. You already know. You know she doesn't care if you have anyone's permission. She doesn't care if she's provided for, as long as it's with you she'll be happy and that's enough for me."

Well, it's not like Kishi expected anything different. He sighed and leaned back again with a pained grunt. He knew he wouldn't win any argument with Vanitas and if he was going to marry Xion, that meant marrying into her family too, just as much as she was marrying into his.

"Then why  _ exactly _ did you come?" he finally asked, "Was it just to make sure I did things 'properly'?"

"And to scare you. Gotta make the right impression on my brother-in-law."

"Don't expect any invites to holiday parties," Kishi grumbled.

"I don't know what gave you the idea that I would ever go within ten miles of a nobleman's party except to collect a bounty."

"I'd bar you from the wedding, but I know she'll have my hide."

"I'll keep my mouth shut there, don't worry." He looked at the doors and his eyes softened for a moment.

"I could never find the right shade of hair dye," Vanitas said softly. Xion was hobbling down the hall, hair still mostly wet but black again.

"One advantage to wealth, there's nothing I can't find," Kishi said, smiling gently at her as she waddled back. He was happy that she was happy, no matter what color her hair was.

She waited until she was close enough to speak.

"Kishi is he bothering you?"

"Not even going to say hi. You've gotten so mean, Xion. I'm going to tell Ven," Vanitas threatened.

"He was just congratulating us on our engagement," he told her gently. He still didn't like the brother but he wouldn't do anything to hurt Xion's perceptions of him.

"Ex- _ cuse _ me I was threatening your fiancé since Dad will never be intimidating enough to hold up."

Xion punched Van's arm with her good one. "Ass."

Well, if he wanted to throw himself under the bus. It hurt but Kishi pushed himself to his feet, holding his chest a bit. He leaned over to kiss Xion's cheek.

"I need some air," he said quietly, "you should get Vanitas some tea."

Xion immediately dropped the irritation out of her voice and turned to Kishi.

"You doing okay?" she asked him. Vanitas made his exit while her back was turned.

"Yeah. I'm just sick of sitting all day. I'll be back." He gently rubbed his arm to reassure her and looked up, frowning when he saw that damn older brother of hers was gone.

"... alright. Come back when you're feeling better." She stood on one tiptoe to kiss his cheek. He gave her another smile and then shuffled out the door to sit in the courtyard for a bit while he thought about his next move.

* * *

10/26 - Unexpected Road Trip

It was only a couple days later that Kishi excused himself. Since Van had shown up, he had kept Xion at a distance, fearing any fallout should Xion's dad decline him. Kishi knew that if dad said no, he'd have to respect his wishes regardless. He would never make Xion choose between him and her family. It wasn't fair to anyone involved. He was short, polite, and unwilling to be affectionate.

It was early, still dark out, and his chest still hurt but he couldn't wait any longer. He hated this waiting and the longer he waited the more he pushed her away. He tightened the straps on the saddle of the random horse he was commandeering. He had packed enough provisions and medicine for a week but was going to try and make it to the remote village in three days. Riding at full speed during the day, sleeping at night... Kishi was sure he could make it.

Xion had been confused when he pulled away and hurt when he just vanished. She'd tried to ask questions that he just dodged. She suspected it had something to do with Van's visit but without proof she didn't say anything to him. She spent a lot of the days either on roofs or with Sylvain or Felix. Sometimes Mercedes and Ingrid as well.

By the time Kishi had gotten to the remote village in Fraldarius, he was tired, scruffy, and still sick. The tea was helping keep the infection at bay but without the persistent healing he was weaker, and the dull pain was more noticeable. He didn't care. It was nothing compared to the potential heartbreak waiting for him at the end of the road.

It was evening of the third day, and he had bags under his eyes and a sore butt. The horse was huffing and miserable waiting by the gate next to Kishi while he found the courage. He loosely tied the horse to the fence and let himself into the yard to go up to the door, but he was having a hard time bringing himself to knock.

When he finally did, a blonde man answered the door.

"I don't know your knock. What's your name and what are you ordering?"

Kishi took a deep breath. Blind... right, this was Roxas.

"Uh, I...I'm not ordering anything," he said softly, "I've traveled a long way to talk to, well, to your father."

"Still didn't get your name. Do you have a horse outside? I'll get them fed and watered, head into the door on the left." Roxas tapped a wall with a cane he'd kept behind the door before stepping around him and toward the horse.

"It's... Ki-" Oh right, he had a title now.

"Count Kishi Rowe... I'm just going to go see your father." He dipped inside before things could get uncomfortable. He wasn't liking how his name sounded with its title. He gently knocked on the door that Roxas had specified.

"Please, come in! I'm afraid we aren't very prepared for guests at the moment and we're in the middle of kneading tomorrow's dough, so we're not exactly clean, either." That voice was just like Roxas'.

Kishi opened the door and stepped inside, doing his best to look regal despite the dust from travel clinging to him. It smelled good and was homey. It was hard to not feel warm looking at them work.

A man who could have been Roxas' identical twin was elbow deep in flour as was the man next to him. The other man was also a spiky blond, though he was going mostly silver now. He wiped his hands on his apron and turned when he heard the door open. He had the same yellow eyes as Vanitas, but they were softer and he had laugh lines. He wasn't particularly skinny, but he wasn't quite fat.

"Ludwig Baker. How can I help you, young lad?"

Kishi offered a hand.

"Margrave Kishi Rowe, Lord of Arianrhod. It's an honor to meet you, sir."

Ludwig's eyes widened for a second. Then he smiled again and bowed.

"My apologies, Lord Rowe. It has been awhile since I've served the ruling class. How might I serve you?"

Kishi waved a hand.

"Please, there's no need to bow. I have traveled from Garreg Mach Monastery in the hopes that I might present a promise of a dowry in exchange for your blessing in marrying your daughter." The second the words were out of his mouth Kishi remembered that the last time he talked to Xion about this, her family assumed she was dead. Maybe Vanitas had told them in anticipation of Kishi's arrival... Or the ass just dumped an uncomfortable discussion on his brother-in-law to be.

A flash of something else crossed Ludwig’s face and the other man stopped kneading behind him.

"I'm... I'm sorry, you must have the wrong house. The only daughter I've had passed away in a fire more than ten years ago."

Kishi took a deep breath. So Vanitas was an asshole after all.

"No, sir, I don't."

"Then perhaps someone gave you the wrong address? If you have the young lady's name, I may be able to help you find the correct one." Roxas came into the kitchen and hugged the wall as he made his way around the table.

Kishi took another deep breath. He felt light-headed. Maybe it was the warmth in the room, the exhaustion, his tight chest, the excitement, or any combination of those but he was feeling very sick.

"Xion. Xion Baker. I know this is her family. She's told me a lot about you."

"Lord Rowe, I don't know how you met my daughter, or when, but she's gone to the Goddess."

This was not what he expected. Kishi rubbed his face. He was too tired for this, but he couldn't just pretend he got a blessing and her dad wasn't going to give one for a daughter he believed to be dead.

"Short of bringing her here to you," Kishi started, "How can I best assure you that she is alive and well?"

Roxas piped up, "Why is it so hard for you to believe, Dad? I'm here, aren't I?"

He turned to Kishi to ask, "What's she like? I don't remember her and my dad doesn't like to talk about her."

Ludwig looked at his youngest son for a moment. Finding out one child had survived the fire already seemed like a miracle. He had not asked the Goddess for a second. Most people didn't get a first.

Kishi was a little surprised to hear someone else chime in. He opened his mouth to tell them about her but remembered what Vanitas had said. The Xion he knew, wasn't the same one that they lost. He studied Roxas for a bit trying to find the right words, the right precious memories that might convince them, but he knew he couldn't. Kishi would have to return with her.

"Forgive me, I may have the wrong home after all," he said sadly, doing his best to mask his pain, "If you've an extra stall, I can pay in exchange for your hospitality. It was a long journey here and will be a long journey yet. My horse needs rest and I am still recovering from an injury. Any shelter would go a long way."

Ventus had stayed quiet up until now, "We have an extra bed. It was supposed to be Sora's. You don't have to sleep in a stall, and we get by well enough, we don't need your money, sir."

"I would be a poor guest if I didn't offer something in return," Kishi insisted, "Perhaps you have some household chores that I could do. I am good with my hands and able to repair near anything."

"Then we need help packing. We're planning on moving back to Enbarr soon." Roxas knew Ven wouldn't accept anything so he interjected.

Kishi nodded, grateful for the work.

"Show me where I can help, and I will begin."

"Follow me." Roxas headed back into the hallway. He didn't need his cane inside the house.

Kishi did so. He was bummed. The entire trip felt like a waste. This was his hopeful family to be. If they didn't even believe she was alive would they even attend her wedding? Did she even want them there? He was only here because Vanitas would probably cut off a couple toes if he hadn't but was this even worth it? He was stressing himself out and had to stop and lean against the wall for a second to try and get his heart rate down. His lungs were trying too hard and he felt dizzy again.

"What's she like? I don't buy that you're at the wrong house. My dad just needs some time before he realizes it," Roxas was saying. He cocked his head and listened to Kishi’s breathing.

"You're tired. Come sit down first," he offered.

Some noble he was, nearly collapsing. Kishi followed Roxas, straining some to talk about her.

"She's the most important person in the world," he said gently and with fondness in his aching voice, "She's smart and strong but sensitive too. Never where people can see but she finds time for the important things. We fight together and after every battle she makes flower crowns for those who fell. She loves to swim even if it's in places she probably shouldn't and is so impossibly good with her Wyvern. I've never known a Wyvern to love its rider as much as Aster loves Xion. I wouldn't be alive if she hadn't saved me." He paused a second to catch his breath. This hallway felt like it went on forever...

"She doesn't put up with any bullshit either. I don't know what she'd say if she knew I was here." Kishi missed her.

Roxas helped him to Sora's bed in the next room.

"My sister got to be a knight? A Wyvern Rider? She sounds like a great person and you sound like you're head over heels for her."

He felt awful needing help from the blind brother but he was starting to get that bitter taste that preceded blood on his breath and he didn't want to undo another week of healing so he gratefully settled into the bed.

"Wyvern Lord," Kishi politely corrected, "we may have lost the war if it wasn't for her. She was an expert spy for years serving the Kingdom and was in the fight that ended Edelgard’s reign and later when we fought..." -Hadn't Roxas also lost his memory? Kishi furrowed his brow a little as he caught himself- "...other villains. I hope you get a chance to know her again. She is my everything. There's no sun or stars without her."

"You sound just like your brother."

Kishi bolted upright and yelped in pain but shrugged it off to grab at Roxas' hand.

"My brother? You know him? He was here?"

"Not here. We moved to Rowe territory first for about a year. We moved again just after the war started but I met him a few times that year. The few times he followed Sora home. Sora made me promise not to tell our dad or older brothers when they ran away. The war made it dangerous for both of them. Riku for his political value and Sora for his use as a hostage. So, they went to Dagda. Riku was already thinking of leaving, though. Your title requires kids and his parents were adamant about that. ...your parents too, I guess," Roxas reported.

Kishi slumped a little. Riku hadn't told him any of that. It was nice to know Riku was ok but... Damn, it hurt hearing this from someone else. His chest was aching again. He clutched at it a bit, twisting his fingers in the fabric as best he could.

"Thank you for telling me," Kishi said softly as he pulled his hand back.

"You talk about Xion the same way he and Sora talked about each other."

"Then my brother must have truly been in love."

"They were. You came to ask to marry her, right? Is she happy?" Roxas asked.

"I hope so," he told Roxas, "I imagine she's not happy that I left but overall, I think so."

Kishi’s thoughts drifted to his brother. Did Riku know that by leaving he was giving Kishi all the things he ran away from? All the responsibility and pressure... Kishi had been raised to be a knight serving his House, not the head of it. He didn't even realize that kids would be expected. What if Xion wasn't ok with that? He was starting to worry about his now seemingly fragile relationship.

"Then I don't think that my dad will say no to you. He's only ever wanted us to be happy," Roxas reassured him.

"Would I be overstepping my bounds to bring her here?"

Roxas gestured to the boxes around the room.

"We probably won't be here much longer, but I know my Dad's planning on making a pilgrimage to Garreg Mach on the way. We've never been, and he always says he has a lot to be thankful for."

Then a meeting would be inevitable as long as Kishi didn't take her to Arianrhod. He would have to get to his people sooner than that though.

"I will make sure she's at Garreg Mach," Kishi said firmly.

"Thank you. For coming to see us."

Kishi leaned back to rest, saying, "The honor is mine."

Roxas started rearranging some of the crates and boxes, feeling the contents carefully as he went.

"How did you meet her?" the blonde asked. Kishi didn't even have to think about it.

"She was sitting out in the rain. I remember thinking this weird girl was going to get sick, so I went and convinced her to come inside and she invited herself to eat lunch with me."

Roxas smiled and said, "Apparently the three of us never got sick."

"That's what she told me," he said with a smile at the memory, "I fell in love with her long before she considered the possibility of loving me."

"When did you know?"

It was hard to pin it down. There wasn't a love at first sight moment. Kishi never woke up just knowing. The moment he knew he was in love was different from when he probably started to realize he wanted to be with her.

"I  _ knew _ when I got a letter from my father, declaring my betrothal to someone else."

"You're a noble, how'd you get out of that?"

"The war changed a lot of fates," Kishi said simply.

"...yeah, I guess it did."

_ I wasn't even a noble for most of the war, _ Kishi thought. He scratched at his arms subconsciously. A year ago, Kishi would've expected to have killed himself by now. This was such uncharted territory.

"Roxas, Xion said you wanted to be a knight. Is that still true?"

"I'm blind, Lord Rowe. How could I be a knight?"

"Is it still true?"

"...yeah. I want to protect people. ...why do you ask?"

"I was curious," he said gently. No sense getting the guy's hopes up, but Kishi could feel the strength there.

"Roxas, I'm going to marry your sister, with or without your father's blessing, so long as she still wants that. That will make you my brother and I, yours. If you want to pursue your dream, you should continue to pursue it. I would be honored to help you."

"You'll get my dad's blessing. It's probably Vanitas you'll have to watch out for," Roxas sighed and tilted his head up, "I know you mean well by offering, but unless you find use for a blind knight I'll never get taken on. I'm also already twenty-three, I don't have the years of training most knights do. Even knowing that, you think it's possible?"

Kishi wrinkled his nose at the thought of Vanitas but decided against addressing it.

"I guess that depends on you. It doesn't matter what I believe if you believe it."

"I want to protect people, however I can. If you're offering, I'll find a way to learn."

He had to resist the urge to reach out and pet the kid the way he used to ruffle Xion's hair. Kishi felt a throbbing pain in his chest and grunted a little in pain.

"Forgive me, I must rest."

"... alright. Thanks for telling me about her."

"I hope you get to know her as I do someday."

Roxas got up and closed the curtains.

It didn't take long for Kishi to fall asleep.

* * *

11/2 - The Long Road Back

Kishi hadn't realized how tired he was. He didn't wake up until the smell of baking bread made his stomach rumble and then he was very awake. His clothes were stiff from sleeping in them. Leather armor traveled lighter, but it wasn't meant for sleeping. He creaked when he rolled out of bed and pulled his boots on.

It took him a solid minute to remember where he was and then he felt awful for inviting potential strife on the family. No sense sticking around. No doubt Xion would already be upset for him disappearing for so long already.

He headed down the hall, adjusting his armor and stretching as he went.

The three men were all very busy baking, so it was just Roxas who heard him and came out with a couple of jam-filled rolls.

"These are for you on your way back," he said before disappearing back into the kitchen.

Kishi blinked at them. The kid had incredible hearing...

A light bulb went off in Kishi's head and he let himself into the kitchen.

"Forgive me, impeding on your work but I would like to purchase something from you after all."

Ludwig pulled a tray of rolls from the oven.

"Yes? I'm afraid today's inventory isn't quite done yet," the master baker apologized.

"What I would like isn't baked. When I first met her, Xion complained about not having the right yeast cultures at the monastery to make bread bowls. I would very much like to bring some of the proper ingredients to her... If it's possible. I confess, I don't know a whole lot about bread," Kishi admitted sheepishly. Ludwig pulled a large ceramic jar out of a cupboard and emptied a part of it into a smaller glass jar.

"If...if it really is my Xion. She'll only need this."

Kishi fished around for his money pouch as he said, "Name your price."

"Three copper, and that's mostly the jar. Yeast is cheap, boy."

Well, it was better than being called kid. Kishi considered over-paying but that felt flaunty and he didn't want to insult a hard-working man.

In some ways Kishi was a little jealous. Kishi's father had been dismissive, unloving, and a weasel who sold out before any other in the Kingdom. Even Gwendal had been a stern parental figure. There was something comforting about a man who found joy in creating rather than killing.

He handed Ludwig three copper and took the jar delicately, almost reverently. He bowed his head politely.

"Master baker, I thank you once more for your hospitality. I am saddened that I am leaving without your blessing, but I will not press the issue. I will marry her regardless and I pray to the Goddess that you and your family attend our wedding when the time comes."

"I pray that whoever she is, the two of you are a happy couple."

Kishi politely turned and left. He tucked the yeast in his saddlebag and adjusted the saddle before mounting up with a groan. Three days... Another three days on the road. That didn't sound enjoyable.

By the end of the three days Kishi was ready to collapse, so was the horse. He dismounted at the entrance to the monastery and walked the horse to the stables. He took his saddlebags but left the horse with a stable boy.

Infirmary first? Or relationship first? He wasn't sure where Xion was. It was more likely she would find him as word got around that he was back.

Xion and Felix were training. She'd managed to switch to a brace for her knee instead and she was trying to get her arm back in working order. When news finally arrived via Sylvain, Xion went to their bedroom.

Kishi didn't spend long at the infirmary. He got another couple rounds of Heal and was sent on his way. He entered their room slowly, not sure if she was there or not.

Xion was sitting on the bed. He froze when he saw her, trying to judge how mad she was.

" _ A week. _ "

He flinched a little bit and looked down, rubbing his arm and pouting.

"Are you going to tell me where you went? Or are we still not talking or touching?" she asked.

"I went to talk to your father," he said, still studying the floor.

"...why?" Her voice wasn't quite as sharp.

"To ask for his blessing," he said quietly.

Xion slid off the bed and walked over to hug him.

"I was  _ worried. _ You didn't even tell me you were  _ leaving. _ "

He hugged her tightly and buried his face in her shoulder.

"I was worried he'd say no and I would have to respect his wishes but I know now it doesn't matter. I love you so much, I want you more than anything."

"I'm glad you're back but you are absolutely sleeping alone tonight."

"I guess that's only fair," he whined. He pulled back a bit and set the saddlebags down but not before digging the yeast out for her.

"Maybe this will help me atone too."

She opened the jar and sniffed it.

"This is sourdough starter."

"I bought it from your father. I don't know if you remember, the day we met you complained about the kitchen not keeping the right yeast."

" _ Goddess _ , you remember that?" She only vaguely remembered complaining.

"Guess we're having soup soon," she mused.

He studied her while she went over the yeast. Damn it had been a long week. Kishi gently took her chin and tilted her head back so he could kiss her lips. She kissed him back softly.

"I'm still mad at you. But you're forgiven."

"Roxas told me about my brother too." He stepped past her so he could sit on the bed.

"Riku?" She followed him, intent on sitting in his lap. He backed up a bit to make room for her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"He and Sora fled to Dagda."

"From the war?"

"War, responsibilities, you name it." He buried his face in her shoulder as he talked.

"I wasn't trained for being the Head of the House. I didn't realize that I am taking on Riku's responsibilities too. Xion, that means I'll need an heir. If-If that's not something you want, you don't have to marry me."

"I don't mind having kids but if we have more than one—which is very likely—I won't be able to treat one differently just because they're going to inherit a title." She kissed his cheek.

"We'll love them all, no matter what," he promised.

"Then I'll be happy to have kids with you. Um, not right now, though. Let's wait a few years first."

_ Are we sure you'll live that long? _ he thought to himself. He kissed her shoulder and tightened his grip around her waist.

"Why haven't you gone back to visit them?" Kishi asked.

"...it wasn't safe. In school, I was still being watched by the Slitherers and during the five years a spy it was the Empire. I didn't want to risk them being used if I was caught."

"You should go visit them."

"I should."

"Roxas believes in you. He knows you're alive."

"...did my dad  _ not _ believe you? Actually, I can see that."

"He wouldn't believe me," Kishi sighed, "so no blessing."

"You don't need it. I love you and I'll elope if I have to."

"I could never make you choose between myself and your family."

"My choice is already made."

He kept his head down so she wouldn't see him crying. Damn, he loved her so much. Kishi couldn't think of a single thing he had done to deserve her.

"And we'll make our own family, right?" Xion asked. He nodded.

"We need to go home soon. We've done everything we set out to do."

"To Arianrhod?"

"Yeah. My steward is waiting for me to come home," Kishi admitted.

"When are we leaving?"

"Me, not you."

"Why can't I come?" Xion asked.

"Roxas told me your father is planning a pilgrimage here on their way back to Enbarr. You should be here to greet them."

"They're—they're gonna come  _ here _ ?" Her voice was caught somewhere between hope and uncertainty.

"I don't know when, which is why you should stay."

"When are  _ you _ leaving, then?"

"A few days... I probably shouldn't have traveled as hard as I did."

"I'm spending every moment I can with you then."

"What happened to kicking me out for the night?" Kishi asked jokingly.

"... except that."

He nuzzled her.

"Alright, I better ask Sylvain if I can crash with him."

"You still have your own room."

"I gave that one to someone else when I moved in with you."

"Do you know how many empty bedrooms are in the monastery?" she asked redundantly.

"Did more people leave while I was gone?"

"Annette and Ashe. Not together but Ashe wanted to see his siblings and Annette and Gilbert went to visit her mom."

"Don't let me forget to offer Ashe a Knighthood in our province."

"Ashe is going to have knighthood  _ everywhere _ but I won't let you forget."

"Well, I  _ want _ him serving House Rowe first and foremost," he insisted.

"Better send him a letter now, then."

"I will." Kishi patted her leg to tell her to get up. She swung her leg over so she was sitting beside him and he got up and stretched some.

"I'm going to go find a room for the night."

"You can have  _ one _ kiss good night."

He really wanted more than just a kiss, but he was willing to compromise. Kishi stepped back up to her and leaned down to kiss her. She kissed gently and slowly.

He really had to resist the urge to push her farther. They still hadn't even undressed in front of each other and he knew the baby steps were important even if he was going a little crazy. With a sad sigh, he pulled away and started to leave.

"I'll bring you breakfast."

"I'll be here, love."

Kishi left the room.


	25. Epilogue 2 - Enbarr

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains:
> 
> 12/14 - Enbarr  
> 12/15 - Boys will be Boys

12/14 - Enbarr

~~_ Dear _ ~~

~~_ My dearest _ ~~

~~_ My Beloved _ ~~

_~~My Love Heart Darling~~ _

_ My Darling Fiancé, _

_ I fear that I will be a bit late in coming to see you. My father asked me to spend a few weeks home in Enbarr while they get resettled. He said he didn't want to let me go just yet. He also asked about you! And what you were like and how we got together. I may have told him a slightly abridged version? With some of the harsher stuff removed. It was an... awkward conversation, to say the least. Roxas knows what actually happened, now. There were a lot of tears. _

_ My father wants to talk to you again, before our wedding. Though he wouldn't tell me what about. _

_ I miss you and dislike crawling into a cold bed. _

_ Yours, Xion _ .

Kishi and Atlas were walking through the streets of Enbarr. The city had come a long way in just the few months since Edelgard was deposed but Kingdom soldiers had made quick work of setting up some semblance of government and Dimitri was sure to send aid to the people. There was still litter in the streets and buildings that had yet to be repaired but overall, things were going ok, even with the winter chill on the air.

Kishi was holding Xion's letter in his hand. It was the second big surprise since going home to Arianrhod the first being his noble steed, Atlas, just chilling in the stables. The mount had found his way home after being separated from Kishi and had enjoyed some time being lazy before Kishi put the horse back to work.

They were leading a small caravan of two retainers, each mounted with an additional horse behind them. Kishi was prepared this time. He suspected that Ludwig would be willing to offer his blessing and Kishi wanted to ensure he had a sizable dowry to present. He kept reading the letter and smiling and smelling it and if he closed his eyes, he could just feel her presence on the paper. It wasn't as good as the real thing but Kishi could pretend. He was hoping to surprise them and hadn't sent word on ahead.

When the bakery was within view, Kishi ordered his retainers to wait. He dismounted and walked up to the door, Atlas following him because the horse was basically a dog and liked to be close anyways. The young lord straightened his nice armor, brushed the dust from travel off his apron and cape and adjusted his sword.

"Does my hair look ok?" Kishi asked Atlas. The horse didn't react. He nodded and knocked on the door.

Roxas came up on the other side of the door and tapped the 'closed' sign. Aster squawked at Kishi from the roof and Atlas neighed at Aster.

"Sorry, you'll have to come back tomorrow but I can take a name and order if you're looking for catering," the baker told him.

"Roxas! Tell Xion I got her letter!" Kishi called through the door. Roxas opened it when he recognized the voice.

"She didn't say you were coming."

"I didn't tell her I was."

"...you want to surprise her?" He held the door open, not expecting an answer.

"It's probably better to just go pick her up then. She's in the kitchen."

Kishi eagerly pushed past Roxas. Atlas started to follow him inside too. He raced to the kitchen, easily identified her, and ran to scoop her up.

Xion let out a squeak when her feet left the floor.

"K-Kishi? What're you doing here?" She was covered in flour.

Ven and Ludwig turned from their spots in the kitchen, though neither said anything yet.

He spun her around and kissed her cheek.

"I got your letter and couldn't wait."

"I wasn't going to be that long." She turned her face to catch his kiss. "But I'm very happy to see you, love."

He didn't even care if they had an audience. He looked great, he felt great, and the love of his life was in his arms. Kishi was on top of the world.

"Couldn't wait," he repeated into the crook of her neck as he nuzzled her. There was a frustrated scratching sound followed by a whinny as Atlas tried to get in the door but was too wide with his fancy armor on.

She hugged him and Ludwig cleared his throat, "Uh... hello?"

Kishi stood up straight and loosened his grip so she could touch the ground again. He looked at Ludwig with a slightly apologetic expression that quickly turned into alarmed panic when he heard Atlas whinny. He scrambled from the kitchen and ran to the front door to catch his horse and convince the animal to back up and get out of the small shop.

Xion followed him into the shop and laughed, "We've never served a horse before."

Atlas tossed his head up and down to keep the reins away from Kishi but Kishi bypassed them and tackled the horse, pushing on the animal’s chest while the colored flags on the armor kept slapping his face.

"I guess he missed you too!" It took a second but Kishi got Atlas to back up far enough for one of his retainers to grab the leads and keep the horse from trying to get back in.

"S-Sorry Roxas," Kishi apologized to the poor man who had been knocked over by the door with a crazed horse.

"I'm okay," Roxas assured him. Kishi winced and moved to help the guy up but Roxas kinda waved him off.

"Oh! Xion, I need to talk to your father."

"And he apparently needs to talk to you," Xion agreed.

One of Kishi's retainers leaned into the shop a bit.

"Is all well, my lord?" he asked. Kishi nodded firmly.

"Take Atlas back away from the shop some."

"Of course." The man turned and walked back to the other retainer to wait with all the horses.

"Could he come out here?" Kishi asked.

"I'll ask, then," Roxas offered and headed back to the kitchen.

"You have an entourage now?" Xion asked.

"You can have one of them," Kishi offered with a grin, "Kent, not Sain. Sain reminds me too much of Sylvain."

"...what? I don't need any servants or anything..." The door to the kitchen swung open and Ludwig stepped through and bowed.

"Lord Rowe," the elder man acknowledged.

"Master Baker," Kishi greeted. He gently waved his hand at Xion.

"I need to talk to your father in private, love."

"... alright. I'll get back to work then." She kissed his cheek and headed back.

"I owe you an apology, young sir."

"I would not accept what is not owed," Kishi said politely, "I have come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage and present a dowry fitting of such a lofty request."

"...you ask for something priceless. I could not deny you after hearing her talk about you for a week. My Xion is a very different person than we lost, and you bring her joy."

"She will want for nothing," Kishi assured him, beaming as he spoke.

He stepped just outside the shop and beckoned to his retainers who came up with two incredibly beautiful horses, one was all black, the other was all white. Both horses had ornate tack and medium sized saddlebags. One horse carried gold and silver ingots, modest in size but easily exchanged for an extensive amount of cash. The other horse held priceless odds and ends, jewelry, all gold horse brass, the deed to a small plot of land in the countryside near Arianrhod, chalices, and a few cut gemstones.

"You spoke the truth; they pale in comparison to her but please accept these horses. They are from my Grandfather's royal lines, Perseus and Pleiades: the finest stallion and mare of last year's foals. They are brave, loyal, and ready to work for you and your family."

"...I have nowhere to keep the horses, nor work to give them. The most use they would get is trips to Arianrhod to visit the two of you. Is that a respectable life for such fine horses?"

"I leave that to you. If it better suits you to sell them then so be it. If they better suit your sons, then they may have them. They and all they carry are yours to do with as you please."

"Know that I consider this a gift, not a purchase. It is still her choice. Though I believe her heart has made up its mind," Ludwig told him.

"I would have it no other way," Kishi told him, "I will have the horses kept at the palace stables. They will be safe and cared for there until you have need of them."

He waved to Kent and Sain who nodded politely and went back to their own horses to head towards the palace. Kishi closed the shop door, satisfied, and then stood there awkwardly.

"I don't actually know what to do next," he admitted. "I've never done this before."

"A lucky man will only have done it once. It's not something you ever want to be experienced in."

"You strike me as a lucky man, what did you do after asking your father-in-law to be for your love's hand?" Kishi asked.

"...I asked her. Went right outside and asked her on the spot."

"W-What if I already asked her?" Kishi was starting to sweat.

He wasn't sure if there was a good answer but he resisted the urge to run, instead he took Ludwig's hand, shook it firmly, and said quickly, "You know what, you guys are probably still really busy, I'm just going to go. So sorry for disturbing you all so late, I'll be back early in the morning!" Then he dipped out the front door.

Of course, Ludwig already knew as much. Xion had made exactly zero attempts to hide the ring, but he remembered how scared he was with Arwen's father, asking to marry her, and completely understood Kishi running off.

"So?" Sain asked, when Kishi got to the suite at the palace. Kishi grunted in response and kicked off his boots and started taking off his armor, just letting it sit on the ground where it landed. He collapsed on the bed facedown.

"That bad huh?"

"I think I almost killed him and myself under the awkward."

"He at least liked the dowry? Everybody likes money and free stuff," Kent said. He was sitting on a lavish couch, sharpening his sword.

"The horses might have been a bad idea."

"Horses are never a bad idea," Sain corrected. Kishi made another grumbling noise, something along the lines of "I'm tired" and/or "I don't want to talk about it."

Xion came looking for him about a half hour later.

Sain was the one who opened the door to the suite. He smiled at her brightly. He and Kent were both around the same age as Kishi and Xion, floating in that early 20s range. Sain had brown-green eyes the color of soft forest moss and short hair that matched in color. He was shirtless, only wearing his light tan pants and a dark purple headband.

"Well hello," he greeted, leaning against the doorframe, "What can I do for you?"

Xion completely ignored his lack of shirt.

"I'm looking for my fiancé, have you seen him?"

"Sain, who's at the door?" Kent called from inside the suite. There were footsteps and the more serious looking redhead opened the door a little wider.

"Are you serious?" Kent scolded, "go put some clothes on before you put someone's eye out. You're Xion right?"

"...yes..."  _ Isn't Sain one of the names Kishi said earlier? _ "...if he's Sain, I guess you're Kent?"

"Yeah that's right. Here, Kishi's in the master bedroom upstairs." He opened the door a little wider to let her in. The foyer was modest. The suite itself was two stories with a few separate bedrooms, one upstairs and two downstairs.

"Thank you." Xion stepped inside. They had delivered to the palace a few times, but not often, these big guest suites were less familiar. She went up the stairs and knocked on the door.

"Come in," Kishi called. He was laying on the bed in just his underwear, reading a book and not paying attention to who came into the room, assuming it was just one of his retainers.

Xion swung the door open and covered her eyes like a child.

"Um..."

Kishi looked over the top of his book and immediately scrambled under the covers, hiding himself 100% as though he could hide from his shame too.

"Oh Goddess... Xion, I'm so sorry, I had no idea you would come by."

"...is it safe to look?" she asked.

"Y-yeah." He was still completely under the covers. Xion peeked between her fingers before moving her hands.

"I didn't—I didn't see much."

"I-I mean, it wouldn't be a bad thing if you did..." he stammered.

"...no, but we haven't yet..."

Kishi poked his head out from under the covers.

"Are we crazy for being so shy around each other?"

"According to Sylvain, yes. According to Felix, no." She crossed the room to sit on the bed.

"It's not like I've never seen a girl naked before...and a lot of people have seen me naked." He scratched the back of his head. Xion scratched her arm. Same energy. 

"...no one's seen me naked in that context."

Well, now Kishi felt like a dick. He absolutely had a couple lovers in school. Not nearly to the same extent that Sylvain claimed to but Kishi had experience. Finding out that Xion didn't, made him feel like he should've waited and made him feel a little better about not pushing her and hiding himself around her. He sat up a little more so the covers fell around his waist and reached out to take her hand.

"There's nothing wrong with that," he reassured her.

"There's nothing wrong with trying to figure it out, either. Just wasn't my thing." She squeezed his hand.

"Well, intimacy is a part of being married… a-and it would be a lie if I said I hadn't th-thought about us a lot." Kishi pulled his hand back awkwardly. He was blushing. Weren’t people in love supposed to be ok talking about everything with each other? Why was this so weird?

"B-but we don't have to do anything about it tonight, or even for a long time, if you don't want to!" he stumbled through the rest of his words.

"I just—I had a lot of other things on my mind. It's not that I'm against it, not at all, I'm just...new to the idea." She scratched her arm again.

He scooted a bit so he could sit cross-legged on the bed in front of her, still just in his shorts.

"Xion, here. You don't have to show me yourself yet, but you can look at me and we can have intimate moments without sex."

He offered both his hands to her, palms up so his scars were on display. It was the most vulnerable part of him, a constant reminder of just how hopeless he had been and the shame of betraying everything he had ever known and loved. In a way, it was intimate to demonstrate that level of trust with her.

All of his scars were open for her analysis and judgement. There was the little knot on his shoulder where he first took an arrow for her. The one in his chest from the day the war began. His forearms were riddled with haphazard lines. A couple of his toes were crooked. There was a long scar on his left side across his ribs and breast as well as a few nicks across his biceps. He wanted her to see that he was an open book and trusted her implicitly without any expectations from her.

Xion took one hand in both of hers as she turned to him. The hand over his came back up and traced down his palm, over his wrist and rested over the lines there before lifting. She took a moment to trace a finger over each one before placing a kiss where her hand had been. She repeated the process with his other arm, his chest, his side and shoulder and anything else.

"I don't want any secrets from you," he told her softly. Kishi caught her hand when he was certain she was done exploring and kissed her palm before holding it to his cheek.

"I love you. I hope you know that means I'm yours. I'm sorry I was too embarrassed and ashamed of myself to show you that before. I just needed time and please, please take as long as you need," he reassured her once more. Xion brushed her thumb along his cheek before taking her hand away.

"I'd like to stay at the same pace as you, if you're okay with that."

He wasn't totally sure what she meant by that and tilted his head slightly out of reflex in a gesture of confusion, but he trusted her. He would never push her to do something that made her uncomfortable. Did she want to undress now too just because he did?

"Let me get dressed and you can stay here tonight," he whispered to her, blushing a bright red that reached his chest.

"You don't...have to. Are you cold, though? Why were you just hanging around in your underwear?" Part of her liked seeing him like this. Not naked, but open and more vulnerable than ever.

"It's hot in Enbarr," he admitted, scratching the back of his head.

"It's the ethereal moon!"

"It's still hot," he grumbled. Maybe the palace was just kept super-hot, being around Xion made him feel warm too, plus he was embarrassed, so his heart was racing.

"I bet there's already snow in Arianrhod, huh?"

"A little. It's not as high up in the mountains as the monastery or as far north as other Kingdom territories... Me being like this," he started, motioning to himself, "it doesn't make you uncomfortable?"

She shook her head and said, "No. It was ...surprising at first? Maybe I was a little embarrassed to have walked in on you..."

"You shouldn't be," he assured her, "I always hid because I thought seeing so much... Skin... made you uncomfortable."

"No." She leaned over to hug him.

"I think you've only made me really uncomfortable once, and it wasn't something you knew about then."

He wrapped his arms around her.

"I-I did? When was that??"

"You slipped on ice and grabbed me here." She slid a hand down his shoulder to his elbow. He vaguely remembered that, but he wasn't sure why that bothered her.

"Xion, why would that bother you?"

"... it's where they held us during experiments."

He immediately felt sick and loosened his grip on her.

"I'm sorry."

"You didn't know."

He was trying to think if he had touched her there since. What if there were any other places he had touched her without knowing? Kishi was psyching himself out and let go of her out of fearful concern, worried he'd stumbled on another sore spot.

She looked up, a little startled and asked, "Did I say something wrong?"

"What no! I'm just scared," he admitted, " I don't want to hurt you in my ignorance."

"I very much like being held by you. That won't ever hurt me."

"What if I grab the wrong part of you?" Kishi asked.

"Then... you can always kiss me to make up."

He pulled her into his lap so that her legs were on either side of his hips. That made it easier to hug her to his chest.

"Stay with me tonight?" he invited.

"Of course, love." She rested her head over his heart. He rubbed her back and played with her hair, just enjoying her presence. She was very warm and still smelled like bread.

"Were they happy to see you?"

"I think Roxas was the happiest. Ven and my dad were too shocked to say anything at first. I...I didn't really know how to react to them, either."

"Roxas is a good guy. I think he would make a good knight," Kishi told her.

"...how could he?"

"I've been looking into a few options. It won't matter if he doesn't want it badly enough."

"There  _ are _ options?"

"Y-Yeah... Would you not want him to?"

"No, no, I'd be happy to see that. I just... didn't know he could."

"Yeah I think he might. He can start practicing by getting to know the horses I gave your father."

"...you gave my father horses?" Xion asked.

"I brought a dowry for him," he told her.

"If horses were involved it was probably overkill. Where are we going to put them?"

"There's a public stable," he offered, "Or they can keep them on the farm I set aside for your family."

"You gave them a  _ farm _ ?"

Now he was sweating.

"Well, y-yeah, that's part of a dowry. Taking care of the family you marry into is important."

"When I was little my dad used to brag that he might get a cow from my dowry because 'I was  _ that _ special'."

"I-It's not a cow but hopefully two horses and some precious things are a good substitute."

"If it's your caliber of 'precious' he can probably buy a cow."

"He could buy a herd if he wants. I hope he expands that bakery."

"There's nothing wrong with the size of the bakery."

She thought a minute before continuing, "Maybe the parents can have their own room now, though."

"Maybe expand to a second location. Or add a personal stable to the bakery."

"You're thinking bigger than my dad ever will."

"Maybe I should give Ven all the gold then," Kishi mused. 

"Ven would probably do the same and give the remainder to a charity."

"Why does your family want to live such a lackluster life so badly?" he grumbled.

"It's not lackluster. We just have different priorities."

He made a displeased snort and scowled.

"...why does it bother you so much?" she asked.

"No reason," he grumbled.

"You're grumpy."

"I'm fine." He buried his face in the crook of her neck.

"Hey Kishi?"

"Hm?"

"I can't wait to be your wife."

His heart skipped a beat and he tightened his hug as he asked, "You're not just saying that?"

"Of course not. I love you."

"I don't want to wait either. We should pick a date."

"A Saturday. ... maybe in spring. A few months away."

"That's not a lot of time to prepare."

"What needs preparing?" Xion asked.

"You don't have formal armor that I know of, we need to pick a place, find an officiant, talk to people about preparing a feast, pick attendants."

"Then where should we have it? Byleth and Dimitri are getting married in Fhirdiad."

"That's a country wide party. We could have it in Arianrhod but then it would be a big party too. I don't know if I want to invite the whole province." He rested his chin on her shoulder.

"Someplace not many people are normally at?"

"But big enough for our friends and family."

"And you're probably going to want a holy place."

"Would the monastery be too weird?" Kishi asked.

"... y'know what? No, it wouldn't. It's where we met and got to know each other."

"I can talk to the Prof- I mean, the Archbishop."

"...can she officiate?"

"I don't see why not. I can ask her that too. I want to spend a couple days here with you in Enbarr and then I can get started setting things up."

"Do I get to go with you this time?"

"Do you want to leave your family so soon?"

"I... maybe we'll take a few days to decide, then."

"Take all the time you need." He kissed her cheek.

"In the meantime, what do you want to do in Enbarr?"

"I have a couple meetings but otherwise I'm all yours."

She hummed and kissed his cheek.

* * *

12/15 - Boys Will be Boys 

Xion had gone back to the bakery in the early morning, only for her dad to whisk her away. He wasn't sure how long she'd stay and had lots of birthdays and midwinters to make up for.

Kishi never really had to prepare in his youth for meetings like this. It was always expected that Riku would handle political affairs but now Kishi was learning on the fly. Good news was, so were a lot of others. Any living Imperial nobles were present, a few Alliance, and Kishi, Ashe, and Dimitri.

Dimitri had overseen the division of Imperial land. Instead of assigning new nobles to territories bordering former Alliance and Kingdom lands, bordering nobles were granted permission to expand and take on some of those workloads. Kishi and Ashe got the biggest cuts with Arundel missing his lands were lacking leadership, that county was thus divided between the two of them.

Kishi's personal holdings nearly tripled, as did his responsibilities, staff, and resources. It was a lot of work but he wasn't in it alone. There were plenty of people willing to help.

After the meeting, Kishi talked to Dimitri and Ashe about some wedding planning and then headed to the bakery. He felt a little overdressed in his formal armor and riding Atlas through the streets but as long as his two retainers hung back a bit, he didn't feel too exposed.

He let himself into the shop. It was just past noon, so the bakery was busy and there was a line. Ventus and Roxas were both helping customers.

Kishi waited patiently in line until Kent came in to check on him.

"Um, do you want us to clear everyone else out?" Kent asked but Kishi waved him off.

"No, we don't need to flaunt rank like that. This is just a normal day for most people."

Ventus ended up helping him.

"What can I get you, Lord Rowe?" he asked.

"I'm looking for the love of my life."

"She's out with our dad right now."

"I see." He looked around at how busy it was.

"Do you guys need help?" Kishi offered.

"People are buying their dinner and dessert breads right now. It'll be done in an hour or so."

"...Sooo You don't need help."

Roxas finished with his current customer.

"If Dad keeps Xion out late we'll need help getting tomorrow's batch started," the blind boy said.

"Then I will stay to help."

Kishi dismissed Kent for the evening and sat down in the shop to wait. While he waited, he watched Roxas.

Roxas was a little slower than Ventus, but it was still good service, with a smile and pleasant talk. It was hard to tell that Roxas was blind at all.

Eventually, the line wore down to nothing but Kishi politely stayed sitting. He still wasn't sure what was ok and what wasn't yet.

"You aren't going to be much help just sitting there." Roxas said as he flipped the sign on the door to Closed.

"Roxas, be polite."

"If he's going to be our brother-in-law I should be able to speak casually with him."

The banter made Kishi feel a little bit better.

"He's right. Rank means nothing around family."

"You still don't have to be rude, Roxas. Rank or no," Ven scolded. Roxas turned to Ven's voice and stuck out his tongue.

Kishi got up and walked over to them, saying, "Lighten up some, Ventus."

"Call me Ven."

"Lighten up then, Ven," he teased, lightly punching Ven's shoulder. Ven laughed awkwardly and Roxas hopped the counter.

"Roxas, do that again," Kishi said.

"He's not actually supposed to do that." Ven messed with Roxas' hair. Roxas batted his arms.

"Hey, hey, cut it out!"

"For being blind you have really good environmental awareness."

"Only in here. The moment I'm out the door I need a cane," said Roxas.

"Hm, well, show me how to help."

"Come back to the kitchen." Ven lifted the counter for Kishi.

Kishi followed behind the counter but stopped to take some of his armor off. He was still dressed spectacularly and would undoubtedly get in the way. He stripped down to just his under armor from the waist up, and only took off whatever was sticking out below his waist.

Roxas went upstairs to grab an extra apron and Kishi looked Ven up and down. This was really the first time he had looked at Xion's older brother.

"So Vanitas is your twin huh?"

Van covered his face with a hand.

"I already feel an apology coming on. What did he do?"

"Ah, no, I just didn't really see the physical resemblance."

"Van and Xion look like our mom. Sora's sort of an in-between kid," Ven explained.

"And you want to inherit the bakery huh?"

"I'm happy with this life. I know it, I've been prepared for it since Van said he wanted to fight."

"You don't dream a little bigger? Maybe expanding? Hiring more employees?" prodded Kishi.

"...not really. I might take on some help when my dad retires, or if Roxas leaves, but I live a comfortable life with relatively few worries. I don't want to have a different life."

Kishi was rapidly realizing he wouldn't have much in common with Ven. Suddenly, Vanitas was the more exciting brother he wanted to get to know.

"Oh. Well, it's good to know what you want."

Roxas came back down and held out the apron.

"I don't know what size you are."

Ven looked it over thoughtfully and then said, "It should still fit."

He took the apron and put it on. It was a little small, but Kishi didn't mind.

"Kitchen, then. How much do you know about baking?" Ven asked and held the door open for Kishi.

"I made a pastry for Xion with a lot of help."

Ven winced. Kishi fiddled with his apron.

"Better start with basics, then."

"If it's too much of a hassle, I can wash dishes instead of helping with the food."

"There's not a lot of dishes, honestly. You can probably mix and knead. It doesn't take a lot of skill." Ven pulled out a few bowls and whisks. Roxas was setting logs in the oven.

Ven grabbed a bag of flour, some eggs, and a smaller bag of sugar. He dusted the table with flour and covered his arms before passing the bag to Kishi.

"Dough will stick to anything you don't coat."

Kishi went ahead and followed suit, dusting his arms up to his elbows to be safe.

Ven was fairly quiet as he showed Kishi the different steps to mixing the dough while Roxas was grinding sugar into powder.

It was hard to tell if Ven liked Kishi or not. This guy would be Kishi's older brother, he had to respect the man, but it was still weird. Maybe he, Kishi, represented change and Ven didn't like that... or maybe he was just indifferent overall.

Kishi kept a sigh to himself and eventually settled into a rhythm kneading and mixing dough. It was easy for his mind to wander through insecurities when his task was so monotonous.

About an hour and a half later, the little bell over the door sounded and Xion and Ludwig's voices could be heard.

Kishi looked up and turned some when he heard them in the other room, a ball of dough in his hands and flour all over. He had been reapplying probably a little too much to hide his scars and had some on his face and shirt where the apron couldn't reach.

Xion walked to the kitchen while her father took inventory.

"Never thought I'd see you this dirty," she said. He rolled the dough in his hands and grinned at her.

"I used to live in a barn."

"Still don't think you were ever this dirty."

She walked up behind him and kissed his cheek. He put the dough down and turned around to hug her, getting flour all over her clothes and leaving handprints on her hips.

"How was your day?"

"Good, but it's about to get a lot better."

"Mm, what makes you say that?" he asked as he nuzzled her neck and left little kisses along her shoulder, completely forgetting that others were in the room.

"Because you're in it now," said Xion. Roxas smiled, though he didn't raise his head. Ven busied himself in his kneading. Not his business.

Kishi shamelessly kissed her and wrapped his arms around her to pull her flush against him. She giggled for a moment before they heard the bell again and Ludwig's voice.

"Xion! Hayner's here to see you!"

Kishi loosened his grip some and tilted his head in confusion.

"Hayner?"

"The butcher's son. We were friends when I was little." She let go of him and kissed his cheek. "Do you want to come meet him?"

"Go on ahead, I'll be there in a second." He stepped away to clean himself up a little bit.

Xion went to the storefront and was immediately hugged. At least there was no blood or guts on his apron. Hayner presented her with a red rose and Xion had a feeling his crush hadn't died in the eleven years she was gone.

Kishi wiped his hands and face with the apron that he removed and threw over his shoulder. He walked out to the shop and froze for a second before his initial expression of shock turned into one of amusement.

"Uh...sorry, Hayner, I'm spoken for." Xion showed him the ring. Hayner looked... maybe not  _ devastated _ , but upset.

"We said we'd get married when we were little...I guess we've both grown up, huh? I hope he knows he's a very lucky man.”

"I am," Kishi said from the doorway, "You're right Xion, he is kind of cute."

Xion turned bright red.

" _ Kishi! _ "

Hayner just laughed, "Maybe I have a baby face, but I can take anyone down."

"Well, at least you're good at something," Kishi teased.

Hayner narrowed his eyes.

"You tryna' pick a fight? I don't know who you are, but butchers are good with a blade."

Xion snorted a moment, picturing Hayner with a carving knife trying to come after a lance-wielding Kishi.

"I think you're embarrassing yourself just fine right now but if you want to fight, I'm down. It's been awhile since I've kicked someone's ass." Kishi grinned and cracked his knuckles. Hayner was very put out and glared at Kishi.

"I'll meet you outside in five minutes. Xion, reconsider marrying anyone willing to fight a butcher." He left. Kishi had a huge grin on his face. Knights and soldiers often had a hard time settling down in peacetime.

"I like him," the young lord declared. Xion doubled over laughing. Her father just looked concerned.

Kishi walked further into the shop, wiping his arms off with the towel so he could put his bracers back on. He had a jovial air about him.

"I'm debating if I should let him land a hit," he mused aloud.

"I just want to see his face when you walk out with an axe or lance."

"Please... don't kill Hayner, he's a good kid, if a bit slow," Ludwig chimed in.

"I'm not going to kill him," Kishi assured him, still with a cavalier attitude, "I'm not even really going to hurt him." He didn't bother putting all his armor on, just the bracers really, and that was less for protection and more for personal comfort. He headed outside.

Hayner was running back with a meat cleaver.

"Weapons or no weapons?" he asked.

"You know what, bud, why don't you pick." Kishi walked right over to where Atlas was tied and unhooked his Silver Lance from the saddle.

Xion came out the door to see Hayner glancing back and forth between Kishi and the lance and the meat cleaver with  _ 'oh shit _ ' written all over his face.

"Just fists works..." the butcher grumbled.

"You sure? You seemed really excited to show me your knife."

"Too scared to fight without your spear?" Hayner countered. Well, he was a hot-blooded young man.

Kishi shrugged and tossed the lance to Sain. Both retainers had been hanging out nearby and walked over when it looked like something was going down. Neither said anything. They didn't doubt Kishi’s abilities.

"I do like my boar sticker but I don't really  _ need _ it for you," Kishi mused jovially. He walked out more into the road to face off with Hayner.

The guy looked around for a moment before placing the cleaver on a barrel and putting his fists up. Kishi put his up too and slowly started to walk towards him. When he got within striking distance, Kishi started to walk at an angle to slowly strafe around the guy.

Hayner struck with all the confidence and skill of a thirteen-year-old boy. Kishi ducked under his fist and punched him square in the face sending the butcher stumbling back.

He wiped his now-broken nose with a mumbled, “Shit."

"Sorry, a moving target is a little harder to hit eh, butcher?"

Hayner kicked up some dust before squaring up again. Kishi jabbed at Hayner’s left and the guy lost balance and fell on his rear.

Oh Goddess help this poor idiot, Kishi thought as he offered Hayner a hand. The man glanced at it a moment before taking it and pulling himself up.

"...I really do win most of my fights."

"I believe you," Kishi assured him with a genuine tone.

"Why are you so stupidly good?"

"Listen friend, you should see a doctor for your nose." He beckoned for Sain.

"Sain, escort Hayner here to a doctor and Hayner, your fighting spirit is pretty admirable."

"Still didn't catch your name."

"It's Kishi."

"Good to meet you Kishi. You better make Xion happy or I'll chop you up in your sleep."

_ Only way you'd be able to, assuming Vanitas doesn't kill me first, _ he thought.

"I certainly hope so, Hayner." Kishi turned and walked back to the bakery. Xion and Ludwig were waiting outside.

"You're right, he's ok," announced Kishi.

"The cute comment was  _ not _ necessary." She was still a little red.

"He is! In that baby cute kind of way!"

"Yes, but he didn't need to hear it!" Xion insisted.

Kishi scooped her up.

"Well, my dear, I think I chased the scoundrel away."

"Such a scoundrel." She kissed his nose.

"I had a productive meeting today," he told her as he carried her back inside.

"Oh? What did you find out?"

"We redrew county boundaries today," he told her, "Rowe territory nearly tripled in size."

"What does that mean for you?"

"A lot more responsibility and a lot more wealth to put it simply. Are you ok marrying a noble like that?"

"Hm...I guess if it's you I can make an exception." She grinned.

"Ashe is our neighbor though," Kishi said with fake disappointment.

"Not our knight? What a shame..."

"I can’t keep bossing him around. Oh! Master Baker," Kishi started as he put Xion down, "I forgot last night to leave these here with you. I had my retainers fetch them." He motioned to the saddlebags by the front door, the non-horse part of the dowry.

"Thank you for your generosity, Lord Rowe. If I may have a word alone, it would be greatly appreciated." Xion looked between her father and Kishi before retreating to the kitchen. He tried not to whine when Xion left.

"First, I want to say that you don't need to run. I know how terrifying it is to ask what you did, but you needn't be afraid. I know you'll take care of my Xion."

He looked down, a little ashamed that he ran at all.

"Chin up, boy. You've no reason to not look me in the eye. You're a noble and a hero of war."

Kishi jumped a little and snapped to some kind of attention to look at his soon to be father-in-law. Ludwig pulled up one of the three chairs in the shop.

"You and my daughter lived a dangerous life together. You have more than earned an easy life."

"Sir, the life you lead here is more the life I would want for her. The life of a noble, especially the station I've come to inherit, isn't easy but I don't think either of us would be happy if it were."

"Life's complicated. There are rarely clear-cut answers. I think she'd be happier with you than in the bakery," Ludwig admitted.

"I would not be alive if it weren't for her. She is my sun, my moon, and my stars. I could live any life and be happy as long as she's by my side."

"I'm glad to hear it. Though perhaps you should save the poetry for her ears, on a bad day it might keep you from sleeping on the couch."

"O-Oh yes, of course..." He blushed some and scratched the back of his head again, feeling uncomfortable.

"Was there anything else, sir?"

Ludwig looked him over, thinking before he said, "...no, I suppose not. Unless you want date ideas around Enbarr."

"Ah! N-No, sir, that's alright. I have more meetings tomorrow anyway. Not a lot of time for sight-seeing."

"Then I'll leave you to it and I'll send Xion to you later."

Kishi nodded politely and started gathering up his things to go.


	26. Epilogue 3 - Where Our Road Leads

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Contains: 
> 
> 6/8 - Binding  
> 6/15 - A Place to Call Home

Garland Moon - 1187 - 

6/8 - Binding

Kishi had arrived at the monastery nearly a week prior to oversee the preparations. Lord Gaspard, Margrave Gautier, and Duke Fraldarius were helping him out. Despite all their upgraded titles, Ashe, Sylvain, and Felix were still happily casual with each other which was for the best. Kishi was anxious and stressed beyond anything else.

They had picked the second Saturday of the Garland Moon which had given them six months to plan. It wasn't enough time as far as Kishi was concerned, he was trying way too hard to make it perfect. Formal armor had to be made from scratch for Xion, they had to get flowers together (thank you Dedue!), rings crafted, a sword forged, a feast to plan, fine ales to secure, and dozens of other little things.

Xion's family had arrived a few days prior. Kishi had hired them to help with the feast and make the cake. They had gotten all settled in but Xion had taken an additional day to arrive. Her ladies in waiting, Ingrid, Annette, and Mercedes had whisked her away to practice her hair, adjust the gown for the reception, and overall, just enjoy a "girly" time. Although "girly" was open to interpretation when all of them were experienced Knights.

Sylvain had personally handled most of the work. He was ecstatic, which Kishi and all his groomsmen were mildly suspicious of. Sylvain had never been the settling down type.

"Try to relax some," Sylvain assured him. Kishi was pacing in the Knight's Hall on the second floor of the monastery the morning of his wedding. Sylvain was there, as was Sain and Roxas. Kishi had insisted that Kent act as Xion's retainer.

There was still some anti-Kingdom sentiment even this long after the war and he was concerned. Sain stayed with Kishi and Roxas was Kishi's squire. He had travelled back with them six months ago and was starting to learn how to be a knight.

Roxas stood by the doors to listen for anyone.

"Margrave Gautier is right. You'll wear a hole in the floor with all that pacing," he said.

"What if we forgot something? Or someone couldn't make it?" Kishi stressed aloud.

"Ki, listen, you're going to be just fine. It's going to be beautiful," Sylvain said.

He got up and stood in front of Kishi to adjust the groom’s pauldron. The armor was mostly ornamental and slightly uncomfortable. It was armor meant for a Lord and Kishi was used to the weight of a Great Knight so he kept flipping the shoulder cape about and getting it caught on other pieces.

There were footsteps down the hall and faint voices. One of them was identical to Kishi's, the other the voice of a confused monastery attendant.

Roxas knew the other voice and he straightened up, warning, "I think you're going to have a visitor you don't necessarily want right now."

Kishi and Sylvain both looked up in confused alarm. Something was, in fact, going wrong. It was like looking in a mirror.

Riku came around the corner, took a couple steps into the room and froze. They stared at each other for a second and then Riku's eyes softened. Both men were completely identical, aside from clothing and hair length. Kishi had kept his short, while Riku's was grown out to his shoulders and pulled back.

"Hey, little brother..." Riku said softly. Kishi studied him wide-eyed for a second then walked up and punched him across the jaw.

"THAT is for deserting your country and family when they needed you," he growled. Riku staggered from the blow but recovered quickly and nodded.

"I deserved that."

Kishi punched him again, adding, "And THAT is for dumping your responsibilities on me."

Sora scrambled to grab Riku and glared up at Kishi.

"You don't have to go _that_ far," the young man scolded.

"Sora?" asked Roxas when he heard the voice. He left his post at the door. Sora's eyes snapped up.

"Roxas. Where's the rest of the family?" Sora had found out that Xion was alive just a week prior and was eager to see her.

 _Wow... the resemblance really is uncanny_ , Kishi thought. It made sense, triplets, but it was still a little jarring. Kishi scowled when the shock wore off.

"Move," he ordered with a growl. Riku gently removed Sora.

"Sora, it's ok, he's right about this and we need to talk it out."

Sora huffed and let Riku go before turning to Roxas again.

"She's... she's really alive?" Sora asked his triplet brother. Roxas nodded and immediately got hugged by Sora.

"Kishi, I'm sorr-" Riku got punched again. He delicately touched his bruising jaw as he struggled to stay upright.

"You left me _alone_ ," Kishi snarled. He was shaking enough to start crying.

"I had made peace with the life that had been laid out for me! Why did YOU get to run away from yours and leave me without that option?!"

Riku wasn't sure what to say so he didn't say anything, just closed his eyes and waited to be punched again but the punch never came. Kishi had rushed forward to hug him instead.

"Fuck you," Kishi mumbled weakly into Riku's shirt. Riku just softly put his arms around his brother to return the hug.

Roxas had listened to the outburst a bit and wasn't quite sure what the last noise had been. Did Kishi tackle Riku?

"Roxas, where is she?" Sora asked when it was clear that Riku would survive this encounter.

"Getting ready for her wedding."

Sylvain and Sain both stood there awkwardly until Sylvain finally cleared his throat.

"Hey Riku," he greeted.

"Sylvain? I haven't seen you since you were tiny."

"Yeah, we all grew up I guess." Kishi stepped back with a sigh.

"Stay for the wedding," the groom ordered. Riku nodded politely.

"Kishi, listen, I didn't want to abandon you, but I met the love of my life and I had, I had to put him first. We would never have been allowed to be ourselves if I had stayed. Leaving was the best thing I could do for all of us."

The younger brother put a hand up to silence his elder, saying, "You shouldn't have abandoned your duty. It was shameful but I understand." Riku turned to reach for Sora's hand.

"Kishi I want you to meet Sora. Sora, this is my younger brother Kishi."

Sora let go of Roxas and held a hand out for Kishi.

"Nice to meet you. Please don't punch Riku again."

"I won't make that promise," Kishi said as he took Sora's hand, shaking it firmly, "Thank you for taking care of my brother."

"I think it was mostly him taking care of me. Thank you for finding my sister."

"She saved me."

"Who would've thought a family of bakers would have to save a pair of nobles," Sain mused happily as he put the pieces together.

"We're still kinda fuzzy on the details of what went on in the war," Sora admitted as he took his hand back and went back to Riku's side.

"There will be time for that later," Sylvain said, "for now my best friend needs to focus on getting married. You two, out. You can sit together on either side of the aisle in the Cathedral."

Sora hugged Roxas again before waiting for Riku.

Riku sighed, "I'm sorry I took so long."

"Say sorry again and I'll break your nose." The older brother chuckled and left the room with Sora's hand in his.

"Roxas, Sain, I'm going to go double check everything," Sylvain said, "make sure Kishi is at the Cathedral doors in half an hour."

"Will do." Roxas bowed towards Sylvain's voice and Sylvain excused himself.

Xion was locked in her room while Mercedes and Annette twisted and pulled her hair until it was unrecognizable. She was already in her new ornamental armor and her wedding crown sat on the table. Dedue would be bringing the bouquet by just before she left.

Vanitas was leaning against the wall by the door with his arms crossed. He was glowering at any of the girls who tried to talk to him.

Ingrid and Annette respectfully gave Vanitas space, but Mercedes was fearlessly relentless. She asked for his opinion on _everything_ and Mercie was doing most of the work. Ingrid was still so new to this anyway that she was more focused on the white rose flower crown she was making to pass the time.

Mercedes was trying to get Xion's hair to look cute but not ridiculous. Over the last week she and Annette had tried no fewer than 22 different hairstyles ranging from rat’s nest crazy to totally straight and plain. Now, morning of, Mercedes had decided. Annette was playing assistant as Mercedes brushed and pinned and gently teased Xion's normally straight hair into a curly collection just above the nape of her neck, in line with her ears.

Midway through, Mercedes cheerfully looked over at Van and asked, "What do you think, Vanitas?"

"I think you should leave me alone. I don’t want to talk. It's just hair. He'd think she was perfect even if she showed up with a bird's nest on her head."

Xion groaned, "Why are you like this Van?"

"He is right," Annette said, "Kishi likes everything if it's Xion." Mercedes, undeterred by Van's harshness just went on teasing and pinning and brushing with a cheerful smile.

"But this isn't just about Kishi," Mercedes corrected with her gentle tone, "it's for Xion too! I'm sure that Vanitas thinks you're very pretty, Xion." She gently pulled out a couple of strands to frame Xion's face and then started on makeup. Mercedes and Annette went very, very lightly on that, knowing that neither Xion nor Kishi cared much for the stuff.

"Vanitas, would you like to do the honor of putting her crown on?" Mercie asked.

Vanitas looked at the crown. It was a simple wire crown with different kinds of blue silk flowers sewn in. New ones joined every generation. The blue violets were his mother's, and the tiny Forget-me-nots were for Xion. He didn't say anything, picking the circle up off the desk and placing it delicately on Xion's head.

Mercedes and Annette came up behind him, gasping in delight. Ingrid too put her work aside to get up and come around to peer at Xion from under Van's arm.

"Oh Xion! You look simply divine!"

"You look like a Princess!"

"Oh, Xion, I'm so happy for you!"

"If you keep this up, I'm going to cry before the ceremony and ruin all the makeup you put on," warned Xion. She stood up and looked Vanitas in the eye.

"Thank you for being here with me," she told him sincerely. Van looked away and muttered something that might have been "You're welcome."

Mercedes squeezed Vanitas' arm gently when there was a knock at the door.

"Van, will you please get that for me?" she asked before turning back to Xion, gently positioning her hair under the wedding crown. He huffed and checked the door.

Dedue was standing there, dressed up nicely with polished armor and holding a delicate bouquet of white roses, forget-me-nots, and shions. They were bound and pinned with white and silver silk. A long, sapphire blue ribbon tied a brand-new horse brass to the bouquet and left a pair of long tails. The brass depicted a Wyvern and horse resting together with the silhouette of the monastery in the background. Two sprigs of laurels framed the image bound together by two interlocking rings. It was fixed to white leather and had the House Rowe seal from Kishi's ring pressed into the back. He had made it himself.

"It is my understanding that the ceremony is to begin shortly," Dedue said as he presented the bouquet.

"It is!" Sylvain said, jogging up, "but don't feel rushed. We don't have to start on time, and no one will mind waiting if it means you get to enjoy a peaceful, happy day."

Xion took the bouquet carefully. She was going to dry it later and wanted it to stay together.

"Thank you, Dedue, and maybe we need a few minutes, Sylvain." Vanitas was staring daggers at Dedue. Kishi may have hurt her but this man had tried to kill her once. Dedue bowed politely, completely ignoring Vanitas.

"I look forward to celebrating this day with you," the Duscur man said politely. Sylvain gave her a thumbs up, waved to Ingrid with a slight blush in his cheeks and then they both left.

Xion looked through the bouquet and carefully traced the brass. She'd seen Kishi working on it a few times, but he'd always hidden it if she tried to get close enough to see.

"...what do you girls think?"

Ingrid beamed. This was more her area of expertise.

"I think it's beautiful, Xion."

"What pretty flowers!"

"Dedue really out did himself! What do you think of Xion's bouquet, Vanitas?" Mercedes asked.

"She didn't ask me… and at least it matches the crown a little."

There was a knock on the door.

Vanitas answered it again and immediately pulled his dagger out.

" _You have three seconds to run, Riku_." Sora grabbed the dagger and tried to pry it away from Vanitas.

"We aren't gonna murder anyone!"

Xion froze at the sound of that voice. "...Sora...?"

The three girls looked up a little in surprise and Kent, who had been keeping guard from around the corner, came running up, sword partly drawn. Riku put his hands up in alarm.

"Good to see you too, Van," Riku grumbled.

" _Bullshit_." Sora peeked through the door and let go of Vanitas, who dropped the knife in favor of punching Riku.

"Xion? Is that really you?" Sora asked. Xion carefully handed the bouquet to Ingrid and ran forward to hug her brother. Sure that _Xion_ wasn't under attack, Kent let his sword sheath again but he was watching them carefully.

Xion was trying very hard not to cry as Sora said, "You're so beautiful, Xion! I'm glad we made it in time!"

"Xion, is this your brother?" Annie asked, "You two look so much alike!"

"Xion's my little sister!" Sora said proudly. The girls squealed with delight. Sora was an adult, but he was just so damn cute, like a literal ray of sunshine.

"Only by _twenty_ minutes! It's not enough to matter!" she insisted.

"I can't believe we've never met you before!" Ingrid said, grinning at him.

"Did you come for the wedding?" Annette asked.

"Yep! We were out of the country for a while..." Sora explained.

"Out of the country?!" Ingrid was genuinely surprised by that.

"...long story but yeah, we've been in Dagda."

"Dagda is so far away!" Annie exclaimed.

"Yeah! The culture's completely different over there!" Sora let Xion go.

Mercedes was just as delighted as the other girls, but it was hard to focus with Vanitas and Riku fighting on the grass outside the room.

Riku had already been punched by his brother a few times, he was _done_ with that, so he stumbled to some solid footing and punched Van who growled and held his cheek.

"You took Sora away from us. Hadn't our family suffered enough?!" Vanitas growled.

"OH, I'm _sorry_ I got him out of the country right as a _war_ was starting!" Riku growled back. He kneed Vanitas in the gut.

" _You could have told us!_ We were already on the run!" He tried to tackle Riku.

"You would never have let him go, you overprotective dick!" Riku went down with Van when he was tackled, punching at Van's head on the way down.

"We could have all gone! We had to move _anyway_ to stay away from the front!" Van tried to get a grip on Riku's throat. Riku scrambled to grab onto Van's wrists, using his legs around Van's waist to roll them so he was sitting on Vanitas.

"It was hard enough to get the two of us smuggled out!"

"You could have said something instead of having a _third child disappear_!" Van tried to bite.

Mercedes calmly got up and walked down the steps to the grass and expertly lashed out and grabbed one of Riku's ears and one of Van's ears. She yanked them to their feet.

"Stop acting like children. Today is about Xion and Kishi. Please wait until after the wedding and then you can go back to trying to kill each other. Ok?" Her voice was firm but not loud which was somehow scarier. Mercedes was just exuding peak mom energy as she told them off.

Vanitas glared at her but stopped fighting. Riku stopped fighting too but he kept shooting Vanitas angry glares.

"Xion, are you almost ready?" Mercedes asked as she walked back up to her.

"Hm? Oh, yeah." Xion took her bouquet back. Sora headed out to get Riku and froze at the sight. 

" _Vanitas!_ " she scolded. Van scrambled away.

Ingrid stood up and followed everyone out onto the lawn. She watched Van slink off and saw a bruised Riku wiping some blood off his face. He was the day's punching bag apparently.

"Um," Ingrid started, "we all need to get to the cathedral to get in our seats. Xion, do you want one of us to escort you to the doors?"

Xion nodded.

"I'd actually like to walk with you, Ingrid. If that's alright." Ingrid nodded politely in response. Sora helped Riku up and started towards the cathedral. Kent also walked with the others on ahead.

"Are you nervous?" Ingrid asked when they were alone.

"No. I'm... Excited. …and okay, maybe a little nervous, but I didn't think I'd _get_ to be married for a long time."

Ingrid took both of Xion's hands.

"You two were made for each other. I know it was a long journey to get here but you are now! I am so happy for you."

"I'm glad to have you here with us. You're one of my best friends, Ingrid." She smiled up at her. Ingrid blushed.

"I'm so glad you think so highly of me. Come on." She took one of Xion's hands to start walking to the cathedral. Xion kept her eyes down until she was at the doors where Sylvain met them. Ingrid smiled at him warmly.

"Are you ready, Xion? Ingrid and I are going to go stand up by Kishi and the Professor. Just take a few deep breaths and come in when you're ready. The choir will start singing when they see you. The Professor will talk you through the ceremony, so you don't have to worry too much about not knowing what to do," Sylvain instructed. Xion nodded and took a deep breath.

"I'll be waiting for you," Ingrid told her softly and then went into the cathedral.

The doors were open. They were too big to close outside of extreme weather or emergencies. There was a path of flower petals from the bridge to the end of the room, so it wasn't hard to know where to go.

Sylvain reached out and squeezed her hand reassuringly, then went inside to go stand next to Kishi.

The cathedral wasn't quite finished being repaired but the rubble was all cleared out and the dais at the other end of the room was rebuilt. Kishi remembered it being fenced off in his school days, but it was open now.

The big throne there was pushed back some, always left open for the Goddess. Byleth was standing just in front of the dais, under the big stained-glass window. The ceiling was still gutted but in a way it was more beautiful with the noon sun lighting the cathedral where the bridal party waited.

Kishi was standing on the right side of the room, facing Byleth, and praying to himself under his breath while he waited. Sylvain was standing next to him with Ashe and Felix just off to the side. All three of them were wearing their formal armor and personal house colors.

On the left was a space for Xion, Ingrid just opposite Sylvain, with Mercedes and Annette standing off to the side wearing their own formal wear and personal house colors. Dimitri, wearing his crown and fully armored himself, loomed on Byleth's right.

On either side of the aisle, family, friends, and those they served in the war with filled the seats.

Xion gave enough time for Ingrid and Sylvain to make it to their positions before looking up and taking in the church. Her father and Ven and Roxas all sat together. Sora and Riku on the other side. Vanitas was as far from the front as possible, but he was still there. All her family made it, and then, up front was Kishi.

Sunlight glinted off his armor and he really looked the part of the shining knight. Seeing him standing there, she wanted to run to his side. Jump into his arms and never let go, but she kept her pace even and slow, just taking in the sight. She felt light, and if it weren't for all the armor, she was wearing she was sure she'd float through the open roof.

The choir was singing hymns to the goddess while Xion walked. It was all in ancient, nonsense languages, but it was beautiful and helped eliminate an otherwise stuffy silence. Kishi looked up and around when he heard them start singing and just about melted when he saw her.

She carried the stars in her hair and eyes, and he felt like the whole universe was walking towards him. Sylvain had been a bit bummed when Kishi said they were opting out of a dress but seeing her here and now... She was _regal_ and strong. No one could doubt her noble spirit regardless of humble beginnings. In many ways, Kishi thought that made her all the more beautiful. Xion had more than earned the right to wear the armor.

He thought his heart might burst, it was so full. He resisted the urge to take her hands when she approached, keeping them clasped in front of him.

Xion's hands were tight around the bouquet by the time she made it to the dias. She kept her eyes on Kishi and waited for Byleth's instructions.

One of the reasons Kishi picked Byleth was because he knew that she was a woman of few words. Kishi could talk all day but he knew they would never find exactly the right words. How could they possibly? How could they really describe what they meant to each other when there weren't enough words in the world to do so?

Byleth motioned for the choir to stop singing and the congregation to sit. She very briefly told everyone sitting there about the first time Xion and Kishi had been paired together and some of what classes had been like, but Kishi wasn't listening. He was lost in Xion's glow.

He whispered softly, "You look beautiful."

She flushed for a moment.

"You're radiant."

Kishi was a little startled when Byleth said, "Do you have the rings?"

Kishi turned to Sylvain who gave him Xion's wedding band. Ingrid stepped up to take Xion's bouquet and hand her Kishi's wedding band. The Professor nodded to Kishi first who took Xion's hand and gently slid the wedding band on her finger to join the engagement ring there. Both of their wedding rings were simple silver bands.

As he did so, he said, "This ring I give you, before these witnesses and the Goddess, as a token and pledge of my constant faith and abiding love."

Xion took Kishi's left hand and slipped the band on.

“I give you this ring as a sign of our love, trust, and marriage. I promise to care for you above all others, to give you my love, friendship, and support; and to respect and cherish you throughout our life together."

Byleth turned to Dimitri then, who drew a massive broadsword and passed it to her. It was beautifully detailed, clearly meant to be more ornamental than practical despite the high quality. It was nicely polished with two roaring lions on the hilt and set with sapphires and diamonds. It had been gifted by Dimitri himself and forged for them, as was Kingdom tradition.

The Archbishop held the sword above her head for a moment.

"Let this sword be the first gift presented to this couple before the Goddess, that by it, they may carve their own path together." She put the sword, point down in the stone between them and held it still.

"Xion, put your hands on the pommel," she instructed.

Xion let go of Kishi's hand to take the sword.

"Kishi, put your hands on hers." He obeyed. Byleth took a long, double layered, white silk ribbon and loosely wrapped it around Xion's wrists, across their hands, and then around Kishi's wrists, then back again to loosely tie them together. The sword wasn't tied to them, but their bound hands rested on it.

"Xion, will you share in Kishi's pain and seek to alleviate it as you walk this path together?"

"Always.”

"Kishi, will you share in Xion's pain and seek to alleviate it as you walk this path together?"

"I will," he said firmly, eyes never leaving hers.

"And so, the binding is made. Xion, will you share in Kishi's laughter and look for the brightness and the positive in him as you carve your path together?"

This went on for a time. Byleth had them promise to share in their dreams and burdens, promising that their spirits would grow in unison. She had them promise to use the heat of anger to temper their union and strengthen the sword that they used to fight forward. She had them promise to see each other as equals in the union, with each of them keeping their hand on the sword, and after each promise she declared the binding made.

"Xion, Kishi, as we bind your hands before the Goddess, so too your spirits and destinies are joined by love and trust. May these hands be blessed to always hold each other, have the strength to hold fast during the storms, and remain tender and gentle in nurturing boundless love. May these hands be healer, protector, shelter, and guide on the path you make together." She tightened the ribbon so it was holding them firmly together now.

"On behalf of the Goddess, those present as witnesses, and by the strength of your own love, I pronounce you married. You may seal your vows with a kiss," Byleth declared.

Xion took a step closer to the sword. With both hands tied on, she couldn't pull him down, so she looked at Kishi for just a moment before closing her eyes and tilting her head back. He met her there, stepping up and kissing her gently. It was frustrating not being able to hold her, but the kiss didn't last long anyway. He was smiling too hard as the cathedral erupted into cheers and applause.

When he realized he was smiling too much to keep kissing her, he settled on just touching foreheads. A few tears rolled down Xion's face. This was a good moment. In the warm sunlight, it seemed to stretch on for hours.

Byleth politely got between them to unravel the ribbon and take the sword out of the way so they could more properly embrace. She tied the fabric to the sword hilt and sheathed it with Dimitri's help, the sword would be hung in the home as a reminder of their vows.

Dimitri was the first to hug them.

"Long live Kishi and Xion!" he called. Which was promptly returned by the rest of the congregation. Kishi was trying to hide his own tears but a few happy ones escaped as he hugged her, holding her tightly and stealing little kisses where he could. She was stuck between laughing and crying, arms wrapped tight around him.

"I love you. I love you!" she said softly, just for him.

Sylvain and Ingrid managed to get Dimitri off and Ingrid started them moving back down the aisle, this time together while the congregation cheered and threw rice at them. Kishi happily offered Xion his arm, honored to get to escort Xion _as her husband._

Xion looped her arm in his and placed her other hand on his bracer. A lot of rice bounced off their armor, but a few grains stuck in her hair like snowflakes or starlight. Ingrid managed to get them out the door despite the swarm of people trying to hug them and wish them congratulations.

"Go change into your clothes for the reception," she told them, "and take your time. Sylvain and I will handle getting your guests settled in at the party."

"Thank you, Ingrid." Xion waved at the crowd but stayed on Kishi's arm.

Kishi smiled at Ingrid but he only had eyes for Xion. He led his wife out down the bridge but once they detoured away from the Reception Hall, he walked a lot slower, just wanting to enjoy her.

"Can I tell you a secret, husband?"

"Anything, wife."

"I have never been happier than I am today."

"Ne neither," he told her gently. He stopped walking when they got to the gazebo.

"You know, I met you, right," --he positioned her in the courtyard some-- "here."

"There was a thunderstorm, and I was soaked." She sat on bench behind her.

"And I couldn't figure out why some crazy girl was just sitting out in the rain."

"I didn't have any idea why it would matter to you."

"I'm glad I didn't just run away," Kishi said, sitting next to her.

"I'm glad I went inside with you."

"I wish I knew then that I would eventually fall madly in love with you." He gently brushed a loose strand of hair from her face.

"I'm glad I didn't. I would have definitely avoided you." She grabbed his hand and nuzzled into it.

"We should go get out of this stuffy armor."

"Of course." Xion threaded her fingers with his and stood up. They walked hand in hand to her room where he stopped just shy of the door. He still wasn't sure if she was comfortable changing in front of him, married or not.

She turned to him, asking, "Are you alright, love?"

"There was nothing in our vows about throwing away our right to privacy. I don't want you to think that a pair of rings changes my expectations."

"I don't mind, Kishi. I think I've tried to tell you that twice now."

She pulled him down a bit and kissed his cheek before whispering, "and if you're comfortable with it, I'd like to have my wedding night tonight."

He made a little squeaking noise that maybe sounded a little too hopeful, eager, and desperate.

"O-Of course." He stepped into her room and closed the door behind him.

"Is this the gown that Annette and Mercedes made for the reception?"

"It is. I'm probably going to need a little help getting into it." Xion started unbuckling her armor and carefully putting it away. He helped where he could, not wanting to ruin her hair.

Xion had scars, just like Kishi. Not as many, in the air she was harder to hit. Tattooed on her back, between her left shoulder and spine, was the Crest of Indech, and just below it, the number 14. She didn't try to hide it.

His shyness was getting the better of him and he didn't want it to. He stopped her a second so he could gently rub his thumb over the tattoos, studying them and her scars carefully before he leaned down to kiss her shoulder from behind.

"I like the gown," he told her softly.

"It was Annette's idea." She carefully opened the back and stepped into the dress.

It was sleeveless but wide strapped, a perfect balance of comfortable and modest with a square neckline and minimally exposed skin. The ball gown was tight around her torso but flared out beginning at her hips into a wide bell. There was enough padding in an under layer to keep the fabric from bunching around and restricting her movement, but not enough to show if she were to spin, expanding that lovely, shimmering dress to its fullest.

The piece was a deep navy blue, soft and shimmery, with a lighter, transparent fabric set over it, also deep blue but scattered with silver speckles of varying sizes in a parody of the night sky that reached from her shoulders all the way down to her modest train.

"This is the part I need help with. I can't reach all the clasps," Xion admitted. He helped her pull it up and started gently closing all the little clasps. There were a lot of them which made it annoying to get into but contributed to the beauty of it.

"Where's your outfit?" she asked, turning to him.

"In Sylvain's room. It's not much different from what I'm wearing right now."

Xion gathered the front of her skirts in one hand to walk and linked arms with Kishi. He smiled at her happily and led the way to the second floor where Sylvain's room was. He closed the door behind them and started undoing the straps on his nice armor.

The clothes that Sylvain and Felix picked out were still very Lord-ish, complete with a half-pauldron + cape combo but the rest of it was thankfully unarmored and even more thankfully, long sleeved. Kishi brushed rice out of his hair and undressed down to his underwear before tugging on the midnight blue pants and knee-high gray boots with gold trim. The double breast, button up, sapphire blue waistcoat went on over a long sleeved, high collared, shirt dyed the same dark, midnight blue as his pants.

With the rebranding of Fodlan, so too did a lot of Houses. Most intact Houses stayed the same but while Kishi kept the Rowe family crest, he did away with the colors. His family's new colors were the same as his current outfit: sapphire blue, light gray, and a bronzed gold. The rest of his outfit was ornamentation.

He got Xion's help with the brushed silver pauldron and pale gray half cape that draped over his left shoulder. Everything had gold trim or embroidery, including his gloves which he opted not to wear. The sword belt he put on, but, again, opted out of a design choice, and left the sword behind.

Xion looked at him like he was the whole world. Her dress was beautiful, no doubt Mercedes and Sylvain worked together so they'd match. The design on her gown was busier but had less pieces than Kishi's.

"Are you ready to see everyone, love?" Xion asked. He picked her up and spun her around.

"I think so."

She laughed, "Are you going to carry me all the way?"

"Would you like me to?"

"Hm... I bet three kisses you can't."

He set her down.

"Oops, I guess that's three kisses."

Well there went that plan to rile him up.

"I want three different kinds of kisses," Xion insisted. He tilted his head in confusion.

"Different kinds of kisses huh? I'm not sure what you mean. Maybe a demonstration?"

"Well... there's a polite kiss..." She knelt and kissed his hand.

"And kisses that hold the world..." Xion stood and kissed him on the lips, not hard but full of all the feelings from their ceremony.

" _And_...kisses meant to start something else." She kissed from his jawline to the collar of his shirt. 

“But I'd have to stop there for now," she teased.

He shuddered and turned bright red, maybe even getting a little dizzy he was so flustered. His turquoise eyes adopted a sultrier allure and he put his hands on her hips. Oh Goddess help his poor soul from this dashing vixen. It was taking some serious strength to not just skip the reception and jump to their wedding night.

Fortunately, his stomach came to the rescue of their itinerary, growling a reminder that the reception was also dinner.

"You're a good teacher," he told her with some playful growl in his voice, "perhaps we can continue this lecture after I get to spin you around and show you to the world."

"I think that sounds _fantastic_ , but to answer your earlier question I would love for you to carry me." She grinned and placed her hands on his shoulders. He scooped her up and held her close to his chest, careful to be sure that his pauldron was out of the way.

"You will have to get the doors for us."

"I can do that." She wrapped her arms behind his neck.

It took some finagling but eventually he managed to get her to the north entrance of the Reception Hall where Sylvain and Ingrid were waiting. From a distance, it was clear the bridesmaid and groomsman were already having a good time. Ingrid giggled some and Sylvain leaned in, but they shifted away from each other when they saw the newlyweds, like two kids caught sharing a secret.

"Everyone is settling in really well," Ingrid told them, "We're going to go in first and tell the musicians to play a slow song for you too. I'll introduce you and then you two get to dance."

"Guess you'll be holding me a little longer. I still can't dance," Xion admitted.

"I never want you to learn. I love holding you on my feet." He set her down for now and waited by the door until he heard the music change then he took her hand and delicately led her inside.

"Presenting, Count Kishi Rowe and his wife Countess Xion Rowe," Sylvain announced. There was polite applause that died off gently as Kishi took her up on his feet and slowly glided with her in the middle of the room.

Xion entered the hall with Kishi. There was no more Xion Baker. She was Xion Rowe and she was _overjoyed_.

Like during the Ball, the Hall was devoid of benches and the long tables were replaced by smaller round ones. Live music was performed, and the middle of the Hall was left open for dancing. Food hadn't been served yet but fine drinks had.

Ludwig and Ven were near the doors to the dining hall so they could make an easy escape to the kitchen. Roxas had found a seat near the musicians, Sora was sitting with him. Vanitas was being an angry wallflower.

Kent was keeping Sain under control while he introduced himself to the bridesmaids who thought he was "such a sweetheart." Ingrid and Sylvain kept resisting the urge to dance with each other. Riku was sitting with Sora occasionally stealing kisses and nuzzles but mostly glaring at Van. Felix and Ashe were off getting the stronger booze and Dedue was dutifully keeping watch.

After a few minutes, Byleth and Dimitri started to dance too, then a few others until a large portion of the room was dancing. Kishi gracefully danced Xion to the side and kissed her, finally coming to a halt so they could greet their guests as people from the surrounding village as well as friends came to wish them well and leave presents in a designated place near the south doors.

As their last dance was coming to a halt, Ven and Ludwig ducked out. After greetings, food would be presented and served. Xion was brought a duplicate bouquet (the actual one being left in her room to avoid damage).

"Thank you for the dances, Love." She threaded their fingers together.

He turned his head and leaned over to kiss her. Their table was along the wall in the middle of the room so they could watch everything that was happening, and others could watch them, but he didn't care that they were on display.

"I'm glad your family could be here... Oh! And mine! Xion, Riku is here. I will have to introduce you to him."

"Sora's here too. He saw me earlier, but I didn't see Riku...I think he got in a fight with Van." Xion pulled out a seat for Kishi before sitting down herself. He pushed her in some and then sat down. Dimitri and Byleth were sitting at the same table as well, with Dimitri on Kishi’s left.

"Van wanted to kill me when he thought I was Riku. I'm not surprised they're fighting."

"I remember. Why did you run in on us and hit him? I don't think you ever told me."

"I thought he was attacking you," he said sheepishly.

Food was starting to come out. Some people were still dancing, which was fine, but most had gravitated towards their table to eat. The kitchen staff had teamed up with Bakers to make an incredible hog roast. The irony of eating hog wasn't lost on Kishi sitting next to the boar king, but Dimitri seemed to be good natured about it. In true, classic, meat and potatoes fashion there were roasted and seasoned herb potatoes and vegetables. Fresh baked rolls and butter were served alongside rich ales and wines as well.

No one was happier with the meal than Ingrid.

Xion mostly stuck to wine and even then, she didn't drink more than a couple glasses. She saved room for the cake she knew was coming. Goddess knew Xion loved her sweets. It looked like most people were holding out for the cake. Dessert was always popular.

Kishi and Dimitri were pleasantly tipsy, drinking a stronger ale that Dimitri had brought from Fhirdiad.

Ludwig and Ven brought the cake out on a rolling cart so there was no chance of it being dropped. It was four tiers, white, gold, deep blue, and white again. There were a few white roses clustered around it—and a coin hidden inside, promising good luck for someone. It was a spice cake, something the Bakers had never dreamed of being able to eat themselves. The rarity and price of such ingredients were staggering. Xion just about drooled.

There was a wonderful round of applause from the room at the sight.

Ludwig carefully cut the cake and served Kishi and Xion first, then Byleth and Dimitri. The King was delighted which was impressive, considering his lack of taste buds. Kishi too was very pleased.

"You've outdone yourself, Master Baker," Kishi said, and then much less officially, "thank you."

"It was my pleasure, Lord Rowe." Ludwig bowed before moving the cart to another table. Xion took a bite and just about melted over it. Kishi smiled at her expression.

"Hey now, you're making me jealous of a cake."

"I may love sweets, but I love you more." She turned to kiss him. He never stopped smiling through the kiss.

Eventually, the cake had been eaten. Riku wasn't sure if he was upset or not but he was certainly surprised to find a coin in his slice of cake.

"Sora, did your dad lose some change?"

"Hm? Why do you ask?" Sora had a smudge of blue frosting on his cheek. Riku held up the coin and his boyfriend grinned.

"Oh! That's a good luck coin! It got hidden in the cake and since you found it, you're supposed to have good fortune until the next wedding you attend!"

"I have all the luck I need right here." Riku leaned over and licked the frosting off Sora's cheek. He laughed and Vanitas pouted across the room.

They may not have done much dancing but Kishi was content just watching their guests, even the brother he was still kind of mad at. His retainers were still getting along, and the alcohol was loosening up any stiff nerves people might have had at the beginning of the evening. Anyone who was too rowdy was removed by Dedue, Sain, or Kent.

Kishi nudged Xion and motioned to Sylvain and Ingrid. The flower crown that Ingrid had made earlier was on Sylvain's head and he was hiding his face out of flustered embarrassment.

"Never thought I'd see _him_ flustered," Xion said softly. She'd started leaning on Kishi's shoulder as the evening wore on.

Sylvain and Ingrid were incredible at reading the room, the moment the party started to slow down they announced the end of the reception and the crowd gathered to see the newlyweds off. Atlas and Aster were both decorated in ribbons and nice tack with the brass from Xion's bouquet fixed to Aster's harness. There was more rice thrown as Sylvain and Ingrid ushered Kishi and Xion out to their mounts.

"There's a map on the saddle," Sylvain told Kishi, "We have a private cabin just outside of Garreg Mach for you two for tonight and then you can head off to your honeymoon in the morning."

Xion was riding with Kishi tonight. A lead rope was attached to Aster's harness.

"Are you ready, love?" she asked. He kissed her and then scooped her up, putting her up on Atlas' back before climbing up behind her. She settled perfectly in his lap.

"I'm ready. Sylvain, Ingrid, thanks."

"It's been the best day," Xion confirmed.

"We'll handle everything here," Ingrid promised, "We'll have everything moved to Arianrhod so you can go home after your honeymoon."

"Thanks, don't let my retainers follow us," Kishi ordered. Sylvain offered a mock salute.

"As you wish."

Xion held tight to Kishi. She gave the spare bouquet to Ingrid.

"Don't take too long getting to your own wedding."

Ingrid blushed and Sylvain just about choked and tried desperately to find something to look at. Atlas pawed at the ground and Kishi chuckled.

"You two would be wonderful together," he called as they started riding away.

As they rode Xion started feeling a little cold, so she hugged Kishi tighter. He held her close until they got to the cabin. Sylvain had sent people on ahead to fill it with a change of clothes, food, bedding for the animals around back, and they already got the fire started so the chill, spring, mountain air wasn't a problem. It was a cute little cottage too, only a couple rooms and not meant for extended stays.

Xion waited for Kishi to dismount. What Kishi saw as a 'small cottage' she still thought of as a decently sized house. He hopped down and reached up to grab her, pulling her down into his arms. He nuzzled her softly and carried her to the door.

"Let me carry you inside, Lady Rowe, and then I'll get the animals put up."

"Of course." She opened the door for him.

He carried her inside and set her down. True to Kingdom tradition, they had been given a couple new furs. The heavy blankets were incredibly soft. Sylvain had left some wine for them, but the rest of the food had been tucked away in the ice box or pantry. A change of clothes had been left out for each of them as well. Soft sleeping clothes and comfortable travel wear for tomorrow. Kishi tilted her chin back so he could kiss her lips softly.

"I'll be right back."

She waited patiently.

It took him some time to get them put up. He intended to sleep in so Kishi went ahead and took all their tack off, putting it in a spare stall next to Atlas. When he was sure they had been fed and put up for the night, Kishi went back into the cottage, already in the process of undoing his pauldron.

"Guess you can finally unwrap me," she told him. Xion had the top few clasps of her dress undone but couldn't reach the rest.

"Oh Xion, I'm sorry, I should've helped you out with this before I went to take care of the animals." He stepped up to help her undo the clasps.

"It's perfectly fine. Do you need any help with yours?"

"Only if you want to." He got the cape and pauldron off alright and was working on the buttons of his vest. Xion stepped out of her dress and hugged Kishi from behind. He stopped unbuttoning for a second to pat her hands.

"Hey, you're a noble now," he told her in a sing-song voice.

"Only in public."

"Oh? What are you private?"

"Lots of things, but tonight, mainly _yours._ "

He finished with the buttons and shrugged out of the vest.

"I hope you're mine all the time."

"For as long as we have. I will be yours."

He pulled his shirt off and turned around to hug her.

"I don't want another second apart."

"How close do you want to stay then?"

"Depends, did you still want that wedding night?" he asked. Kishi leaned down to kiss her shoulder and neck.

"...you still owe me three different kinds of kisses..." She closed her eyes. He hummed a little, lips just barely ghosting over her skin.

"Let's see if I can remember them all." Kishi leaned back a bit so he could gently kiss her forehead. While he did so, he delicately removed her crown and set it on the small table beside him.

"Was that a good enough polite kiss?"

She blushed a little and confirmed, "Very polite."

He put his hands on her hips, walking her backwards a bit more towards the bed.

"A kiss to hold the world huh." Kishi moved one hand to the nape of her neck and kissed her lips, lingering there gently and focusing on his love for her. She draped her arms over his shoulders.

Honestly, she was glad her eyes were closed or else they'd probably be leaking. When the kiss broke she touched her forehead to his.

"That's my favorite kind."

"Mine too," he whispered to her. He nuzzled noses for a moment and then guided her back a little more until her legs were bumping the bed.

"Third kiss, to start something else." Kishi kissed her lips briefly before gently grabbing her chin and tilting her head back so he could kiss her neck and collarbone, guiding her softly. 

* * *

6/15 - A Place to Call Home

They had spent a week on their honeymoon, secluded in a tiny corner of the world in a beach house that belonged to House Rowe. The shoreline of the ocean was a few days journey by horse or one on the back of a very fast wyvern.

Kishi had been content to spend their week away just learning everything about his wife. He wanted to know the version of her that Vanitas had talked about and with no other distractions, no war or responsibilities, it was all the easier to get to know all the finer details of her life. Every single one of them, no matter how small, adding to the tapestry of his love for her, refining it into something stronger and even more unbreakable.

It was hard to leave that little house at the end of the week but reality crept in through the stonework, reminding them that the Lord and Lady Rowe couldn't hide away from their duties forever but they were making the most of the way home all the same. Atlas was eager to run but walked along with frustrated patience and made his feelings known with the occasional toss of his head.

"We don't need to run home," Kishi reminded the horse with a slightly annoyed grumble.

Aster was walking with an awkward lumber beside them. For all the grace they possessed in the air and in the water, wyverns weren't great at dealing with being grounded.

Xion had spent the week asking questions as well. Hers were more focused on who they were going to be moving forward than who they were in the past. She was sad to leave their tiny bubble of no worries, but their titles wouldn't allow them to stay away. Kishi would have to personally examine all the territory he'd gained from Arundel and that would take time.

"It will be nice to see the city when we're not breaking into it," he confessed.

"Or breaking you out."

"I want to show you all the streets and all the shops. The walls can be daunting but with the war over, we can open all the gates and maybe even expand beyond the walls."

"I'd love to see the city the way you did growing up."

"We'll have to explore it before we have to leave again."

"We don't have to see everything. It'll still be here when we get back."

"Well, as much as we can," he insisted.

"Do you have a bakery?" Xion asked, priorities in order.

"At least one but I don't know if it's up to your standards."

"Most bakers know what they're doing. I still can't imagine living in a place that big." She thought back to her two visits to Arianrhod.

"It won't feel that way on the estate. It's like our own private corner of the world."

"I grew up with six people in one room. Anything is going to seem big."

"I still don't understand why they won't move to Arianrhod too," he grumbled.

"Because they've already got a well-cemented business in Enbarr and not everyone can walk away from established traditions of communities."

"Yeah, yeah, it still feels silly to me." The white walls of the city were visible from a distance, glinting in the late morning light. They'd be there mid-afternoon. Xion took a moment to take in the sight.

"What will you share with me first?" she asked. He hummed a little bit as he thought.

“I want to show you our home first," he decided out loud.

"Can we see it from here?"

"Not yet, it's inside the walls. Remember when we killed Metodey? He was hiding in the estate."

"Oh yeah. Sadist thought he was the first one to realize I wasn't with Empire."

Kishi chuckled, "He wasn't very bright was he?"

"Just thought he was more important than he actually was."

"Hey Xion, when did you know you loved me?" he asked gently.

"...lying on the field in Gronder. I didn't think I was going to get out of there. I remember, before that thinking I wouldn't mind dying in battle instead of... nevermind, but laying there, unable to even breathe, all I could think about was everything I left undone. People I wanted to see. I wanted to see my family, I wanted to stop Those Who Slither...and I wanted you to be happy again."

He blushed and looked away, all shy wiggles now.

"I am very happy now," he reassured her.

"I'm mostly happy."

"Only mostly?"

She pouted and lamented, "Our honeymoon is ending which means I'll have to share you again."

He laughed, the sound bouncing around the trees that lined the road.

"I will always make time for just us," he promised.

"I'm sure you will, and maybe we can still take vacations sometimes."

"Lots of vacations," he confirmed. They kept on chatting as they travelled, sometimes about nonsense, sometimes about serious things. Kishi only stopped talking when they reached the walls and started following them towards the main gate. There were plenty of other entry points, as Kishi had proven when reclaiming the city, but he wanted to do this right. This wasn't just his homecoming anymore, it was _theirs._

Xion and Aster walked a little closer to Atlas as they approached the city.

For a brief terrifying moment, Kishi was certain that his retainers, or maybe even Sylvain, had told the city of their arrival. He wasn't sure he'd be comfortable greeting the entire city for the first time as a newlywed. That was just stressful, and he wasn't dressed formally or anything.

When they rounded the corner to see the gate and the massive bridge that preceded it, he let out his held breath with relief. It was just the usual traffic of farmers, travelers, and merchants and hardly enough to seem abnormally busy. He kicked Atlas into a trot and the horse gratefully picked up speed until Kishi reined him in again in the middle of the stone bridge. The young Lord dismounted there and offered a hand to Xion.

She slipped off the wyvern and offered hers.

"Are you ready to be home?" Xion asked.

He took her hand and spun her around in a slow circle, dipping her low and stealing a kiss. Kishi didn't care that people could see them. He didn't care how out of place they were standing in the middle of a bridge in front of the great stone gates with a horse and a wyvern awkwardly blocking traffic on a Saturday afternoon.

He was here with his sun, his moon, and his stars. The beauty of where they were, this great military marvel, the Silver Maiden, was nothing compared to the infinity in Xion's eyes and the humbling intensity of the heart she so willingly shared with him. He knew more than anything else under the sky that his own heart was safe with her: Xion, his marvel, his wife, and the greatest part of himself.

If only he could will time itself to stop and the Goddess herself to bear witness to the truth that Kishi had taken far, far too long to realize.

"Arianrhod is just a place on a map, Starlight," he said softly, desperate to convey with all his soul his next words, " _Home_ , is where _you_ are."


End file.
